I FOUND MYSELF KNOCKING on Hacker’s door first thing in the morning. Déjà vu. I just prayed it wouldn’t end the same way it did last time, ’cause fucking A, he could pack a punch. I needed his help finding this Michael motherfucker. He was going to regret laying his hands on Stephanie like he did. She may have thought I was letting this lie, but that was the farthest thing from the truth. I couldn’t stand a man who abused a woman, but he really fucked up when he hurt my woman.
Hacker answered the door in his boxers again, with a wry look.
“Reaper, man, we gotta quit meeting like this. Do you have something against a motherfucker getting some sleep?” Hacker ran a hand through his hair and briskly rubbed his face.
“Fuck, bro, put on some damn clothes. I need your help.” I brushed past him, dropping down in his recliner.
“Oh, sure. Come on in, make yourself at home, Reaper. Shit. Fuck you. What if I had company? You’re damn lucky I didn’t answer buck-ass naked, you fuck.” He walked back over to his bed, flopping down and pulling a pillow over his face.
“Man, what the fuck ever.” I laughed. I had never known this fucker to keep a bitch overnight. He fucked them, then kicked their ass out. No cuddling, no pillow talk, just wham, bam, thank you, ma’am.
“I need your help tracking down this crazy fucker who is stalking Stephanie.” My humor ended with this announcement. I looked at him, waiting for his response.
At those words, he sat straight up, the pillow falling to the side. “The fuck?”
“Yeah. I don’t know exactly what happened, but she had damn bruises on her arms and he showed up at her parents’ last night. He had her slammed against her SUV when I pulled up. I swear to fucking Christ, if her dad hadn’t stopped me, I would have fucking killed him then and there. I put a beating on him, but he hauled ass before I could go back out to finish him off. I’m glad she didn’t call the cops though, because that would have just complicated things when I find this motherfucker. You know?” I could feel my rage building just talking about that piece of shit. I had to make a conscious effort to unclench my fists.
“Dude, you can’t just go after this guy like that. And you know if Snow finds out I helped you find this guy, I’m a dead man too. You have to bring it to the table, bro. You need to think of the potential blowback on the club if you do this. I’m not saying I don’t want to help you or that I don’t want to beat him within an inch of his life too, but, man, we gotta be smart about this.” I knew Hacker was right, but it sure as shit wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
“I’m worried as hell about her, man. She’s going back to Des Moines today, and I can’t be there to protect her. I have obligations to the club right now. It feels like I’m being torn in two.” I leaned forward in the chair, holding my head in my hands as I tried to calm the fuck down. I wanted to punch someone. I had never once regretted my obligations to the club coming before everything else, but I had never felt like I did about Stephanie before either.
“I get it, bro. Totally. I told you, she’s like my little sister. Let’s talk to Snow and see if he has any ideas or thoughts, okay? If he says we have the go-ahead, I’ll do what you need. Anything.” I stood and reached out, clasping his hand as I gave him a rough hug and pat on the back.
“Thanks, man. Now put some fucking clothes on. Shit, I think your dick just touched me.”
I walked out of the room laughing and looking forward to at least seeing Stephanie at lunch. I went to take a shower while I waited for Snow to show up at the clubhouse.
Remi and I were early, and she was busy coloring on the paper placemat when Reaper walked in, causing the little bell at the top of the door to jingle. I saw him scan the room until his gaze landed on us at the booth in the corner. His hair still looked wet, like he had just stepped out of the shower. The thought of him naked with hot water streaming down his body had my cheeks flushing and my girly parts tingling.
Bad, bad, bad girl…
I wasn’t sure how he was going to take my news, but I hoped he would be happy for me and supportive. I smiled up at him as he stopped at the edge of the table and leaned down to kiss first me and then Remi.
“My two favorite girls.” He slid into the booth across from me and reached for my hand, raising it to his lips. God, this man was more than I could stand sometimes. He sure had a sweet side, despite the shit he’d been through.
“So, I have some news to discuss with you, and I’m not sure how you’re going to feel about it all.” I felt nervous. What if he didn’t want us up his ass all the time? Would we cramp his style? He looked at me with some trepidation in his eyes.
“Uh, okay. I’m listening.” His face was an expressionless mask.
“So… I have an opportunity.” I cleared my throat and blurted the rest of my news out before I lost my nerve. “I’m going to buy the Oasis. I’m moving home.” As I sat trying to gauge his reaction, my heart felt lodged in my throat, and my teeth worried my bottom lip. Would he really want us around?
“Are you fucking kidding me? Don’t fuck with me, Stephanie. I mean it, I don’t think my sanity could handle it if you told me this was a joke.” His face remained impassive, but surely his response meant he was okay with this.
“I’m serious. Are you mad? I don’t want Remi and I to cramp your style or have you thinking I’m trying to be up your ass.”
“Jesus, Stephanie. No way! Shit, do you have any idea how happy this makes me? Being able to see the two of you every day if I want? Damn, baby, I’m over the moon right now.” It made me get all gushy inside when he called me baby. His face was lit up with the sexy smile that I had come to love, replete with dimples. My heart thudded in relief and I smiled back at him.
“There are a few things that I need to talk to you about though… I need to go into work tomorrow so I can turn in my two-week notice, and I need to pack. My parents want me to leave Remi here with them. For several reasons, I agree. While I’ll really miss having her with me—I mean, I’ve never been away from her—I think it would give you an opportunity to spend quality time with her. What do you think?” I questioned. We were never going to get those years back, but I really felt it was important for him to be able to have some one-on-one time with her.
“Hell yeah, I would love to be able to spend time with her, but can’t you just call them and tell them you’re not coming back? If so, I can see if I can leave for a couple of days to help you pack and bring your stuff home. I don’t like the thought of you going back alone with that stupid fuck still hanging around.” He looked frustrated and his fingers tapped rapidly on the table. Truth be told, I didn’t even really know him, but it felt good to have someone who wanted to protect me.
“Reaper, I don’t think I’ll need to worry about Michael after the ‘come to Jesus meeting’ you had between your fist and his face.” I was pretty sure Michael wouldn’t be bothering me anymore. Granted, I wasn’t looking forward to the thought of possibly running into him in the halls, but I didn’t think he was a worry now. “I’ll be back the weekend after next.”
“I don’t fucking like it. I want you to check in with me every time you leave your place and every time you get home and have your door locked. I’m not trying to control you, baby, but I’m really worried about you going alone. It also might be a good idea to have Hacker set up his tracking system on your phone.” He still didn’t look happy, and I appreciated his concern, but for a second, I felt my hackles rise when I felt he was dictating checking in with him. The thought of having a tracker on my phone almost sent me into panic-mode. After I searched through my phone and found the app Michael had buried in a folder, I was sick, but when I tried to put myself in Colton’s place, I understood his concerns.
We made the decision to drop the subject for the time being and enjoy our lunch. Remi had been absorbed in her coloring, but when I asked her if she wanted chicken or grilled cheese, she seemed to realize “Daddy” was here and begged to go sit by him. The rest of lunch consisted of Remi trying to “share” her food with Daddy and stealing his fries with a giggle every time he acted surprised that she had taken another one. Watching them interact warmed my heart. The physical similarities were uncanny really. I could imagine what Colton had looked like as a small boy.
“So why Remi, anyway?” he surprised me by asking suddenly. At the sound of her name, Remi looked up at him and smiled with her face stuffed full of fries. We both laughed at her comical expression.
“You mean, why did I choose the name Remi?” He nodded when I asked. “Well, it’s kind of silly, I guess, but her daddy was ‘Colton’ and it was like a Colt pistol… so her name is Remington Amelia. Remi for short. Remington because it was another brand of firearm. Am I sounding crazy?” I began to blush and fidget. At the time, it made total sense to me. Now, maybe it seemed a little odd.
He was quiet for several minutes. I looked up to see his reaction to my crazy rationale. He appeared slightly taken aback.
“So you basically named her after me,” he said in a quiet voice.
“Well, yeah. I didn’t have your last name, or I would have given it to her, even though I couldn’t find you. So that was the most creative thing I could think of. It sounds a little weird, but it made sense at the time, and I liked the name.” I twisted my fork in my hand nervously. I hoped he didn’t think it was stupid.
“Thank you, baby. Every time we talk, I find more and more things you do that blow me away. You really are an amazing woman. I don’t deserve either of you, you know? I’m really a fucking mess inside. I’m not the same guy you met back then, and I probably wasn’t completely sane back then. I’ve kil—I’ve done things,” he whispered so Remi wouldn’t hear, “and I would do it again to keep my brothers, sisters, and my country safe. But you have made me selfish. I want you and Remi in my life; I just don’t know how it’ll all work out.” To hear him voice aloud the fact that he had ended people’s lives was a bit of a shock, despite knowing he had deployed as a sniper. I could also tell by his expression that he truly believed that he didn’t deserve us. I pushed my plate to the side and grasped his hands firmly in mine.
“Stop. You do deserve her. Everyone deserves to be loved and cared about. Reaper, you can act all hard and tough, but you really are a good man. Don’t sell yourself short. She adores you, and she just met you. I’ve been stuck on you for years because of how good you were to me that night, and again now. You could have told us to get lost, but you’ve embraced her like you’ve been there since day one. Now, change of subject but speaking of names… what’s up with ‘Reaper’ anyway? Why do they call you that?” His face went flat momentarily at my question before he met my eyes and tried to play it off as nonchalantly as he could. I was beginning to wonder if I had stepped out of line with my question.
“It was Hollywood—Mason—he had told the guys in the MC that I was a sniper. So for a little while, they called me One Shot for… uh well, then they switched to Reaper when I began to officially prospect.” He looked down at the table and my hands resting on his. “Anyway, it stuck.”
“It’s kind of sexy….” I wiggled my eyebrows in an exaggerated attempt to lift the mood and neutralize the somberness weighing heavy at the table.
He smirked and laughed as he shook his head at my ridiculous attempt at humor. God, I loved this man’s smile and the deep sound of his laughter. If I had my way, he would smile and laugh 24/7.
It was time for me to head back to the house and prepare for my trip back to Des Moines, but I was loathe to leave Remi and him behind. I told myself it was only two weeks; I could do this. I did break down and agree to let Erik set my phone up. I told him I would meet him at the MC’s clubhouse on my way out of town to pick it up.