Chapter 23

James

 

 

I was sitting in the office talking with Derek about his upcoming show.

“I got it all set up dude. There’s a bunch of big people coming out that are looking specifically at you,” I told my longtime friend.

“Really? That’s awesome,” Derek said.

“Yeah, man. I’ve never experienced anything like this. But people really love your work. Even people just seeing it for the very first time. This is why I chose to represent you, and this is why I don’t want you to try to sell your art in the other galleries,” I said. He knew I was just kidding, and I knew he would never go anywhere else.

“This is so awesome, man,” Derek said.

“I know. I’ve never been this excited about a show before. We’ve got Donna Newbury coming all the way from New York City.” She was a world-renowned art critic. She hardly ever left New York City for art.

“Are you serious?” he asked. He was in as much shock as I was when she told me she was coming. It was one of the messages that Rachel had handed me this morning. So, I’d just found out myself. But I wasn’t going to tell Derek that. I didn’t want him to think she had just decided to pick him up at the last second.

“Yeah man. I’m totally serious. There are some big people coming out, and I don’t say that lightly.” I said to him, reiterating the fact that this was a huge show for both of us, and that he shouldn’t do anything to fuck it up. Though I wasn’t going to say that in so many words.

“Nice, man,” he said. He looked down at his phone and texted away, something he did often. I put his phone away, and he looked at me, then folded his hands and leaned into my desk. “So, your new assistant, Rachel? She is fucking hot,” he said.

I felt a wave of anger rush through me. Anger and jealousy. Derek wasn’t a good person where women were concerned. I didn’t like the way he treated women, though I didn’t judge him on it because he was his own person. But I wanted him to stay the hell away from Rachel. He didn’t know this yet, but she was mine.

“Don’t. She is not going to be one of your one-night stands,” I said. I made sure to put emphasis on the word ‘not’ so he would realize just how serious I was about this.

Derek sucked air through his teeth, and he gave me a funny look. I knew that he had figured out that he probably shouldn’t press it. I didn’t get angry about very much, but there were some things that I didn’t like. One of those was that you didn’t talk about the woman I liked in any way that was disrespectful to her or to women in general. I wasn’t like him. I respected women. That might have made me look like a pussy in his eyes, but I didn’t really care. He seemed to realize just how serious I was because he didn’t press the issue any further.

The wave of anger and jealousy that rushed through me made me question everything, though. I hadn’t been this protective over any female since Whitney, and now the first thing Derek said about Rachel and I jumped down his throat. I felt very protective over her, and I didn’t get it. Was it because we had sex? Was it because I really do like her? I was so confused. I don’t think it would’ve been so hard if I wouldn’t have had a wife that passed away. But with Whitney in the back my mind all the time, it was making things a lot harder for me. Everything was more emotionally charged, and it was harder to figure things out objectively. I wasn’t sure what to do, and I wasn’t even sure where my life was headed.

I know that a big part of me really liked Rachel, and I wanted to be with her more than anything. But I also had to wonder about her. There were things she was holding back and hiding from me. Things that she didn’t want me to know. Did she really want to be with me? Maybe she was in the same exact boat I was. Maybe that was good, or maybe it just guaranteed that things weren’t going to work out between us. I just didn’t know.

“Well, I gotta take off. But I’ll see you on Saturday for my show,” Derek said.

I stood up with him. I kind of wanted to escort him out, mostly just to make sure he didn’t do anything rude in front of Rachel. I followed him down the stairs, and he paused for a moment when he passed by Nell and Rachel.

“See you later, ladies,” he said, and then walked out the door.

That left me feeling a lot better. He obviously knew that Rachel was off limits now, and I knew I didn’t have to worry about him. It wasn’t that I was worried about him going after her; I was more worried about him being disrespectful towards her, and that wasn’t okay. I wasn’t ready to tell him about us yet, but I didn’t want him to be rude to her either. She deserved to be respected and not treated like a piece of meat or a toy for men’s enjoyment.

“How about we go get a smoothie?” I asked the girls.

“Yes!” Nell yelled.

I looked at Rachel, who smiled and nodded her head. She was laughing at Nell’s reaction, which was pretty cute. I actually thought Rachel’s reaction to Nell was pretty cute too.

Once we were all out the door, I locked it behind us. We walked down the street to the local smoothie shop. It was just a few blocks away, and it was still pretty warm out, so it was nice to get out in the sunshine for a bit. We got down to the smoothie shop and ordered our drinks, and then sat down in a booth.

“So, Rachel. There’s a show this weekend for Derek, as you know. Would you like to come help me out with it?” I asked her, hoping that she would say yes. I would understand if she were to say no and wanted the weekend off though. She didn’t have to help me with this; I usually had shows handled pretty well by myself. It would be nice to have her with me, was all. Come to think of it, I’d never really had an assistant that was actually helpful, so it was a new experience all around.

She smiled at me. “I’d love to,” she said.

“Good,” I said, then I realized that might have sounded funny. So, I fixed it. “I mean, that’s good. I’m glad to hear that you can help me out.”

Get it together man, I scolded myself. I was falling apart. I was fumbling for words, and I had to admit I’d been pretty nervous when I’d asked her.

She laughed, and I knew that she knew it was only because I was nervous. I wondered if she knew what I really thought about her, and that I really did want to be with her.

“What did you think of Derek?” I asked. I wanted to know what she thought of him, and I wanted to find out if he had hit on her already. Maybe he’d made her feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t really sure.

“He’s, uh…” Her voice drifted off like she was trying to figure out what to say next. Maybe she didn’t want to upset me. Maybe she didn’t want to hurt my feelings by talking bad about my best friend. All I know is that I wanted to know more. She was hesitating, and it was making me uncomfortable.

“What? Did something happen?” I asked her.

She looked down at her smoothie, instead of at me, and I knew something happened.

“What did he do?” I asked.

“He might have hit on me a little bit,” she said finally.

“He did? Well, to be fair, I didn’t say anything, so he didn’t know.” I didn’t go into further detail with Nell sitting here, and I figured Rachel knew exactly what I was talking about by the way she looked at me.

“You didn’t?” she asked as if she couldn’t figure out why I wouldn’t tell him.

“Nope. It’s none of his business,” I explained to her.

Rachel smiled at me, and I think that maybe she respected me for doing that. For keeping my mouth shut, instead of being like a normal man and running around telling all my friends that we’d slept together. But I had never been like that. I never told anybody about Whitney and me having sex for the first time, and I definitely wasn’t going to start doing that with Rachel.

“This smoothie is so yummy,” Nell said.

I looked at her as she took one big gulp from her drink. I followed in suit, and so did Rachel. Soon the three of us were laughing from the brain freezes we all experienced. At that moment, I felt like my world was finally complete. I liked being there—just three of us, sitting there drinking smoothies and laughing. It was fun, and most of all, I had two beautiful girls with me who were both smiling and laughing. It was all I would ever need in my life, and I knew I didn’t want anything to ever change. I knew then that I wanted nothing more than to have Rachel stay in my life with me and Nell.

“Why do these hurt so bad?” Nell asked, tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.

I was laughing too hard to answer her, and so was Rachel. The both of us just looked at Nell and shrugged. Rachel tried to talk, I think to explain to Nell why that happened, but instead, it sounded like a wheezing noise, which only caused us to start laughing harder. I think we laughed for three minutes straight. We finally calmed down when we realized that people were staring at us like we were crazy. Nevertheless, it was one of the best moments of my life.

“Can Rachel come home with us?” Nell asked as we were finishing up our smoothies.

I looked at Rachel, who answered for me. A pretty big part of me was hoping she would say yes. I would have supported that plan. In fact, I hoped that she would.

“Not tonight sweetie. I’ve got some things I need to do,” she said.

I tried not to seem disappointed after she said this, but it was hard not to. I loved spending time with Rachel. I just loved being around her. Looking at her, talking to her, all of it. But most of all, I loved the way she interacted with Nell. She provided something for Nell that I couldn’t.

“But I want to hang out with you more,” Nell responded, making a sad face.

“Aw, Nell. We’ll have plenty of time to hang out together; I promise.”

“Okay,” Nell said and went back to her smoothie.

After the smoothies, we walked back to the gallery. I didn’t have anything else to do that day, so we closed up early. Rachel headed home, and Nell and I went back to our house. We watched one of her shows together. It was becoming my favorite time with her because I had a feeling deep inside of me somewhere that the time for just Nell and I was winding down, and coming to an end. That made me nostalgic, but also pretty damn excited, because I knew, whatever the future held for me included Rachel as well. I hoped so anyway.