Chapter Eleven
Archer
I woke up to a silent house and started making my bed, smoothing out the creases and tucking the ends underneath my mattress. There was a strand of long blond hair sitting next to the pillow. I snatched it up and threw it away.
The boys had been calm. The night before, Andrew woke up, but his brother didn’t, which made it easier for me to get him back to bed. Other than that, there were no disturbances. I was alone with the images that kept racing through my head.
I saw her rolling around under me, her mouth open, her head back as I rolled through her. I’d become a musician, playing her like an instrument, sending a chorus of adrenaline slamming through her veins while I watched, my cock so hard I thought it was ready to explode. I was torturing myself. There was no way she’d want to see me after the way I acted when I dropped her off.
That was the point. I couldn’t kiss her goodnight and promise her the world. She had to think that there was no chance of us ever getting together. Otherwise, she’d just end up getting hurt when she found out that things couldn’t go any further. She didn’t deserve that. She needed a good man who could give her all of his time and energy, somebody who could spoil her and appreciate her in a way I simply didn’t have time for.
I walked out of the bathroom and pulled on my shirt, trying not to think about the way she’d looked at me before she got out of the car, like I’d just slapped her in the face. I seduced her and used her, then threw her away like she was nothing. Now I had to live with that.
There was a knock on my door. I climbed into my pants and hopped over to answer it. It was Mona.
“Good morning.” She strode inside my bedroom and took a look around like she was expecting the room to be destroyed from a night of animalistic sex. Disappointed, she took a seat at the desk chair in the corner.
I grabbed my shoes out of the closet, my back turned, and sat on the bed. I couldn’t look at her. The woman was far too perceptive. She’d see the shame in my eyes the second I lifted my head. “How’s your morning going?” I asked to ease some of the tension.
“What did you do?”
“What are you talking about?” I slipped into my shoes.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t hurt that girl.”
“Better to do it now before she gets hurt even worse.”
“But you feel bad, don’t you?”
“Dammit, I do.” I threw my other shoe against the wall.
“Does she hate you now?”
“Probably.” I grabbed my shoe and started putting it on.
“What happened?”
“I took her home that night. Then when I dropped her off, I gave her the cold shoulder.”
“But you want to hear from her again, don’t you?”
“Nothing can come of it.” I got up and grabbed my laptop.
“Then forget about it.” She followed me out into the hall. “If nothing could come of it, then it shouldn’t matter, right? She’s just another hole.”
“A hole?” I turned around to face Mona at the top of the stairs. “No, she’s…”
Mona smiled. “See, you don’t like me saying that, do you? You’re defensive because you know I’m right.”
“Don’t do this to me. It won’t work.”
“Call her, Archer.” She disappeared into the nursery.
I took out my phone when I got outside, hoping to distract myself with work, but the screen was blank. I kept expecting it to go off on my way to work, but things were slow. The Navy had already taken over the testing of the Hawkeye, and I was still waiting on Rick to build his sensor. The other projects we had were long term, so I didn’t have to worry about them. I had briefings sent directly to my mailbox at the office.
Normally, I would’ve welcomed a quiet morning, but I didn’t feel comfortable in my skin. I felt dirty, like I’d done something wrong, and in a way, I had. Zoe and I had clicked, but instead of taking advantage of that, I screwed her and dropped her back at home.
We were so much alike. All she cared about were her ambitions and making something of herself. She was nothing like the freeloading gold-diggers I’d dated in the past. She didn’t care about what I could buy her or how much was in my bank account. For a rich man like me, a girl like that is a once in a lifetime opportunity, not somebody I could throw away like a dirty rag.
Halfway to the base, I pulled out my phone again. I could call her, but what would I say? She didn’t want to hear from me after the way that I acted. Still, there was a chance she’d listen, and that was worth the risk.
When the car dropped me back at the office, I snuck in and locked the door so I could get a moment of peace. I had to be realistic about this. Nothing was going to happen. If I called her, I’d be leading her on. But I couldn’t just walk away after Saturday night. Zoe was my heroin. The second I got a taste, I had to have more. One night wasn’t enough.
I wasn’t sure how she’d react to me calling her. If she had any sense at all, she’d hang up and never talk to me again. She probably would. The woman wasn’t stupid. But there was still a possibility that she’d answer and give me another chance. I felt terrible, like I was planning somebody’s murder. It wasn’t worth taking the risk and hurting her, but how could I possibly resist?
There was a knock at my door. “Come in.”
Rick strode in. “Tell me you had a good weekend.” He took a seat at my desk.
“I don’t know.” I looked down at my phone.
“What do you mean you don’t know? You either did, or you didn’t.”
“It’s more complicated than that. It was an amazing night. She’s a great lay, but in the end, I just had to drop her off like she was a hooker or something. I think it got to her.”
“Don’t get sentimental about this kind of thing. It’s just one woman.”
“I mean it, Rick. I really feel terrible about it. I think I’m gonna give her a call and apologize.”
“No, man. That’s the last thing you wanna do. Before you know it, she’ll be hitting you up for cash. What you need is another good night to get your mind off her. You don’t want to get caught up with the first girl you see.”
“I want her.”
“You’re gonna have to find a way to forget about it.” He got up to leave. “The Navy’s launching the Hawkeye later on. Thought I’d check to see if you wanted to come down.”
“No, I’ve got work to do here.”
“All right. Next time you wanna head out, just let me know.”
“Thanks.” He made it sound easy, like I could just dip my cock into somebody else and forget that Zoe ever existed. But I’d been with plenty of women. Half the time I was just going through the motions out of boredom. There was no thrill there, no magic, not like with Zoe. I couldn’t forget a night like that, and I couldn’t let things be after the way I acted. That wouldn’t be right. I had to talk to her. Maybe, if I did this right, she’d understand that I wasn’t just some prick looking for a hole to put my dick into.