Christmas Virgin (A Christmas Vacation Romance Novel) by Claire Adams (6)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Molly

 

I sat up in bed slowly, savoring the lazy feel of our rare sleepy Sunday morning. Since the incident with Alani and the Beaumonts, Tristan and I had worked for three weekends straight without taking a day off. We had finally managed to find a free day and happily, they had coincided.

Sometimes, I did miss not being able to spend quality time with Tristan. Sometimes, it felt like our moments together were fleeting. They were tiny little stopgaps along the way, and sometimes, it didn’t feel like enough. There were days when we came together only for sex. Tristan would tumble into my suite for half an hour during dinner. We would start talking, but inevitably, at some point during the conversation, he would pull me towards him and start kissing me.

It was impossible for me to resist when he kissed me. His kisses were full and open and heated with desire. Sometimes it felt like a kiss from Tristan could never just end there. It always led to ripped clothes and naked bodies and undulated moaning. Most of the time I didn’t mind; the sex was the only bond we could make within the time we had. It was the simplest, easiest, and most direct way of expressing how we felt.

And it changed all the time. Some days the sex was short, heated, and passionate. Sometimes it was more desperate, even bordering on violent. Then other times it was slow, gentle, and caring. I love the fact that Tristan made love to me in different ways. It meant that each time was new and interesting. I discovered new things about his body and mine. I realized what I was capable of; I realized what I liked and what I wanted done to me. Suddenly, I found that I had transformed from a virgin into a sexual being whose appetite just kept growing and growing.

There were little moments in between, however, when it bothered me. I knew that sex wasn’t our only connection. It was just that we didn’t have time for anything else.

That was truer for Tristan than for me. I wasn’t nearly as busy as he was. After all, he had an empire to run. Some days, I saw Ben and Alani far more than I saw Tristan. I knew what I was getting into, I told myself often. Mentally I was prepared, but emotionally, certain unwanted feelings cropped up without my permission.

But those feelings were easy to forget anytime Tristan did manage to find time for our relationship. That was how I knew I loved him, because even an uninterrupted hour with him was a gift. I rolled out of bed and walked over to the windows. Only one of the blinds was drawn up so that I could see the ocean. It was a perfect, calm day, and I wondered when we would next visit Tristan’s private island.

I walked into the living room and stepped outside onto the private balcony. The ocean looked like it was bowing at my feet. The water called to me invitingly, and I wondered if I had time to run around to the sea for a quick swim. I hated waking Tristan up when he didn’t need to be woken. I felt as though sleep was his one luxury when he had a day off.

I was still admiring the ocean when I felt Tristan’s large, warm hands encircle my body. I smiled and leaned back into him. “Good morning,” I greeted.

“Good morning,” he replied, kissing my neck softly.

I was wearing a thin blush slip with a deep neckline and a short hemline. Tristan’s hands started tracing the skin of my hands before sliding them underneath my slip. I could feel his hands on my stomach, near the waistband of my panties. The feel of his hard-on against my back thrilled me, but I also wanted to stretch out the moment. I wanted to make him wait first.

“What are your plans for the day?” I asked.

Tristan continued to kiss my neck. “I have a very precise schedule for today,” he replied.

“Oh?” I said, in surprise. “I wasn’t aware you had meetings today.”

“I don’t have meetings today,” he said. “I have appointments.”

I felt a sharp stab of disappointment. “I was under the impression that you were free today.”

“Nope,” he said. “Not free at all. I have lots to do today. Would you like me to tell you about my schedule for today?”

I couldn’t have cared less at that particular moment, but I swallowed back my disappointment and nodded. “Sure,” I said. “Go ahead.”

“My first appointment is right now actually,” Tristan began.

I frowned. “Now?” I asked. “It’s early.”

“I don’t think so,” he replied. “My first appointment involves fucking my girlfriend on this balcony, under the open sky.”

I let out a burst of laughter as I realized what his schedule would look like for today. “After she’s well and truly satisfied, I have a romantic breakfast to order in—which we’ll eat naked, of course,” he continued.

“Of course,” I smiled.

“Then some hot shower sex,” he said. “Then maybe a sojourn down to the beach, which will inevitably include more sex. Afterwards, lunch at the restaurant of her choice, and back up here for more sex.”

“So basically your appointments all include sex with me?” I asked.              

“They do,” he nodded, and I could feel his smile.

“There’s just one problem,” I said, turning around to face him.

I could feel his cock hard against my thigh, and I knew he was well and truly ready for me, but I wasn’t going to make this easy for him.

“What’s that?”

“I don’t have the same appointments listed on my schedule,” I said. “And, I think you need me for all of them.”

Tristan was about to say something when I leaned in and kissed him slowly. As I kissed him, letting my tongue trace the curve of his lower lip, I slipped my hand down and into his boxers. He groaned as I encircled his cock with my hand and started massaging gently. His hands started exploring my body, and I allowed him to remove my panties without a fuss. The moment they were down, however, I pushed him away and walked back into the suite.

“Hey,” Tristan said. “Where are you going?”

“I had an appointment with Ben,” I told him, with a smile.

He followed me into the suite. His hard-on was glaringly prominent through his boxers and I felt a little thrill of satisfaction. “Ben?” he repeated.

“Yes.”

“Fuck Ben,” he said forcefully. “I want you now.”

“I’m afraid I’m busy today,” I said, heading into the room. “I need to get dressed and head out.”

He groaned as he followed me into the bedroom. “What are you doing?”

“I’m getting ready to head out,” I said.

Then I started undressing slowly, moving my body seductively and with increasing slowness. Tristan watched me carefully, and I saw him cringe a little. “You are cruel,” he said. “How come I’ve never noticed that before?”

I laughed and threw my camisole on the floor. He stared hungrily at my naked body, and I gave him a smile. “Can you pass me my clothes?”

“I most certainly will not,” he said decidedly as he came forward and grabbed me.

I wanted to resist him a little longer before finally succumbing, but the heat of his lips, coupled with his hands on my ass, was a little too much for me to turn from. He pushed me down onto the bed, but instead of climbing on top of me, he settled between my thighs and pushed my legs open. The moment I felt his tongue inside me, I let out a bracing moan and clung to either side of the giant bed.

I writhed, while he went to town on me until I was wet and moaning and weak with desire. When he lifted his head up, I reached for him. He pulled himself up and pushed inside me in one smooth move. His cock was so large and hard that every time he entered me, I felt this whooshing feeling in the pit of my stomach that always traveled up to my heart. It was this glorious feeling of satisfaction that I had never felt before.

He fucked me furiously, pumping into me with a force so that my body shook violently beneath him. I pulled up my legs and wrapped them around his waist. I felt his body shake as he slipped deeper inside me. We rocked back and forth together, clinging to each other and rolling around on the bed like animals locked in a mortal embrace.

It was one of those days when one position was just not enough. First Tristan was on top, then he pulled me on top of him, and I rode him while he massaged my breasts and pinched my nipples gently. Then we changed positions again, and Tristan fucked me from behind until my whole body was writhing in ecstasy.

He didn’t give me time to recover from my first orgasm. He turned changed position again, and I fucked him in the reverse cowgirl position. Then the position changed again. It seemed like he fucked me in every position a man can take a woman. I was weak and shaking afterward and despite the fact that it was a cool and comfortable day, there was a visible layer of perspiration lining my body.

Tristan was sweating, too, and once I had calmed down, and my breathing returned to normal, I rolled back on top of him and licked the sweat off his neck and chest. He just lay there, with his hands on my back, moving up and down in concentric circles.

“So,” I said. “How did the first appointment go?”

Tristan’s laugh was weak too. “It was…orgasmic,” he replied. “There were moments that I didn’t think I was going to survive.”

I smiled. “Poor boy. I think you need breakfast.”

“I think it’s the only way I’m going to have the energy to get out of bed.”

I was kissing his neck when I heard him give a thoughtful sigh. “What is it?” I asked, sensing that something was on his mind.

“I don’t deserve you,” he said. He was smiling, but I could see the veil of seriousness underneath it.

“Don’t say that,” I said.

“It’s true.”

“You’ve given me a lot,” I reminded him. “You’ve introduced me to my sexuality, and you’ve given me a job I’m passionate about. That means a lot to me.”

“Is it enough?”

I knew what he was really asking. Did I mind the hours he worked and the limbo relationship we found ourselves in most of the time? He wanted to know if I was satisfied with our relationship the way it was.

“It’s enough for now,” I replied back honestly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Tristan

 

It was hard to feel like you were living a normal life when your home was actually a five-star resort in Hawaii, but there were moments when normal was exactly what I felt like. It was usually quiet moments in the morning when I woke up next to Molly. There were times when we could almost pass as the picture of domestic bliss. Except that Molly and I never had to cook or clean.

I was staring at Molly sleeping as I contemplated the future we might have one day. I had never before thought about marriage. I had never thought about children. I had been so consumed with working and keeping my father’s hard work going that I had never considered the alternate to career, which was family. Did I want the wife? Did I want the children? Did I want the minivan? Did I want the white picket fence?

They were never questions that had even occurred to me before. I had finished my degree and then jumped straight into a ready-made business that required my full attention. Whenever I had a moment to resurface for air, I only ever had time for a last-minute hookup or short-lived relationship.

But when I had committed to Molly, at least for the foreseeable future, it had opened up my mind to the possibilities. It had made me realize that I had never slowed down long enough to ask myself what I wanted outside of my career. And now that I thought about it, I realized that I could do without the white picket fence and the minivan, but the idea of having a wife and kids… Well, it didn’t sound so horrible.

I imagined myself standing at the end of an aisle, with a veiled woman in a white dress walking down towards me. It was a strange image, but I realized that I found it almost poetic in a way.

I was scared, in fact, I had never been so scared in my life. This life was not something I had ever considered. Did this happen because I was getting older? Or was this happening because of Molly?

The fact that she was my first serious relationship was not lost on me. Perhaps I was just romanticizing our situation. What if Molly was not as happy as she seemed? Even if she was happy now, there was no guarantee she would stay that way. I knew from past experience that women only put up with neglect for a certain period of time. After that, they get angry and moody and indignant. Then either they break up with me, or they force me to break up with them. It had been the story of my life for the last ten years, and I wondered if I was naïve to believe that could change.

I slipped out of bed and headed to the living room. It was early, but I got dressed anyway and headed to my office. The sunrise was magnificent, and I sat with my chair facing the windows with a cup of strong coffee, watching as world erupted in light. Half an hour later, I still hadn’t been able to stop my mind from racing long enough to get any work done.

I glanced at my watch and wondered if I should give Jason a call. I still hadn’t plucked up the courage to tell him about Molly and me. I had told Molly that I was scared to piss him off, but by now I knew that wasn’t the real reason. I was just scared that telling him would make this commitment real. It was nothing but a mental block on my part, but I was having a tough time wrapping my head around the reality of Molly and me.

I picked up the phone on my desk and dialed Jason’s number. Then I put in on speaker and waited for him to pick up. A few seconds later, Jason answered the phone.

“Hi, man,” I said. “Am I disturbing you?”

“Actually, no,” he said enthusiastically. “Perfect timing… I’m with the folks this weekend.”

“How are they?” I asked, even though I knew exactly how they were because of Molly.

“Doing really good,” Jason said. “Mom’s roped me into this charity fundraiser she’s doing tomorrow. She’s auctioning me off; can you believe it?”

I smiled. Molly had told me about it a few days ago. She and I had laughed at the idea of Jason parading around a room full of screaming women, determined to let loose for the night. Somehow, we had both felt that Jason would be in his element.

“Uh…that sounds fun.”

“Fun,” Jason repeated. “That’s one way of describing it. It’s for ALS, so it wasn’t as though I could say no.”

“What does this auction entail?” I asked, stalling for time.

“There’s this catwalk set up in the clubhouse,” he explained. “And there are thirty men on auction. The women have to place their bids, and the highest bidder gets the man she wants for a night of romance.”

I laughed. “What if some eighty-year-old bids on you?”

“Let’s hope she’s outbid by a twenty-year-old.”

“I hope she’s not.”

“Asshole,” he said, laughing. “If you had been around, you could have volunteered, too.”

“Uh yeah,” I said lamely. “Sure.”

“Try and sound a little more enthusiastic, why don’t you,” Jason teased. “Especially considering you don’t have to do it.”

“Hey, I actually happen to admire you for agreeing to take part,” I said. “Who knows, you could be bought by the love of your life tomorrow.”

“Is that sarcasm?” he demanded.

“Hey, stranger things have happened.”

Jason laughed. “Please, you know me,” he said. “I can’t settle. That’s the main reason we bonded in college, remember?”

I bit my lip. “Was that the main reason?”

“Don’t you remember the night we met?” he asked. “We were both trying to avoid crazy ex-girlfriends. I believe mine Claudia and yours was Yvonne.”

“Fuck,” I groaned. “Yvonne.”

“Remember her?”

I snorted. “Of course, I fucking remember her,” I said. “She practically stalked me for three weeks after I ended things with her. I think she thought her persistence would be attractive.”

“How’d you finally get her to stop following you around?” Jason asked.

“She saw me making out with Reese Tanner.”

Jason laughed. “That’s right… I remember Reese.”

“You should,” I said. “You hooked up with her a few weeks later.”

He laughed. “Ah, the good old days.”

“Quite frankly, I’m glad the good old days are behind us. Girlfriends are not something you and I should have in common.”

“Speaking of ex-girlfriends, I ran into someone from your past recently,” Jason said.

I suppressed a groan. “Who was it?”

“Faith.”

“Faith,” I repeated. “How’d you run into her?”

“I was at this club with a few work colleagues, and she stepped up to the bar beside me. She recognized me immediately.”

“How is she?”

“Seems to be doing well,” Jason replied. “She’s practicing law now… And, she asked about you.”

By the tone of Jason’s voice, I knew there was more to the story. “What did she say about me?”

His tone was amused. “She might still be a little sore at you.”

“For the breakup?” I asked incredulously. “That was years ago.”

“But apparently, it still stings,” Jason said. “She certainly didn’t seem to be thrilled by your success.”

“She’s certainly not the only one,” I sighed.

“Well you can’t really blame her, can you?” Jason said. “You did cheat on her.”

I closed my eyes for a second. “I… There may have been a small overlap…” Jason burst out laughing at my pathetic justification. “I thought we both knew that things were not going well.”

“Except that you forgot to break up with her before moving on.”

“I was a shmuck back then,” I said. “But I’ve changed now.”

There was a second of silence on the other line. “Have you?”

“Well… I mean… Sure… Of course.”

“Because last I heard you were just jumping from woman to woman in a string of one-night stands.”

This was the worst possible direction the conversation could have gone in. This was not the lead up I wanted before I told Jason that I was sleeping with his sister.

“That’s all in the past,” I said, trying to save myself just a little bit. “I think… I mean… I’ve turned over a new leaf.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” he demanded.

“Why?” I repeated.

“I don’t understand what brought this change on?”

“I got sick of all the meaningless sex.”

There was another second of silence. “Are you pulling my leg here?”

“No,” I said indignantly. “I’m being serious. I’m trying to be a standup guy here. I’m trying to see if I can hold a relationship for more than a few months.”

“Wow… Does this have something to do with a woman?” Jason asked pointedly.

I should have expected the question, but I still balked when he asked. It was the perfect opening, the perfect opportunity to come clean and tell him the truth about Molly and me. And yet, I found the words lodged in the back of my throat, unwilling to slip out.

“No,” I heard myself say. “Just a change of heart.”

“A change of heart?” he repeated.

“Yes.”

“Bud, I think you’ve been in Hawaii too long. The sun and surf may have addled your brains a little bit.”

“Are you telling me you never want to settle down?” I asked curiously. “Ever?”

“By settle down, do you mean sleep with only one woman for the rest of my life?”

“I’m being serious here,” I said.

“Well… I’ve never thought about it before,” he replied, and I could tell that he was thinking about it now, much like I had. “I suppose the idea of not ending up with someone is…”

“Depressing?” I offered.

“A little,” Jason agreed. “But I can’t help thinking that if I did settle down, it would be years and years from now. Like when I was in my forties.”

“And I’m assuming the woman you settle down with would be—”

“In her twenties,” Jason finished for me. “Of course, that goes without saying.”

I laughed. “You were always an ambitious horndog.”

“Takes one to know one,” he shot back.

I laughed, knowing that I had missed my opportunity to come clean. I tried not to feel very happy about that.

“Have you seen Molly recently?” Jason asked.

My smile faltered guiltily, and I was glad that Jason wasn’t here to see that. “Uh… Yeah, I see her a lot actually, since we’re working together now.”

“She loves working at the resort,” he told me. “This job is so much better for her than the last one.”

“I agree,” I nodded.

“I’m glad she has you over there,” he said. “I feel better knowing she has someone to look out for her.”

I raised my eyebrows, knowing he would probably kick himself over that comment later when he did eventually find out about Molly and me.

“Listen, Jason,” I said, hearing a knock at my office door. “I’ve got to start my day. Talk later?”

“Of course,” he replied. “Thanks for calling, bro; it was nice catching up.”

I cut the line and sighed at my own cowardice. “Come in,” I called, after a moment.

Ben walked in with his clipboard in hand. “The helicopter just landed,” he informed me. “Why aren’t you up there?”

“What?” I asked, in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Ben raised his eyebrows at me. “Emma’s here.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty

Molly

 

“How are you?” I asked.

Alani was looking much happier since the incident with the Beaumonts had been dealt with, and her name had been cleared. She had reverted back to the old Alani that I was familiar with—cheerful, playful, and easy-going.

“I’m doing great,” she told me. “But for a second there, I was terrified.”

“I can imagine.”

“You don’t know how grateful I am to you,” she said, looking at me earnestly.

“Hey, you don’t have to thank me—”

“No, I do,” she insisted. “Any other superior in your position would have taken the guests’ side over mine. They wouldn’t have bothered to check tapes and speak to the boss on my behalf. They would have just assumed they understood the situation and acted accordingly.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said, feeling slightly embarrassed by Alani’s obvious gratitude towards me.

“No, it’s true. I’ve worked in two other hotels before this one, and in both places, I watched how the superiors always yelled at the staff, whether it was their fault or not. If a guest makes a complaint, their word is taken as gospel, and no one cares about the other side of the story.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“We’re expendable, Molly,” Alani said. “But a guest must always be kept happy.”

“That’s not how I see it at all,” I said firmly. “We’re in the hospitality trade, and of course a guest must be kept happy…but within reason. If they do something wrong, they should be held accountable. Tristan feels that way, too.”

Alani smiled. “I heard what he did for Simon,” she said.              

“He’s suspended without pay for three months and won’t be eligible for any raises during the course of this year while his behavior and performance is being evaluated,” I nodded. “But considering the story he told Tristan about his mother was true, Tristan paid for her operation himself.”

“That was a wonderful thing he did,” Alani said. “Did you have anything to do with his decision?”

“Not even a little bit,” I said, giving credit where credit was due. “That was all Tristan, and I couldn’t be prouder of him.”

“You’ve been a good influence on him.”

“Oh, I don’t think that decision has anything to do with me.”

“I think it does,” Alani said with certainty. “Tristan was a decent boss beforehand, but he was never very involved with the staff. Nor would he have handled the situation with the Beaumonts the way he did if you hadn’t been there.”

“You really believe that?”

“I honestly do,” she said. “I can’t believe you haven’t noticed the difference.”

I thought about it for a second and then sighed. “To be honest, we don’t spend enough time together for me to notice much of anything.”

“He’s still very busy, isn’t he?”

“It’s been months now, and things don’t seem to be letting up.”

“He does have other hotels to see to,” she pointed out.

“I know,” I said. “And I don’t hold it against him for being busy all the time; it’s just sometimes…”

“What?” she pressed.

I sighed again. “I guess it feels like our relationship is stagnant. It’s like we’re living in this bubble that’s removed from the outside world. We work, and we come together at the end of the day, but sometimes it feels like sex is the one thing that bonds us.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Alani said, with a smile.

“It wouldn’t be,” I said. “But sometimes it’s the only thing we have. And that does bother me. Also, he hasn’t told my brother we’re dating yet.”

“Why haven’t you told your brother?” Alani wanted to know.

“Because Tristan asked me not to,” I admitted. “He told me that he needed to be the one to tell Jason. And, I understood that. They’ve been friends for years, and it seems right that Jason should hear about our relationship from Tristan. But it’s been awhile now, and he still hasn’t mentioned anything to my brother.”

“And that’s bothering you a little, too?”

“Well, it’s like he’s ashamed of us.”

“You don’t really believe that, do you?”

“No, I guess not,” I sighed. “But it does feel like he’s scared… Not of telling Jason specifically, but of announcing to the world that he’s in a committed relationship. Because that would make it real, and once it’s real, then we’re looking at the future and the next step, and I don’t know if Tristan is ready for all that.”

Alani listened carefully and nodded. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Of course,” I said, smiling slightly.

“Where do you see this going with Tristan?”

“I honestly have no idea,” I said.

“Okay then, where do you want this to go?” she asked, amending her question.

I bit my lip. “I love Tristan. I want to be with him. I think about the rest of my life, and he’s the only man I can picture myself with.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” I said, in a subdued voice.

“And, do you think he feels the same about you?”

“The thing is, there are moments when it feels like he loves me as much as I love him,” I said. “But then there are times when I notice the hesitation in his eyes. I see panic and fear and confusion, and it makes me question his feelings for me. I’ve grown up hearing about Tristan’s conquests. I know he’s not good at keeping a long-term girlfriend. And, I guess I’m wondering if I’m just naïve to believe that he would make that kind of change for me.”

“It’s possible.”

“But not probable,” I said.

“Sometimes it just takes the right person to change you,” Alani pointed out.

“See, that just sounds like a line from the movies,” I said. “Real life is more cynical than that.”

“Or maybe it’s just you that’s cynical.”

“Can you blame me?” I laughed. “I need to consider the possibility that Tristan is just not a one-woman kind of guy.”

“He’s trying to be,” she pointed out.

“And what if that’s a mistake?” I asked. “What if he’s trying to be something he’s not and that’s the real problem here. What if he’s only trying so hard because he got involved with his best friend’s sister?”

“What do you feel?” Alani asked. “What are your instincts telling you?”

“Can you really even trust your instincts when your emotion is so involved?” I asked. “I’m in love with him, and that is clouding everything else.”

“You’re questioning your whole relationship,” she pointed out. “Which means you’re not completely blind.”

“Just scared,” I said. “And worried.”

“Do you think that maybe you might be overthinking?” she suggested.

“Not in this case,” I said. “This is Tristan… I know him. I’ve watched him for ten years and paid attention to all the little things. He’s not as sold on this relationship as he claims to be.”

“Then you need to talk to him about it,” Alani said.

I smiled. “A simple suggestion,” I said. “And yet somehow, I find it the most complication option.”

“Are you scared of what he might say?”

“That’s an understatement,” I admitted.

“But wouldn’t you rather him be honest with you?”

“Of course,” I nodded. “Except that things are a little complicated now, what with the fact that I work for him.”

Alani’s eyes went wide for a moment. “If things don’t work out, would you continue to work here?”

I had been thinking the same thing over the last few days. The thought had popped into my head a few days ago and refused to budge until I had given it proper credence. I had suggested to Tristan that we make another visit to his private island for a little alone time. He had smiled and nodded and told me we would do exactly that when he had a day to spare, but that had been two weeks ago, and no trip had occurred.

I had been to the island only once, but I had formed a deep connection with the house and its picturesque surroundings. I longed to be alone with Tristan in that space again. It felt like we were cut off from everyone and everything…including my fears. I wished we could go back there, but I was trying to be considerate of Tristan’s workload.

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly. “I keep going back and forth. Sometimes I think we’re both mature enough to work together even if we did split up. But then… I really think about it, and I know that I couldn’t do it.”

“Oh, Molly…”

“I’ve been in love with Tristan for ten years, Alani,” I said. “If my feelings for him haven’t faded in that time, then they’re not going to. How can I possibly continue to live here and work for him? I’d have to watch him move on with his life, date other women, build a life for himself separate from me… It would be torture.”

Alani’s eyes were sympathetic, but I could tell she didn’t like the idea of me leaving. “This is all very premature,” she said. “Who knows, you and Tristan could end up married one day.”

I smiled. “I don’t know if Tristan is the marrying type.”

“Convert him.”

I laughed. “Easier said than done.”

“I have an idea,” she said, clapping her hands together.

“What?”

“I think the main problem here is that you don’t get enough time with him, right?”

“Well, yeah,” I said uncertainly.

“You’re both busy, it’s perfectly understandable,” Alani continued. “So what you should do is make time.”

“Uh…”

“What I mean is be spontaneous,” she said. “Surprise him when he least expects it.”

“Um, I’m not sure I understand.”

“I heard Ben talking with Tristan this morning,” she told me. “Tristan mentioned that he would be heading to his suite this evening to check on something… I’m not sure what, I didn’t hear that part. Why don’t you head on over to his suite and surprise him? Even if it ends up being a quickie in the shower or a fifteen-minute conversation, it’s something. Given how fast-paced your lives are, that’s what you’ll need to do to keep connected.”

I considered that for a moment. “You know, that’s not a bad idea.”

She smiled. “Excellent.”

“Wait,” I said. “I don’t have a key to Tristan’s suite.”

“You don’t?”

“Well, he’s always in my suite,” I said, with a shrug.

“It’s not a problem,” Alani smiled. “I can give you the staff key.”

Alani and I headed over to the reception where she handed me the staff key to Tristan’s suite. I thanked her and headed up to his room to surprise him, feeling slightly more positive and very excited.

Alani was right—given how much we both worked, I needed to be pro-active about time with Tristan, as opposed to brooding about it. If I wanted things to work out between us, I needed to try as hard as I could.

I got to Tristan’s suite and opened the door softly. I tiptoed inside and looked around. We were rarely ever in his suite. It was slightly smaller, and my view was far better. Still, it was a large and beautiful room. I heard the shower running in the bathroom, and I headed over there. I pushed the door open slightly and peered in. The shower was running, and someone was inside, but one look told me that it wasn’t Tristan.

I could see a faint outline through the smoky curtain. I could see the perfect silhouette of a naked woman. I froze in shock as my body reacted to seeing a strange woman in Tristan’s shower. Her clothes were all over the bathroom floor, and I could hear her humming softly under her breath. Realizing that she hadn’t noticed my presence, I backed out carefully and shut the door.

I stood in Tristan’s bedroom for a minute, trying to process what I had just seen. Was it possible that Tristan had just been stringing me along this whole time? Had he been sleeping with other women the whole time he had been sleeping with me? I felt hurt and disappointed and betrayed.

But most importantly, I felt like a complete and total fool—a fool who had clung to a perfect daydream instead of facing cold hard reality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty-One

Tristan

 

I had just finished a Skype meeting with my senior manager at the LA resort when I heard a sharp knocking on my office door. Frowning, I checked the time. My next appointment was not for another hour, and Ben was not due back for another fifteen minutes at least.

“Come in,” I called.

A second later, the door to my office flew open, and Molly walked inside. Her face was pale and strained, and her eyes looked angry and slightly red. I stood up and walked to her immediately, worried about what had caused her to react that way

“Molly,” I said, reaching for her. “Are you alright?”

“Don’t,” she said, turning her hand up to block mine. “Don’t touch me.”

I froze in place as I felt a wave of confusion take over. Obviously, she was mad at me… I just didn’t know what I had done. She had given me no indication that there had been anything wrong in the last few days. Was it perhaps something that had happened just now?

“I… Molly,” I said slowly. “I don’t know why you’re so upset?”

She stared at me for a moment, as though she were trying to figure something out. Her hand was still up, preventing me from approaching her. There was something in her expression that made me both scared and sad at the same time. There was intensity in her eyes that made me take pause. Whatever she was feeling right now was serious. Whatever she had seen or heard had made a big impact. I noticed that her body was stiff, but her hands were shaking.

“Molly, can I get you a glass of water.”

She didn’t answer me. In fact, it felt like she hadn’t even heard me. I let the silence stretch out, hoping for some indication of what was going on. Finally, she turned away from me, as though she couldn’t bear to look at me any longer.

“Molly, please,” I said. “I’m worried… What’s going on?”

“How long?” she asked at last.

“What?”

“How long has this been going on?”

“What?” I demanded. “How long has what been going on?”

“The women, Tristan,” she said, and her voice shook on my name.

Her emotion broke my heart, but I couldn’t bring myself to approach her. I was trying to understand what she was talking about. Had someone tried to break us up by telling Molly some ridiculous story about another woman? Or maybe it was Jennifer… had her presence here inspired the staff to spread rumors that had maybe reached Molly? What if she’d found out about Molly and me and was trying to get back at me? A hundred different possibilities rolled around in my head.

“Molly, I don’t get it… What women are you talking about?” I asked. “Who told you this? I would have thought you’d know better than to believe anyone else.”

Molly smiled, but it was an angry smile. “I believe my own eyes,” she said. “Can you argue with them?”

I frowned. “Can you please, please explain to me what happened? How am I supposed to defend myself if I don’t know what you do?”

Molly’s expression seemed to smooth out for a moment. “I wanted to surprise you today,” she said. “I heard you were going to be in your suite this evening and so I decided to head down there and surprise you.”

“I—”

Molly cut me off before I could say anything more. “I walked in hoping to find you, but what I found instead was a naked woman in your shower.”

I stared at Molly for a moment and then suddenly everything clicked into place: Emma. Molly had seen Emma in my shower. I was just about to open my mouth to give her the explanation when Molly spoke.

“Unless… Did you even know someone was in your suite?” she asked, and there was desperation in her tone. “Was it just some employee taking advantage of the amenities because they know you rarely use your suite? Is that it? Is this just a huge misunderstanding?”

All I had to say was a simple yes. And yet, I realized that I couldn’t do it. My tongue curled in on itself and suddenly it hit me. I saw the pain on Molly’s face. I saw what the possibility of my future mistakes could do to her. I had been battling with this very thing for the last few weeks. I had been terrified to let her down. I had been terrified to revert back to my old ways and leave Molly broken and devastated.

What was our future? I honestly didn’t know. Could I give Molly everything she deserved? Could I give her a life of domestic bliss? Could I give her the safety of a home and the promise of children? Could I give her fidelity and loyalty and attention? I wanted to do all those things with her, but I wasn’t sure if I could. I wasn’t sure if I had the propensity to go the distance.

If I said yes, then she would believe me wholeheartedly. She would throw herself into our relationship and would beg for my forgiveness for presuming that I was cheating on her. We would move on, and we would get further into this relationship. A few years would pass by, and things would start to change. What if I realized that commitment was not for me? What if I decided that I was happier without the pressure of having to consider someone else all the time?

They were selfish thoughts, and I knew that the fact that I was having them in the first place meant something. I needed to save Molly from myself, and in order to protect her later, I would have to hurt her now. It was a split-second decision, weighted by the bulk of my own insecurities, doubts, and fears, but I felt at the moment that it was the noble thing to do.

“No,” I said.

“No?” Molly repeated, and her eyes turned sad again. “There was no misunderstanding?”

“I should have told you about this sooner,” I said.

“About what sooner?” she demanded.

“The woman you saw in my suite… I’ve known her for a long time,” I said, choking out the words and trying to make them convincing. “And I care about her very much.”

Molly stared at me for a moment and then she turned her face away. A curtain of golden hair hid her expression from my view, and I was grateful for that.              

“I trusted you,” she said softly, and her tone was like a knife to my gut.

“Molly—”

“I trusted you!!” she screamed, throwing the full fury of her eyes onto me. “And worse… I loved you!”

“Molly—”

“I thought you loved me, too,” she screamed. “I thought we had something special. It was a long wait for me, and I thought it was worth it. It was worth it to me…until…”

“I never meant to hurt you.”

Her blue eyes flashed to mine, and I cringed against the emotion there. “How can you say that to me?” she demanded. “How can you look me in the eye and say that to me? You did this to hurt me—how could you not have. I should have known… It was only a matter of time. I was such a naïve fool to think that I could change you, to think that I could be enough to change you.

“This was the real reason you never told Jason, isn’t it?” Molly continued fiercely. “You knew it wouldn’t last between us. You knew I would find out sooner or later, and you wanted to keep Jason from ever knowing so that you could keep your friend after you were done with me?”

I looked down; it was hard for me to look her in the eye. “This is for the best, Molly.”

I saw her eyes go wide as though I had slapped her. “Did it mean anything to you?” she asked softly.

Tears were sliding down her face, and I felt my heart bleed at the sight. I so desperately wanted to reach out to her, touch her, pull her towards me, and beg her to forgive me—but I couldn’t.

“Of course it meant something to me,” I said. How could I lie to her about that? I couldn’t even if I had wanted to—she was too important to me, and I couldn’t bring myself to say anything else.

Molly scoffed in my face and turned from me towards the door. “Another lie,” she said. “If it had meant anything to you, then you would have at least had the decency to break up with me first…before you fucked another woman.”

“Molly—”

“I have to go back home,” she said.

I had expected as much, but it still hurt when she said the words. I pushed back my emotion and put on an expression of calm. “I’ll make arrangements to get you on the next flight out.”

I could see the sparkle of tears on Molly’s face as she shook her head at me. “I’ve spent ten years of my life loving you,” she said softly. “It was such a waste.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, it was the only thing I could say.

Her smile was heartbreakingly sad. “You know the really tragic part?” she asked. “Despite everything, I still love you. Even now… I still love you. I can’t just stop—but now I know I have to at least try. Goodbye, Tristan.”

With that, she turned and walked out of my office, but it felt as though she had just walked out of my life. I sat down heavily and reached for the bottle of bourbon I kept in the mini bar underneath my desk. I had just poured myself a glass when Ben walked in.

“What the fuck was that all about?” he demanded of me. “Molly’s leaving?”

“She just handed in her resignation,” I replied without emotion.

“What happened?”

“She saw a naked woman in my suite and assumed I was cheating on her,” I explained.

Ben frowned. “Naked woman… Are you talking about Emma?”

“Yes.”

“Emma was only in your suite because her room hadn’t been vacated yet,” Ben said, looking confused. “Molly knows Emma, surely?”

“She does,” I nodded. “But Molly never saw Emma’s face…”

“Then why the fuck didn’t you tell her?” he demanded.

“Because I realized something,” I said in a deadpan voice. “I’m not cut out for relationships; at some point, I’m going to hurt her. So…”

“You decided to make the decision for her—again.” Ben looked disgusted with me.

“I’m trying to protect her.”

“You’re an asshole,” he said, shaking his head at me. “Emma’s not going to like the fact that you used her to get rid of Molly.”

“Emma will understand,” I replied, not caring whether she did or not.

“Molly wants to leave first thing tomorrow morning,” Ben told me.

“Make the arrangements for her,” I said, knocking back my glass of bourbon. “Make sure she has a first-class seat back home.”

“And what are you going to do?” he demanded.

“I’m going to sit here and get drunk. Obviously.”

“You have meetings.”

“Cancel them,” I said firmly. “I’m taking a sick day.”

“And what about dinner?” he asked. “You were going to have dinner with Emma tonight.”

“Give her an excuse, any excuse,” I said uncaringly. “I’m not in the mood to make small talk with my sister tonight.”

Ben looked at me with a mixture of pity and disgust. “You just made a huge mistake; you know that, don’t you?”

“Ben, I mean this in the nicest possible way,” I said, pouring myself another glass. “Get out of my office and stay out of my business.”

“No problem,” he replied. “You’ll want to get used to being alone. And maybe you deserve to be.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” I muttered darkly under my breath.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty-Two

Molly

 

My mood was so sour flying back that even the luxury and comfort of first class could do nothing to soothe me. I had bought a book at the airport, but after realizing that I’d read the same sentence ten times, I decided to put it away and just wallow.

“Excuse me, ma’am?”

I looked up at the statuesque blonde flight attendant who was leaning over me with a pleasant smile on her face. Her eyes were a dark brown, and her hair had been combed into a perfect topknot that displayed her high cheekbones and lovely aristocratic nose. She looked like the kind of woman who never had any guy troubles. She probably used men the same way they used her. Which worked, because she never expected anything more from them. Which also meant she could never get hurt.

I knew I was building a character around her face that probably didn’t exist, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t in the mood to be fair.

“Yes?”

“Can I offer you something to drink?” she asked. “We have a selection of fresh juices.”

“Anything alcoholic?” I asked.

She smiled. “Of course,” she nodded. “We have a lovely selection of reds and whites.”

“Nothing harder?”

I saw one perfectly plucked eyebrow rise slightly. “What would you like, ma’am?”

“Bourbon,” I said instinctively, making the choice that Tristan would have made in my position.

The airhostess smiled and nodded. “And for you, ma’am?” she asked, looking towards the older woman sitting next to me.

“Orange juice,” the woman replied. “With a splash of rum.”

“Of course,” the airhostess nodded, before moving on down the aisle.

The older woman looked at me with interest. “Bourbon, huh?”

She looked a little like my grandmother—big, cuddly, and comforting. But unlike my grandmother, this woman looked hip and fashionable. She was wearing white linen pants and a matching white blouse with a pattern of seashells along the neckline. She was wearing chunky statement pieces around her neck and ears, and her silver hair was cut short.

“Yes,” I nodded shortly.

“That’s a hard drink to have on a flight,” she continued, in a strong Southern accent.

I just smiled politely and refused to engage.

“But when I look at your face, I suppose I understand the need,” the woman continued.

I looked at her with a small frown, unable to ignore that last comment. “What do you mean?”

“You look sad, honey,” she said, with a sympathetic smile. “I assume the bourbon is to…nurse that sadness?”

“I just… I’m sad to be leaving,” I sighed.

The woman raised one eyebrow at me. “But that’s not all you’re sad about?”

I smiled and looked at her pointedly.

“I’m sorry,” she said, with a laugh. “I know I’m being nosy…my children accuse me of the same thing. It just seems like such a waste.”

“What does?” I asked curiously, knowing I was getting drawn into a conversation despite my best efforts.

The wflight attendant approached and set down our drinks. The moment she was gone again, the older lady turned back to me. “Your generation,” she said. “You’re all so young, and you have your whole lives ahead of you…and still you waste your time being sad about everything. What I wouldn’t give to be in my twenties and thirties again.”

I smiled, and then I extended my hand out to her. “I’m Molly,” I introduced.

“It’s nice to meet you, Molly,” she replied. “I’m Meryl. Now that we’ve got the pleasantries out of the way, would you mind telling me why you’re so sad?”

“I… I had this really great job,” I admitted.

“In Hawaii?” she asked.

“Yup.”

“Wow, that does sound like a great job.”

I laughed. “I haven’t told you what my job was in the first place.”

“Doesn’t matter, really,” Meryl countered. “A job in Hawaii is already ten times better than any job anywhere else.”

I smiled and nodded. “There might be some truth to that,” I agreed. “In any case, I was forced to quit yesterday, and I suppose I regret it a little.”

“Why’d you quit?” she asked.

“Uh… It’s a long story.”

Meryl smiled pointedly. “It’s a long flight back home.”

I sighed but conceded. “The job was great, and the people I was working with were wonderful. It’s just…my boss…”

“He was an asshole, was he?” Meryl assumed.

“No,” I said sadly, thinking about Tristan and our day together on his private island. “He was a pretty good boss, actually. But…”

“Oh, don’t tell me,” she cut in. “You fell in love with him?”

I laughed. “Oh, I was already extremely in love with him,” I admitted. “I first met him when I was fourteen. And I’ve been in love with him ever since. He was my brother’s best friend.”

“Ah,” Meryl nodded. “Is he married? Is that the problem?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “He’s not married. He’s just…unavailable.”

“Meaning?”

“I don’t think he’s a one-woman kind of guy,” I admitted. It was painful to say, but once it was out of my mouth, it seemed to lose the power to hurt me.

“Ah…and did you know this beforehand?”

I sipped my drink. “I did,” I nodded. “But I thought… I thought…”

“You thought you could change him,” Meryl said without skipping a beat.

“You don’t understand,” I said, feeling the need to defend my feelings. “I always felt like we had this connection, except when we met I was fourteen, and he was eighteen, so it was one-sided at the time. As I got older, I sensed something changing between us, but I still wasn’t sure if it was my imagination or not.

“But then, six years ago at this family Christmas party, we kissed. And it was amazing and perfect and everything I imagined it would be. Except, he pretended that it never happened.

“I was devastated obviously, but I had no choice but to put it behind me. That is until a couple of months ago when I came down to Hawaii to stay at the resort that Tristan had just opened.”

“And that’s when things…rekindled?”

“Eventually, he told me that he had lied about not remembering that kiss… He was just scared to get involved with me.”

“Because?”

“I suppose he was scared of himself, too,” I said. “He was scared he wouldn’t be able to be the man I wanted him to be.”

“What happened that made you quit yesterday?” Meryl asked.

“The realization that I had idealized him in my head all these years,” I said. “He was different.”

“I see,” she nodded. “Can I ask you a complicated question?”

I smiled. “We’ve gone this deep into my personal life; I don’t see why not?”

“Despite the fact that this Tristan is not the man you had fantasized about in your head all these years, do you still love him?”

It was a good question and one that I already knew the answer to. I sighed. “I don’t have to think about that answer,” I said. “I still love him… I think I will always love him. I just don’t know how to stop.”

Meryl smiled in a way that betrayed her own personal connection to my problem. She looked at me with a maternal kindness and patted my hand. “I’m sixty-six, darling,” she said. “And I’ve been married for forty-five of those years. Forty-five years, and I can sit here today and tell you truthfully and confidently that I love my husband.”

“Wow,” I breathed, thinking about the kind of commitment it takes to stay married that long. I thought about my parents, and it seemed to me that every couple that had stayed married longer than twenty years deserved some kind of special honor.

“Tate was twenty-four, and I was twenty-one when we got married. Together we built a business, a house, and we raised three children. When I tell people that they look at me like I’ve led some kind of charmed life. They see my adult children, they see my beautiful grandkids, they see my fine house and my business, and they assume it all came easy.

“Let me tell you something, darling: none of it came easy. Tate and I, we struggled to build every single thing we had. But nothing was as much a struggle as our marriage. Not even my children realized that. Angela’s my oldest. Two years ago she came to me and told me that she and her husband had decided to separate. They were unhappy, it seemed, and they wanted to go their separate ways. When I tried to advise her, do you know what she said to me?

“She told me that I couldn’t afford to advise her because I had a perfect marriage,” Meryl said. She let out a snort of laughter and shook her head. “A perfect marriage… Ha!”

“What did you say to her?”

“I told her that soon after we were married, I left her father,” Meryl told me. “I wanted to file for divorce seven months after our wedding day. I also happened to be four months pregnant with her.”

“Why did you want to divorce him?” I asked.

Meryl laughed. “We were young. I was only twenty-one. I didn’t understand what marriage really meant. I went from my father’s home to my husband’s, and I felt as though I lost my identity twice over. We’d been raised differently, we did things differently, and I thought I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. So I went and stayed with my parents for a few weeks. And eventually, Tate came to take me back to our home.”

“And you went with him?”

“I went with him,” Meryl smiled. “Of course, youth can be impulsive, impetuous and reckless. But as you get older, the problems become harder, more serious.

“The second time I started thinking about divorce was different. I was in my forties, I had been married twenty years, and I had three teenage children. Tate and I had spent our twenties and thirties trying to build something that we could leave to our children. We had been so consumed with raising them, that somewhere along the way, we’d lost track of each other.

“Tate came home one day and made a confession. He had cheated on me with another woman…some girl in the company that was a good deal younger than me.”

“Oh God,” I said, clinging to Meryl’s story, completely absorbed in her life.

“I screamed and kicked and threw things,” she admitted. “I told him to get out. He said he wouldn’t, so I told him that I would leave. He told me I couldn’t because of the kids.”

“What did you do?” I pressed when Meryl fell silent.

“I stayed,” she replied. “For one year after that, we lived like strangers. We slept on opposite corners of the same bed, we exchanged conversation during dinner in front of the kids, and we went along with the routine of our lives… For one year it was hell. But then at the end of that year, we both realized something.”

“What?”

“We had healed a little,” Meryl told me. “We came together, we talked things out, and we decided that despite everything, we still loved one another. And we started fresh, we endured, and because we endured, we fell in love with one another all over again. We became best friends as well as lovers.”

I took a deep breath. “It takes a lot to forgive a man who cheated.”

“It does,” she nodded. “That really depends on the woman. My point though is this: love and marriage...it’s not something that just falls into your lap. If you’re lucky enough to find someone you love, you need to fight like hell to keep that love alive. Because it’s not always going to be perfect, it’s not always going to be easy—it’s work and change and sacrifice.”

I reached for my glass, but then I changed my mind and dropped my hand. “You have a point,” I said. “But that also depends on one very important factor.”

“Which is?”

“Both people need to want to work at the relationship,” I said softly. “If one person just wants to walk away…”

“Then they were never meant for you in the first place,” Meryl said pointedly.

I sighed inwardly. “They were never meant for you in the first place,” I nodded.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty-Three

Tristan

 

The incessant knocking at my door betrayed who was behind it. Emma had never been very patient. Rolling my eyes, I went and answered it.

“Took you long enough,” she said, breezing in without an invitation.

“Hello to you, too.”

“You haven’t spent any time with me since I arrived,” she said accusingly as she spread herself over my sofa and made herself comfortable.

“You’ve been here barely two days,” I pointed out. “And I greeted you when you arrived, didn’t I?”

“What am I?” she asked. “Just another random guest at your fancy ass resort?”

“Uh no…a random guest would be paying for room and board,” I said, sitting down on the chair next to her.

Emma gave me a wink. “Aw, come on,” she said. “Those are just the perks of having a powerful big brother.”

“How’s Mom?” I asked dryly.

“Mom’s fine,” Emma shrugged. “You know.”

“I don’t know actually,” I admitted. “I haven’t spoken to her in months.”

“Really?”

“Not since her birthday.”

“Wow,” she said. “No wonder she complains about you so often.”

“She complains?”

“Of course,” Emma nodded. “She’s always talking about her successful son… I mean, she’s proud and all that, but she’s kind of bitter, too. But don’t worry, she doesn’t blame you.”

“Who does she blame then?” I asked.

“Your father,” Emma smiled. “Obviously.”

I rolled my eyes. At the time, Mom and dad’s divorce had been contentious. Of course, I had been young enough that I didn’t remember any of that. The summer after their divorce I had been enrolled in an exclusive boarding school in England and had left the troubles of my parents’ marriage behind me. After that, I had swapped off summers and holidays between them.              

I had been six when Mom had remarried, a full six months after the divorce had been finalized, and I had been seven when she had given birth to Emma. I still remembered the pug-faced infant that Mom had shoved in my face like some kind of prize. I had just arrived from boarding school with plenty of stories to tell, and a pink-faced baby with the most annoying voice I had ever heard had upstaged me.

I looked at Emma in mild amusement and thought how lucky it was that she had grown out of her pug face, her excessively pink cheeks, and her freckles. She had turned from an ugly child to a gangly teenager to a woman that many men would consider beautiful. The only thing she had kept from her youth was the shrill and annoying voice. Emma had been nothing more than an irritation to me growing up, but adulthood had created an unlikely friendship between us that had evaded our younger years.

“Of course,” I nodded dryly. “Whatever she can blame on my father, she will.”

“To be fair, she blames my father for just as many things,” Emma said, with a shrug.

“Oh?” I said, with some interest. I had never particularly warmed to my stepfather, who was as overwhelmingly boring as he was arrogant. “Like what?”

“Like my rebellious nature,” Emma said, with a satisfied smile. “She claims I inherited my sharp tongue, my brash manner, and my willfulness from him.”

“Huh, I wasn’t aware he had that much character,” I said slyly.

Emma shot me a sharp look that was laced with amusement. We had developed a shorthand over the last few years that some would describe as dark humor. Despite my best efforts today, however, I was having a hard time concentrating on the conversation. It was taking a lot of energy and concentration to attempt to appear calm and unfazed.

“As much as I would like to defend my father, I’m forced to agree with you,” she shrugged. “Although what he lacks in personality he makes up for in mystery.”

“Meaning?”

“He has secrets,” she replied. “Kind of like you.”

“Excuse me?” I said, taking the bait.

“I hear you have a girlfriend,” she said, and her tone shifted slightly. “Or at least, I hear you had a girlfriend.”

“That’s none of your business,” I said immediately.

She smiled, and I knew instantly that she wasn’t just going to let this topic go. “Nothing is ever really my business,” she said. “I make it my business.”

“Yes, I remember,” I nodded. “That’s why I avoided you when we were kids.”

Emma sat up and crossed her legs. Then she fixed her dark hazel eyes on me. “You and Molly, huh?” she said. “At long last.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You’ve always held a candle for Molly. Don’t even bother denying it.”

“What makes you think I did?” I demanded.

“I may be seven years younger than you, but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid, Tristan,” Emma said harshly. “Or blind, for that matter. I just noticed things.”

“You’ve seen Molly and I interact all of what…two times?”

“It was enough,” she said, with a shrug. “Remember that big party that your father hosted to open one of his many hotels?”

“Yes.”

“You invited me to that.”

“I didn’t invite you,” I reminded her. “You begged me to include you.”

“Whatever, same difference,” she said dismissively. “The point is I was there, and so was Molly and her family. I watched the two of you the whole night. At first it was only obvious to me that Molly was infatuated with you, but as the night progressed, I realized you had feelings for her, too.”

“Based on what?”

“The way you looked at her,” Emma replied. “The way your eyes lingered on her when she spoke. The way you made excuses to touch her throughout the dinner. The fact that you barely noticed the cocktail waitress who was flirting with you.”

“I noticed her,” I said defensively. “I slept with her later that night.”

“And did you think of Molly the whole time?”

“I knew letting you have a suite here would come back to bite me in the ass,” I groaned.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Do you deny it?”

I sighed heavily. “No.”

She smiled smugly at me. “I thought so…. Now, what happened?”

“Nothing,” I said, trying to brush it off. “She was here for a few months, we got involved, and now we’re not involved anymore.”

“Why?” she pressed.

When Emma got like this, she was like a dog with a bone. She wouldn’t let go until she had dug deep. “This thing with Molly was…it was just a fling.”

“Bull.”

I raised my eyebrows. “It’s true.”

“Please, you think that’ll work on me,” Emma asked. “I know you, Tristan, better than you think. You’re lying to me.”

I groaned. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“I’d like some answers,” she shot back. “And while you’re supplying them, you can grab me a drink, sure.”

“Why do you care?” I demanded. “You barely knew Molly.”

“No, but I liked her,” she replied. “And I happened to think, even back then, that she was a perfect match for you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you want to go swim or something?”

“The whole resort is buzzing by the way.”

“People like to gossip.”

“Especially about their hot young boss,” Emma smiled sweetly. “Who apparently drove off a woman that everyone loves.”

“She chose to quit,” I said. “I never asked her to leave.”

“Uh-huh,” she said, fixing me with a curious expression.

“What?” I demanded, growing impatient.

“Would you like to tell me why she quit?”

“Obviously, it wasn’t working out between us,” I said, with a shrug. “And she couldn’t very well continue working for me after we broke up.”

“And you just let her go?”

“I told you,” I said. “She was just a temporary distraction.”

“You are an asshole,” Emma said pleasantly. “And a liar.”

“Why would I lie?” I asked calmly.

“Because you’re a coward,” she said simply. “You’re scared of how you feel about Molly, and instead of owning up to it, you’re running from your feelings.”

“Fuck,” I said, running my hand through my hair. “Who do you think you are? My shrink?”

She gave me a wide smile. “I’m starting my doctorate next year,” she said. “Psychology.”

“Fuck,” I repeated.

This time, Emma didn’t smile. Instead, she stood up and walked over to me in a manner that was so pronounced that it was decidedly intimidating. “Apparently, the rumor running around the resort is that Molly stormed into your office because she found out something.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “I’d really like to know who’s behind these salacious rumors.”

Emma rolled her eyes at me. “Is it true?” she demanded.

“She was mad about something,” I admitted at last. “Yes.”

“Which was what exactly?”

“She wanted me to give her a commitment,” I said, skirting around the real reason she had stormed into my office. “And, I wasn’t prepared to make her any promises.”

“Because you’re a coward,” Emma nodded.

“No,” I said defensively. “Because it’s what’s best for her.”

“Says who?”

“Me!”

“Oh yeah,” she scoffed. “Because you know what’s best for everyone.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, Tristan,” Emma said, matching my annoyed tone. “You’re holed up here in Hawaii working so hard that you forget to actually live your life. You realize you’re not even thirty yet, right?”

“Your point?” I demanded.

“How are you qualified to know what’s right for Molly when you don’t even know what’s right for yourself?”

“I can still kick you out of that suite you’re in,” I threatened.

“Go ahead,” she said calmly. “I’ll just pack up my stuff and move right in here with you. Of course, next time I’ll be sure to lock the bathroom door in case another one of your girlfriends walk in and gets the wrong idea.”

She knew about that, too. I groaned inwardly, both infuriated and amazed at how accurate all her information was.

“What?” Emma asked, looking me in the eye. “You’re not going to deny that that’s what Molly was upset by?”

I sighed and collapsed against the single seater. “Our relationship would have ended at some point. This gave us both an out… It’s better this way.”

“You’re a coward,” Emma snapped.

“You said that already,” I said callously. “So if you’re going to circle back around to your greatest hits, I’d suggest you take your leave and leave me to my misery.”

“So you admit you’re miserable after Molly left?”

I groaned loudly and buried my face in one of the throw pillows. “Please,” I begged. “Please just leave me alone.”

“Oh don’t worry about being alone, Tristan,” Emma said, as she moved towards the door. “You’ve got the rest of your life to be alone…especially if you keep running from all the people that love you.”

The moment she left, I felt a keen surge of relief. And on its heels came the thick choking discomfort of knowing that Emma was probably right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty-Four

Molly

 

I was lying in bed in my sweats and an oversized t-shirt that I’d owned since I was twelve years old. It had a picture of Calvin and Hobbes on the front, and it made me nostalgic for a time before I knew Tristan Dubois. I was brooding over the sad turn my life had taken when I heard a knock on my door.

“I’m fine, Mom,” I called, throwing a pillow over my head. “I don’t want pie.”

“I’m not here to offer you pie,” Jason said, barging into my room without my consent. “In fact, I’m pretty happy you have no appetite at the moment…more pie for me.”

I rolled my eyes and sat up in bed as Jason closed the door behind him. “You were always a glutton for peach pie.”

“No arguments there,” he said, sitting at the edge of my bed.

“When did you get here?” I asked.

“Fifteen minutes ago,” he replied.

“Did you make the trip just for me?”

“I may have.”

I groaned and collapsed back onto my bed. “I knew Mom wouldn’t be able to resist calling you.”

“She was worried.”

“She doesn’t need to be.”

“Oh really?” he said as he lay down next to me. “Because it seems to me like you’re depressed about something.”

“I’m not,” I lied. “I’m just broody.”

“Broody?”

“That’s right,” I nodded. “A period of mourning is customary after you’ve lost your job.”

“Except you didn’t lose your job,” Jason pointed out. “According to Mom, you quit.”

“What has she told you?”

“That’s basically it,” he said. “She told me you arrived yesterday without warning with all your bags. You refused to eat anything and refused to talk about anything except to say that you quit and were home for good.”

I sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Too bad,” he said unsympathetically. “Cause we’re going to talk about it.”

“No thanks.”

“Okay then, I guess I’ll have to call Tristan.”

Jason reached for his phone, and I groaned and smacked it out of his hand. “Fine, fine,” I said, in frustration. “I’ll tell you what happened.”

“Excellent,” he said triumphantly.

“But you have to promise me one thing.”

“Which is what?”

“Don’t give me a hard time about this, okay?”

He frowned. “Oh boy…”

“It’s not anything terrible,” I rushed to tell him. “It was just…poor judgment on my part.”

He raised his eyebrows. “This would all make a lot more sense to me if I knew what you were talking about.”

“Right,” I said, biting my lip. “Well… I just want to start off by saying I loved the job. The people were great, and the interaction I had with the staff was… Well, let’s just say I made some friends.”

“Okay, so you obviously didn’t quit because you hated the work.”

“No.”

“Has this got anything to do with Tristan?” he surmised.

I stayed silent, and that gave Jason his answer. “I see,” he nodded. “Well, if you’re worried I’m going to take Tristan’s side over yours, then you have nothing to worry about it. He may be my closest friend, but you’re my sister.”

I smiled and gave Jason a kiss on the cheek. “You’re a good big brother.”

“Stop stalling.”

I gave him a small smile, and then I sat up in bed and Jason mirrored my movements. “I should preface this conversation by making a confession.”

“Okay?”

“I have been in love with Tristan since I met him,” I said quietly.

“Whoa,” Jason said, as his expression changed into one of surprise. “That’s… Whoa…”

I smiled. “Does that freak you out?”

“I… Well… No,” he said slowly. “It doesn’t freak me out. It’s just… I mean, when you were younger we suspected you had a crush on him—”

“Who’s ‘we?’” I demanded.

“Mom, Dad, and I,” Jason admitted. “But as you got older, you seemed less…aware of Tristan, and we all assumed you’d gotten over him.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I just got better at hiding it.”

“Ah…”

“In any case, when I went down to the resort, everything was great, and I had a really good time. Tristan and I didn’t see much of each other, and that was expected, but upsetting to me at first. I started dating casually, and Tristan seemed to get jealous of that. Then the night of the resort Christmas party—”

“You slept with Tristan?” Jason interrupted, his voice going up an octave.

“Uh… Well…. yeah.”

“Fuck.”

“It wasn’t just sex, okay?” I said. “We had a relationship… We were in a relationship.”

“For how long?”

“Since Christmas.”

“What?”

“Yeah…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded.

“I didn’t tell anybody.”

“Is that your excuse?”

“I wanted to tell you,” I said. “But… Tristan insisted that he should be the one to tell you. But he obviously never did because he didn’t really intend for our relationship to be long term.”

“But you thought it would be?”

“Things were going so well between us,” I said. “Tristan was amazing—”

“Of course he was amazing, Molls,” Jason said, sounding frustrated. “That’s how he is with women. He’s charming and charismatic and a whole heap of other things besides. It’s how he lures them in. Did you actually believe he would be different with you?”

“Well, yeah,” I said defensively. “It was different between us.”

“Oh,” Jason said, with obvious disbelief.

“Scoff all you want,” I said. “It was different. I felt it. I’ve seen Tristan with old girlfriends, and I know how he behaves around them. With me, he was…more like himself.”

“Okay, then what happened?” Jason asked. “There’s a reason you’re here brooding about something. Something must have gone wrong to make you quit.”

I sighed. “He became distant with me suddenly,” I said, unable to bring myself to tell Jason the whole truth.

I didn’t want this little thing between Tristan and me to destroy the relationship that he had with my brother. I wasn’t sure why I wanted to preserve that friendship, but I felt like it needed to be done. A part of me also knew that when I told Jason, he would definitely be pissed off enough to cut Tristan off, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to let go of him that completely. At least this way, I would still hear about him through Jason.

“Distant?” Jason repeated.

“He just… He was working all the time,” I said. “He didn’t have time for me.”

His expression relaxed a little. “Is that the reason you quit?”

“I was angry and emotional,” I admitted. “I made a split-second decision.”

“So…you didn’t quit because…”

“Because what?” I pressed.

“Because you saw him with another woman or anything, right?”

I gulped inwardly. “No,” I said, hoping that I sounded convincing enough. “No, that wasn’t it.”

“Oh, okay,” Jason nodded. “Because if that had been the case, I would have flown down to Hawaii just to kick his ass.”

I smiled. “Thanks, big bro.”

“Anytime,” he said willingly.

I nodded and looked down at my hands, feeling slightly more depressed than I had this morning. Talking through the whole thing had made me realize how rash my decision had been at the time. I had been impulsive, and I remembered what Meryl had told me on the flight back home. Should I really have let a man get in the way of my career? I loved my job independent of Tristan, and I should have stayed at it, for no other reason than to prove to him that he didn’t have power over me.

“Hey,” Jason said, calling my attention back to him.

“Yeah?”

“What’s going on in your head?”

I smiled. It was a phrase that Dad used to use on us when we were a little too quiet at the dinner table. “I guess I’m just sad,” I said.

“About Tristan or your job?”

“Both,” I said. “But with Tristan, I tried. But my job I loved, I wish that I hadn’t quit it.”

“Don’t you have a contract?” he asked.

“Yes,” I admitted.

“How long is it?”

“One year,” I replied. “I didn’t really consider my contract before I quit, though.”

“It’s not like Tristan will do anything about it,” Jason pointed out. “But it is a good excuse for you to go back.”

“What do you mean?”

“Go back and tell him that since your contract is still in play, you didn’t feel right about quitting halfway through.”

“But…”

“It’s going to be hard for Tristan to replace you,” Jason said. “He’s not going to make an issue about it.”

“But—”

“If you really want your job back, then you shouldn’t let Tristan stand in your way.”

“What if he doesn’t want me back?”

“He’ll want you back,” Jason assured me. “I know Tristan well enough to know that.”

I considered it for a moment. “It would be nice to be back in Hawaii…and the job was really good. I just don’t know if I could handle that.

“Handle what?”

“Seeing Tristan every day,” I admitted. “I mean, it’s going to be difficult seeing him with other women. How am I supposed to cope with that?”

He was looking at me carefully. “Your feelings for Tristan…they’re serious?”

I smiled. “Extremely serious,” I said. “I’ve been waiting for them to disappear for ten years now and so far, no luck. And being with him these past few months… It’s only cemented the fact that I’m in love with him and will probably always be.”

“You know, Molls… Tristan has always been like that,” Jason told me. “Work always came first with him; it’s how we were both raised. It’s why none of his previous relationships worked. He’d end up neglecting his girlfriends in favor of his work.”

“I know that,” I said, trying to pretend as though that were the real reason I had left Hawaii.

“I just never thought that would be a factor for you,” Jason observed.

I tried not to look too guilty. “Neither did I,” I said lamely. “But I suppose I just felt as though I were more like his mistress than his girlfriend. I mean, some days it was just about sex...”

“Okay, okay. I don’t need to know the details.”

I smiled. “Come on; we’re both adults.”

“You’re still my little sister,” he said. “And there are some things I never want to discuss with you.”

I rolled my eyes and leaned back against my pillows. “I need to think about this…”

“I wish you had told me how you felt about Tristan,” Jason said. “I could have warned you.”

“Warned me?” I asked. “Against what?”

“I guess I would have tried to discourage you from getting involved with him in the first place,” Jason said. “He’s a good guy, but when it comes to relationships, he’s not exactly had a high success rate.”

“It only takes one time,” I pointed out. “It only takes the right woman to change a man. Look at Mom and Dad.”

“They were a special case,” Jason said. “That doesn’t happen very often.”

“I know I was naïve,” I said. “But I’m still glad everything happened the way it did.”

“Because you’re a secret masochist?”

“No,” I said. “Because now I can finally put my feelings for Tristan behind me and try to move on. Maybe now I’ll be open to another man.”

“Even if you work for Tristan?”

I gritted my teeth together as my resolve formed. “I shouldn’t have slinked away like some broken thing,” I said. “I should have stayed and proved to him that I could do my job, no matter what.”

“You still can,” he pointed out.

I nodded slowly, as I realized I could do that. I had given up too easily; I had let my emotions cloud my judgment. It was time to grow up and face Tristan again. And maybe in facing him, I could also let him go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty-Five

Tristan

 

“What’s up?” I asked as Ben walked in.

He sat down opposite me, and I passed him a glass of water. I could tell from the expression on his face that he wanted to bring up a subject that I probably would have preferred to avoid. I hesitated a moment and then sighed.

“Whatever you came here to say, just say it already,” I said, glaring at him.

“We need to hire someone to replace Molly,” Ben said bluntly.

I sighed. “I know.”

“And yet you’ve done nothing about it,” he pressed. “I can start the process, but I need your go ahead to do that.”

“I know.”

He raised his eyebrows at me.

“We’re not going to find anyone who was as competent as Molly,” I said.

“I realize that,” he nodded. “Which is probably why you shouldn’t have chased her away.”

“She quit,” I reminded him.

“Because of you.”

“It doesn’t matter why she left,” I said. “What matters is finding someone who can do the job—and do it well.”

“What do you want me to do with Molly’s contract?” Ben asked.

“Oh…”

“Legally she can’t just leave like she did.”

“I’m not going to get into legalities, especially with Molly. She wanted to leave, and I’m not going to force her to come back because of that piece of paper.”

“How very gentlemanly of you,” he said, and I could detect the extreme sarcasm under his dry tone.

I rolled my eyes. “What’s my schedule look like for the rest of the evening?”

“The evening is over,” he pointed out. “It’s almost eight o’clock.”

“Fuck,” I said. “Seriously?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “You’ve had back-to-back meetings since five.”

“No wonder I feel so drained.”

“There was no reason you needed to have all those meetings today,” Ben reminded me. “You chose to.”

“I like to get my work done.”

“Or you desperately needed a distraction.”

“If I need a fucking shrink, Ben, I’ll get one,” I said. “I don’t need you analyzing me. Emma’s already got that covered.”

He smirked. “Speaking of Emma, she’s going to get pissy if you’re late.”

“Fuck, am I having dinner with her tonight?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “And you canceled the last two times, so I’d suggest you get going.”

“Can’t I cancel this time, too?”

“Only if you want her storming in here and throwing a hissy fit.”

“Fuck,” I said, in defeat. “Fine…where did she want to have dinner?”

“Albero’s.”

“No,” I said firmly. “I’m not in the mood for Albero’s tonight.”

“You haven’t been since Molly left.”

I shot Ben a glare. “Change our reservation to Mosaic and inform Emma.”

“You’d better hurry,” he told me. “It’s nearly eight.”

“I’m going,” I said, getting up and heading out. “Inform Emma.”

I made my way to my suite. I’d been in the same clothes since morning, and I needed a shower and a change. I knew it would make me a few minutes late but I decided that Emma would give me shit anyway, so it wouldn’t matter either way.

When I arrived at Mosaic, she was sitting under the lights of the restaurant’s largest crystal chandelier. She was wearing a slinky dress in a bright red and her dark hair was draped over one shoulder. She was smiling at my bartender when I slipped into the seat opposite her.

“It’s against resort policy for staff to date the guests.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re late.”

“Stop flirting with my bartender.”

“What’s his name?”

“None of your business.”

“He’s cute.”

“Are you not listening?”

“I am listening,” she smiled sweetly at me. “I just don’t care about your stupid rules.”

“You’re too young for him.”

“I’m almost twenty-two.”

“Exactly my point.”

Emma sighed and picked up her wine glass. “I took the liberty of ordering some wine. Would you like some?”

“No.”

“I was certain you would cancel on me tonight, too.”

“I very nearly did,” I admitted.

“For a legitimate reason?”

“All my reasons are legitimate.”

“So, no?”

I smiled. “Can’t we just sit here and have a pleasant catch-up, brother to sister?”

“Sounds boring,” Emma noted.

“What would you rather do?” I asked. “Ride my ass some more about Molly?”

“What’s her number?”

“You’re not calling her.”

“Why not?”

“Because I forbid it.”

“You forbid it?” Emma repeated. She sounded incredulously amused.

I sighed. “I don’t want you stirring up trouble for me.”

“You wound me,” she said, feigning hurt. “I would never stir up trouble for my favorite brother.”

“Please,” I said. “Trouble was what you did best. You were the bane of Mom’s existence growing up.”

“I challenged her.”

“You aged her.”

Emma smiled at me. “You are good—that was deftly handled, the way you changed the subject.”

“Shall we order?”

“Sure,” Emma nodded, turning towards the waiter that materialized at her right shoulder. “Hello, doll… I’ll have the shrimp and mushroom crepes. And another glass of wine please.”

“I’ll have the steak,” I said.

The moment the waiter had disappeared, Emma turned to me as though our conversation had never been interrupted. “So, about Molly—”

“For fuck’s sake, Emma,” I sighed.

“What?” she asked innocently. “I just want to say hi.”

“Why?” I demanded. “You barely know Molly.”

“On the contrary, we were very good friends.”

“Really…very good friends?”

“Okay, so we could have been very good friends, but she was three years older and we lived in different states. My point is that had we had the opportunity we would have been the best of friends, like you and Jason.”

The mention of Jason sent me into a fresh wave of sweat. I hadn’t spoken to him for a while, but I knew that by now he would know about Molly and the fact that she was no longer working with me. I wondered what she had told him and if she had mentioned that we had been involved with one another these past few months.

“Where did you go?” Emma asked, looking at me pointedly.

“Nowhere,” I said quickly. “Nevermind.”

“Missing Molly?”

“No,” I said, a little too fast. “No… I just… I was thinking about Jason?”

“You never told him, did you?” she surmised. “About you and Molly?”

I sighed. “Maybe you’re right,” I said, feeling like a complete loser. “I am a coward.”

“Of course, I’m right,” Emma said, shaking her head at me. “There’s no question.”

“I just… What do I tell him?” I asked. “I have no idea what Molly’s told him.”

“Probably the truth,” she replied, with a shrug. “At least, the truth as she knows it.”

“In which case, Jason probably hates me,” I said. “Which is why I haven’t heard from him since Molly left.”

“Can you blame him?” Emma asked darkly.

I rolled my eyes. “Are you still mad at me about that?”

“About what exactly?” she asked pointedly. “The fact that you used me to get rid of Molly? The fact that you tried to pass me off as the other woman?”

“Okay, calm down… Molly made her assumptions.”

“Which you didn’t bother correcting.”

“It was for her—”

“If you say, ‘own good,’ I will throw what remains of my wine in your face,” she said. “I promise you that.”

I groaned, but I didn’t finish my sentence—mostly because Emma was extremely capable of following through and throwing the wine in my face. She was famous for her dramatic outbursts, and I wasn’t interested in causing a scene in the middle of one of my most crowded restaurants.

“I had my reasons,” I said, finishing safely.

Emma smiled. “I feel like I need to explain to Molly.”

“Fuck, Emma, she doesn’t know it was you,” I said. “There’s nothing to explain to her.”

Emma glared at me for a moment. Then she seemed to relax. “Whatever you say.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Emma?”

“Yes?” she said sweetly.

“What are you up to?”

“Me?” she asked, looking a little too innocent. “Nothing at all, big brother.”

“Emma...”

“The wine is fantastic,” she said, interrupting me. “You should have some.”

“I’m not drinking tonight.”

“Why?” she asked. “You’ve been hitting the bottle pretty hard the last few days.”

“Who told you that?”

“I have my sources.”

I rolled my eyes. “I need to fire the whole damn staff and rehire people who will keep their mouths shut.”

Emma laughed. “There won’t be anyone to wait on your tables and clean your suites if that is the case. Accept it, dear brother, this is the nature of man.”

“Are you seeing anyone back home?” I asked, trying to show an interest in her life so that she’d get off mine.

“A few people,” she nodded.

“A few?” I repeated.

“What?” she asked. “I’m too young and hot to settle for just one guy.”

I laughed. “I bet Mom loves hearing that.”

“You should call her more,” Emma said. “Then she wouldn’t focus on me so much.”

“How are things between her and—”

“My father?”

“Yes.”

Emma shrugged. “The same as always. I think they sleep in separate rooms now. It started right after I moved out.”

“That’s sad.”

“I agree,” she nodded. “But it is what it is. I don’t think Mom wants another failed marriage under her belt.”

“And Herman?”

“Dad’s busy with business,” Emma replied. “And golf, and he’s content enough to coast through his marriage.”

“No wonder we’re so cynical about love and relationships,” I observed. “We never had real examples growing up.”

“Meaning what?” Emma asked. “We’re doomed to repeat the same mistakes?”

“Unless we simply stay away from relationships altogether.”

“Ah is that it?” she asked. “That’s why you chose to let Molly believe you were cheating on her?”

“Does everything have to come back around to Molly?” I asked tiredly.

“You’re scared that at some point in the future, you will hurt her,” Emma continued. “And then you’ll lose Jason and Molly. Let’s face it, they’re your real family.”

“You’re my family, too,” I said.

“Sure, but I’m the family you got,” Emma said. “They’re the family you chose—you’ve always loved them more.”

“Come on—”

“Don’t bother denying it,” she said. “It’s okay, Tristan; it’s not like we had much opportunity to become very close over the years. You were much older and jumping between Mom’s place and your dad’s… Plus, there was your boarding school. I’ve always been curious as to why you were sent to boarding school in the first place?”

“I thought it might be fun,” I shrugged.

“Wait, it was your idea to go?”

“Yes.”

“You were six,” Emma said, in disbelief. “You voluntarily wanted to head off to boarding school?”

“Even at six I knew a bad divorce when I saw one,” I said. “And I knew I wanted to be as far away from it as I could.”

“Hmm…interesting,” she said, looking at me carefully.

“Oh boy,” I sighed. “What keen psychological evaluation have you made of me now?”

“I was just thinking that it’s interesting that you began creating distance between yourself and others from such a young age.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be off duty at the moment?”

Emma smiled. “The truth hurts, big bro,” she said. “If you don’t recognize and accept it, you’ll be doomed to repeat the same mistake over and over again.”

I flagged down a waiter instead of responding to Emma. “Get me a glass of bourbon,” I said.

“I thought you weren’t drinking tonight?”

“I am now,” I said. “Because if I’m going to make it through this dinner with you… I’m going to need it.”

Emma gave me a smile as she reached for her wine. “Denial can be comforting,” she said. “But trust me, it won’t comfort you forever.”