Chapter Twenty-Four
Zoe
I loved looking out at the city from the limousine window. People would stare and point; some would take pictures. My entire life, I’d dreamed of what it would be like to be successful. I wasn’t there yet, but at least I got to feel what it was like.
I pretended that I was a dignitary, driving to the UN headquarters, or a starlet, hiding from the paparazzi. At that moment, I was somebody, and people were watching me. I never liked being spoiled by men. I refused to allow them to do it, but it felt nice to have a little luxury.
Archer made me feel like a queen. To him, our relationship was all about appreciation. He was constantly thanking me for taking care of the boys, and he made sure I had everything I needed. Every night was another romantic dinner, another fiery session in bed, and then there were those few precious moments when we’d bask in the afterglow of lovemaking and hold each other until we fell asleep.
When we pulled up to the bakery, Chloe was out back, trying to hide the fact that she was smoking a cigarette. I humored her and gave her a moment to snuff it out before I grabbed my keys and got out. She glared at me while I shuffled around trying to find the right one.
“Okay, what is it?” I asked.
“You’re living with him.”
“I’ve had it.” I opened the door and walked in to pull on my apron. “I don’t want to hear another word about him. I want to be with him. I’m happy, and that’s all there is to it. If you have a problem with that, keep it to yourself.”
“You’re moving way too fast, Zoe.” She pulled her apron off the hook and tied it on. “Real friends will tell you when something’s wrong. If I didn’t care, I’d stay quiet.”
“I think you care too much. It’s starting to get to you.”
“He’s got you living in his house, taking care of his kids, making him dinner, and putting him to bed every single night.”
“So?” I asked.
“So, you just met him. Please, be logical. It’s not healthy, Zoe, and somebody’s got to say it.”
“It’s intense, but it’s not about how long we’ve known each other. It’s about how I feel.”
“That’s what sixteen-year-olds say. When relationships get this intense, this early, you run. Do you know what intensity turns into?”
“No, I don’t.” I pulled a crate of blueberries out of the cooler. “But I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“I am, because you need to know. Eventually, those things will get the better of you. You guys will get too close. Then reality will set in, and you’ll find those little things that all couples fight about, and one of you will start to pull away. It will hurt the other one, and you’ll be stuck dealing with jealousy, even hostility. Maybe even violence. In the end, you’ll be ready to stab him. I’m trying to save you.”
“Violence? What makes you say that?”
“The incident with Mr. Beetle.”
“That’s the only time I’ve ever seen Archer get angry and violent, and he had good reason to be.”
“That anger is still a part of who he is. If he’s capable of losing control like that, then you’d better watch out. He might turn on you.”
“That’s ridiculous.” I poured the blueberries into a pot, then put the pot in the sink to fill it up with water.
“It’s scary is what it is. I know what’s going on. You might not talk about it much, but you’re starting to act like a mom to those boys.”
“So?”
“So, you’re not their mom. They didn’t come out of you. He probably just needs a replacement.”
I turned off the water. “I doubt that. He didn’t even want to tell me about the boys. He’s not using me to replace their mother.”
“He’s got you waking up in the middle of the night to take care of them. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how tired you’ve been.”
“I like helping.”
“And he likes you helping. Those boys are going to lure you into a relationship that you know nothing about. By the time things start to get ugly, it’ll be too late. You’ll already be too attached to them to leave.”
“All right, maybe I should take things a little slower than I have been, but I’m not going to write Archer off just because he has kids.”
“I agree. I’m not completely opposed to you being with him. I just don’t think it’s healthy for you to be spending so much time together. You have to set boundaries. If you don’t, you’ll slip into co-dependency, and I’m not about to watch you get into that situation. I’ll physically drag you out myself.”
“He did say that he wanted to spend the entire weekend alone with me.”
“That’s what I’m talking about. You’ve got to have some time to yourself.”
“You’re right.” I threw my hands up into the air. “I haven’t been thinking logically.”
“You’re blinded by your feelings, and you know better than I do just how dangerous that can be.”
“God,” I groaned, “I’ve been so stupid, and I’m so sorry for the way I’ve treated you, Chloe. I’ve been so mean.”
“I’m just glad you finally came around.” Chloe pulled a knife off the rack so she could cut the apples. I put the blueberries on the stove.
“I don’t even know what happened to their mother.”
“You didn’t ask?”
“No, it’s kind of a touchy subject.”
“That’s the kind of thing you need to know.” She finished one apple and moved on to another.
“I know. I know, but I didn’t want to upset him.”
“He probably has a complex about it. He’s trying to replace her. That’s why things are moving so quick.”
“You’ve already said that.”
“And I’ll keep saying it,” Chloe shot back. “At least until you start listening.”
I considered it. “He does mention how good I am with the kids all the time. And how he’s so glad I don’t mind being around them. And his nanny told me that the boys needed a woman’s touch. All those things keep coming up. You might be right.”
“I’m certain of it now. You need to step back and look at this rationally before you get into a bad situation and you end up getting hurt.”
We didn’t talk much about it after that. It was too unsettling. I’d already gotten so invested in this relationship, but now it felt like I’d been wrong to do that. I felt like I was being reckless. I needed to slow things down and make sure this whole situation with Archer wasn’t a huge mistake.
After work, I went out back to call Archer while Chloe finished cleaning.
“Hello?” he answered.
“Hey.” I was doing my best to avoid sounding distressed.
“Zoe. How are you, gorgeous?”
I could hear his smile through the phone. He was happy to hear from me. It was beautiful, but as hard as it was, I couldn’t allow myself to get caught up.
“I’m good,” I said. “But I’m tired.”
“Would you like me to make you dinner?”
“I don’t know. I think I’m going to head back to my place tonight.”
“Is something wrong?”
I hated the way he went from excited to disappointed. “No, I’m fine. I just want a quiet night to myself.”
“What about Mr. Beetle?”
“I haven’t heard anything from him. I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”
“Maybe you’re right. I’ve been thinking the same thing, but I don’t like taking the risk.”
“I can’t abandon my apartment.”
“You’re right. I’m going to miss sleeping next to you, though.”
I rested my head against the back wall. I was going to miss sleeping next to him, too. I wanted to tell him that I’d be right there. We’d have dinner together, make love, and fall asleep in each other’s arms. I could practically feel him wrapping his arms around me. But it was a trap, a beautiful, intoxicating trap. I couldn’t let myself get caught in it. “I’ll give you a call.”
There was a pause. I was certain that he’d picked up on my detached attitude. After a moment, he said, “I’ll be waiting by the phone.”
I walked back inside. Chloe was busy mopping under the sink. “I can’t stand these little dust bunnies. I want them gone.”
“I feel terrible,” I said.
“Why?” Chloe pushed the mop under the sink.
“He knows that I’m pulling away.”
“So?” She pulled the mop back and turned her attention to me.
“So, I don’t like doing this to him. He really cares about me.”
“This is healthy. You know it. I know it. What’s the problem?”
“I don’t like disappointing him.”
“You’re doing the right thing.”
“I hope you’re right.”