Chapter 28

Rachel

 

 

I was responding to an email when James and Nell came into the gallery. I had spent the last couple days constantly thinking about them. My thoughts were completely consumed by both Nell and James. I wanted to spend all my time with both of them. I don’t think I’d ever felt that way about a man before in my life, and definitely not a child. It felt good, especially because I could tell that they liked having me around and it was nice to know that I was wanted.

“How was school today?” I asked Nell when she came inside. She walked around the side of the desk and gave me a hug.

“It was good,” Nell said. She was bouncing around and seemed very energized this afternoon.

“What are you learning about now?” I asked her. I liked to ask her this like once a week. I wanted to ask her every day, but didn’t because I felt like that would be too much for her. But once a week was nice because then she could give me the rundown of what she had been recently learning. It was nice to hear, and I felt like I was experiencing all the new things right along with her. It was exciting. Such an exciting time for her, and for me.

“Well, today we learned how to count from one to twenty. But I already know how to do that, so the teacher let me help her out,” Nell said proudly.

She was so smart, and I knew that James was really proud of her. He had been doing such a great job raising her, though I knew it must’ve been so hard on him. To be a single father and have to raise your child alone after your wife died, and to carry on in the midst of profound grief. This had got to be something he struggled with. But clearly, he was doing a great job, and the evidence was Nell herself. A happy, healthy, confident and upbeat child. And she was doing really good at school; in fact, he had received many compliments from the teacher already. There was no way he couldn’t have been super proud of her.

“That’s so amazing. You’re so smart, Nell!” I said to her. I gave her another hug, and she squeezed me back tightly. Almost as if she never wanted to let go. I thought it was sweet.

“Did I miss anything while I was gone?” James asked.

“Um, I got an email from Derek asking about you blocking out a date for his next show. And I responded to a couple emails from a new client that would like to come in and talk with you. But other than that, I’ve just been organizing the pickup times for everything that sold the other night,” I told him.

He smiled at me. “You really are amazing, Rachel. Seriously, I don’t know how you do it all. What I do know is that you’re making this business more successful, and I couldn’t do it without you,” he said.

“You’re welcome,” I said. I loved hearing how much he appreciated me, but I also wanted him to tell me more. I wanted to know how he really felt about me. Were things changing between us? I knew we had great sex, but that didn’t necessarily mean he had feelings for me.

“Rachel, where do you live?” Nell asked.

I looked down at her. I tried to think of when we’d had a conversation about this, but I couldn’t come up with anything. It was weird, since I lived right down the street from the gallery, yet she’d never even been there.

“I live just about a block away. That way,” I said, and used my index finger to point up the street a little ways. Nell went to the door and peered out through the glass.

“Can we see your house from here?” Nell asked.

I laughed, “No, you can’t. But it’s not that far away.” I said. The reason why you couldn’t see my house was because it was behind some bushes.

“Get your nose off the glass, please,” James said. I grabbed a bottle of glass cleaner and a cloth from under my desk and walked over to it. I quickly sprayed the glass and wiped it down.

“There, all clean,” I said.

James laughed, followed by Nell, and I joined them. It was nice because it seemed like we were always laughing. There was always someone messing around, most of the time it was Nell, but a lot of the times James and I were joking about something, too. I love how we clicked like that. The three of us got along so great. It made everything seem better when I was around them.

“You can come see my house whenever you want,” I told Nell. Her eyes lit up really big.

“I can?” she said, and then she turned to James, “Daddy, can I spend the night at Rachel’s?”

James laughed, “You can if Rachel would like that sometime,” he said.

I smiled at the two of them, “Of course, you can stay the night with me,” I told Nell. She immediately came running up, and she threw her arms around me once again. I loved all of her hugs. She always hugged me so tightly, it made me sad that she hadn’t had her mom to hug all this time.

“Thank you, Rachel!” she yelled.

“When would you like to do this?” I asked her.

“Tonight! Can we do it tonight?” She said.

I laughed again and gave her another hug. “I don’t see why not,” I said to her and then to James, “You can stay too if you want,” I told him.

Nell started clapping her hands and jumping up and down. “Oh yes, Daddy, please! Please! Stay with us!” she yelled.

We were both laughing at how silly Nell was being. She was so excited over spending the night with me, and even more so to have her dad coming along. I loved how innocent she was, and how she got so happy about even the little things. It gave me a new lease on life to see her childlike wonder.

James pretended to think about it for a moment before he said, “Sure, I’ll stay with you guys.”

He went upstairs shortly afterward and started to get to work. There were some things that he had to do before we were done for the day. I went back to my desk and answered a couple more emails and made some comments on the website. Then Nell and I looked at the remaining paintings. I made up a story about a couple of them, and I could tell Nell absolutely loved it. I was nervous to have them stay at my house, and I was trying to remember the last time I cleaned it. But then I remembered I had been on top of cleaning every single day, so I hardly even had to do anything. There might’ve been a couple dishes in the sink, but that was an easy fix.

It was a couple more hours before James was done and we were all ready to leave. Nell was excited that we didn’t even have to get in the car. We just had to walk right up the street. I led the way, and she got excited all over again. It was something I’d been expecting, but she started screaming and jumping up and down. James told her to stop screaming, but she did it again until he told her they would be going home if she didn’t stop. But he quietly signaled to me that they really wouldn’t, and I had to hide my smile.

James left after a little while to pick us up some food we had ordered from a Mexican restaurant. He planned to stop by his house and grab a few things for them. Nell’s favorite blanket was a must have. When he came back thirty minutes later, we sat down around my table, and the three of us ate our food. It was really good, and I especially enjoyed it, not having had any Mexican food in a while.

“This is so good. Where did you say this place was?” I asked him.

“Off of Manhattan and 12th Street,” James said, as he took a bite of his rice.

“Oh, the little place with the mariachi band, right?”

“Yep, that’s the one,” James said, taking another bite of his rice with a scoop of beans. I couldn’t say I blamed him; it was really good.

When we finished eating, I went into the living room picked up the picture frame, my special one, and hid it away on my shelf behind some books. I didn’t want them to see and have questions. I still wasn’t quite ready to take the picture down for good.

I turned on the TV and found a family movie on Netflix, and the three of us settled on my couch and started watching it.

“Daddy, you’re going asleep on the couch tonight. I’m gonna sleep with Rachel in her bed,” Nell said, matter-of-factly.

James laughed, “Is that so?”

Nell nodded enthusiastically, “Yes,” but didn’t say another word.

“I guess it’s settled,” I said. James and I both laughed, but I was a little disappointed that I wouldn’t be sleeping with James, but I was excited to cuddle with Nell.

When the movie was over, the three of us separated. Nell and I said goodnight to James and left him on the couch in the living room, while Nell and I went and crawled into my bed. We stayed up a little late, talking and laughing, but I made sure that she didn’t stay awake past nine-thirty. She needed to get some good rest for school the next day. It was nice to have her sleep in my bed, and to my surprise, she got in but didn’t seem to want to cuddle with me. It was nice anyway, though, it had made me think of my own life. It made me think about everything I had missed out on over the last couple years. I tried not to let it break my heart.

“This is so fun, Rachel!” Nell yelled. I heard James laugh in the other room, which made me laugh, too. “What?” Nell asked.

“You yelled it, and your daddy heard you,” I told her. We both laughed, then she snuggled into me.

“Rachel, this has been the best day ever. Thank you for having me over,” she said, then she yawned. I could tell she was getting tired. I could see why Kassondra’s parents liked having her over. She was a polite girl.

“You’re welcome, Nell. I’m so glad you’re here,” I said to her. I hugged her and then she rolled over, and minutes later, she fell asleep. And after a few more minutes, I heard James make his way down the hall to my room. The door pushed open slowly, and he came inside. He walked over to my side of the bed. He got down next to me on his knees and kissed me. It was a sweet kiss, but it was so intimate, I could tell it meant so much more.

I knew at that moment that I was falling in love with him. More in love than I’d ever been in my life. But I was scared. I didn’t know how he felt about me, and I would be absolutely horrified if I confessed my feelings to him only to discover that he didn’t feel the same way about me. Something like that could send me back into the darkness.

“I just wanted to tell you good night,” he said.

With a final kiss, he walked through the door and down the hallway to the living room.

I rolled over and felt a new sense of peace overwhelm me. The feeling was warm and inviting, something I hadn’t felt in so long. Every single day, I was growing more and more thankful for both he and Nell. He didn’t know it, but he had saved my life. There was no way I could’ve kept on living the way I had been. If it wouldn’t have been for the ‘help wanted’ sign, I don’t think my life would have ever turned around. I owed all of my happiness to both James and Nell.