Chapter Twelve
Abby
He's up there shooting himself up with drugs right now, I thought. Just like during the luau. Was that what the drugs did to you? I wasn't that familiar with what heroin was supposed to do when you put it inside your body. It was so hard to watch. He was sick. He became ill when he didn't have it.
I waited for someone to come take the car and went back inside the building. It was late afternoon, heading towards evening. It had been a warm day and was still really pleasant. The sun wouldn't start going down for a couple hours yet. I needed to quickly change back into my clerk uniform before I got back to work.
We'd walked around, but the hike wasn't that difficult. I didn't need a shower before I did. I got to the desk, seeing Makani sitting there on the phone. I waved, walking around the desk to sit beside her and see whether I'd gotten any messages before I went to the changing room.
"Could you please hold?" she asked the person she was talking to. "Joseph asked me to tell you to go see him when you got back," she whispered to me.
"Really?" I sighed.
She shrugged apologetically, turning her attention back to the person on the other end of the line. I got up and went into the back towards Joseph's office. I guessed since he had been the one who had thrown me into taking Nate on the trip, he must want to know how it had turned out. There was no hotel without guests to fill it with, but Joseph either really liked Nate, or really feared him.
An endorsement from someone like Nate Stone would probably be great for the reputation of the resort. I knew Nate’s father was really wealthy and influential; maybe he just wanted to make sure the Stones liked us. I had no problem letting Nate know about all the different stuff he could do on the island. I didn't even really mind being the one who physically drove him around to do them.
Something had happened today. He wasn't really Nate Stone to me anymore. He was Nate, just Nate who hated being called Mr. Stone. A guy, like any other I had met in my life. One who had a problem that I wanted to help him with.
I knocked at the door before going inside.
"Abby, what took you so long? Where did you go?" Joseph said. One day, he would greet me like a human being before laying into me, I thought.
"We went to Keahiakawelo."
"Did he ask you to take him there?"
"He didn't suggest anywhere. I chose it."
"You didn't ask him where he wanted to go first?" he asked.
"This is his first time on Lanai. Besides the beach, he hasn't seen the outside of his suite. Keahiakawelo is an important piece of Lanai history and culture."
"Why doesn't he know where he can visit on the island? You didn't tell him?"
"He wanted to be surprised," I said, figuring that was what it was. I knew he had the pamphlets with him telling him what he could do here. It wasn't my fault if he hadn't read them. "He had a good time."
"He did?"
"Yeah," I said. "He even said he wanted me to take him somewhere again on Sunday."
"Where?" he asked.
I felt like he was my parent, giving me the third degree before he let me go to a party with all my friends. I didn't know where; I hadn't thought of anywhere yet. He'd liked Keahiakawelo, so maybe somewhere like that.
"I'll ask him ahead of time so he can pick," I said, thinking it would be a good way to get Joseph to stop asking me questions. He nodded.
"I'm trusting you with this, Abby," he said. "It's your job to make sure he has a good time during his stay here. He is a person whose positive recognition would mean a lot of good things for the resort."
"I understand. He's an important guest. I won't let you down."
"Did he say anything about the hotel?" he asked hopefully. I shrugged.
"He mentioned he liked the suite when he checked in," I said. "He hasn't said anything was lacking, so I'd say he was pretty satisfied." If the presidential suite wasn't enough for the guy, then I didn’t know what would be. He seemed comfortable. The man barely left his rooms, if that was an indication of how much he liked it.
"Whatever he needs, Abby," Joseph stressed. I nodded smiling. He had to be a little more careful with what he was asking me; this was cutting it a little close for workplace decency. I was answering directly to Joseph when it came to Nate now. A lot was at stake, probably my job if I really messed up.
Helping Nate was important to me, too. I’d been so upset about taking him out today that I hadn’t realized what he had agreed to let me do. He was letting me help him. He was letting me take him out of his luxury prison of a suite and see that there were bigger things than his addiction. That was more important than whether he liked the kind of pillows the hotel used on his bed. It didn't matter if he thought the hotel was heaven on earth because he was still extremely ill.
"Of course. I won't let you down," I assured Joseph before he let me leave. I hurried to get changed and put my hair up before returning to the front desk.
"What did he want?" Makani asked as I came behind the desk and took my seat.
"He was just asking about Nate. He's worried about whether he's having a good time."
"I thought he was just a guy in a band. Why does Joseph care so much? Is he a fan, too?" I laughed imagining Joseph a screaming fanboy for Remus. Him enjoying their music wouldn't have shocked me that much. Their latest album had rocked the charts; they obviously had a huge fan base.
"Yes, he is just a guy in a band, but his father is an extremely wealthy, influential man on the mainland. Just think, if he, on the recommendation of his son, came here and loved it, he could base himself here when he comes to Hawaii."
"I guess," she said thinking about it. "For your sake, I hope this season flies by."
"He isn't that bad," I said. "In fact, he's pretty nice."
"Nice, huh? So you had a good time on your date?" she asked.
"It was not a date."
"Of course, it was. He asked for you specifically. He wanted to get you somewhere alone, and he knew that that was the best way."
"He's an important guest at this hotel, and Joseph needs to make sure he's well catered for."
"Uh-huh," she said, grinning at me. "You love this guy. What happened, was he an ass?"
"We're not talking about Nate anymore," I said to her, changing the subject. "But if you have to know, we had a good time."
"Did he like Keahiakawelo?"
"He thought it was cool. Good call."
"Was it busy?"
"Just a few other people," I said.
We had almost been completely alone. I didn't want to call it a date, though. Makani didn't know how close she was to hitting the nail on the head. The longer we were there together, the more relaxed and playful Nate had gotten, which had been the exact thing that I had wanted to happen. We weren’t going on dates. Perhaps taking him out on excursions was my job now, but he was still a person who needed help.
If I could get him to forget, maybe he’d remember when he wasn’t like that and didn’t need drugs. Nate Stone of Remus fame wasn’t the guy in the Hulopoe suite. He was the guy that this Nate needed to be for his for his job, for the public.
I liked him, but he didn’t need another person to like him. He needed someone to help him. I needed to remember that if I was going to be that person.
Makani's commute from her place in the city to the hotel was about fifteen minutes by car, not that bad, but mine was a walk down to the beach for about the same amount of time. She had parked her car by my place that morning when she'd come in so we could walk up together.
She was now on my bed, waiting for me to bring the food out. I felt like I hadn't really had that much time with her since I had been on tour guide duty with Nate.
I had cobbled together a bunch of leftovers into what I hoped was a passable fried rice. I grabbed the two plates and joined her. Since we’d talked about Nate at work already, she hadn’t brought him up again. Not that I needed help not thinking about him, but I wished I could tell her about what I had seen him doing. It wasn’t my truth to tell, so I wasn’t going to, but it wasn’t looking forward to trying to keep the secret.
"I had some eggs in the fridge, so I just threw them in there, too,” I said, handing her a plate.
"Great. Can I ask you something?" she asked me.
"Of course." I settled on the bed next to her.
"Do you think I made a mistake leaving Keno?"
"Did something happen?"
She sighed, shoveling some food onto her fork and spilling it off. "This is so dumb. I saw him during the day; he had gone into the changing room to get another shirt or something. There was this woman, a guest who stopped him when he came back out. They were talking in the front lobby before they left together to go back to the bar. I know we aren't together anymore, and he can talk to whoever he wants, but I just thought as more time passed that it would get easier for me. Not worse."
"You still have feelings for him," I said.
"I think I just miss what we had: being with someone. It was nice. Comfortable," she said, deflecting. "We were together for a long time."
"Are you sure it's the relationship and not the person you had it with?"
"We can't get back together," she said dismissively. Was that what she was thinking about? I hadn't even mentioned it.
"I think you're the only person on the island who thinks that," I said.
"We broke up for a reason."
"I know you did, but that doesn't mean it can't still hurt."
"I just couldn't do what he was asking me," she said.
"Yes, you could have, Makani," I said. She looked up at me.
"What?"
"Yes, you could."
"He was talking marriage, a family. He couldn't ask me to give my life up to do that with him."
"But he asked you. He wasn't trying to force you into something you didn't want," I said. "He wasn't chasing you. It wasn't like a deal breaker for him if you weren't in the same place as he was."
"Have you talked to him about this?" she asked accusatorily.
"No, but both of you still need closure."
"I keep thinking that the next time I see him, I won't feel overwhelmed and he'll be just another guy to me," she said sadly.
"Did you ever think about what he asked you?" I asked.
"Of course, I thought about it. We talked about it. He would drop hints sometimes that he had been thinking about he and I together for the long term. Married with kids," she said, her face frowning slightly.
"You couldn't see that, too?"
"I could, but I can't do that, Abby. I'm twenty-two; he's had longer to think about this than I have. He's had longer to live his life and be independent than I have. It wasn't fair."
"Did you want it?" I asked.
She shrugged her shoulders. "I feel like I've been on my own so long, doing that with Keno would be like I was packing it in. Settling."
"It doesn't make you a weak person to want to be in a relationship. You can't be scared about what you feel for him."
"I need to feel like I’m with somebody because I want to be. Not because I need to be or because they want me to be and I’m just trying to make them happy.”
“Talk to the guy. He would listen to you. I can’t take any more of those awful conversations you two pretend to have while trying not to look at each other.”
“Do you think I lost something good?”
"I think staying away from Keno is making you miserable. Just get back together already," I said playfully. "You have so much time for me now, it's insane." She laughed.
“He’s probably seeing someone else already,” she sighed. I knew for a fact that he was not. If I went to see him tonight, he’d probably being doing exactly what she was now.
“Just promise me you’ll suck it up and at least talk to him.” She nodded, agreeing she would. We ate the rest of our dinner chatting. She always gave really good advice. I wondered what she would have said to me about Nate. I didn’t like keeping secrets from her.
I asked her whether she wanted to stay over, but she said she’d just see me the next day. I cleaned up a little, washing dishes and tidying the kitchen before I got my laptop out. Fresh air and sunshine wasn’t all that was going to cure Nate. I had been thinking about what I was going to do to help him all day.
I sat on my bed wondering where to start. I started slow, searching “drug addiction.” About an hour later, I had five pages of symptoms, withdrawal, risks, and treatment options that I could print out when I got to work the next day.