Chapter Thirty-Three
Aiden
I became aware of my aching bones as I woke up on the hard floor. My mother’s Aubusson rug did nothing for padding the hard tile beneath it, and I missed the discomfort of the prissy ass sofa. Footsteps had roused me, and I opened one eye to see that Mattie was tiptoeing around me, carefully gathering discarded cans and bottles. I moaned as I rolled over and tried to stretch out my aching muscles.
“You are a pitiful sight.” Mattie stood over me with a handful of empty bottles and placed them on a tray she’d brought from the kitchen.
“Yeah, I’m sure it’s heartbreaking.” I sat up and glanced around for another beer, but my mini cooler was empty, and the ice had long melted.
“You drank the well dry.” She shook her head as a low groan escaped me.
“So, I’ll get more.” I stumbled to my feet, climbing over the side of the sofa and planting my ass on it.
“You can’t even walk. How are you going to drive? You need to sober your ass up and get over that lawsuit. You should consider it a win, from what I heard. The judge didn’t give those vultures half of what they wanted.”
She was right. Things had worked out well in my favor, though any amount given was too much for those people. Knowing Lexa was one of them was too much to handle.
“I slept it off, and the lawsuit isn’t the reason I’m drinking.”
“You gonna tell me why, then.”
“Nope.” I wasn’t budging.
Mattie walked around the table and sat next to me. “You’re not too sharp for a lawyer. That wasn’t a question, son. You are going to tell me why you’re drinking.” She searched my eyes. “Does this have anything to do with Lexa?” I cringed as she spoke the name. “Oh yeah. That’s what this is all about.”
“She lied to me.”
“You’re drinking like this over a woman who lied?” She gave me a sideward look and shook her head. She wasn’t buying it.
“It wasn’t some simple lie. All this time I think I’m dating Lexa Lively and her real name is Alexandra Patterson.” I met her eyes and her widened. She clutched the beads around her neck and muttered sweet Jesus.
“She’s related to Shawn? And, you didn’t know it?”
“His sister. I knew he had a sister, but I hadn’t ever met her. Hell, I was just getting to know Shawn.”
“That’s some kind of betrayal. What was her game?” Mattie’s eyes narrowed, and her mouth turned down.
“She says nothing. She met me and liked me and didn’t know how to tell me. How about just tack it on during all those conversations we had about my family dying and the lawsuit?” I let out a long breath, and Mattie placed her hand on my arm.
“You’re in love with that girl.”
“Yeah, and look where that got me: right back where I started, except now I get to feel worse.”
“I imagine she’s feeling pretty bad, too. You know, losing her brother wasn’t easy. Maybe you filled something for her. Maybe she got in over her head and didn’t know what to do.” I didn’t want to hear her defend Lexa.
“You’re supposed to be on my side.” I folded my arms and leaned back.
“I am always on your side, baby boy. Don’t you ever forget that. But you’ve got to try and understand all sides of this if you’re ever going to get past it and move on.”
“I’m hoping I can forget about her. So far, I’m failing miserably.”
“You’re not going to quit loving her. Love doesn’t work that way. It might turn bitter and wither, but the roots remain. You can either tend to them and let things blossom, or you can ignore them and let them lay dormant, but you’re going to have to do something.”
“Yeah, great options, Mattie. Thanks a lot.” I stood, but she grabbed my arm to stop me.
“I’ll tell you a little secret I learned a long time ago. Sometimes if you tend those roots, you find that love grows stronger. You ever notice how after we have a hurricane, those old trees that don’t break, they just come back lusher the next year? They’re fuller, stronger, and able to withstand whatever life throws at them.”
I understood what she was trying to say, but I wasn’t one of those trees that had survived the storm. I’d been splintered by a tornado, shaken and ripped apart and left in shreds.
“Thanks, Mattie.” It was all I could say to get away from her. I didn’t feel like a talk, even though her words stayed with me.
I wondered if I had helped Lexa with her grief over Shawn’s death the same way she’d helped me with all of mine. And if her parents hadn’t put her up to it, why couldn’t she have been honest so we could have leaned on each other? She’d cheated me out of being there for her, and it was just one more thing I could add to the growing list of reasons to be pissed off.
I went upstairs and stripped down to get in the shower. As I stepped under the spray, I closed my eyes and remembered Lexa naked there with me. Her arms were tied up, her tight nipples, hard as pebbles, tipping her soft breasts, and the perfect clef that was decorated by her trimmed tuft of hair. She was perfect. A perfect mess.
I made busy with the soap and then stood back under the spray to rinse wishing it was as easy to wash away my feelings for her. It could have been so perfect. If she had been the Lexa I thought she was, the one I’d fallen in love with.
I got out and stood in the mirror, looking at my mug. I’d shaved off my beard for court, and now I had a nice shadow as it attempted to return. I grabbed my razor and smoothed it down — no need to go back to who I had been, at least not with the beard.
I threw on some jeans and a faded tee and headed out to drown some more feelings. Despite going back to get my truck, I hadn’t managed to apologize to Glen yet, and he meant too much to me to let that go on too long. I’d been a real dick, and there was no excuse.
On my way, when I had gotten up on the interstate, I noticed a little red Camaro about three cars ahead. There was only one person it could be. My heart did a flip, and I sped up to get behind her. She had to have been headed to work, but she didn’t notice me. I wondered what it would be like if we’d never met. I only came up with two words: sad and easier.
I took the next exit, even though it wasn’t the one I needed. I knew if I didn’t, I’d follow her all the way to the hospital. She didn’t need a stalker.
Inside Jay’s Pub, people lined the walls and crowded around tables for a pool tournament, and when Glen saw me, he went the other way. I couldn’t blame him, but at least my stool was still empty. I walked across the room and parked myself in my usual spot and knocked against the counter. Glen took his time, but finally made his way over and placed my beer in front of me.
“How’s it going?” His usual enthusiasm for me was gone.
“I owe you an apology and a thank you. You’ve been a good friend, and I was an asshole. I’m sorry, and thanks for looking out for me.”
“You hear from your girl?”
I released a long breath. He didn’t have to refer to her as my girl. “She isn’t mine anymore.”
“So if I wanted to date her, you’d have no problem with that?” He gave me a wink, and I got the point.
“Nah, it’s done. And just to be sure of it, I scared her away.” At least, I had tried my damnedest.
“Yeah.” He glanced up and gave a wink to a girl at the nearest table. I recognized her, and instantly my back stiffened. The girl got up and approached as I turned and gave Glen a glare.
“I was wondering when I’d find you here.”
“And, your name was?” I wondered if she had given a fake name, as well.
“Bre Lively, at your service.” She took the stool next to me as I laughed.
“Lively, right. So that’s her game. Give her best friend’s name? Let me guess; it’s an old college trick?” The girl grinned, and I got a good look at her outfit. She was dressed down, unlike the time I’d seen her before, and I could only imagine it was to fit in better with the part of town — but then the tattoo peeking out of her bra that was already peeking out of her loose top made me wonder if she was right at home.
“Look, I came to talk. Lexa told me what happened when she gave you a ride home.” She narrowed her eyes then glanced over to the table where a guy had sat, a guy that she most likely came with.
“Your friend?” I wondered if he was supposed to intimidate me. Nice try. The guy looked like a college gamer kid someone inflated with a bicycle pump.
“Yeah, that’s my boyfriend, Daniel. I wasn’t going to show up alone in this dive.” She glanced up to Glen and seemed to breathe a sigh of relief that he hadn’t heard her.
“I get it. You’re here to tell me to stay away from her. Don’t worry; I’m moving on.” I took a long pull from my beer and then ran my finger through the ring it left on the bar.
“Actually, I’m here to encourage you to hear her out. You’ve got it all wrong about her.” I went to cut her off, but she held up a hand. “She messed up; she knows it. I even told her how fucked up it was. She was going to tell you for a while now, but she was terrified she’d lose you.”
“Yeah, well, she’ll get over it. I have.” I downed the rest of my beer, chugging it down in three long gulps, and then knocked my knuckles for another.
“Yeah, you’re looking real refreshed. Nice face, by the way. I was wondering what was hiding behind that hedge you had on your chin. Now I can see why Lexa was so attracted, though the bags you’ve got under those eyes of yours aren’t much of a turn on.”
“Are you finished?” I was growing bored with her already. “I’m trying to enjoy a drink and go on with my life.”
“You’re as fucked up as she is and you’re hurting just as much. Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love her.”
I searched her eyes, and I had to admire her. She wasn’t going to shut up, and then she threw a challenge out to boot. I looked her right in the eyes and forced a smile. “It doesn’t matter if I do.”
“Yes, it does.” She shook her head and got to her feet, and then her and her boyfriend, who gave me the stink eye as he stood, walked out.
I wasn’t about to give in now. I’d told Lexa to stay away, and it was for the best. I didn’t have to admit my love to Bre. Who was she to even come here and ask me to do so? All she’d done was make me feel worse.
I didn’t like thinking about Lexa having a hard time, but she’d brought it on herself. It wasn’t like things could ever be the same again anyway.
I turned back to the bar and downed another cold one.