Chapter 22

Rachel

 

 

I walked into work and was surprised to be the first one there. Since I had a key to the place, I let myself in. I had done this on occasion before when I got there before James. This was why he’d given me a key in the first place. I sat down at my desk and put my purse away, then got right to work checking emails and phone messages. There were a couple phone messages from clients and about four or five different emails.

Responding to the ones I could took only a few minutes, and I jotted down notes on those James needed to respond to. That’s when James came into the gallery. He was carrying two coffees and handed one to me.

“Thank you,” I said to him.

“You’re welcome, gorgeous,” he said to me.

I smiled at James. I really wanted to talk to him about the other night. I wanted to tell him how depressed I’d been the last couple of years, and why. And how I’d been feeling better since I started working here. How I haven’t even been depressed since we started spending time together. I was finally feeling so good mentally; I really wanted to tell him. I was proud of myself, and I felt like this was something he should know.

Just as I was about to tell him, he said, “I’ve got some things I need to go do. My friend Derek is coming by; he should be here soon,” he said.

“Okay,” I said, vowing not to even mention it to him. He smiled at me once more and then walked down the hallway and up the stairs to his office. I heard the door to his office open, but I didn’t hear it close, which was good. But I just wished I could talk to him about everything. I felt the need to.

A couple hours later, a guy came into the gallery.

“Hey. I’m Derek. James is a friend of mind; is he here?”

“Hi Derek, I’m Rachel. I’m his newest assistant. James is waiting for you” I said to him.

“Are you sure I’m in the right place?” he asked.

I gave him a funny look, “What do you mean?” I asked him.

“Because I think I’ve died and gone to heaven,” he said to me with a wink.

I shook my head, not in the mood to get hit on. Besides, his little joke was a little too cheesy for me. It wouldn’t have worked on me at any other time in my life, and it certainly wasn’t working on me now.

“James is waiting for you,” I said to him.

“Sorry, he just doesn’t normally hire such gorgeous women to work for him.” He was now leaning on the desk, and was getting a little too close to my face for comfort, really starting to bother me. I was in no mood to be hit on, especially not by some stranger. And especially not by the friend of the guy I liked. Though, in fairness, he had no idea that I liked James, or vice versa. He had no idea that James and I had slept together. At least I hoped he didn’t know. He must not have known if he was acting this way, right?

“I’m serious. James is waiting for you,” I said, then turned my attention to my computer, completely shutting him out and hoping that would do the trick. And it did, because he turned and walked away, heading upstairs to see James. I didn’t hear from him again and I was pretty thankful for that.

Being hit on had always kind of irritated me, especially by strange men. A few minutes later, James came down the stairs and I thought for sure he was going to scold me for the way I’d treated his friend. Instead, he asked if I could go pick up Nell for the day, so he could keep talking with Derek. I didn’t mind doing it; I loved spending time with Nell.

“Sure thing,” I said to him. I quickly stood up, grabbed my purse and headed out the door. I didn’t look back, unsure of what to do or say. He seemed to be acting funny towards me today and I was just getting a weird vibe from him. I drove to Nell’s school, her booster seat in the backseat of my car, and she practically screamed when she saw me. I was glad that James had added me to the pickup list.

“Rachel!” she yelled, when she got to my car.

“Hi, Nell!” I said to her, then got out and helped her buckle up.

I tried not to seem too distracted on the drive back to the office.

“How was school, sweetie?” I asked her.

Nell smiled at me when I caught her reflection in the rearview mirror. “It was good,” she said, and then she giggled.

“What?” I asked. I didn’t know why she was laughing, and wasn’t quite sure what was going on. Maybe there was something on my face. I didn’t think I’d said anything that could have made her laugh. I felt really confused.

“I know something,” she said, then giggled again.

I just shook my head.

Little kids: I loved how they acted like this when they had secrets. I didn’t know what her secret was, but I had to admit I was getting more and more curious by the second. The more she didn’t tell me, the more I wanted to know. But I guess that’s how secrets work.

“What is it?” I asked her.

She shrugged and giggled once more, and then she finally spoke. “My daddy likes you,” she said with another giggle.

I tried to focus on my driving, but what she said had thrown me off. I hadn’t been expecting her to say that at all. In fact, that was the last thing I thought she was going to say. I thought maybe she was going to tell me she had a crush on a boy school, or there was something on my face. I don’t really know what I thought she was going to tell me, I just didn’t expect it to be that.

“Really?” I asked her.

She nodded her head at me. “He likes you a lot, Rachel.”

I let that sink in for a minute before I responded to her. I wasn’t even sure if I believed it myself, so I wasn’t quite ready to be talking to her about it. Did he say something to her? Did he tell her that he liked me? Did he tell her that we went on a date this week? Or that—no, he wouldn’t have. What did he tell her? All these questions were running through my head, and it was all just confusing me more.

“Are you sure about that?” I asked her. I hoped she wasn’t lying. What I really hoped was that she was telling me the truth, and what she was saying was true because I really liked James.

She nodded her head enthusiastically “He’ll never tell you, but he likes you a lot.”

“Why won’t he tell me?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know. But I thought you should know because I really like you, Rachel. And I really like how happy my dad is when he’s around you.”

I couldn’t help the smile that came across my face. I tried to fight it off, but I just couldn’t. It felt so good to hear her say this. Because I knew she would never lie about such a thing. There was no way she could make something up like this. It had to have come from James. Or at a minimum, it was something she’d put together from being around him and hearing him talk about me.

“Thank you, Nell,” I told her. I really was thankful that she told me, because before that I was so confused about what was going on with us. Maybe he himself was still trying to wrap his head around his feelings for me. I just needed to give him time. Hell, I needed time myself.

This was so new to both of us, and we both had been hurt, badly. I went through my divorce, and he lost his wife. We both probably needed more time, but there was just something about him that I couldn’t resist. I couldn’t and didn’t want to stay away from him. All I wanted was to spend more time with them, getting to know him even better. Having sex with him again was on my mind as well. The sex was mind-blowing, and I hadn’t been able to get him off my mind. In fact, I thought about it all the time.

“I wish my daddy would tell you,” she sighed, as she looked out the window. “I like when you hang out with us,” she said.

I smiled at her. Children were so innocent, thinking that everything was always so easy. But things weren’t always so black and white. I mean, there was a reason why I was holding back from telling him how I felt, and I knew I felt a lot of things for him. When I woke up in his arms the other morning, it was the single best moment of my life in years. I hadn’t wanted to leave that spot.

“I’m sure he will,” I winked at her.

“Do you like him?” she asked me.

I wasn’t sure what to say. I knew if I told her ‘yes,’ she would probably tell him. But I didn’t want to lie and say I didn’t like him and break her little heart. Especially when I really did like her dad. I decided the former was probably better than the latter. So, I took a deep breath, “I like your daddy a lot,” I told her. It felt weird to say it out loud. It made it so much more real it seemed.

“I knew it!” Nell yelled from the back seat.

I laughed. She was so cute and innocent. She wanted nothing more than for her dad to be happy. I really loved that about her. I liked that she also wanted me to be a part of her life so much that she was willing to play matchmaker, even if she did know what she was doing. Part of me hoped that she would go tell her dad what I said. Even though a tiny part of me hoped that she wouldn’t. It was scary to think that he might know my true feelings for him.

It had been a long time since I’d had a crush on anyone like this; it had been since before my ex. It was hard to process these feelings and realize that I had them and they were for someone new. I never thought I would feel this way again, and here I was driving with this innocent little girl in the backseat of my car, trying to hook me up with her daddy. It had to have been the single best time in my life.

We got back to the  gallery to find that Derek and James were still upstairs. I could hear them laughing periodically. I took Nell back into the kitchen area where I made her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“You’re not sick of these yet?” I asked her.

She shook her head, “No, I’m not. I love the way you make sandwiches,” she said.

It was really heartwarming to hear her say that. I know it was just a sandwich, but it meant more to me than she would ever realize.