Chapter Thirteen
Corsica
"I'm sorry, Joshua, really I am, but I have a previous engagement tonight." I watched Joshua transform as he noticed Xavier Templeton.
His smile was wider, the dimple giving a practiced wink. "Mr. Templeton, I'm sorry if I'm trespassing. I'll get out of your hair."
Xavier waved an absent hand at Joshua and waited for Penn to walk up the front steps. "We'll give you two a moment."
"And nice to see you again, Mr. Penn," Joshua called.
I worried that Penn was going to turn around and throttle him right there in the driveway. The sparks of jealousy I had seen in his eyes had turned into a four-alarm fire when we kissed. Now that his father had interrupted us again, Penn looked ready to explode.
Joshua waited until they had gone inside the mansion, and then he turned to me with a frown. "You're making good contacts here, I'll give you that, but I really wish you would let me help you. There's a right way and a wrong way to go about cultivating relationships like that."
I licked my lips where they still tingled and wondered how Joshua would feel if I told him about the confusing relationship tangle I was getting into with Penn. I didn't even understand it myself. One moment, he was kissing me blissful, and the next, he was answering a business call. One moment, we were flirting and touching like a real couple, and the next, he'd turned it all into a lie we had to perform for his parents.
Why wasn't I packing up and going back to Santa Cruz with Joshua? I wondered.
He was still outlining the correct way to befriend someone as rich as Xavier Templeton, and I had my answer. Joshua was only interested in furthering his own career, and I was to be a useful tool. Maybe Penn was right, because I could easily imagine the tight squeeze I would feel after Joshua pushed me into the role he'd envisioned.
Penn, on the other hand, let me dangle.
"Corsica? Are you listening?"
I brushed back my hair with an impatient swipe. "I have to go inside and get ready. I'm sorry, Joshua."
"Wait, wait, wait," he gave an incredulous laugh. "You can't seriously be telling me you plan on staying here. Is it the singing? You can find a place in Santa Cruz; there's that karaoke place all the tourists like. I just can't stand here and let you make the wrong decision."
"It's my decision," I ground out. "I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions, and I'm saying goodnight. Goodnight, Joshua."
His expression was a mix of shock and pity. It was still irritating me as we drove towards Alice's encampment outside Pinnacles. Joshua honestly believed that I wasn't able to choose what was best for me.
Xavier pulled me out of my furious thoughts. "Have you ever heard the term 'glamping?'"
I blinked. "I think so. It's a mix of glamour and camping, right?"
He signaled the driver to slow down so he could roll down the window. "I thought you might like the look of it more than sleeping in a bag in the dirt. Each tent is equipped with a full-size bed, a solar-powered ceiling fan, and butler service. Who needs coolers and dirty campfire food when you have a man with a silver tray?"
Penn snorted. "It's ridiculous. Even Corsica can see that it's a total waste. If that's what you want, then you should be in a fancy hotel."
"Like the Ritz-Carlton?" I snapped.
His eyes narrowed. "Exactly."
I looked back out the window at the tents and spotted a chandelier illuminating one. "I think I would like glamping. All the comforts along with the peace and quiet of nature."
"Where's the peace and quiet when a butler keeps checking in on you?" Penn asked.
"What, you don't think I'm capable of making up my own mind about what kind of tent to stay in?" My voice rose a notch before I could get myself under control. "I can make my own decisions, thank you very much."
Penn leaned forward across the seat. "Then before you decide, you should consider the alternatives. Imagine it's just you in the woods. You have a tent and a sleeping bag and everything you actually need. The difference is you don't have any of the extras to weigh you down. There's no one there to judge your choices; there's no complicated choices at all. All you have to do is survive. I'm telling you, that's the most relaxed I've ever felt."
I hated to admit that his argument appealed to me. It had been a long time since I hadn't felt tested, graded, and compared to others. Roughing it in the woods meant I would have no one to impress and no one to please but myself.
And Penn. The thought seared through my mind before I could stop it. Ideas of how we would be together jumbled any counter-argument I might have been able to form.
Xavier chuckled. "And here we are at the spa."
I took one look at the artfully carved wooden doors and expensive Moroccan lamps and crowed with triumph. "See? Even your mother can appreciate a little luxury now and again."
Penn laughed. "Alice? In the spa? No, she's out back. Her clients meet her in a tee-pee at the edge of the trees."
I saw the tee-pee seconds before the flap flung open and Alice emerged. I was stumbling along the ice plant path in my heels when she met us with a flourish.
"I can't wait! You have to tell me all about the engagement and the wedding plans now this instant," Alice said.
"Don't you want to talk about your treatments-"
Alice cut me off as she looped an arm through mine and one through Penn's. She turned to her son. "What kind of wedding are we thinking about?"
Penn gave me a twinkling glance. "Something off the beaten path, closer to nature," he said.
Xavier immediately started to argue in my defense, and Alice swooped ahead to take him on. I crammed an elbow in Penn's side. "I know you're teasing me, but it's already backfired. Your mother loves the idea. You've made her happy."
Penn watched his parents walking arm-in-arm and frowned. "She looks so pale."
"But she's smiling. And she's in good company."
His frown turned to a scowl. "I'm never going to agree with you there."
I stopped him on the path and let his parents go ahead. "How can you say that? Xavier makes her happy; he's helping her through all of this. And she's forgiven him. Can't you see how much lighter that makes her? You're still letting it weigh you down."
"I didn't ask for it," Penn snapped.
I laid a hand on his stubbled cheek. "What if I want to see you happy, too?"
Penn's dark eyes softened. "Now you're going to use my arguments against me?"
"Only if they work," I teased.
Alice caught us smiling at each other. "I just can't wait. I got you an early engagement present! My friend Tabitha has time to see you both tonight."
Xavier groaned. "No. Why? The last thing newlyweds should face is a psychic."
"A psychic?" My stomach iced over. I couldn't tell exactly what was going on between Penn and me, so I didn't know why I should be worried that a perfect stranger could.
Penn looked as worried as me. "There's no rush. We came to see you."
"And I love you for it," Alice said. She pushed him towards a rustic trailhead marker. "Trust me. Talking to Tabitha is a great place to start. Maybe she can help you two sort out this argument about the style of wedding you want."
"That's true," I couldn't help but tease Penn and get a little revenge. "I have been leaning more towards a landmark wedding location, like maybe the Legion of Honor in San Francisco."
"No way," Penn snorted. He grabbed my hand and dragged me down the path. "All right, Mother. It looks like my bride-to-be and I will meet up with you in a little while."
"Don't rush Tabitha," Alice called.
I glanced back as Alice tucked herself under Xavier's arm. "I don't think she wants us to hurry. Looks like they might want a little private time themselves."
"I want to erase that thought from my head," Penn said.
"Maybe that's what we can ask the psychic about," I suggested.
The thought of this Tabitha person being able to see more than the normal person could perceive worried me. What if she took one look at me and knew I was falling for Penn?
It seemed impossible. I mean, we looked like complete opposites. Penn was wearing cargo shorts and a faded tee shirt. I was in dressy, black capri pants and a blouse. One glance from a normal person would confirm that we just didn't mesh, but what would a psychic say?
Would she know that I lay awake at night? Would she know how many times I counted out the steps between our rooms without getting out of bed? I tried to think of it as an alternative to counting sheep, but it only left me wide awake.
"We could get lost in the woods," Penn suggested.
I looked off the darkening edges of the path and weighed my options. Get eaten by wild animals or sit across from a supposed psychic. "You don't think she's the real thing, do you?"
"Don't you believe in psychics?" Penn asked.
I stopped on the path despite the fading light. "Do you?”
"I believe people can be a lot more powerful than they appear. Maybe she's just very perceptive."
That didn't comfort me at all. It didn't take a perceptive person to notice I was hand-in-hand with Penn out in the woods, instead of across a linen tablecloth with Joshua. I'd made my choice, but even I wasn't sure how far it went. And I wasn't ready for someone else to show me. Or, worse, tell Penn.
The trail was uneven, but well packed. Penn led the way but took the time to explain. "The spa's motto is mind, body, and spirit. The manicured gardens and luxuries are supposed to be for the body. Then there are the outdoor classes and guided activities. And, there's this. They made the path to look rustic."
I wobbled around a corner after him and saw another trail sign. "Meditation Grove?"
"One of my mother's favorite places. She leads groups here at least twice a week. Or she did." He kicked a few rocks loose along the path. "I looked on the schedule, and she's been taking a lot of time off."
I squeezed his hand. "Resting is good. It means she's trying to take care of herself. She’s trying to fight this thing."
I was still concentrating on Penn's worry for his mother when we came to the next sign. "Let's get this over with, huh?" he said and marched me past a sign that read “Psychic Consultant.”
"Come in," a musical voice called from the old-fashioned expedition tent. "It may seem silly, but I know why you're here."
"And who we are," Penn snorted. "My mother sent us."
"Of course, of course, and I'll get to you, Alice's son." Tabitha stood up from a brightly colored rug and took both my hands. "But first, I want to comfort Corsica. May I embrace you, my dear?"
Her faded sea blue eyes were so sincere that my heart bobbed in response. Tabitha enclosed me in a gentle hug, and her soft, silvered hair brushed my cheek. I blinked back sudden tears and thanked her in a whisper. It had been a long time since I felt the gentle support of a mother.
"Your mother's fight with cancer was so hard on you," Tabitha said. She straightened up and smoothed my hair back from my face.
Penn snorted again. "You mean my mother, don't you? Need to get your notes straightened out?"
"My mother died of cancer," I told him.
The gold fleck in Penn's eyes stood out as he gaped at me. "You never told me that. How could you not tell me that?"
Tabitha stepped between us. "Because she was helping you. She was playing the part you assigned her. What part is that?"
Penn cleared his throat. "Corsica is my fiancée. I'm sure Alice thinks that's an archaic role, but Corsica came here to help my family."
"As if she was part of it already." Tabitha smiled at Penn.
He turned away from her and skimmed over the knickknacks she had lined up on a rough wooden shelf. "We'd really like to focus on the here and now. So, I don't mind if we make this quick."
Tabitha sat on the rug and pulled me down beside her. "Obviously the past and the future are not easy to think about for either of you. Though, it is part of what binds you so close together."
Penn met my eyes and pulled a goofy expression behind Tabitha's back. I felt a tug in my chest as it occurred to me he might not want to be tied to me. "So we're a good match?"
"Doesn't everyone tell you that?" Tabitha asked.
I scoffed. "Everyone tells us we look good together, but as you can see, Penn doesn't put a lot of stock in looks."
Tabitha laughed. "You both look past that, but it's always when the other one is looking. Oh, I love seeing the silly mistakes of new love. Just remember that mistakes can be fixed. Giving up is the only thing that's permanent. Everything else passes."
Penn scrubbed his neck and offered me a hand. "Great, thanks. We'll tell Alice you were full of useful advice. Now, we don't want to keep you from the celebrations."
Tabitha stood up from the rug with an ease that defied her age. She lifted the tent flap to let us out. "Happy summer solstice-the longest day of the year. Too bad that also means it's the shortest night. Enjoy it while you can."
I thanked the elderly woman before Penn yanked me out of the tent. By the time we reached the path again, I wrenched my arm from his grip. "Stop pulling me along. I'm not some prop."
He spun around on the narrow wooded path. "No, you're not."
"Then, I'm just a silly mistake?"
Penn's shoulders sagged. "I didn't know about your mother. No wonder you're such a comfort. Bringing you along wasn't a mistake for me, but I bet it feels like one to you."
It felt like there were floodwaters pressing against my heart. I wanted to open up and let them rush over me, but I was too afraid.
I had always thought my parents’ marriage was a mistake. My beautiful mother trapped in that little town with nothing much. Then, I had seen how much they loved each other and how it killed my father when she died. I knew love was like drowning, and I was scared of it.
I tipped my chin up. "I'm not as shallow as you think. This trip has given me other things besides a nice mansion to stay in. I don't think I made a mistake."
He took my hands with the lightest of touches and lifted them to his lips. "Thank you."
I pulled back from the waves of emotions his lips stirred up. "You want to thank me? Then you're going to have to dance with me around the campfire."
Penn smirked. "How about we start with a little dandelion wine?"
"But I hear the music now." It was my turn to pull him along the path.
We veered to the right, away from the spa, and found Alice's campground by a side path. The bonfire was already reaching up to the sky, and all the campers were either playing an instrument or dancing. The celebration was bright, loud, and easy to get lost in. The psychic's words were forgotten, and our role as the happy couple came easily. I tugged Penn's arms around my waist and lured him closer to the dancing.
Xavier saved him and handed us each a cup of sweet wine. "You're going to like this, so I suggest right now you decide to camp overnight."
"Corsica camp?" Penn snorted.
I punched his shoulder. "I told you I grew up hunting, camping, and fishing."
"Then you won't mind hearing my idea for your wedding," Alice interrupted. "I can imagine you standing under a sea-swept cypress tree. The ocean's your backdrop, the waves are part of your vows."
"She's already had a little wine," Xavier interjected.
Alice swatted his hand from her arm. "It will be beautiful. Then, you'll leave the shore and hike into the oak groves. We'll make a campsite far up above the fog line, just for you two."
"And our honeymoon will be all hiking and camping," Penn said.
"Dream on," I snorted.
Alice frowned. "Don't you want to talk wedding plans? Isn't it exciting?"
It was, but it was also too close to the useless daydreaming my mother had taught me as a child. Penn and I were not engaged, and we would never be married. So, it hurt to imagine how wonderful it would be.
I felt a stab of guilt. We were feeding Alice a pleasant fairytale, and all of a sudden, it didn't feel fair. "It just doesn't feel real," I said.
I was on the verge of telling her, but Alice held up her hands. "I know. I understand."
I worried that she really did. Did Penn's mother know we were putting on a good show to make her happy?
Before I could pull Penn aside and share my worry, he whirled me into a wild dance around the bonfire. The rest of the evening melted into the long streaks of a slow sunset. The solstice was full of warmth, and when Penn finally led me to a quiet place on the hill, I felt a sudden chill.
He wrapped an arm around me, but I shrugged it off. "I feel like walking," I said.
Penn's lips curved. "Good because there's somewhere I'd like to show you."
He pointed high up the hill, but I was glad for the quiet hike. I carried the pack that Penn had tossed me and concentrated on making the weight seem inconsequential. Still, I was relieved when Penn stopped at an old oak and pointed out the quiet grove.
I dropped my pack and looked up. "The stars are so much brighter," I sighed.
"We're above the fog line." Penn cleared a place and laid out two sleeping bags. "Think you can handle sleeping under the stars?"
I shivered at how close it was to the wedding night Alice envisioned. "We won't be able to see them if we make a fire."
"Then we'll just have to keep each other warm," Penn suggested. He relented when I rolled my eyes. "I also brought a tent if that would make you more comfortable. Want me to start a fire?"
I surprised us both by laying down on one of the sleeping bags. "We won't be able to see the stars if you start a fire."
"So you like it?" His voice hitched. "This has always been my favorite campsite. I can't tell you how many nights I’ve spent here with just a sleeping bag."
I stretched out and smiled. "I'd rather see the stars than the inside of a tent."
Penn frowned. "Corsica, it's just us. You don't have to pretend."
I raked two hands through my hair. "God, you really do think I'm shallow, don't you? It can't possibly be true that I like to camp and that I too want to sleep outside under the night sky."
He squatted down beside me. "I just think I was unfair to mix you up in all this, and I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
"Then lay down. You're making me nervous."
Penn stretched out next to me, and I instantly felt the heat of his body. "I'm sorry about your mother," he said.
"Why me?" I asked, sitting up. "Why did you invite me home with you? Why did you ask me to come along?"
Now it was his turn to study the constellations above us. "I don't know. I appreciated your empathy, and now I know why."
"That's not why you invited me home with you."
Penn smiled. "I did that because you're sexy in a stuck-up sort of way." He caught my hand before I could swat him.
"You're a challenge. I can't figure you out. But I still feel like I know you. Not that perfect and poised image you work so hard on, but the real you."
"Penn?" I asked, leaning over him. "Are you pretending?"
"No." He twirled a strand of my hair around his finger and tugged. "Are you?"
"I'm not pretending." I gave in to the gravitational pull of him.
Penn lifted up to meet my lips, his hand tangling deeper into my hair. His other hand swept up the side of my hip and curved along the small of my back. I pressed my body down against his hard contours and felt that hand slip further down. He gripped the back of my thigh and drew me over him.
I heard his breathing hitch over my own ragged moan when our bodies brushed at the most sensitive spot. "No more pretending," I whispered against his lips.
Penn sat up, encircling me in his arms, his kiss now devouring me as his hands tugged at my sundress. I rode the rising waves of pleasure, straddling his lap as my dress slipped up and over my head. His shirt followed, and it still wasn't enough.
"I can't pretend," Penn moaned. "I want you too much."
I pried my hands off the hard flex of his shoulders and unclipped my bra. The heat of our bare skin brushing together was almost more than I could bear. I rubbed and pressed against him, wanting more.
"Corsica, please," Penn breathed against my bare neck.
I answered by falling back onto the sleeping bags and reaching my arms up to him. He covered me, muscles quivering, and when he pressed deep inside, I saw more stars than were in the sky.