MUCH TO EVERYONE AT the restaurant’s surprise and disappointment, I had turned in my notice. It was a sad moment for me as well, but I knew there were amazing things waiting on my horizon. I had been packing like a fiend all week too. Remi’s room was mostly packed—I hadn’t realized how much that little girl had! She had more clothes than I did! Sheesh!—and I was trying to go through her baby stuff to donate the items she had outgrown.
All of the stuff in the kitchen was packed. Well, all the stuff I wouldn’t use over the next week, anyway. I had left out a single place setting for myself, a couple of pans, a bowl, and a cup. There wasn’t much in the living room, and my brothers would help me with the big stuff like my couch and TV stand. I hadn’t really acquired a lot of furniture over the last few years, which would help make the move a little easier.
I sat down to watch a movie with a bowl of popcorn. It was Friday night and I was taking a break from packing to just relax and chill. My phone rang like clockwork at 8:30 p.m. Reaper would make a point to have Remi call me after he had her dropped off at my parents and she was ready for bed. I smiled as I picked it up and answered.
“Hi Mommy! Wemi go to bed. At Daddy’s house! Miss you, Mommy. Daddy talk. Nigh-night!” Those were the main points I caught of her conversation which was interspersed with nonsensical toddler babble. It was hard not to laugh when she was trying so hard to sound big. I heard a rustling and pattering feet along with a muffled “I’ll be there to tuck you in shortly, princess” before his deep, sexy voice came on the phone.
“Hey, baby. Everything okay with you? I guess you heard Remi is staying with me tonight? I really hope you don’t mind. I probably should have discussed it with you first. I didn’t really think about that until I had already spoken to your parents and made the plans.” He was rambling about as much as his daughter had, and I was pretty sure he was worried about my response. I wasn’t really sure how I felt. I hoped everyone would behave tonight, because I didn’t want my daughter exposed to the sort of things I saw on Sunday.
“Ummm, yeah. Are you sure it’s a good idea to have her there though? I don’t want that Gretchen bitch near her.” My hackles were rising. I didn’t even know that wench, but I sure as hell didn’t like the way she had tried to start trouble between us. I especially didn’t want to think about what he may have done with her before. That made me a little nauseous.
“Well, about that… We’re not at the clubhouse.”
“You’re not? Where are you then? Did you get a hotel?” Please, God, let him have her somewhere safe. Not that I didn’t trust him with her, but I knew he wasn’t used to making child-centered choices yet.
“No… I actually wanted it to be a surprise to you, but…” I heard a shuffling as he moved the phone around. “Well, I bought a house. I was hoping you would give me some feminine pointers on some of the decorating and remodeling. I wasn’t going to say anything until you came back. I guess I didn’t plan on Big-Mouth-Magee spilling the beans.” He gave a nervous laugh. “Are you mad? It’s clean, I promise.”
“I’m a little shocked, I guess. But, no, I’m not mad at all. I just didn’t expect you to leave the guys at the clubhouse. I thought you liked being close to them.” Absently, I flicked pieces of popcorn around the bowl. I missed Remi something fierce. It had pretty much been her and me against the world for the last couple of years, so I was a little jealous on top of missing her. I was also really missing her daddy, but I didn’t know if he wanted to hear that. I heard Remi holler “Daddy!” in the background.
“Baby, can I call you back? I want to talk to you, but our princess is waiting for me. I won’t be long.”
I agreed and ended the call. My head was spinning. Wow. He bought a house? Whoa. I was impressed and surprised. He really was taking his new daddy role seriously. I began to imagine what sort of house he would choose as I waited for him to call back. Probably something close to the shop and clubhouse in case he was needed. It would definitely need a garage big enough for his bike, and probably his truck. I hadn’t realized I had eaten the entire bowl of popcorn until I noticed I was pushing seeds around trying to find more popcorn. I got up and placed the bowl in the sink and refilled my water. I had just sat on the couch when my phone started to ring again.
“Hey you! That was quick,” I said without looking at the phone. The answer was silence. “Hello? Hellooooooo?” I looked at my phone, thinking he must have a bad signal and lost the call. Unknown caller. Weird. I rarely got those calls anymore. “Hello?” Nothing. So I hung up. Must have been a wrong number. I thought I heard my doorknob rattle then, but it must have been my imagination or someone bumped it as they carried stuff down the hall, because I never heard anything else after that.
It rang again and this time Colton Sex God popped up on my caller ID. I chuckled as I blushed, remembering entering him into my contacts like that after the birthday bash. I hadn’t thought to change it, but I probably should before he saw it. Talk about embarrassing. Lordy!
“Hello there, good looking,” I said in a sultry phone-sex-line voice, teasing him. I heard him chuckle and then groan softly.
“Shit, baby, don’t do that to me. We’re too far away for that shit, and I think my dick heard you. Thanks a lot.”
“You’re so crude,” I giggled, “and I like it.” I wiggled my eyebrows as if he could see me. Man, I’m such a dork. If he knew how many times I had touched myself imagining it was him, he would have a heyday with that. I felt my face flame with embarrassment and was glad he couldn’t see me.
“Baby, you haven’t seen crude. Facetime me and I’ll show you how crude I can be.” I could hear the lasciviousness and the smile in his voice. I also knew I looked like total crap right now and there was no way I was letting him see that!
“Uhhhhh, yeah, I don’t know if that would be a good idea. I look like poop on a stick! And what if Remi woke up and caught you? Hmmmmmm, Daddy? How would that look, you naughty boy?” I teased him, hoping it would be enough to get him to drop the Facetime thoughts. He laughed.
“I love hearing you say that. I also love hearing you call me ‘Daddy.’” He laughed. “And okay, I’ll behave. But let me Facetime you. I need to see you. I don’t care what you look like, baby.” He was not going to let this drop, so I reluctantly agreed.
Seeing his gorgeous face pop onto my phone screen made my heart lurch. This man did something to me with that smile and those dimples. I wanted to reach through and mess up his dark hair and land kisses all over his face. I wanted to run my hands through the scruff along his jawline and across his cheeks. God, I knew I was smiling like a goof.
“There’s my gorgeous girl,” he said. “Man, I have missed you. Don’t get me wrong, I love having this time with Remi, and your family has been great about it, but I kinda like having your ass around too.” He winked and I laughed.
“We aren’t even really dating. We’re just co-parenting and getting to know each other. How can you miss me?” I laughed and tried to capture some of the stray hairs that insisted on escaping my messy bun, wishing I had put a little makeup on today. “Besides, I look awful, you don’t need to fib to make me feel better.”
His face turned serious, and I thought I had said something to piss him off.
“Is that all you see us as? Really? I mean, granted, I don’t know exactly what the future holds for us, but we obviously have more than co-parenting going on. We have an amazing sexual chemistry, and we seem to get along well. How about if we reserve judgement for now? We’ll let things lie until you get back and then see where things take us. And you are absolutely fucking sexy right now, so I don’t need to ‘fib’ to make you feel good.” His grin returned, and I felt my panties melt. Jesus Nelly, that damn smile of his was a killer.
“Okay, I think that is doable… So, how is Remi doing with you? You should Facetime me with her in the morning before you take her home. God, I miss her.”
“She misses her momma too. She asks me about you every day. Damn, Stephanie, she is so fucking smart. She amazes me daily. You have done an incredible job with her. She is so good and polite. Everywhere I take her people compliment me on her behavior and manners. It makes me proud because she’s mine, but I feel guilty because I can’t really take any of the fucking credit for it. I kick myself all the fucking time for throwing out that damn piece of paper. Things could have been so different.” He ran his hand over his face in frustration. I hated seeing him beating himself up. We couldn’t live with constant woulda, coulda, shouldas. It was what it was.
“Hey! We need to stop dwelling on things we can’t change. We can only take what we have and move forward. Remi has her daddy in her life now, and I’m so happy about that. I tell myself everything happens for a reason. I don’t know why, but maybe this is the way it was supposed to be. I’m just glad you didn’t think I got pregnant on purpose or kept her from you intentionally.”
“I know you would never do that, Stephanie.” He looked at me with a serious expression. “Look, I’m still very fucked up, Steph, but I’m working on it. I’ve done some fucked up things in my life. Things I’m not going to burden you with, but they still weigh heavy on me.”
My finger reached out and caressed the edge of his face on the screen as if he were real. “Baby, it’s okay. The past is the past. We can’t change any of that. We can only move forward and work to be honest with each other from here on out. Communication is important whether we move forward with a serious relationship between us or we end up simply co-parenting.”
He looked down and pulled his lip between his teeth. “About that… The club is working on cleaning shit up, but we still aren’t perfect. I need you to understand that Remi comes first, always, but my club is important to me too. They took me in when I was at my absolute lowest. So I know I’m asking a lot, but I need you to accept that there are things that are simply club business that I just can’t talk about. It’s not about keeping secrets, it’s about the trust and rules of the club. No club business is to be discussed with civilians. No exceptions.” He took a deep breath. “I just don’t want you thinking it’s personal, or that I’m hiding things from you, and I want you to know I would never do anything to endanger Remi. Speaking of our little princess, she ate all of her lasagna for dinner tonight. But I plead the fifth on the disappearance of her outfit she was wearing at the time.” His exaggeratedly innocent expression and the way he acted like he couldn’t meet my eyes had me laughing.
“She ate lasagna? She usually only eats stinking chicken nuggets! I can’t believe you got her to eat lasagna! What did you bribe her with, or what magic are you weaving on her?” I gave him a mocking stern expression with a raised eyebrow before I couldn’t hold my smile in.
“I might have told her little girls who eat all their food sometimes get ponies for Christmas…” He looked chagrined as he had the nerve to look all wide-eyed innocence.
“You whaaaaaaaat? Oh dear Lord, we need to work on your parenting style.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I told him this. I stifled a yawn, as I didn’t want to let him go, but it had been a long day, and if I wanted to get out of here when my brothers came next week, I needed to get up early to get the rest of my stuff packed this weekend. I would only keep out the very minimum and necessary items to be packed last minute. I only planned on leaving out my uniforms for work and a couple pairs of sweats and T-shirts for home. Remi’s bed still needed to be disassembled too.
“You look tired, baby. I better let you go. Your boss isn’t treating you shitty, is he? I can make a quick trip down to kick some asses if I need to. And no sign of or issues from that dipshit, right?” He was so cute, but my job was great with me turning in my notice. They all said they would miss me, but they were happy for me.
“No, nothing from Michael,” I laughed. “I told you he wouldn’t bother me. And yes, they were fine, really. We’re all going out on Wednesday after work, as a little going-away party, sort of. I decided to take a short day on Thursday so I could be home for my brothers when they get here, and then I took off Friday. It was a slow day anyway, and they already have two people hired that are doing great so they really won’t need me Friday. But you’re right, today was crazy busy and I am a little tired.” I hated to let him go. It felt so natural to talk to him about the little random bits of my daily life.
“All right. Sweet dreams, beautiful. And yes, I will Facetime you with our baby girl in the morning. Goodnight.” I could tell by his expression he was reluctant to let me go as well. I stifled another yawn and knew I needed to sleep. I really wanted to tell him I loved him, but it made me feel nervous to say it again since he hadn’t said it since that first time.
“’Night.” We closed down Facetime and I shut the movie off. I had barely watched twenty minutes of it anyway. There was a moment’s regret that I didn’t ensure he knew how I felt before I let him go, but I told myself we had plenty of time. My eyes grew heavy as soon as I snuggled into my pillow and blanket. That night my dreams were flooded with a little family playing in the yard of their home with a snow-white pony wandering around grazing in the pasture…