Chapter 25
Colton
“Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin’ chairs.”
~ Papa Duke
Cara could barely sit still beside me in my truck as we drove to Bella’s. And she’d been talking a mile a minute since I picked her up after I’d gotten the thumbs up, green light text. Literally, that is what Bella had texted me. A thumb sticking up, a stoplight that was lit green, and a smiling face with all the teeth showing beside it.
I’m trying to up my emoji game, she texted. But if you don’t know what that meant, it means you can come over now. She’s excited to see you and Cara, if she’s wants to come
Cara turned towards me and put her hands out. “You know I don’t have to come with you. I can meet her later. Like tonight or tomorrow.”
I thought it was sweet that Cara kept saying that. I appreciated the fact that she hadn’t insisted on coming. But, the truth was, I wanted her to.
Even though, I hated to admit it, I was nervous.
“Did I tell you that I called her Cara when I met her?”
That’s why I’d frozen when I saw her. She was the spitting image of Cara when Cara was young. It was more than déjà vu, it was like staring at Cara 2.0.
Cara swatted me playfully on my arm. “You did not.”
“Yes, I did. I was so in shock. She looks exactly like you. Seriously.”
“Really?” Cara clutched her hands to her heart. “She looks like me?”
“Yeah, it’s uncanny.”
“What else did you say to her?”
Cara must’ve asked me a thousand questions over the past day. Some of them I knew the answers to, some of them I didn’t. This one I did. “Not a whole lot.”
She was quiet, and since that was unusual for Cara, especially when she was excited, I looked to the side and found her looking at me but not saying anything.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“You’re a dad,” she said quietly.
“I know.” I nodded and looked back on the road. “I’m a dad.”
Those were words I thought I’d get around nine months to get used to saying beforehand. And I thought then it would be a baby not a pre-teen.
“You’re going to be a great dad.”
I wasn’t so sure, but again, I appreciated her support. “I hope so.”
“I know so.” She patted my arm.
“You’re going to be a great mom.”
“I hope so.” I thought she was just repeating what I said to be a smart ass, but when I looked over at her, she was looking down at her belly which she was covering with her hands.
“I know so.” I repeated earnestly as we pulled into the driveway.
I hit the same pothole as I had yesterday and it hit me how much had changed in the past day. Yesterday I was just driving Bella home, today I had a daughter.
I pulled the truck to a stop and we both got out. She followed me to the kitchen door around the side. My heart was pounding so loud I could hear it in my ears as I lifted my hand to knock. Before I did, the door opened.
“Hey.” Bella smiled brightly. “Come on in.”
She stepped to the side and Cara pulled her into her arms for a quick hug.
“Where is she?” Cara asked as soon as she let Bella go. “Where’s my niece?”
“Upstairs.” Bella called out. “Ladybug, they’re here!”
I heard footsteps running on the hardwood upstairs and they were almost as fast as my heart was beating. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. This was a good thing, but I felt like I was going to throw up. Even Bella’s presence wasn’t calming me down.
Shaking my head slightly, I let out a huff of breath.
Bella must’ve noticed, because her fingers wrapped around my forearm and she leaned close and said quietly, “It’s okay. She already loves you.”
I nodded just as Sadie appeared at the bottom of the stairs.
“Hi.” She lifted her arm in a small wave as she stepped into the kitchen.
She seemed smaller, younger than she had the day before. Yesterday when I’d seen her, I’d been in shock. But today, today I knew I was looking at my daughter. She was so beautiful.
I felt a sharp elbow my side from Cara. She’d been doing that since we were kids, and I hated it, but it did snap me out of my momentary muteness.
“Sorry,” I shook my head again and smiled. “You’re just so beautiful.”
“Of course, she is. She looks just like her aunt. Hi, sweetie, I’m Cara.” Cara stepped forward and like she had with Bella, pulled Sadie into her arms. Sadie smiled from ear to ear and hugged her back.
When they parted, Cara studied her face as she said, “It really is like looking in a mirror.”
Sadie smiled even bigger and then turned to me.
I stood there, silent, wishing I knew what to say. But, I had no idea where to even start. So instead, I held out my arms. Large teardrops formed in her eyes right before she ran the few steps to me and threw herself against me.
Yesterday, I’d thought that Bella was going to suffocate her, she was hugging her so tight, and today I understood why.
As I held her in my arms, all I could think was that when Cara was born, I thought that I could never love anyone as much as I loved my baby sister. Then I met Bella and thought there was no way I could love anything as much as her. But now, having Sadie in my arms, I understood that I hadn’t even begun to understand the love my heart was capable of.
She owned me.