SHOCK CONSUMED ME AS I stood out on the sidewalk staring down the road. I couldn’t believe what just happened. Of all the scenarios I imagined of me telling him about Remi, that was definitely not one of them. And what did he mean I replaced him? I had wanted to arrange a time to talk to him and explain. I wanted to introduce Remi to her daddy. I just thought… shit, I don’t know what I thought.
I turned and re-entered the bar in a daze. I walked back to the table where Remi sat with Mama eating a plate of chicken nuggets and fries. “Thank you for sitting with her.” Mama looked up at me with concern as I dropped into the seat across from them. As I stared at my shaking hands resting loosely together on the table, my mind felt like it was circling and I was fighting to keep the heavy tears pooling in my eyes from falling.
Mama reached a small, but strong, hand over and placed it on top of mine, squeezing them in a reassuring manner.
“I only heard a little of the situation back here but enough to know you and Reaper have some things to talk about and work out, hon. I think maybe what I wanted to talk to you about can wait. You have a lot on your plate right now.” She patted my hands and began to pull away, but I caught her hand and met her gaze as I choked back my tears.
“No, Mama, I’m good.” I sniffed and smiled a wobbly smile. “Really. Please, talk to me. Is everything okay? I’ll do what I can to help you if there is something you need.”
“Ummm, well.” She took a deep breath. “I was going to talk to you about taking over the Oasis. Pops and I have been talking about ‘retiring’ so we can travel more while we’re still able, and I can’t let just anyone take over the Oasis… It’s the only baby I’ve ever had besides those boys. You are part of this town, Steph, and you grew up with the Oasis. When you told me what you went to school for, well….” She trailed off.
Well, that was the last thing I expected. I thought maybe she needed help with reorganization or menus or something. I didn’t know what to say. The wheels in my head started spinning at about 200 mph as my mouth flopped, open and shut like a damn fish but I couldn’t help myself. Mama took in my expression and burst out in her raspy, raucous laugh.
“Girl, you look like the little bass I caught last week out at the lake! We can talk more later. You just think on it.” She started to leave the booth.
“Wait! Mama, I don’t know. I mean, what I meant to say was I don’t have that kind of money. I wouldn’t know where to begin! I… well… I’m so flattered, but I’m so… wow.” I was scrambling for words as unbidden ideas for the bar popped in my head one after the other.
“Well, we could probably work something out. You know the club takes care of their own, and the way I see it, after the bit I heard earlier, little Miss Remi here is a connection of the club, whether you like it or not. You give that boy time to cool off and then talk to him. He’s usually a quiet one, but he has a level head. He’ll come around.” At the sound of her name, Remi looked up with a mouthful of chicken nugget and shouted, “Wemi!” patting herself on the chest.
We both laughed as I hugged her close and kissed the top of her dark, silky curls.
Mama and I spent the next hour or more going over thoughts and plans for how I could take over the Oasis. The more we talked and the more I thought about it, the thought of coming home just felt right. A warmth begun at my very core and was spreading outward.
We had decided that, if I could come up with a down payment, we could draw up a contract where I could make monthly payments to her and I would have the option to refinance the bar when I was able. I could make changes to the bar menu and I could remodel as long as the changes met Mama’s approval until it was refinanced in my name. The longer we sat talking, the more excited I was to go home and discuss the opportunity with my parents.
I began ticking off everything in my life that needed to be addressed. My apartment was on a month-to-month lease because I had been there past my one-year-lease term and I hadn’t gotten around to signing a new lease to lock in my rent. I could turn in my notice at work and pack while I worked out my days at the restaurant. I didn’t really have a lot to pack, and I was pretty sure everything would fit in my SUV and a small trailer if I could get a one-way rental.
Colton was furious with me, and though it ripped out my heart, I really didn’t expect him to ever forgive me. I just prayed he would come around and want to be a daddy to Remi. He and I set aside, Remi deserved to have her mommy and her daddy in her life. I knew if we were able to sit down and talk, we could work out a visitation schedule. He wouldn’t really need to interact with me unless it had to do with Remi’s care or future. My chest ached as if there was a gaping hole where my heart had been at the thought of being so close to him and yet not being able to touch him and be with him. Fate was a cruel bitch.
My phone pinged with a message as Remi and I pulled up in front of my parents’ house. When I saw the message was from Colton, my heart gave a lurch. I opened the message with shaking hands.
Colton: We need to talk. Tonight. Meet me at the Oasis. Dress for a ride.
Oh shit. I closed my eyes, trying to gain control of my raging emotions, before I quickly stamped out a reply.
Me: I’ll see what I can do.
Gathering Remi from the car, I carefully set her on her feet and held her until I knew she had her balance. Hand in hand, we walked across the brick-paved sidewalk to the steps that she took one at a time. As I opened the door, she pulled her hand from mine and ran into the house shouting, “Gama! Gampa!” I couldn’t help my sad smile as I heard her squeal as my dad must have tickled or teased her. I hung my keys on the hooks by the door, took my shoes off, lining them up neatly on the mat inside the door… anything to delay the conversation I needed to have with my parents.
Taking a deep fortifying breath, I walked down the short hall to the kitchen where I could hear the murmur of Remi’s chatter and my parents’ responses to her. I stopped in the doorway, leaning on the doorframe, absorbing the domestic warmth that always emanated from my mother’s kitchen. My parents both looked up at me from the table where they sat having coffee. Remi sat in my dad’s lap, and he was letting her scoop sugar in his cup as he directed her on how much and prepared to catch her hand if she spilled. After my dad took the spoon from her, setting it on a folded napkin, Remi leaned back into my dad and rubbed her eyes as her Cupid’s bow mouth stretched in a little yawn.
“I’m going to lay this one down for a short nap. If you both have a minute, there are some things I need to talk to you both about.”
“Of course, honey. We’ll be right here when you’re done.” My mom gave Remi a wave and blew her a kiss as I carried her out to the living room where we had set up a pack-and-play for her naps. I lay her down, tucking her snuggle blankie and her favorite stuffed elephant up under her chin. Dang, she was barely fitting in the thing anymore! My baby girl was getting so big. She rubbed her face in the blankie and her eyes drifted closed. Our day out wore her clean out.
I returned to the kitchen and sat at the table. Feeling the need to do something with my hands, I started twisting a napkin. I had a hard time meeting either of my parents’ eyes as I began to recite the same conversation I had with my brother earlier today, telling them about Michael and Colton, but also adding the conversation I had with Mama earlier. By the time I had finished, I had bits of napkin in a pile in front of me on the table and tears running down my cheeks and neck, soaking the collar of my tee shirt. My parents had yet to say a word. I hesitantly looked up at them and my dad reached out for me, pulling me from my chair, rocking me in his lap and hugging me tight in his arms like I remembered him doing when I was young. My mom reached over, rubbing her hand on my back in a soothing manner.
My dad spoke first.
“Stephanie, I wish you had told us all this when you were pregnant and everyone was beating you up about being selfish. We could have tried to help you better if we had known the truth. I know your brothers and I were hard on you back then, and I’m sorry for that. So sorry. We love you. We want what’s best for you, and while we would have preferred things to work out in a different order for you, we wouldn’t trade that little girl out there for the world. She was the best gift you could have given any of us.” He looked at my mother, seeming to have a conversation without words.
I told them that Colton wanted to talk to me tonight and asked if they would mind watching Remi again. They assured me it was no trouble and agreed it was best to talk to him and get things sorted out ASAP.
“Why don’t you go wash your face with cool water and lie down for a bit? I want to talk to your mother about a few things, and we can talk again tonight, okay?”
I nodded, then after accepting a kiss from my mom, I trudged upstairs, skipping the bathroom and collapsing on my bed. God, how had my life become such a train wreck?