PATRÓN ME

December 19th

My pulse races as I watch Lizzy walk toward the bar, praying the alcohol streaming through my veins will help calm my nerves soon.

Being back in Tennessee always makes me feel on edge, but knowing I’m stuck here again has heightened my anxiety. When I was merely visiting, I could block out the haunting memories. But that isn’t the case now. It’s only my first night back, and I already feel trapped—suffocated by the life I left behind.

Though Tennessee is the last place on earth I wanted to end up, I’m grateful to have a friend like Lizzy. I don’t know what I’d do without her. She was the first call I made after I walked out on Christopher, and she offered her home to me in an instant. The woman is a saint, I swear.

Lizzy has been one of my best friends since we were teenagers, and I’ve always known I can count on her. The shadows of my past held me back from being here for her more when her husband died, and I hate myself for not being strong enough to face them for her.

She’s struggled so much over the past couple years, I was worried we’d lost her forever, but during my visit in October, the old her started to resurface and I felt like I could breathe a little better knowing my girl was still in there. The second I saw her with Brenden, I knew he had something to do with it, even if she still isn’t ready to accept it. It’s obvious Brenden is seriously falling for her, but I imagine it would be hard not to fall for someone like Lizzy.

Not because of her outer beauty, although she has plenty of it. People say we look like sisters, our pale skin and dark hair almost identical, but her emerald green eyes have always made her stand out. It’s her inner beauty that truly makes her shine, though.

Memories flood in as my eyes roam around the small-town bar. Zane’s has been around since I was a kid. The smell of stale beer and years of grime layering the wooden tables certainly highlight the bar’s age. Being in here is like stepping back in time. Nothing has really changed. Same dim lighting. Same neon signs. Same décor. The only thing that’s been updated is the music, which is probably the one thing I would have been okay with staying the same. More than once I’d come here to dance and partake in underage drinking, but that seems like a lifetime ago. This place reminds me of the girl I once was—naïve and trusting to a fault. That girl had dreams and hopes of the future, but those died right along with her.

When my eyes land on Lizzy again, Brenden is standing next to her. My dark mood shifts, a smile spreading across my face, as I mentally pat myself on the back. I knew Brenden would follow her here if I posted on Facebook that Lizzy and I would be at Zane’s tonight —and I was right.

Brenden places his hand on Lizzy’s arm, and I watch them a little too intently as their eyes meet, ignoring the scraping sound of a chair being pulled away from our table. It’s the sound of someone clearing their throat that startles me enough to pull my attention away from them, my body stiffening as I slightly turn my head to eye my visitor.

Drawing in a heavy breath to calm myself, I look him over with narrowed eyes. He’s obviously young, but still handsome. His messy sandy hair and mischievous bluish-green eyes remind me of someone I used to know—someone I once loved. The likeness makes me feel an odd warmth toward him.

“Hi,” he offers, a lazy smile on his flawless face. “I’m Lee.”

I bite down on my bottom lip to contain my laughter, my brow furrowing as I try to figure out if he’s hitting on me. It’s been so long, I can’t be sure. A wedding ring tends to provide a deterrent for such things, but I took that off before I got on the plane to come here.

“Hello, Lee. I’m Julianna,” I snicker. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Julianna? That sounds familiar. Do I know you?”

His eyes get serious as he studies my face, and I can no longer control my laughter.

“Not likely, Lee.”

Smiling, he shakes his head. “Don’t get me wrong, I totally came over here to hit on you. I’d be dumb not to, you’re stunning, but that wasn’t a pick-up line. I swear.”

It’s ridiculous that this young, cute guy just called me stunning, and I should be laughing instead of blushing at his compliment, but it feels good. Finding Christopher with a woman not only younger than me, but completely different in every way, hadn’t exactly done anything to help with my insecurities. I need a little confidence boost.

“Oh no?”

“Nope. My lines are much better,” he quips, a prideful smile on his face.

“Well, maybe I’ll get to hear one sometime.”

What the hell was that? Did I seriously just flirt with this kid?

“Oh, you can count on that, gorgeous.” He gives me a toothy smile as he winks at me. “But first, are you sure we haven’t met?”

Laughing again, I shake my head, feeling my face heat when his eyes meet mine.

“Be careful, baby brother. You’re hitting on a married woman,” a voice booms, startling me. My heart jumps into my throat as Lee’s face lights up, and I turn in my seat to put a face with the voice.

Everything around us fades into the background, and I forget myself as my eyes lock with his. My brain is no longer telling my lungs to take in air because it’s too busy scrambling to process the fact that Eric Winston is. Right. There.

When his glare moves to Lee, breaking its hold on me, I take a deep breath and allow my eyes to wander. Even after all this time, he still causes a flutter in my stomach. Though he’s aged, it only adds to his good looks. His once long and shaggy sandy hair is now tamed, giving him a more distinguished look, and he’s traded in his baggy t-shirts and jeans for button-downs and chinos.

As I continue to study him, he makes his way over to Lee, and my entire body follows him each step of the way. I’ve never seen him with facial hair, and I’m a sucker for a nice beard. His is perfect—not so long that it catches crumbs or looks like it needs to be combed, but not so short that it’s patchy and scratchy. Once they are side-by-side, I realize why Lee reminded me of Eric and I feel sick.

Lee is Eric’s baby brother. I’d known him as Levi, but he was still in grade school the last time I saw him.

“Whatever!” Lee cackles. “She’s not married! Don’t worry, I always check for a ring.” His forehead creases as his gaze moves from Eric to me, then back again. “Wait. Do you two know each other?” he asks, gesturing toward us with his pointer finger.

Eric’s jaw ticks as his body stiffens, ignoring his brother’s question, and my heart sinks.

Nodding, I answer, “We used to. Hello, Eric.”

“Jules,” he clips out, not meeting my gaze.

My stomach knots, hating his cold, sharp tone, though my emotions stir at the nickname he’d given me so long ago.

“Oh shit!” Lee’s eyes widen. “This is Jules?”

Eric shoots his brother a nasty look before calmly saying, “Excuse us. I need to speak with my brother for a moment.”

My head spins as I watch Eric drag his brother over to the other side of the bar, trying to process what the hell just happened. There was a time I considered Eric to be one of my best friends, but so much has changed since then. Right now, it feels like a lifetime ago, and in a way, it was.