NOT OVER HER
A pain rips through my chest when I spot Julianna on the dance floor in her date’s arms, a warm smile lighting up her beautiful face. I hadn’t expected to see her at the prom. It wasn’t something we talked about, but she’s usually anti-school functions, so I assumed she’d sit the prom out as well.
Accepting her apology last year had been a no brainer; I’d been the one to screw things up between us. The truth is, I couldn’t stand not having her in my life. The thing that’s been killing me over the past year is keeping her at an arm’s length. Jules had been my world, and when I lost her, it came crashing down around me. She’s meant for great things and big places. I know I can’t keep her, and I can’t put myself through the pain of losing her again.
For the most part, I’ve finally found a happy middle ground with her. Then there are moments like tonight when I’m reminded that I’m always going to want Jules, all of her, and I’ll never have that. She looks undeniably gorgeous tonight—her skin-tight, shimmering silver dress hugging every luscious curve of her body, but I loathe how she’s in the arms of another guy.
I’ve been seeing my girlfriend Amanda for months now, and I like her a lot. We’ve had some great times together—especially when we’re alone—but she’s not Jules.
My stomach tenses into a more intricate knot with every passing second she’s still dancing with that douchebag. That must be the boyfriend she’s been telling me about—Jason. I don’t need to meet him to know I hate him. From the stories she’s told me, he really likes to dick around with her heart.
My fists curl when the asshole checks out some other girl dancing beside them. That jerk doesn’t deserve to have Jules in his arms. He shouldn’t have the privilege of being here with her tonight. He probably hasn’t even told her how breathtaking she looks because he’s too afraid she might wake up and realize she’s too damn good for him. Yet, I bet he’s still planning on touching her tonight, probably even more than that—maybe he already has.
The thought makes my blood boil, the room feeling overly hot as my stomach begins to churn. I can’t keep standing here torturing myself this way.
“I’m ready to go,” I whisper in Amanda’s ear, placing my hand on her ass.
“Already?” She giggles. “Can’t you wait a little longer?”
My eyes travel back over to the dance floor right as Julianna’s gaze lands on me. Her smile beams, causing my heart to swell as she begins heading in my direction.
“Nope,” I reply, taking her hand in mine. “I’m ready now. Let’s go.”
I’m already pulling Amanda toward the exit by the time Jules breaks through the crowd of people. I can’t face her right now, or deal with meeting her date.
December 26th
“Please tell me that wasn’t Julianna you followed to the bathroom,” my sister chides as I take my seat back at the table.
My head is spinning like it took a blow, my thoughts echoing Julianna’s words. “No one has ever caused me more heartache than you.” Is that true? Had I really hurt her that deeply? The mere thought makes me sick to my stomach.
When I don’t respond to my sister’s question, she presses further. “We talked about this and you agreed it was best if you stay away from her.”
“I know,” I force out through clenched teeth.
Fucking Levi told Danielle about our little run in with Julianna at the bar. Knowing she’s back in town—possibly for good—has Dani all worked up. Which is why I had absolutely no intention of telling her. Levi was still too young to understand what was going on when I lost it over Jules marrying Christopher. Danielle, on the other hand, has a crystal-clear memory of it, and she holds a grudge the size of Texas against her for it.
“Since you felt the need to share the town gossip with me about Jules catching Christopher cheating on her, I felt the need to apologize for my behavior last weekend. But it’s done.”
She sits back in her chair, narrowing her eyes at me as I take a huge gulp of water to wash the bile from my mouth.
“You said you didn’t care, that she’s in your past. If that’s true, why did you run after her, apologizing for something that isn’t your fault?”
“For fuck’s sake!” I growl, causing a few heads to turn our way. In an effort to keep our conversation private, I lean over the table, continuing in a near whisper. “She found her husband sleeping with another woman in their bed, Dani. She doesn’t deserve that, and she didn’t deserve the way I treated her either. I can’t even imagine how much she must be hurting, and if I ever see that son-of-a-bitch again, I might kill him.”
“See!” My eyes narrow in on the finger she has pointed in my face. “You’re not over her, and that’s why I’m so worried about you. I can’t watch you self-destruct again. You’ve come too far.”
“You’re right,” I admit, throwing my arms up in defeat as I sit back again. “There’s no getting over Jules for me. I’ll love her until my dying day. But I’m not the same stupid kid anymore. I learned my lesson, and I have every intention of keeping her out of my life.”