Chapter 4
Sunday dragged painfully.
Lisanne sat in her room, catching up with the Everest of homework that her professors had seen fit to pile on during the first two weeks of the semester.
Even Kirsty was taking things seriously, sitting at her desk with her laptop in front of her, eyes squinting at the screen.
At least Lisanne had a rehearsal with Roy and the rest of the 32o North guys to look forward to. Roy had even offered to give her a ride. Lisanne had thought that one over for a while, but she decided that having two scary looking tattooed men visiting her dorm room in the same week might get her something worse than a reputation.
“If it gets late, call me and I’ll come pick you up,” Kirsty offered kindly. “Any time up until midnight is fine. Jeez, if you’re not done by then, you won’t have any voice left to speak of!”
Lisanne agreed gratefully and set off to catch the bus.
Roy opened the club’s door after she’d pounded on it for a good three minutes.
“Sorry, baby girl. Didn’t hear you. Mike had the amps turned up to 11.”
He grinned at his own joke, and Lisanne smiled as he swept her into a rib-cracking hug.
“We’re gonna warm up with some Etta James before we go onto the new stuff. It’s always good to mix in some oldies to get the audience going. You know Something’s Got A Hold On Me?”
“Sure, didn’t Christina Aguilera cover it a couple of years back?”
Roy frowned. “Yeah, but Etta did it better. Hey, that rhymes!”
“We could try Dirrty?”
He looked at her sideways. “You think you can pull off a song like that, baby girl?”
Lisanne blushed and looked down. “I know the melody,” she said quietly, feeling like a fool. Of course, she couldn’t pull off being sexy. That was a lost cause.
The rehearsal went well and they were beginning to get a pretty good set together—it was a little bit conservative for Lisanne’s tastes—although she kept that thought to herself. About three quarters of the songs were a mix of old and modern classics with some indie rock thrown in, but the rest were original. Carlos, the bass player, could sing a good harmony and his voice blended well with Lisanne’s.
But she was still curious about one thing.
“I really like the new material,” Lisanne said, casually. “But you’ve never said which of you wrote it. I really like Last Song and On My Mind—those are beautiful.”
“A friend,” said Roy. “He doesn’t play anymore.”
Lisanne looked him in the eye. “Do you mean Daniel?”
There was a sudden silence, but Lisanne held her ground.
“You know him?” said Roy, cautiously.
“He’s in one of my classes. We’re working on an assignment together. He told me … some stuff.”
“Yeah, Dan wrote those songs,” said Roy, at last. “He carried on writing songs until about a year and a half ago. Kid was a genius.” He shook his head. “But don’t ask him about it because he won’t talk to you. Understand?”
Lisanne nodded. Yes, she understood.
The confirmation stunned her. It was only what she’d suspected for a while now, but hearing that it was Daniel who had composed those beautiful songs hurt her heart in ways she didn’t understand. She could only imagine how she’d feel if she lost her music—it was such a huge part of her life. What would it be like for your world to end like that—a slow descent into silence? She couldn’t bear it—she’d go mad.
It was amazing that Daniel was as together as he seemed—so controlled. And then Lisanne thought about the effort it must take to appear like that. She remembered his flashes of rage when she’d made assumptions about him. Not that she blamed him. In fact, she blamed herself for her casual stereotyping. Hell, no wonder he didn’t want anyone to know about him. And she realized how many value judgments she made every single day based solely on appearance: she’d assumed Kirsty was vacuous because she was pretty; she’d assumed Roy was a scary, violent criminal because of his size and his tattoos; and she’d assumed Daniel was a jerk because he kept people at arms’ length. She didn’t want to think about how shallow that made her.
Lisanne was glad to accept Roy’s offer of a ride back to the dorms, grateful that she didn’t have to call Kirsty out so late, and too tired to care what anyone thought should they see her with him.
They were quiet for most of the ride, and Lisanne was content to simply stare at the washed-out colors of the night, buildings bathed in an amber neon glow.
Eventually, Roy cleared his throat, announcing to Lisanne that he had a question for her.
“You must know Dan pretty well if he told you about himself,” he commented carefully.
“Not really. Not well.”
“Hmm, because he almost never tells anyone who hasn’t known him for years.”
Lisanne shrugged, not wanting to explain that she’d uncovered his secret by accident.
“Like I said—we’re working on an assignment together.”
“Hmm,” said Roy again, but didn’t push her.
He let her out at the dorm rooms, simply saying that he’d see her at the next rehearsal. His face was thoughtful as he drove away.
Kirsty was propped up in bed reading a book when Lisanne dragged herself through the door.
“Good rehearsal?”
“Yeah, it’s going really well,” replied Lisanne with a tired smile.
“Great! Because I’m getting together a load of people to come see you when you have your debut.”
“What? Not … not people from school?”
Kirsty rolled her eyes. “Duh! Do I know anyone else? Of course it’s people from school. Everyone’s really excited to see you. I’ve been telling them how amazing you are.”
“Kirsty! You’ve never even heard me sing! Why would you say that?”
“I’m being supportive. We’re roommates and that’s what roommates do. Besides, I know you’ll be awesome—Roy told me you were the new Adele when I met him at the club.”
Lisanne was taken aback.
“Roy said that?”
“Sure! And a load more stuff that I promised not to tell you in case you got up yourself.”
Lisanne shook her head. “No! Please don’t tell me! It’s going to be bad enough falling flat on my face without having people from school see it. Please, Kirsty, not the first gig. Maybe one later in the semester.”
“Uh-uh, I’ll be there, cheering you on. Besides, Vin wants to see you in action, too.”
“Who’s Vin?”
“Red T-shirt guy!” said Kirsty, with a giggle. “I saw him in the cafeteria today and he asked me out. We’re going for dinner and a movie tomorrow.”
“That’s great! He’s really cute.”
“Yes, he is. Although I seem to remember you said he was ‘okay’ but not your type. Of course, we all know who’s your type, don’t we? How is Daniel?”
Lisanne pretended to be very busy unpacking her purse, which as it only held her cell phone and wallet, took some serious acting skills. She couldn’t pull off indifference very well. Insouciance was harder. And casual could just fuck off.
“We’re just doing this assignment. He probably won’t even speak to me when we’re finished.”
Kirsty didn’t reply, which made Lisanne look up. Her roommate was leaning back with a small smile on her face.
“Want to take a bet on that, roomie?”
* * *
On Wednesday morning, Lisanne got a text from Daniel.
* D: Want to study and smuggle chips in library later? *
She smiled to herself. Playful Daniel was her favorite. No, wait, Sexy Daniel was number one, but playful was good, too.
She texted back immediately.
* L: Yes to study but what do I get for not reporting serious biblio violation? *
* D: You drive hard bargain! Ok—you choose flavor, I’ll buy. Good enough? *
* L: thinking about it *
* D: playing hard to get? *
* L: who’s playing? *
* D: Are you sexting me? *
“Oh my God!”
He was definitely flirting with her.
* L: shock! *
* D: bbq flavor? *
* L: and cheesy chili. 4 pm. Don’t be late. *
* D: wouldn’t dare ; ) *
Flirting, possible sexting, and a winking smiley.
The next two hours were tortuously slow. Never had Lisanne’s classical music composition seminar seemed so deadly dull. Root chords, dominants and subdominants didn’t even have the usual frisson of BDSM to enliven the proceedings. Professor Hastings behaved as if he was curing cancer, and neither a giggle nor a raised eyebrow was allowed under his watchful, querulous gaze.
Eventually, Lisanne was released—ten minutes late. Damn it! Daniel would have a field day with her being late.
Her shoulder bag thumped painfully against her hip as Lisanne jogged across the campus to the library. The quad outside was filled with people hanging out and enjoying the Fall sunshine.
She hurried inside, searching the occupied tables, looking for his trademark spiky black hair.
But when she saw Daniel, he was talking to the redhead who’d been draped all over him at the club. A cold feeling crept up from the pit of Lisanne’s stomach as she gazed at the beautiful, curvaceous girl in front of her. She couldn’t help wilting under the weight of comparison with her own meager figure.
“I’m sure I can think of something more fun than studying,” the girl said slyly, leaning forward to give Daniel a view over her impressive assets.
“I’m meeting someone for a study session, Terri.”
“I’ll write you a permission slip. You can study later.”
Then she bent down and whispered in his ear: a flirtation that had the opposite effect from the one she’d hoped for. Daniel leaned away from her, regarding her coolly.
“I’m busy, Terri,” he said curtly, then looked past her when he saw Lisanne.
“Hi,” she said, quietly. “Sorry I’m late. My class ran over.”
Terri turned and glared, a sneer on her lovely face.
“You’re kidding! A study date with a bookworm? When you get bored of her, call me.”
She stalked off, tossing her magnificent mane of hair over her shoulder as she went.
Lisanne wished someone would dig a big hole so she could quietly fall into it. Then they could shovel the dirt on top and plant some grass. Maybe a few flowers.
“Don’t let her bother you, Lis. She’s just a bitch,” said Daniel, softly.
He crumpled up a piece of paper as he spoke, and Lisanne hoped that Terri’s phone number was scrawled across it.
“It’s okay,” she said shrugging it off, even as she felt her throat tighten uncomfortably.
In truth she was used to girls like Terri talking to her with such condescension. Didn’t make it sting any less, though.
“No it isn’t okay!” he said, crossing his arms over his chest, a movement that caused his biceps to bunch up under his t-shirt.
Lisanne licked her lips as they continued to stare at each other in silence, then she remembered where she was, and turned to pull out her books, notepad and laptop.
“So,” she began, without daring to look at him, “a model for corporate governance within a framework of societal responsibility. Fun times.”
She glanced up as Daniel cracked a smile. “Yeah, and don’t forget the chips.”
Then he winked at her and she felt some of the tension fade away.
“You’re so bad!” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Better believe it, baby.”
Ninety minutes later, Lisanne’s head was ready to explode. Even though Daniel had patiently explained again (and again) the theory of subsistence marketplaces and poverty-based market opportunities, the words and phrases all blurred into one, making less and less sense.
“I’m going to flunk out of this course, I know it!” she groaned, stabbing her pen into her notebook hard enough to break the tip.
“No you won’t,” said Daniel, calmly. “I won’t let you. You’ll be fine—it’s just a lot of new stuff to take in.”
Lisanne shook her head.
“It’s like doing one of those dumb math problems: three people are driving at 20mph in a car carrying two gallons of gas and a horse doing yoga, when a car traveling at 30mph with two clowns drinking cola collides, what time is it in Tokyo? It doesn’t make any sense and the only answer I ever come up with is who cares!”
Daniel laughed. “A horse doing yoga? Did I read you right? I think you need coffee.”
“Yes,” she moaned. “I need caffeine, intravenously.”
He smiled. “I know just the place.”
While he gathered up the empty chip bags, Lisanne continued to moan and hold her head, just in case it really did split in half and her brain dribbled across the table.
She was surprised into motion when she felt his strong fingers around her wrist.
“Come on,” he said, with a smile. “IV coffee coming up.”
Lisanne followed him out of the library, grateful for his caffeinated intervention, but more astonished by the way his hand had felt on her skin—almost as if his touch burned. She was also horribly aware of the surprised stares that followed them across the campus.
Again.
If Daniel noticed, he didn’t say.
As before, his bike was waiting for them in the student parking lot.
“Miss me, baby?” he said, his tone soft and loving.
Lisanne couldn’t help laughing at the blissful expression on his face.
“Are you really talking to your motorcycle?”
“Sure! She’s the only woman in my life, aren’t you, baby?”
Was it unreasonable of Lisanne to feel jealous of an inanimate object? Because at that point, she wanted to push the bike to the ground, stamp all over its shiny bodywork, and laugh like a hyena while she did it.
Daniel ran a loving hand over the polished chrome and grinned up at Lisanne when he saw her shaking her head.
“What can I say? She’s beautiful—and she doesn’t talk back. Or eat all my chips.”
“I did not!” huffed Lisanne, guiltily.
Daniel smirked at her, then turned back to the bike.
“Don’t be jealous, baby. She’s only a human.”
“What sort of motorcycle is this?”
He shook his head in disbelief at her ignorance.
“She’s a 1969 Harley Davidson XLCH Sportster,” he answered. “Rebuilt her myself—one thousand cc engine. V2, four-stroke … too much information?”
Lisanne nodded, looking amused. He swung his leg over the saddle and held out his hand.
“Come on. Sirona doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
“You named her?”
“Of course. She’s too beautiful not to have a name.”
Boys and their toys.
“Does it mean anything?”
“Sirona is a Celtic goddess. She rules over healing.”
He shrugged, and Lisanne felt a pang. Did that mean Daniel hoped he’d be healed? Was he awaiting some miracle that would restore his hearing? She watched him carefully. Whatever pain he suffered, he held it inside. How strong must he be to do that? She didn’t know. She couldn’t imagine.
In silence, he passed her the spare helmet and fastened his own. He nodded, and she latched her arms around his waist. This was, by far, her favorite part of riding with him. She snuggled into his solid warmth, tightening her grip.
A short trip later, and they were back at the diner.
Lisanne was a little disappointed; she’d imagined they were going somewhere different—somewhere fresh and exciting. But then she realized that she was being stupid and selfish. It was no surprise that Daniel preferred to go somewhere he knew. He had enough challenges in his life without wondering if he’d be able to lip read a new waitress in a new coffee shop.
He led her to the same booth as last time, and like last time Maggie sauntered over to serve them.
“Back again, Danny. You just can’t get enough of my coffee, huh, kid?”
He winced slightly at the diminutive of his name, but didn’t bother to correct her.
“Hey, Maggie.”
“And if your girl is going to be a regular, you ought to darn well introduce her.”
His girl?
“Yeah, sorry. This is Lisanne. Lisanne, Maggie.”
“Hi, Maggie,” she said, feeling shy.
“You treat him good, honey,” said the waitress. “He’s a royal pain in the ass, like most men, but he’s one of the better ones. I’ll get you two of the specials.”
Lisanne had no idea what the ‘specials’ were but she found Maggie too daunting to ask. Instead she watched as the woman poured them each a coffee—black—ruffled Daniel’s hair, and wandered away.
She couldn’t help giggling at the chagrined expression on Daniel’s face.
“I can see why you keep coming here, Danny.”
He groaned. “God! Don’t you start! I was just beginning to like you.”
A warm glow heated Lisanne from the inside and damn it if she didn’t feel her traitorous cheeks turn pink.
Daniel sipped his coffee, then looked up and smiled again.
“Roy says rehearsals are going well.”
“Um, yeah, I think so. I mean, they seem pretty pleased. I don’t know. I’m sure I’ll be a bag of nerves on the night.”
“Nah, you’ll be fine. He says you’re a natural. He’d know.”
“I’ll probably make a complete fool of myself, trip over the cables, electrocute everyone, and break a leg—all before the opening chords.”
Daniel laughed. “At least no one would ever forget it.”
“Oh no,” she moaned. “It’s going to be a nightmare. And Kirsty—my roommate—she’s getting up a group of people from school to come. I wish she wouldn’t but it’s too late to stop her.”
For some reason Daniel didn’t look pleased, but he twitched a shoulder and said, “She’s just being a friend.”
“Yeah, she’s pretty awesome.”
“Is she the girl you sit next to in Business class?”
“Yes.”
“Huh. She’s hot.”
Lisanne’s heart shuddered. Was this the reason why he was being so nice to her? He was really interested in Kirsty? Yeah, and why was that even a surprise to her?
Lisanne stared down into her coffee. “She’s got a boyfriend,” she blurted out, even though it wasn’t strictly true since Kirsty had only had one date with Vin so far.
“Yeah?” said Daniel, without much interest.
Lisanne closed her eyes. He was probably the kind of guy who didn’t care whether a girl had a boyfriend or not. He could still have whoever he wanted.
By the time Maggie returned with the specials—chicken-fried steak with gravy, mashed potatoes, and biscuits—Lisanne had lost her appetite.
“Guess you filled up on chips, huh?” said Daniel, watching her push the untouched biscuits across her plate.
Lisanne didn’t reply, and continued staring at the ruins of her meal.
“You could have had anything from the menu,” he said, gently. “Maggie just knows what I like. I’m sorry—I should have told her to wait and see what you wanted.”
“No, it’s fine,” she said, quietly. “Actually I’m kind of tired. I think I’ll grab a taxi. You don’t have to take me back.”
Daniel frowned.
“It’s no problem. Besides, I was the one who brought you out here.”
“It’s fine,” she said again, not meeting his eyes.
“For fuck’s sake, Lis!” he said, crossly. “What’s crawled up your ass?”
“Nothing!” she said, hotly. “I’m fine.” Which was a big fat lie. “I told you. I’m tired.”
“Whatever,” he muttered, coldly.
He ducked out of the booth to pay the check before Lisanne could say anything.
Lisanne was miserable. She felt 33% angry; 33% hurt; 33% dumb; and 0% surprised. She didn’t know what happened to that last 1%—she really hated math.
She tugged on her jacket and dug out her cell phone to call a cab. But long fingers reached over her shoulder and pulled it from her hand.
“What are you doing?”
“I said I’d take you back and I will,” said Daniel, with a tight voice.
“No thanks.”
He growled with frustration.
“Why are you being such a bitch?”
“I can’t imagine,” she said, coldly.
She knew she was being unfair—it wasn’t like she was his girlfriend or anything. But, come on! He was talking about checking out her roommate in front of her. Did he think her feelings didn’t count even a tiny bit?
He tried one last time.
“I’m guessing I’ve done something to make you mad, but I have no fucking clue what it is.”
“Give me my damn phone, Daniel!”
Looking furious, he tossed it back to her. She fumbled and came close to dropping it on the floor.
Now she was pissed as well as upset.
“You could have broken it!”
“I didn’t know you couldn’t fucking catch for shit,” he snarled back at her.
“You’re such a jerk!” she hissed, tears leaking from her eyes.
He stopped suddenly.
“Are you crying?”
“No!”
“Yes, you are.”
“Leave me alone, Daniel,” she said, her voice shaky.
Lisanne stormed out of the diner, ignoring the curious or concerned stares of other customers, and turned her back on Daniel, not wanting to see him or talk to him.
He grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around.
“Will you just tell me what the fuck is wrong?”
Lisanne stuck out her lip mulishly and Daniel dropped his shoulders in defeat.
“Just get on the damn bike, Lis.”
Wondering whether it was worth arguing the point, Lisanne stood with her arms wrapped protectively around her body.
Daniel’s face morphed from anger to resignation.
“Do what you want. I’ll wait till your cab gets here.”
Mentally, Lisanne was giving herself an ass-kicking for being so damn stubborn. Victory in the battle of wills had come at a very high cost. She scrolled down to the number of a local taxi firm and dialed.
“They’ll be here in five minutes,” she said, in a small voice. “You don’t have to wait.”
Daniel didn’t speak, just leaned against his bike, gazing off into the distance, his face an unreadable mask.
Lisanne stood in awkward silence, fiddling with her phone just to have something to do with her hands.
She was both relieved and resentful when the cab arrived. Then puzzled and confused when Daniel opened the door for her and handed the driver two ten dollar bills to pay the fare.
Lisanne didn’t even have a chance to thank him before the driver pulled away.
She replayed the afternoon in her head. It had been fine until he’d admitted that he thought Kirsty was hot. Lisanne knew that her little temper tantrum had been nothing more than plain old jealousy. Daniel hadn’t done anything wrong: she, on the other hand, could probably have won the bitch of the year award.
She chewed on a lip, wondering what to do—wondering if there was any way of salvaging the situation.
After writing and deleting at least four different messages, she finally picked one that said enough but not too much.
* L: thank you for paying for the taxi *
There was no reply.