Chapter 7
Daniel was going over 90mph when he caught the flicker of blue and red lights in his mirrors. He cursed loudly and colorfully as he pulled over to the curb. After fighting with Lisanne, his day didn’t show any signs of improving.
The cop got out of the cruiser, wearily shaking his head, and motioned for Daniel to take off his helmet.
“Do you know how fast you were going, son?”
“No, sir,” Daniel replied, truthfully.
“Well, my speed gun is telling me 91mph. That’s pretty reckless, don’t you think.”
Daniel nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“You want to tell me why you were going that fast?”
Forgetting all the advice that Zef had given him should he ever be arrested, Daniel said the first thing that came into his head.
“I had a fight with my girlfriend. I wasn’t thinking.”
The cop looked at him, sympathetically.
“Well, I can understand, but the speed limit here is 55mph. Now, I’m a nice guy, so I’m not going to arrest you, but you will be getting a speeding ticket, son. License and registration.”
Daniel pulled them out of his wallet and handed the documents to the officer, without speaking.
“Wait there,” instructed the police officer, as he ambled back to his cruiser and ran Daniel’s details through his computer. Whatever he saw made him frown.
He walked back to Daniel, scratching his head.
“According to my records there’s a Detective Dickinson who wants to speak with you at the station. I’m going to have to take you in.”
Daniel swallowed hard, a cool shiver rippling down his spine.
“What? What for? I’ve never heard of that guy?”
“Can’t tell you that, son, but you’re going to have to come with me. Look, I’m not arresting you, so just take it easy, okay?”
Daniel didn’t even try to argue. He knew there was no point.
The cop sighed—sometimes he hated his job. The kid really did look as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“That’s a nice bike you’ve got there. Sportster, huh? Rebuild?”
Daniel nodded.
“You do that work yourself, son?”
“Yes, sir. Took me two years.”
The cop held in another sigh.
“Well, we’ll just have to leave your motorcycle here for now. You won’t be at the station long, and you can call a friend to bring you back to pick it up. Or I could get it towed, but that would end up costing you more…”
Daniel shook his head, and the cop sighed again before helping him into the back of the cruiser. At least he hadn’t been handcuffed.
Daniel felt sick to his stomach. He could expect a hefty fucking fine, which there was no way he could pay right now—unless he sold his bike. The bike he’d worked on for two years. Or dip into his college fund. Either way, Zef would have his balls.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
And he only had his own stupid dumb ass to blame.
If things weren’t bad enough already, they got a whole lot worse when he arrived at the police station.
The nice cop wrote up his notes while a bastard fuckwit of a sergeant nearly turned cartwheels, when he learned that Daniel was Zef Colton’s brother.
“Well, isn’t this interesting. You’re the little brother, huh? About time we saw you in here. Your brother is on our Christmas List. Let’s try and make you welcome. We can find a nice, cozy cell with your name on it, and I think my colleague Detective Dickinson would like to talk to you.”
“I want to make a phone call.”
“I’m sure you do. You can wait.”
The sergeant looked back to the computer screen and typed something.
“Now empty out your pockets,” he said, still looking at the computer.
Unable to see the man’s face, Daniel just stood there.
“I said, empty your damn pockets!” shouted the cop, looking up.
“What for? I haven’t been arrested.”
“You’re pissing me off, Colton, which is pretty dumb. Watch your smart mouth or you’ll be arrested on suspicion of a DUI.”
God damn it—he was fucked.
“I want to make a phone call.”
“Later.”
The nice cop looked irritated, but Mr. Really Not Fucking Charming was the senior officer. Throwing Daniel a sympathetic look, the nice cop walked away, shaking his head.
Daniel put his smokes, lighter, wallet, keys, and change into the box in front of him. The contents were logged and tipped into a clear plastic bag.
“I need to text someone to go get my bike. I’ve left her…”
But his words trailed off as the officer pulled Daniel’s cell phone from his hand and shoved it into the bag with the rest of his belongings, then he was escorted into an interview room, by the man he assumed was Detective Dickinson.
The detective looked tired and crumpled, but his eyes were sharp, and his mouth curled with disgust as he stared at Daniel.
Roughly, Dickinson pushed him into a chair.
“Well, well, Zef Colton’s little brother. Another apple that didn’t fall too far from the tree, huh? Bet your mom and dad would be really proud.”
“Fuck you!” snarled Daniel.
“You’ve got a dirty mouth, kid. And you really don’t want to piss me off.”
“I want my phone call,” said Daniel, in a sullen tone.
“We can just have a little chat first,” said the detective, in a bored voice. “It’ll be in your best interest to answer my questions. Of course, you’re free to walk out any time … but I really wouldn’t recommend it.”
Daniel really didn’t think it would be in his best interest to answer anything either, but he was worried about the repercussions of just walking the hell out of there.
“Look, kid,” said the detective, in a more conciliatory tone, “Answer a few questions and the speeding fine just disappears. I can make it go away. I’m not after your brother—I’m after the asshat who’s been flooding the streets with cheap crystal meth. Who’s your brother’s supplier?”
Daniel was silent. Zef had always told him that he just dealt in some weed and coke. He didn’t know whether or not to believe Dickinson, but he really didn’t want to.
“Come on, kid. You want that shit on the streets? I know you’re in school, trying to stay clean. It’s your brother who’s fucking things up for you.”
“You don’t know anything,” said Daniel, hotly.
Dickinson smiled. He could tell he had the boy rattled.
“Do you know how crank works?” asked the detective. “It destroys dopamine receptors in your brain, so you can’t feel pleasure. Then there’s psychotic behavior, paranoia, hallucinations, death. But before that happens, the blood vessels constrict, it cuts off the steady flow of blood to all parts of the body. Do you know what that means? Your body doesn’t heal right. It starts with bad acne, sores, that kind of thing. Maybe you’ve heard of ‘meth mouth’? The mouth’s acids eat away at the tooth enamel, so your teeth rot and fall out. Nice. You want to be responsible for that?”
Daniel closed his eyes, shutting out the words that made him want to vomit. He didn’t believe the shit that Dickinson was pissing in his ear, but he didn’t want to know any more either.
He jumped when Dickinson slapped his hands down hard on the back of Daniel’s chair.
“I want my fucking phone call!” snapped Daniel, whose patience was running pretty damn low.
Detective Dickinson threw his hands in the air.
“Fine, make your call.”
“I want to send a text from my phone.”
“No, you can use the phone out there.”
Daniel began to panic. He’d have no way of knowing whether or not Zef had answered the phone. He didn’t even know if he’d still be at the house.
Lisanne. He’d call Lis. She always answered his texts quickly. He prayed she’d take the call.
Thank fuck he knew her number off by heart.
He dialed and counted to ten into the receiver, hoping that she’d understand … understand that he had no clue if she was there listening to him, or if a machine was picking up the message or … God, he just hoped she wouldn’t hang up. He hoped she’d wait for him to leave a message.
“Lis, it’s me. Daniel. I’m in a whole shitload of trouble. I got pulled over for speeding. I’m at the police station. Can you get a message to Zef for me, please, baby? His number is 912-555 0195. I’m sorry I got mad at you, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Then he hung up, not knowing if she’d heard him. He knew the smart thing to do would be to tell Dickinson that he couldn’t hear what the fuck he was saying. But he couldn’t bring himself to give the bastard the satisfaction.
Dickinson continued to fire questions at him, even though they weren’t answered. Concentrating on controlling his breathing, Daniel closed his eyes, willing the tension and anxiety away.
Eventually Dickinson gave up and left him in the interrogation room ‘to think about it’.
It was nearly 1 AM and Daniel had resigned himself to spending the night. He wondered if he’d gotten the wrong number for Lisanne, or maybe the message hadn’t recorded, or she hadn’t heard it. Maybe she was too angry with the way he’d treated her to care. He had no way of knowing.
He spent a restless night by himself. At one point he was allowed a bathroom break and through the barred windows he could see that pale light was leaking into the gray sky, the blackness fading with the dawn.
Sometime after 7 AM, Dickinson came back. He paced back and forth spewing out his questions. Daniel kept his eyes fixed on the table most of the time, but every now and then he’d glance up.
After another hour, even the detective’s furious energy had waned, and he rubbed his eyes tiredly.
“Fine. You’re free to go,” snarled Dickinson, at last. “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again, little brother. It’s only a matter of time before you’re part of the family business—if you’re not already.”
Daniel stood up shakily as he was led out of the room by Dickinson who watched with narrowed eyes.
He collected his belongings, relieved that the assholes hadn’t arrested him.
* * *
Lisanne woke up with light leaking through the curtains above her bed. She rolled onto her side and grabbed her phone.
“Holy shit!”
She leapt up, vaguely aware of Kirsty’s sleepy grumbles from the other side of the room.
“Kirsty! Get your ass out of bed! I put my phone on silent—we’ve slept right through. It’s nearly 8:30!”
Hurriedly, Lisanne pulled on her robe, picked up her towel and caddy, and trotted to the bathroom.
The water was cooler than usual, and she shivered under the puny flow. At least it had woken her up.
Kirsty, however, had fallen back asleep.
“Come on, lazybones. Rise and shine,” said Lisanne, as she twitched Kirsty’s duvet.
“Gerroff,” was the mumbled reply.
Lisanne shrugged. They went through the same routine every day. If it wasn’t for Lisanne, Kirsty wouldn’t have made any of her morning classes.
Lisanne pulled on jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt, then turned her phone on. There was a missed call from a number she didn’t recognize, and one voice message.
As she listened, all the color drained from her face. Her knees gave way and she collapsed onto the bed. Daniel had left the message last night.
She played the message again and scrawled down Zef’s number. She had to call back four times before he picked up.
When he heard who it was and why she’d called, he wasn’t happy. Which was putting it mildly. Especially when Lisanne insisted on coming with him, threatening to go directly to the police station if he didn’t pick her up.
Zef was furious when they finally reached the police station.
“Stay here!” he barked at Lisanne, who was sitting stiffly beside him.
‘Furious’ was probably the understatement of the year. Rage poured from him in heated pulses, his face was flushed and his teeth were clenched as he saw Daniel being led out by one of the police officers.
He looked at Zef with a guilty expression as he put his wallet away.
“Are you a fucking idiot?” Zef hissed at Daniel. “Because you’re fucking acting like one! I do all this shit so you can stay clean, then you go and fuck it up like this.”
“I’m sorry, man. I wasn’t thinking.”
“That is stating the really fucking obvious.”
He grabbed Daniel’s arm and dragged him outside, where the too interested cops couldn’t see. Then he pushed him up against the wall, his hands bunched around the collar of Daniel’s t-shirt.
“Get off!”
“Not until I’ve knocked some fucking sense into you!” snarled his brother.
Daniel shoved him hard and Zef took a pace backward, swinging a fist at the same time. It caught Daniel on the cheek and he fell sideways, landing awkwardly on one knee.
Pain shot through him and he was glad he hadn’t had his tongue between his teeth, or he’d have bitten the damn thing clean off.
Lisanne leapt out of the car the moment Zef had pushed Daniel against the wall. She was too late to stop their fight, but she was damn sure she wouldn’t let it go any further. She tried to help Daniel up as Zef stood behind her, panting hard.
Daniel felt hands on his shoulder again and he automatically pushed them off.
Lisanne tried to soothe him.
“It’s me, Daniel. It’s me.”
He looked up and saw her face creased with concern.
“Baby doll!” he gasped, leaning his head against her body as her arms wrapped around him.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, bro!” said Zef.
Lisanne turned on him, violently.
“Don’t you touch him! Leave him alone!”
She helped Daniel stand, holding his arm as he staggered slightly.
“Just get in the damn car,” said Zef, stiffly. “I’ll take you to get Sirona—if she’s still there.”
“Take Lis home first,” Daniel muttered.
Zef looked as if he wanted to argue, but held back whatever he was going to say.
The drive was silent, violence simmering between the two brothers. Lisanne could see Zef glancing in the rearview mirror, his face dark and hard. Beside her, Daniel was leaning back with his eyes closed, a red mark blossoming on his cheek.
When they reached the dorm rooms, Lisanne gently stroked Daniel’s face to make him open his eyes.
“We’re here,” she said, softly. “Do you want to come in? Kirsty could drive you home later.”
Zef started to argue, but Daniel shot his brother a look.
“Yeah, I’d like that, Lis. Sirona can wait.”
He climbed out of the car awkwardly, rubbing his sore knee. With a final, furious look, Zef drove off, tires screeching, leaving the pungent smell of burning rubber hanging in the air with his disapproval.
Lisanne was worried about Daniel. He was quiet, and the fire that she so loved seemed to have dimmed.
He dragged himself up the stairs to her dorm room, his shoulders slumped and his head hanging down. Maybe it was just tiredness, Lisanne told herself. He couldn’t have slept much, being in a police station all night. She felt guilty again—while she’d been snuggled up in her own bed, he was dealing with God knows what.
She pushed open the door, relieved that Kirsty was out at morning classes. Tugging his hand, she led Daniel to her bed and pushed him gently, telling him to sit.
“I’ll make you a coffee,” she said, quietly.
He nodded but didn’t speak, instead unbuckling his boots and lying back against the pillows. By the time Lisanne had made the coffee, he was fast asleep, curled up on his side.
Carefully, she eased down onto the bed next to him, and picked up her book to read, occasionally sipping her coffee. Daniel sighed heavily and wrapped his left arm across her waist, pushing his head into her hip.
In silence, studying his face, Lisanne could see the tiredness, with dark rings visible under his eyes. His cheeks were covered in stubble and she blushed, wondering how his light scruff would feel if they kissed again.
She crossed her legs at the ankle and drank some more coffee, willing her body to relax. Today she seemed to be permanently turned on—her body tuned to Daniel, ready for sex.
She could hardly believe it. She didn’t know it was possible to feel like that. She didn’t know that girls could be as horny as guys. But that was the truth.
And then she felt selfish for having those thoughts, when he’d been having such a horrible time. Right now, he needed her friendship. She frowned, wondering if that was all he’d ever want from her. But yesterday … that had gone far beyond friendship.
She looked down at him again. His soft lips were parted, his bruised cheek slightly swollen. Lisanne kicked herself for not having gotten him some ice. Not that she’d have had time: he’d fallen asleep right away. His eyes trembled slightly under the closed lids and she wondered what he was dreaming about. The long, dark lashes were fanned out across his cheeks and, if it hadn’t been for his stubble, he’d have looked much younger.
Lisanne sighed and tried to turn her attention back to her book. Daniel didn’t move except to hook his left leg over hers, so for nearly two hours, she read, with Daniel curled around her. She loved the fact that in his sleep he seemed to crave her. She wished it was the same when he was awake.
Suddenly the door flew open, making Lisanne jump. Kirsty burst in with Shawna tagging along behind her.
“Oh, God! Sorry!” said Kirsty, coming to an abrupt halt, her eyes wide, fixed on Daniel.
Shawna’s face resembled someone who’d sucked up a quart of lemon juice.
Daniel shifted sleepily and then sat up, yawning.
“Oh shit, sorry, baby doll. Did I fall asleep? What time is it?”
“Three o’clock,” said Lisanne.
“Crap. Sirona! I should get going,” he grumbled to himself. “Hey, Kirsty.”
Kirsty waved, while Shawna crooned, “Hi Daniel,” in a sickly singsong voice.
Of course, her tone was completely lost on him, even if her flirty look wasn’t.
“Shawna,” he said, with a curt nod.
Lisanne was too distracted to care that Shawna was being her usual bitchy self. Her main concern was him.
“Should I make you another coffee? Yours is cold now.”
He shook his head, mumbling about business to take care of. Lisanne grimaced, wondering what that might entail. And he definitely needed a ride.
“Kirsty, could you drive Daniel?”
“What happened to your motorcycle?” asked Shawna, rudely interrupting Kirsty’s answer.
Nosy bitch, thought Lisanne.
“Sure, no problem,” said Kirsty, reaching for her keys.
That was one of the things that Lisanne had come to love about Kirsty. She acted like a cheerleader on helium half the time, but when she could see something was important, she didn’t hesitate to help.
But Daniel rubbed his eyes and yawned again.
“Nah. S’okay, thanks. I’ve got some things to take care of,” he repeated, stretching his arms above his head, and innocently flexing his muscles in a way that made Shawna drool openly. “I’ll text Roy. He’ll give me a ride.”
He swung his legs over the bed and started to pull on his boots. Lisanne felt the loss of him next to her immediately.
Before he left, he smiled at her and kissed her hair.
“I’ll see you in class tomorrow, okay. Text me later?”
“Sure,” she said, trying to smile.
He winked, nodded at Kirsty, and completely ignored Shawna, who didn’t even say goodbye but turned and trotted after him, firing questions to his back.
As soon as they’d gone, Kirsty swept into interrogation mode.
“Oh my God! Are you guys fucking? That was so sweet the way he was curled up around you. Wow! Daniel Colton! Is he really good in bed? On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate him?”
Lisanne flushed red and tried to laugh it off.
“We’re just friends, Kirsty.”
“Bullshit! I saw you, Lis. He’s totally into you. And it’s obvious how you feel about him. Wow! Well, now you can give me the details.”
Lisanne shook her head.
“I have a violin lesson to get to. I’ll see you later.”
Kirsty pouted. “Fine! But you’re not getting off the hook that easily, missy. I want to know everything. By the way, why did he need a ride?”
“Oh,” said Lisanne, feeling uneasy. “He, um, he had bike trouble.”
Which wasn’t a complete lie.
She grabbed her violin case and her shoulder bag with her music scores, and hurried out of the room.
Her concentration had gone to hell and Professor Crawford raised his eyebrows in surprise. All Lisanne could do was apologize again, and promise to try harder next week.
It didn’t help that she’d heard a text message pop up on her cell phone, and she was burning with curiosity to see if it was from Daniel.
As soon as her lesson was finished, before Professor Crawford had even closed the door behind him, Lisanne dove into her bag to find her phone.
The text had been from Daniel.
* D: Thanx *
She looked at the short message and felt tears in her eyes. How dumb was that? He’d sent her a text. He’d thanked her—what was the damn drama?
Irritated for being so pathetic, she dragged her weary ass back to the dorm room. Unfortunately, Kirsty was still there, and attacked her the minute she walked in the door.
“Spill! What’s with you and Daniel? Are you guys dating?” Then she looked at Lisanne more closely. “Because if you are, you look kind of miserable.”
Lisanne sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“Of course it is,” said Kirsty, sympathetically. “He’s a guy—their brains are wired differently. Well, most guys’ brains are wired to their dicks, so that’s pretty straightforward.”
Lisanne tried to laugh, but her heart wasn’t in it.
“I don’t really know what we are,” she said, honestly. “We’re friends, I know that. And sometimes I think we’re more than that, but … I just don’t know.”
Kirsty nodded. “I get it. Mixed messages, huh? You know I’m not going to tell anyone anything, right, Lis? I mean, not even Shawna. I know she acts like we’re BFFs, but I’m not dumb. She’s kind of a bitch to you. But that’s because she’s jealous. She’d love to be getting some Daniel Colton shaped action. She doesn’t get what he sees in you—oh, I don’t mean it like that,” she said, hastily. “It’s just you don’t act all flirty and … you know what I mean.”
“Thanks, Kirsty … I think. I just…” Lisanne sighed again, having no clue how to finish the sentence, let alone explain her feelings to Kirsty.
“Okay, well let’s do the checklist.”
Lisanne couldn’t help laughing at that: Kirsty and her damn checklists.
“Has he kissed you?”
“Yes.”
“Tongues?”
“Um, yes. Once.”
“Just once? When was that?”
Lisanne blushed. “Yesterday.”
Kirsty nodded encouragingly. “Well, that’s good.”
Good. Amazing. Sensational. Out of this world.
“It is?”
“Sure! You guys have been friends since the start of the semester—sort of. So if you’ve only just done tongues, that’s progress.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Has he taken you on a date?”
That was a tough one. They had been out together, but neither of them had ever called it a date.
“Um, no, yes, maybe. I’m not sure.”
“Oh,” said Kirsty, in a way that indicated this wasn’t good.
“Oh?”
“Honey, if you’re not sure it was a date, then it wasn’t. A guy has to ask you on a date for it to be a date. It’s different from just hanging out together.”
Lisanne sighed. That sounded logical.
Kirsty continued.
“So, when you kissed, did ya do anything else?”
Lisanne shifted uncomfortably. “Like what?”
Kirsty rolled her eyes. “Like, did he feel you up at all?”
Lisanne’s face flushed, thinking of the awesome orgasm that Daniel had given her.
Kirsty smiled smugly. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ then.” Her smile faded. “There’s really only one answer, Lis—you have to ask him where you stand. Guys can be pretty dumb. You have to say, ‘Hey? Is this a date?’ Or, ‘Hooked up with any other girls lately?’ You know, make it clear.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Why not?”
“Well,” said Lisanne, twisting a stray thread from her t-shirt around her finger, “What if he says ‘no’? What if he isn’t interested in me?”
“Then he says ‘no’, but at least you won’t be pining for something that isn’t going to happen. It’s like ripping off the band-aid—you gotta do it fast because it’ll hurt less in the long run.”
It sounded like good advice: Lisanne just didn’t know if she’d be brave enough to do it.
“Have you slept with him yet?”
Lisanne shook her head.
“Do you want to?”
Lisanne looked up into Kirsty’s kind eyes.
“Yes, but not if it’s because he feels sorry for me.”
“Oh, sweetie,” said Kirsty, patting her hand. “All guys want sex—that’s a given. But you have to decide if that’s all you want. And I know you, Lis. You’re the kind of girl who wants the whole package. And Daniel … look, he seems nice—he’s different with you—but he doesn’t have a great track record. He’s definitely the love ‘em and leave ‘em type.”
“But if I sleep with him, maybe he’ll…”
“Don’t even think that! I mean it, Lis. Some girls are fine having one-night stands. Whatever. Good for them. But you’re not like that. And you’ll feel shit about yourself if you do it. It’s just not worth it. Look, I can see that Daniel cares about you—I mean, you guys are friends. And that’s good. Sex can really fuck things up.” She giggled when she’d realized how that sounded, and Lisanne couldn’t help smiling. “Yeah, well, you know what I mean.”
“So what do I do?” asked Lisanne, her smile worn away.
“Wish I could tell you, hon. Talk to him. You’ll figure it out. Look—Vin and I are going to that new Mexican place with a bunch of his frat house friends. You’d be doing me a favor if you come with us.”
“Thanks, Kirsty, but I think I’ll just have a quiet night in.”
“Okay, if you change your mind, text me. But don’t wait up.”
“Pajama party with Vin?”
Kirsty winked. “Something like that.”
* * *
It had taken him a while to shake off Shawna. Girl was persistent, but he’d seen the way she treated Lisanne and he wasn’t the least bit interested in someone who was such a bitch—and hot she was not.
Daniel stubbed out his smoke when he saw Roy’s battered Dodge Ram pull up.
“What’s up? Where’re your wheels, man?”
Daniel sighed. “I got pulled over for speeding. I thought I was gonna get arrested for reckless driving, but the fuckers were more interested in Zef.”
Roy shot him a look.
“I didn’t give them anything.”
“But they didn’t hold you,” said Roy, suspiciously.
“Fuck, man! You think I’d say something—about my own brother?”
“About your brother, no.”
Daniel looked at Roy incredulously. “You think I’d sell you out?” He knew that Roy sold a little weed on the side.
Roy chewed on his words for a while before he answered. “No, I guess not.”
Daniel was slightly mollified but still annoyed that Roy could even think he’d do a deal with the cops. He didn’t want to ask him if Dickinson was right about the meth-dealing. The larger part of him didn’t want to know. Ignorance wasn’t bliss, but it could be a damn sight more comfortable than an ugly truth.
“Anyway, they did hold me. Had my ass in a police station all last night.”
“Cops rough you up?” said Roy, his eyes flicking over Daniel’s face.
Daniel angled the truck’s rearview mirror toward him and saw the dark bruise on his cheek.
“Fuck. No, that was Zef.”
Roy sighed. “He worries about you—you’re his little brother.”
Daniel stared out of the window and didn’t reply. Roy tapped his arm.
“Where we going, man?”
“Sirona. Cops made me leave her at the side of the road. Fuck knows what’s happened to her.”
“Aw, hell! Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have got her for you.”
“Cops took my phone.”
Roy sighed. “How much was the fine?”
“A thousand dollars.”
“Oh, yeah? And where are you gonna find that kind of spare money?”
“College fund.”
“Oh, man! No wonder Zef was whaling on you. He takes that shit pretty damn serious.”
“It’s no big deal. I’ve got three years of school yet. I can work summers in the garage. I’ll earn that back easy.”
“Just make sure you do.”
“Fuck, Roy! When did you turn into Martha Stewart?” Roy laughed out loud and Daniel couldn’t help grinning. “Okay, bad example—how about Dave Ramsey?”
Roy pointed up ahead and Daniel’s smile widened. Sirona was parked where he’d left her and still had two wheels. Things were looking up.
“Thanks, man,” he said to Roy.
“No worries. Stay out of trouble.”
Daniel climbed out of the truck and thumped on the side. Roy peeled away, giving Daniel the bird as he drove off.
“Fucker,” Daniel grumbled to himself.
But running his hands over Sirona’s chrome, he began to feel better.
“Hey, baby. Miss me?”
She was hard work, this motorcycle. Not like a modern Japanese import. Nope, no easy push button start for his baby.
He bent down to turn on the gas, pulled out the choke, opened the throttle fully, primed it with a couple of kicks, then he felt the vibrations as the kick-start made her spring alive, pulsing through his body. He could feel her.
He rode home, keeping within the speed limit the whole way. He couldn’t risk losing her again.
But his good mood didn’t last long. As soon as Zef heard him pull up, he was outside and in Daniel’s face. Roy stood there, grimacing.
“Tell me you’re fucking joking?” shouted Zef. “You’re using your college fund to pay that fucking fine?”
Daniel stood his ground as Zef’s eyes blazed with fury, and Roy looked more than a little uncomfortable.
Daniel glanced over to his brother’s friend. He didn’t blame Roy—Zef would have found out sooner or later.
“Mom and dad saved that money for you to go to school and get your degree. They didn’t work their butts off so you could piss it up against the wall to pay for a fucking speeding ticket.”
“I know that!” Daniel yelled back. “But I didn’t have a choice. I worked on Sirona for two fucking years so I wouldn’t have to take the bus—I’m not going to sell her to pay some shitty fine.”
“Then you shouldn’t have got caught speeding, you dumb fuck!”
“Do you think I don’t fucking know that?!”
“No, I don’t. And why the hell are you dating that singer? That is just fucking mental! Do you want to be reminded every day? Because I remember you bleeding all over me when you couldn’t play your music any more, and now you’re dating a singer?”
“We’re not dating, we’re friends. We…”
“Bullshit!”
Roy stepped between them, placing his massive hands on their chests and pushing them apart.
“Take it down a notch, guys. It’s done now. No use having a shit fit.”
Zef glared at him. “Butt the fuck out, Roy. This is family business.”
“No, it’s my business,” snapped Daniel, “and I’m outta here.”
He turned on his heel, needing some space. He had to get his head together and there was only one person he wanted to see.
* D: can I see you? Are you alone? *
Lisanne’s reply was instant.
* L: K out with Vin. Am home alone. LA xx *
Feeling relieved, he pulled his bike around, heading for the dorms, and to the one person who seemed to understand him.
Just a quick stop at the liquor store first.
It wasn’t open house hours at the dorm rooms, so Daniel snuck in via the fire exit that the girls kept open, allowing their boyfriends to visit. It was the worst kept secret on campus.
He knocked on Lisanne’s door and she opened it immediately.
“Hi.”
“Hi. Are you okay? Did you get your bike back?”
He nodded wearily as she pushed the door open wide. He walked in, kissing her quickly on the cheek, and slumped down on her bed.
“Yeah.”
“So, it was all okay?”
“Pretty much.”
He couldn’t face telling her that he’d had to spend a chunk of money from his college fund, or that Zef had told him not to date her. That shit was just too raw to talk about.
“I brought beer,” he said, shrugging out of his leather jacket and pulling a six-pack from a paper bag.
“Oh! Um, I don’t really drink.”
“S’okay. I do.” He snapped the tab on the first can and chugged almost half of it.
Lisanne watched him nervously, wondering if he simply wanted somewhere to get drunk. He looked up and saw the expression on her face.
“Sorry. I should have asked. Do you mind?”
“Um, no. It’s fine.”
He sighed. “Shit, I’m doing everything wrong. Sit with me?”
Lisanne climbed onto the end of the bed and sat cross-legged, facing him.
“Look, I’m really sorry about how I was before. You know, yesterday. I just … fuck, this is hard.” He stared down at his fingers.
Lisanne waited for him to continue
“It was really good yesterday. Before … I wasn’t expecting … I mean, we’re friends, right? And I don’t want to do anything to fuck that up. But I don’t want you to think that what we did … ah, shit.”
His stumbling words ground to a halt again. But he was trying. He was really trying.
“Why were you so mad at me?” she said, quietly.
He met her gaze. “Because you made it sound like it was nothing. Like I just go around getting off random girls.”
“Don’t you?”
Daniel scowled at her. “No!”
“How many girls have you slept with this semester?”
“Other than you?” he said, raising his eyebrows.
They were both thinking of him falling asleep on her bed that morning.
“You know what I mean, but if you want me to rephrase: How many girls have you had sex with?”
He chewed his lip for a few seconds, and took a large gulp of beer.
“Three.”
“Altogether?”
“Three this semester.”
Jeez!
“How many in total?”
“Um…”
There was a long, uncomfortable pause.
Lisanne stared. “You don’t know?”
“Christ! Give me a break! I don’t exactly mark notches on my bedpost!”
She folded her arms across her chest. “Make a guess. A wild stab,” she added, sarcastically.
“Maybe thirty.”
Lisanne swallowed.
“Maybe thirty-five,” he said, quietly.
She’d guessed it would be a high number, but it was still quite a shock.
“Oh,” she said, trying to keep her face blank, but knowing he could probably read her expression perfectly.
“Why are we even talking about this?” he muttered, as much to himself as to her. Then he looked up. “But you’re only the second girl I’ve ever slept with,” he added.
“What do you mean?”
He rubbed his hands over his hair in frustration.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t date. Girls don’t want to date me—they just want to fuck me. And I like fucking. But none of them know about me: you’re the only one. The others never stick around long enough to find out.”
“You mean you never give them the chance.”
“Whatever. It’s the same thing.”
“Not really.”
“Fuck, Lisanne! I’m trying to say … I want…”
“What?”
“You’re not making this easy…”
“Sorry, it’s just intimidating.”
“What is?”
“All the girls you’ve slept with. It makes me feel…” she hesitated, fishing to find the right words to express how desperately inexperienced and inadequate she felt.
“What does it make you feel?”
Lisanne ran through a list of words in her mind: pathetic, uptight, a virgin.
“What does it make you feel, Lis? Because it’s all bullshit. You … me … it’s just different, and …yesterday, when you said about my reputation…”
Suddenly, Lisanne had a light bulb moment—she understood. “Oh! I hurt your feelings yesterday?”
He shrugged one shoulder.
“Daniel, I’m so sorry.”
He looked down at her bedspread. “I like you.”
“You do?”
He groaned with frustration and irritation.
“Of course I fucking do! I’m here, aren’t I?”
That was all Lisanne wanted to know.
Taking a deep breath, she uncrossed her legs and crawled up the bed. Halting in front of him, she brushed her lips against his.
His eyelids fluttered closed and he sighed softly.
Encouraged, she knelt across him and bent down, placing another gentle kiss on his lips.
Daniel slipped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck, humming quietly. Then he pulled her down so she was lying across his chest. He ran his hands downwards, stopping just below the small of her back, placing soft kisses on her throat.
He let his head fall back to the pillow, and tucked her into his side for a cozy hug, one hand softly stroking her hair, occasionally turning so he could brush his lips over her temple.
Lisanne was bitterly disappointed. Where were the burning touches she’d experienced from him yesterday? Where was the dark fire in his eyes? Was this it? Were they just friends after all? What did ‘like’ mean anyway?
He was being gentle with her but Lisanne didn’t want gentle. She wanted him. All of him. And she wanted to know once and for all if he wanted her.
She hooked her thigh over his hip, pushing herself into him so her leg was almost wrapped around his waist.
Daniel paused in his tender kisses and looked up at her.
“Lis?”
She didn’t answer, but nervously slid her fingers under his t-shirt. He blinked in surprise, then his eyes fluttered closed as she ran her hands over his stomach and chest, tugging gently on his nipple rings. She could feel he was hardening beneath her. It was thrilling.
But then he grabbed her wrists and pushed her back slightly, sitting up so he could see her face.
“What are you doing, Lis?”
“Just … you know.”
“Baby doll…”
“I want to, Daniel. I want to. Please.”
He groaned and closed his eyes.
She didn’t wait for him to speak, but pressed her lips hard against his, waiting for his mouth to open. When it did, she could taste beer and nicotine, but it was still the best feeling. She pushed her tongue into his mouth, hoping that enthusiasm would make up for what she lacked in technique.
His grip on her wrists lessened, and then his hands brushed up her arms and into her hair.
Gently, but with building passion, he stroked his tongue against hers, controlling the moment, showing her how sensual it could be, taking it slowly. His lips were soft and warm, and she could feel the prickle of his stubble against her skin.
Lisanne’s body throbbed with pleasure. She had no idea kissing a guy could make her feel so much. She was overflowing with sensations and emotions, as if her skin would split open, unable to contain everything she felt, her lungs too big for her body.
Daniel rolled onto his back, taking her with him so she was lying across his body. His hands sculpted her waist, massaging her hips with his fingers.
Then he cupped her ass and pulled her tightly against him. His erection was hard against the fabric of his jeans.
“You sure, baby doll?” he whispered.
Lisanne’s brain was deliciously disconnected from the parts that moved, and she hesitated. Daniel pushed her back a few inches so he could read her face.
“Hey,” he said, softly. “It’s okay. You’re not ready.”
“I am!” she snapped, slapping the pillow next to his head in frustration. “I am so ready it’s giving me a headache! Just do it already!”
He blinked at her.
“I’m just … I’m just nervous, okay!”
By now she was yelling.
Daniel was trying to hold back a smile and not doing a very good job of it.
“Um, Lis, you don’t have to yell at me or beat me up.”
She frowned. “Are you laughing at me?”
“Kinda, I mean, it’s pretty damn funny, you yelling at me that you want sex and you want it now.”
“I’m not yelling!” she yelled.
“Yes, you are.”
“How do you know?” she said, allowing the volume to drop by a couple of decibels.
“Because your face is all scrunched up,” he said, with a grin. “It’s cute.”
“Oh!” she said, her voice dropping to a whisper as her skin heated to the point where the room ought to have caught fire.
She flopped onto her back, cursing the genes that made her whole body blush with embarrassment.
“Hey, I’m sorry, okay,” he said, sitting up and looking down at her.
Lisanne pulled the pillow over her face and groaned with defeat and dissatisfaction. She felt Daniel tugging at the pillow, and she allowed him pull it from her. She knew how much he hated it when he couldn’t see her face.
“I’m sorry, baby. Lis … I’m flattered, you know, that you want me to be your first. I just … I don’t want it to be something you’ll regret. I don’t want you to regret me.”
She heard the anxiety in his voice and opened her eyes.
“I wouldn’t. I won’t.”
He rubbed his face.
“Shit, you’re making this hard.”
“Am I making you hard?”
Her voice came out in a sultry, slutty purr that bore no resemblance to her usual voice whatsoever. It was like having an out-of-body experience, watching some vixen trying to seduce him. She had no idea where those words had come from.
Daniel raised his eyebrows, and a slow grin stretched across his face.
“I can’t believe you said that, Lis. Should I be scared?”
“Yes,” she said, in a low voice.
The grin dropped from his face, and he looked so surprised that Lisanne almost laughed.
For a moment she thought she was going to get her way after all, but after taking a deep breath, he swung his legs off of the bed and stood up.
“What?” Lisanne was startled. “Where are you going?”
“Come on,” he said, holding out his hand. “Let’s get out of here, because if we stay, I’m gonna end up fucking you every which way.”
Why did his dirty words sound so erotic?
“Would that be a bad thing?” she said, in a small voice.
“No,” he said, sighing and rubbing his face again. “But right now I want to take my girl out. Besides, I could do with a shower and a shave, and a night sleeping in a comfortable bed.”
Something fluttered in Lisanne’s chest, and she only heard the first of the two sentences.
“Your girl?”
He frowned.
“What? Yeah, if you want.”
Lisanne remembered Kirsty’s words, as she stared at him doubtfully.
“So, is this like a date?”
“Um, yeah?”
He didn’t sound sure, and Lisanne’s fluttering heart stuttered softly to a halt.
“Are you sleeping with anyone else?” she said, needing to know despite herself.
When she saw the look on his face, she could have willingly yanked out her own tongue and used it for fish food.
“What the fuck, Lis? You really think I’m that big of a jerk!”
His eyes were dark with anger and hurt.
She’d done it again.
“Daniel, I’m sorry! I just … shit, can we just erase the last two minutes? Please?”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and glowered at her.
“No,” he snarled. “I’m not sleeping with anyone. I’m not fucking anyone. At all.”
She cringed at his tone and his words. From somewhere inside, she called on the strength to be honest—to say it straight.
“I just … I just don’t think I could share you,” she sniffed, her eyes filling with tears.
His face softened at once, and he pulled her toward him.
“Sorry, baby,” he breathed into her hair. “I’m shit at this whole boyfriend thing. Fuck, can we get out of here? I need a smoke.”
Lisanne gave a wobbly smile, and forced back the tears that were still threatening.
“Where do you want to go?”
He shrugged.
“Anywhere you like? You wanna get something to eat? I’m starving. The food in jail sucked ass.”
“Um, well,” said Lisanne, hesitantly, “Kirsty was meeting Vin and some of his friends: we could meet up with them if you like?”
Daniel looked down and frowned.
“I don’t think so, Lis. Groups are really hard for me. I … I can’t join in conversations that easily.”
“Just try it,” she said, encouragingly.
“No, really. It’s too hard. I mean, it’s bad enough with just one person. I have to guess half the time. I mean, understanding what someone is saying is only 40% about the lip reading—the rest is body language and context. Sometimes it can be a goddamn nightmare.”
“But I thought … I mean, you do it so well.”
“Because I don’t want … I don’t want anyone to know. But seriously, Lis, have you any idea how easy it is to mix up ‘where there’s life, there’s hope’, with ‘where’s the lavender soap’?”
Lisanne wasn’t sure whether or not it would be appropriate to giggle. She stood there with her face frozen.
“And ‘elephant shoes’ looks like ‘I love you’, which could be really fucking embarrassing. And people get freaked out when I stare at their faces all the time. I mean, I can read you because I’ve gotten to know you pretty well, but new people … and anyone with a strong accent—I’m totally screwed.”
Lisanne realized that Daniel was starting to sound slightly panicky. It was upsetting to see him anxious when he was usually so in control.
She laid her hand on his cheek to calm him
“They’ve gone to that new Mexican restaurant. There won’t be that many of them. If you don’t like it, we’ll just stay for one drink and go.”
Daniel took a deep breath, purposefully trying to slow his racing heart.
“No way anyone will believe you’re 21 even with fake ID,” he said, shifting uncomfortably, playing for time.
“Probably not,” she said, with a smirk, “but they serve virgin cocktails.”
He grinned at her, and she saw his body relax a little.
“Yeah?”
“Besides,” she said, continuing to stroke his face, “we can always ignore everyone and just make out.”
Suddenly, he grabbed Lisanne by her hips and pushed her up against the door so her head thudded softly against the wood.
And then he kissed her until she thought she was going to pass out.
“W-what was that for?” she gasped.
“Just ‘cause,” Daniel replied, equally breathlessly.