Chapter 20
Daniel made his way past the men sitting outside his house, who glanced at him with slight curiosity, then pushed his way through to the hall. It was jammed full of strangers—and even more trashed than usual. He hadn’t thought that was possible, without actually torching the place.
The living room was full of gyrating bodies dancing, drinking and snorting fuck knows what. His eyes narrowed on a woman who was shooting up in the corner. Nobody noticed, or if they did, nobody cared. Fuck, he had to admit that things had gotten a lot worse recently.
For the first time he felt disgusted with what his home had become. He could put up with people drinking, smoking weed and snorting coke—hell, he’d done all of those things and often. Well, not so much since he’d started college—or rather, since he’d started seeing Lisanne—but he didn’t count it as anything too serious. If people wanted to party, that was their choice. But this—this was different. He thought back to what Detective Dickwad had told him—that Zef was dealing meth. As far as Daniel knew, that shit could be smoked, snorted, injected or just plain swallowed. Maybe Dickwad was right, and this had all been going on under Daniel’s nose, so to speak. Maybe Daniel had closed his eyes to all of this for too damn long. He tried to push the thought away but it was like a virus, working through his body, spreading its insidious poison.
As he trudged up the stairs, the whole scene happening in the rooms below made him wonder if he didn’t need a better lock on his bedroom door. Or maybe just reinforced steel plate. He wished again he could afford to move out, then felt guilty for thinking about leaving Zef. His brother was all the family he had left.
Instead, he sent him a text letting him know that he was home.
His head was pounding and the skin on the left side felt tight and sore. All he wanted to do was lie down in his own damn bed and rest. Tired as he was, his brain was twisting with thoughts and ideas, trapped in the eddies and whirlpools of his consciousness. He’d learned that you can run from everything but your own sweet self.
He tried to focus.
When had Zef changed his business pattern? Daniel searched backward through his memories: when, when had things started to accelerate toward the bad?
He sat up suddenly and had to clutch his stomach, as a brief wave of nausea rushed through him.
Fuck, he’d been so blind!
He lowered himself down carefully, and knelt on the dusty floorboards, pulling out a box from under his bed. It was filled with financial documents, many from his parents’ time: their Wills, along with health insurance, college fees, bank statements, bills, credit card statements—and details of his college trust fund. He’d gone through it all when he’d decided to have the CI operation. He’d needed to confirm that Medicaid covered it, as it turned out—at least until he was 21. But now, he couldn’t find the trust fund documents. He searched through the papers but they’d vanished. Frustrated and starting to see double, he went through each document for a third time. Still nothing.
Daniel sat back on his heels and tried to look at all the possibilities, but everything was pointing in one obvious direction—he’d just been too self-absorbed and preoccupied to see it before.
Fact one: his brother had dropped out of college when their parents had been killed. He always said it was because studying wasn’t for him and he’d rather be out in the ‘real’ world, but now Daniel wasn’t so sure. Zef was a bright guy—before he’d gotten into ‘retail’, he’d been as interested in engines as Daniel, and had been studying mechanical engineering.
Fact two: Zef had always insisted that their parents’ life insurance had paid off the mortgage on the house, with money left over for living expenses for a few years. Daniel had been 17 and away at school, so it hadn’t occurred to him to challenge it—but what if Zef had exaggerated the amount of money as a way of protecting his little brother from an uglier truth?
Fact three: Zef had totally lost his shit when Daniel had gotten the $1000 speeding fine—the fine Daniel had said he’d pay for out of his college trust fund. He’d even hit him—something Zef had never done before.
Fact four: the paperwork about his trust fund had mysteriously gone missing.
Fact five: only one person besides himself knew where he kept those documents—and had a key to his room.
Which, as far as Daniel could see, added up to one, clear, indisputable fact number six: they were both neck deep in shit.
A cold, sick feeling swept through him—one which had nothing to do with his recent operation.
He picked up his phone to text Zef again.
* D: need see you. am at home. *
He stood up slowly and hunted through his cabinet for the food that he’d bought before going into hospital—crackers that he’d stashed along with a bag of apples. He stared at the food items that were supposed to constitute his eating plan for the next two days. What a moron: he’d bought two items that were going to require some serious jaw action—and consequently hurt the most to eat right now. Idiot. Hungry and depressed, Daniel continued to rifle through the cabinet, hoping that something more palatable might emerge from the depths. Finally, he unearthed two packets of instant soup at the back. They were only six months out of date, so consequently nothing he was going to worry about.
He left the room briefly to fill his kettle from the faucet in the bathroom. When he returned, Zef was sitting on his bed, looking tired and slightly strung out.
“Hey, bro. They let you go.”
“Nah, had to dig a tunnel.”
Zef gave the ghost of a smile. “Let’s see it then.”
Daniel pulled off his beanie and showed Zef the line of gauze and tape.
“Whoa, impressive. Makes you look like a double hard bastard.”
“Thanks, I think.”
“Just sayin’, man. When do you get hooked up to the sound system?”
“Not till after the holidays.”
“Think it’ll work?”
“Maybe. No one knows for sure.”
“Bummer.”
Daniel nodded, then winced.
“So, you said you needed to see me. What’s up?”
Daniel stared at his brother without blinking. “How much do you owe?”
“What?”
“I’m not a fucking idiot, Zef. All that shit downstairs, this isn’t you. Or it didn’t use to be. Is all the money gone—what Mom and Dad left?”
The silence stretched out between them until Zef exhaled in one long, sour breath.
“Yeah, it’s all gone.”
Daniel closed his eyes, having seen the words that confirmed everything he’d been dreading.
“Did … how much … did they really leave what you said—or was that a lie, too?”
Zef looked down. “No, they left us in pretty good shape. I was the one who fucked up.”
“Were you going to tell me?”
Zef pulled a face. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to. I’d planned to wait until the end of the school year. I kept thinking I’d be able to make the money back, but I just got in deeper. I’m sorry, bro.”
Daniel rubbed the side of his head carefully. “How much have you borrowed?”
“It’s not like that.”
“What’s it like?”
“I owe some favors to some people you don’t say ‘no’ to, okay.”
Daniel’s temper exploded, sending a pulse of pain through his skull.
“Okay? Are you fucking kidding me? This is so far from ‘okay’ I don’t even know what fucking planet you’re on!”
Zef’s fierce expression softened as he saw his brother’s physical and mental pain. “Look, I made some bad business decisions, but the house is safe. I wouldn’t risk that. You’ll always have a home here, bro.”
“You call this a home? Full of strangers shooting up? I have to lock my bedroom door—I have to lock the fucking bathroom door to stop it getting trashed. I can’t bring any friends back here. I mean, have you even looked at this place lately?”
“I knew this would fucking happen,” sneered Zef. “As soon as you got your little middle-income bitch of a girlfriend, and started visiting her place in the burbs, pretending you’re … whatever the fuck you think you are now—too good for your own home … college boy.”
Daniel clenched his fists, and Zef saw a moment flash across his brother’s face when Daniel thought about hitting him—about beating the crap out of him.
“Don’t, Zef. Just … don’t. Can’t you see what’s going on here? You are so fucking close to getting your ass thrown in jail. The cops know you’re dealing. Hell, I get stopped at school every other day by some fucker trying to score. The cops could take you down any moment, but they’re waiting for you to fuck up big time or something. You think they’ll stop at you –when they finally get a search warrant for this place? I’m just as likely to go down as you are. You even care about that?”
“Yeah, because you’re so fucking snow-white! I’ve seen you totally wasted, man, don’t pretend I haven’t.”
“I don’t fucking deal!” shouted Daniel.
Zef was silent. “No, you don’t: you just live off the proceeds of it.”
Daniel’s expression was stricken as he stared at the stranger with a familiar face.
Zef stood up and brushed past him. Without facing Daniel he said, “I’m so fucking sorry, brother.”
The door closed and Daniel slumped down onto his bed. So many feelings swept through him, that he didn’t know which one to deal with first. Anger was the dominant emotion, but there was also fear and disappointment, along with a strong sense of betrayal. He’d trusted Zef.
Daniel’s progressive and rapid deafness had isolated him in so many ways. At a time when his school friends were worrying about zits and wet dreams, sounds were becoming misty, and jokes lost in waves of words where he could no longer distinguish consonant from vowel. Even when he’d gone to the special school, he’d been largely alone, refusing to see himself as part of the deaf community. When he’d gotten the news that his parents had died, it had been Zef who’d driven through the night to tell him, brother to brother. Through it all, through every dark moment, Zef’s large presence had offered humor at the blackest times, and strength at Daniel’s weakest.
But at that moment, sitting in the bedroom of his family home with his brother mere feet and inches away, Daniel’s sense of loneliness had never been greater.
Right now, he had one good thing in his life.
As if thinking about her had conjured her, Daniel’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He smiled when he saw the message.
* L: we’re home. mom & dad fought 3 hours solid. I have headache—how’s yours? wish I could help with pain relief ; ) LA xx *
* D: me too, you have no idea. offer still open? could come up Friday after check-up. *
* L: YES!—shouting—you safe to ride? LA xx*
* D: will take bus. *
* L: can’t wait! LA xx *
* D: : ) x *
Now he had things to do, decisions to make. But not yet.
Tomorrow was soon enough.
Over the next few days, Daniel’s strength began to return. His headache withered and gave up, although the wound was still tender, and trying to dress it himself was a bitch—‘fiasco’ was an equally apt word. He refused to ask Zef for help. The spells of dizziness decreased, too, although they were still debilitating when they happened.
Occasionally, he’d forget to be careful—which was a good sign in some ways—but then he’d whack his ear or his head and spend the next five minutes cursing loudly, colorfully and imaginatively.
Zef had stayed out of his way, and Daniel spent most of the time sitting in his room reading, only heading out on foot to forage for food, careful how much money he spent. His bank account was already on the critical list—he didn’t want it to expire during the holidays. He had plans for increasing its health as soon as possible.
Which meant that the first visit he made as soon as he was able, was to the auto repair shop where he’d worked over the previous two summers.
The workshop area was dark and every piece of woodwork was slick where oily hands had touched it. But Salvatore Coredo had an enviable reputation as a restorer of classic cars. Motorcycles were a profitable sideline.
“Dan! What you doing here? You finally get religion and decided to make me a happy man? The offer on your Harley is still open.”
Daniel smiled at the familiar banter. Ever since Sal had set eyes on Sirona, battered as she’d been, he’d coveted her. And every time he saw Daniel, he tried to talk him into selling.
“Maybe, Sal, but I’m looking for work. Can you give me some hours?”
“Thought you were going to school? You drop out already?”
Daniel scowled and Salvatore laughed.
He’d known Daniel for two years and had helped him rebuild Sirona—he knew exactly which buttons to press.
“No, I’m still studying. I just need a job.”
“Could give you some hours on Christmas Day—you interested?”
“Very fucking funny, Sal.”
“Watch the mouth, Dan.” He paused, seeing the tiredness that clung to Daniel. “Sure I can give you 10, maybe 20 hours a week. Start after the holidays.”
Daniel felt relieved. It wasn’t easy getting part-time work with so many students looking for jobs, and being deaf—well, you could treble the level of difficulty. Which was probably a conservative estimate.
If he was careful with the money from this job, he could rent a room somewhere and have just enough to live off, too. Getting an affordable room on campus was out of the question, and he’d have to get a loan to pay for his next year’s college fees.
“So, how much would you give me for Sirona?”
Salvatore gaped at him then looked serious. “You need money that bad, kid?”
Daniel shrugged, unwilling to go into the details with Sal.
“Well, now let me see. I could maybe go up to $2,750.”
Daniel shook his head, trying not to wince, both at the pain in his head, and the pain of selling his beloved Harley. “I want $3,000. You know she’s worth it.”
Salvatore grinned. “I’ll think about it, Dan. We’ll talk again when you start work—after the holidays.”
After the holidays—that seemed like an impossibly long time in the future.
Daniel nodded and they shook hands on the almost-deal.
He was looking forward to seeing Lisanne—although he couldn’t with all honesty say he was looking forward to seeing her parents, but they’d been kind to invite him. He was just glad they had no idea of all the things he was planning to do to their daughter during his visit. He licked his lips at the thought.
He was about to text her the good news that he’d got a job when he remembered that he hadn’t shared his financial problems with her. That was a conversation to have face to face, if at all. No, she didn’t need to hear all the shit he had going down.
He bought the local paper and scoured it for rooms that were within his limited price range, but the two that he subsequently visited were shitholes that should have been condemned, and would have been little better than staying at home.
On Friday, he took the bus to the hospital with mixed feelings, completely separate from the fact that he hated not being able to ride Sirona. That was one thing he intended to sort out with the doc pretty damn quick. He needed his independence back, especially if he was apartment hunting.
The outpatients’ clinic was busy, full of people like him—people who’d had the CI operation. Some were children who weren’t old enough to understand what was happening, but most were adults in their sixties and seventies. Only one person was anywhere near Daniel’s age—a woman in her late twenties. She was also the only other person who hadn’t brought someone along for support.
She smiled when she saw Daniel. He nodded and sat down in the far side of the room, not interested in starting a conversation. But she had other ideas, and came to sit opposite him.
S: Hello. Do you sign?
D: Yes.
S: I’m S.A.M.A.N.T.H.A.
She spelled out her name and Daniel did the same, one letter at a time.
D: D.A.N.I.E.L.
S: Are you having the CI?
D: Had it. Last week.
S: Me, too! Six weeks ago. How’s it going?
Daniel shrugged. “Okay.”
S: Do you lip read?
D: Yes.
S: You don’t talk much, do you?
Daniel just looked at her.
S: Come on! We’re the only ones here who aren’t preschoolers or retired. Are you getting your processor and transmitter today?
D: No. Stitches out.
S: Since you asked, I got tuned in a month ago. It’s … weird. I could only hear beeping from the system. I knew that there were sounds, but I couldn’t distinguish between them. The audiologist said that’s normal. To be honest, I’m a bit freaked out.
She paused.
S: You here by yourself, too?
Daniel smirked and glanced around him.
S: Why?
Daniel shrugged.
S: You don’t want to tell me. That’s cool. Can I ask you something? I hardly know you, but … I don’t have anyone else to ask.
Daniel was curious but wary. He wasn’t big on gratuitous sharing of emotions with complete strangers—or even with people he knew well.
D: You can ask.
S: Seriously … why did you decide to have this? You lip read—you can blend.
D: Why did you?
She sighed.
S: I had a baby last year. I wanted to hear her laugh.
She smiled.
S: That simple. What’s your story?
Daniel hesitated. They’d strayed into personal territory in less than five minutes.
D: Why do you want to know?
S: What if this doesn’t work? Will I care? How much will I care? I managed okay before. Do you feel like that?
D: I’ve got nothing left to lose.
Which was the truth. He hadn’t thought about it that way until he’d met Lisanne.
S: Do you feel weird about having a chunk of metal in your head? I know I do.
D: As long as it works. I’ll let you know.
S: I’d like that.
Daniel glanced at her. That wasn’t what he’d meant.
S: Do you think your hands will get lonely?
D: What?
S: I like signing. It’s so expressive. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. I think I’d miss it if I stopped completely.
Daniel had nothing to say to that. To him signing was a tool, something he’d had to learn, but he didn’t consider it a complete alternative to speech. From his lack of reaction, Samantha took the hint and changed the subject.
S: There are some other things I’ve noticed about the CI: it’s easier for me to understand men—that’s just because of frequencies. It’s driving my girlfriend nuts—she actually accused me of hitting on her husband! I’ve known her 10 years. Can you believe it?
Daniel didn’t say so, but frankly yes, he could believe it. But there was one question he wanted to ask her, now she’d started the conversation.
D: Can you listen to music?
S: Not really. It’s pretty meaningless at the moment. I’m hoping it will improve.
She studied his face.
S: You miss music.
Daniel shifted uncomfortably on his seat but finally looked up at her.
“Yeah, I do.”
Samantha smiled sympathetically.
S: I don’t really remember sounds—I was only three when I lost my hearing. I’ll have to relearn everything. She paused, seeing the tension in his expression. Do you have plans for the holidays?
D: My girlfriend’s place.
S: That explains the backpack. Does she go to school?
D: Yes.
S: You, too?
D: Yes.
S: What are you studying?
D: Economics and business, with math.
S: Wow! That must be a pretty full timetable. What does your girlfriend study?
Daniel could pretty much have predicted the look on Samantha’s face when he told her.
D: Music.
Samantha’s response was utterly predictable. Yeah, that was the look he’d expected: pity mixed with sympathy. He was getting pretty damn tired of that.
A light blinked on the wall and everyone turned to look at the name that flashed up—‘Miss S. Wilson’.
S: That’s me.
Samantha scrabbled in her handbag, then passed him a piece of paper with her phone number scribbled on it. She smiled at his expression.
S: I’m not hitting on you! Although you are cute. I’d just like to know how it works out for you. It would be good to stay in touch, swap notes. Take care, Daniel.
Throwing him a smile, she disappeared down one of the corridors and Daniel was left alone. For a moment he thought about tossing the piece of paper, but in the end he shoved it in his pocket and forgot about it.
When Daniel’s name came up, he loped off down the same corridor as Samantha. He was relieved to see that it was Dr. Palmer waiting in the consulting room.
“Good morning, Mr. Colton. How are you? Any problems?”
“Hey, doc. No, all good.”
“Any nausea? Dizziness?”
“Bit. It’s wearing off, I think.”
“Good. Tenderness when you have the dressings changed?”
“Bit. Specially if I pull my ear by mistake.”
“You’ve been changing your own dressings?”
“Well, yeah.”
Dr. Palmer frowned. “Right. I’ll take a look.”
He prodded and probed. It hurt, but was bearable. He walked around to face Daniel.
“That’s all looking fine. Nothing to worry about. I’ll take those stitches out now. It’ll be a little uncomfortable.”
Five minutes later, Daniel felt as if the doctor had been trying to open his skull with a crowbar. But it was a relief to have the stitches out.
Dr. Palmer moved back to speak to Daniel.
“There’s some tenderness, but no more than I’d expect. It’ll have settled down nicely in a couple of weeks and we’ll be ready to fit the transmitter and processor. Do you have any questions?”
“Can I ride my motorcycle?”
Dr. Palmer frowned. “No, too early for that, especially if you’re still experiencing some dizziness. Ask me again after your fitting, Mr. Colton.”
It was the answer Daniel had been expecting, but it was still galling.
“Okay. See you next year, doc. Thanks and all that.”
“Happy holidays,” said the doctor quietly, as he watched Daniel leave the room.
* * *
Daniel was glad he’d arrived at the bus station early. Along with airports and train stations, they made him nervous. If there was a platform change or gate change announced over the public address system, he couldn’t hear it. He’d missed a couple of connections on previous journeys because there’d been a last minute change and he hadn’t known. He kept an eye on the Atlanta bus, checking and rechecking the signboards until it was time for departure.
Daniel took a seat at the back and closed his eyes. He wouldn’t have admitted it to the devil himself, but he was glad not to be riding Sirona all the way up to Lisanne’s place.
The bus was pretty full with people traveling for the holidays, brightly colored parcels stuffed into bags, but nobody bothered him in his corner. He was aware how unapproachable he looked, being tall and broad shouldered, with a week’s worth of stubble, his piercing, his beanie pulled down low, heavy boots and his black leather jacket. He didn’t need a sign telling people to stay the hell away.
After an hour of dozing, he sat up straighter and rubbed his eyes. He pulled a battered copy of E. F. Schumacher’s Small is Beautiful out of his backpack and tried to concentrate on the pages. He couldn’t wait to see his girl, even better to feel her body wrapped around him. He knew her parents would be hawkeyed, watching and waiting for him to put a finger—or tongue—out of place, but Daniel felt confident he’d find a way. Hell, yes.
The book fell to his lap and his eyes drifted to the landscape flashing past the bus window: trees, fields, orchards, houses, another small town, more trees. But instead of seeing the Georgia countryside, he was thinking about how much his life had changed.
Starting college was a big deal for most people but for Daniel, it had been a leap into the unknown. Against all the advice his high school had given him, he’d been determined to keep his hearing loss a private matter. He’d had to work harder and longer and concentrate more than other students; he’d had to fight—literally—against the expectations formed by his relationship to Zef; and he’d met Lisanne. He’d had every intention of keeping himself to himself, but now he found he had a girlfriend—serious, maybe—and he was on his way to spend the holidays with her family again.
And then there was the huge, potentially life changing decision he’d made to get the CI.
He wasn’t even sure how to feel about that, but once he’d seen Lisanne singing, seen her passion for music pouring out of her, his reasons for not having the implant had been scoured away.
And he had no regrets.
He thought again about what it meant to have a girlfriend, or rather, what it meant to him to have Lisanne in his life. He liked sex—a lot—and ever since he’d lost his virginity at the age of 15, he’d worshipped the god of one night stands, relentlessly pursuing short-term gratification. It had begun as self-protection from the pain of rejection, but it had become a self perpetuating habit.
It was different with Lisanne. So different that Daniel had to admit he was pretty much in uncharted territory. She had stripped away his defenses one by one, leaving him vulnerable and exposed. It was unnerving, but at the same time he didn’t feel so alone. She’d rejected isolation as a solution to his deafness, and had led him back toward the world. But the problem remained—it was a world full of hearing people, where deafness was routinely the butt of jokes. It was daunting, especially because he had no way of explaining to her what she was asking of him.
And yet, the operation had been another step into that world. Daniel was all too aware that the CI was a piece of technology that could help, but it was just a tool—he’d still be deaf. He wondered if Lisanne really understood that. If he was honest with himself, he was waiting for the moment when she’d be tired of having a boyfriend with a disability. Christ, the weight of that fucking word.
He also felt a responsibility toward her, having been the first man she’d ever slept with. Hell, as far as he could tell, he was the first guy she’d ever kissed. But as her confidence grew, the sex just kept on getting better. She was trusting him to help her explore further. He was looking forward to more of that.
Daniel scratched at his beard. Probably time to shave it off—his Baby Doll had sensitive skin.
He felt his phone vibrate, alerting him that a text had come in.
* L: I’m at the bus station. Can’t wait to see you. LA xx *
He smiled at her message.
He’d meant everything he’d written in the letter, and it scared him. The way he felt about her … relying on other people made you weak. Zef proved that.
But when he climbed off the bus and saw her anxious face transported by a huge grin, his doubts were pushed into a distant place and locked away.
“Baby doll,” he said, dropping his backpack onto the floor and pulling her toward him.
“You grew a beard!” she squeaked.
“Don’t you like it?”
“Um…”
He leaned down to kiss her and she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Her lips were soft and warm on his, her tongue hot and eager.
Daniel lost himself in the kiss, forgetting he was standing on the forecourt of a concrete bus station. It was his cock that reminded him, as his hips automatically tried to grind into her.
He pushed her back gently and felt her slight resistance. He blew out a long breath and raised his eyebrows.
“I like the way you think, baby doll, but we should get out of here first.” He touched her cheek that was looking a little pink from their kiss, “And I’ll shave.”
Lisanne gave an embarrassed laugh.
“I can’t seem to behave properly around you!”
“Just as long as you behave improperly, you’ll have no complaints from me,” he whispered into her hair.
She sighed happily. “Mom and Dad are at a school thing, and Harry’s with his friends.”
Daniel got the hint.
“Drive fast, baby, because I don’t think I can wait much longer.”
He bent to pick up his backpack, and experienced a brief wave of dizziness that made him stumble.
“Daniel!”
“Don’t freak, baby, I’m good,” he said, standing up more slowly this time.
Lisanne made sure her arm was firmly around his waist as they walked toward the car, and felt reassured by his solid presence.
It took half an hour to get to Lisanne’s home. Daniel spent most of the drive with his left hand resting on her thigh. It was enough to make Lisanne grip the steering wheel until her knuckles were white. A part of her had never believed that he’d really come.
They were both relieved when the journey was finally over.
Lisanne turned off the engine, and tension crackled in the air, sparks that would ignite at any moment.
She turned her head to look at him, meeting his eyes.
“So, everyone’s out.”
“Yes.”
“How long?”
“A couple of hours. Maybe.”
“Let’s go.”
She opened the front door, and without speaking, led him up the stairs, hand in hand, to her bedroom.
Daniel let his backpack fall onto the carpet, and kissed Lisanne hungrily.
She started to respond, her hands pushing up under his leather jacket, but then pulled back. Daniel stared at her in confusion.
“Would you … your stubble … everyone will know.”
He smiled in understanding. “I’ll shave.”
Her relief was obvious. “Sorry, I just…”
“Not a problem, baby doll.”
“Daniel…”
“What is it?”
“The operation…”
He stiffened.
“What about it?”
She chewed her lip and tugged nervously on the sleeve of her coat.
“Can I see—can I see your scar?”
He didn’t move but didn’t stop her when she gently pulled off his beanie.
“Oh,” she whispered, running her eyes over the line of gauze and tape that snaked up his skull.
Daniel turned his face away from her. Was this the moment when reality would be too much?
But instead her soft hands pulled his mouth toward hers and she kissed him slowly, lovingly.
“I like your hair short—it suits you. You look like a Marine or something.”
He snorted, because yeah, the Marines recruited so many deaf people.
“Or something. I don’t think they allow piercings in the Marines.”
He pulled his shaving kit out of his bag and tugged his t-shirt over his head, smiling to himself as her eyes followed the material’s route up his body. He headed for the bathroom.
When he looked into the mirror, he saw Lisanne standing behind him.
“Let me do it.”
“What?”
“I want to shave you.”
He stared at her.
“Don’t you trust me?”
“I just don’t want to look like I’ve gotten into a fight—anymore than I already do.”
“Hey,” she said, slapping his arm. “I have a very steady hand.”
“Mmm,” he said, nuzzling her neck, “I like your hands.”
She pushed his shoulder to make him look at her.
“So you’ll let me?”
He sighed theatrically. “Fine, but I’ve already got one six inch cut, baby doll, so be careful, okay?”
He settled himself on the stool she placed in front of the mirror, and watched her root around pulling out his shaving foam and razor.
The bathroom began to fill with the same tension that they’d experienced in the car. Daniel’s arousal, begun in the driveway, and increased in the bedroom, was now becoming really fucking uncomfortable. He shifted on the stool as his eyes were on a level with Lisanne’s breasts.
She shook the can then pressed the nozzle, watching the foam bloom onto the palm of her hand. She spread it across each cheek, his chin, the patch of skin above his full lips, and down over his throat.
He stared up at her, his hazel eyes wide and trusting.
Picking up his razor, she stepped nearer so she was standing between his legs. She rested her left hand on his shoulder and he stretched his neck upwards.
Lisanne leaned forward and tilted Daniel’s head to the side. Moving with precision, she placed the razor at the base of his sideburn, less than an inch from the incision behind his ear, and with slow, careful strokes, he felt her draw the razor down his left cheek. A long, smooth sliver of skin was revealed. His bare chest rose and fell evenly and his eyes followed hers. When she moved to his upper lip, he pulled it down; when she moved to his right side, he tilted his head for her.
She rinsed off the razor in the sink and her eyes traced the path of a drop of water that rolled down his chest, glistening for a moment before disappearing into the waistband of his jeans.
With great focus, she moved around him, shaving him cleanly, finishing with an upwards stroke from his throat to his chin.
She wiped a final swirl of foam from his right cheek and gently patted his face with a towel.
“All done,” she said, her voice husky.
He took the razor from her hand and lay it carefully at the side of the wash basin, watching as the water ran down the plughole.
He glanced at himself in the mirror and ran his fingers over his smooth face. “Nice job.” He turned and looked into her eyes for several seconds before he spoke again. “Can I take you to bed now?”
“I started taking the pill.”
Her abrupt announcement halted him. “You did?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” He wasn’t sure what she wanted him to do with that piece of information.
“So you don’t have to, you know … you don’t have to use a condom.”
He stared and her face reddened.
“I thought it was what you wanted!” she snapped at him.
He blinked in surprise, as much at the anger on her face as the actual words.
“No, I didn’t mean … baby doll, I wasn’t … I mean, that’s great. I know I’m clean because I get tested regularly—and I had to have blood work done before the op. You just surprised me—I’ve never gone unwrapped before.”
“Oh, okay.” Lisanne nodded. She looked up at him boldly. “I want you to make love to me, Daniel.”
Once again, her words made him pause and he suddenly felt uncertain. He knew sex. He knew fucking. He knew how to make a woman come so hard she saw stars, the galaxy, and the whole damn Milky Way. But making love? Was that what it was? Was that why it was different with her?
He licked his lips as her hand rose to take his, leading him back to her bedroom.
He watched the roll and sway of her hips as he walked behind her, and his cock wept with happiness.
“Put the chair against the door,” she said, “just in case.”
Daniel lifted her desk chair and wedged it under the door handle, then pulled off his boots and socks.
“You don’t usually wear a belt with your jeans,” she said, suddenly.
He shrugged. “Stops my pants falling down.”
“You haven’t been eating, have you?”
“You really want to have this conversation now, baby doll, because I just want to put my dick inside you, where it’s been fucking begging to be for the last half hour, and then feel you tighten around it when you come, yelling my name.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Daniel laid down on her bed, grinning up at her. “Want to make out?”
“I want to do a lot more than that,” she said, confidently.
Lisanne scrambled up the bed until she was straddling his thighs. She leaned down and kissed his chest, tugging gently on first one, then the other nipple ring.
Daniel breathed deeply, feeling waves of desire flame through him. She had no idea how fucking sexy she looked doing that, taking control. His arms lay at his sides as she continued to taste every inch of bare skin that she could find.
When she cupped him over his jeans, he groaned.
She slipped her hand inside and her mouth dropped open with surprise.
“You’re not wearing any underwear.”
He grinned. “Didn’t get around to doing any laundry.”
Her hand squeezed around him and he sighed with the overture of gratification.
“Fuck, that feels good, baby doll.”
She unbuckled his belt and popped the button on his jeans before yanking down the zipper.
Daniel yelped.
“Oh, sorry,” she gasped.
“Fuck, Lis, I’ve been damaged enough this week. Be careful with my dick—he needs some loving.”
“Oh, poor little thing,” she smirked. “Do you want me to kiss it better?”
Daniel’s intention to deny that his ‘thing’ was ‘little’ died in his throat as she pulled his cock free and started to place small, sweet kisses all over it.
She sucked the end tentatively, her serious eyes peering up at him.
She released him long enough to ask, “Is this okay?”
“Yup,” he managed to cough out, as coherence exited the building.
She smiled and went back to inexpertly licking, sucking, and generally working out what movements got the best reactions. It was sort of like a science experiment but with pornographic surround sound, as Daniel moaned, groaned, and gasped.
When he felt his balls and stomach tighten, he pushed her shoulders.
“Lis…”
“Yes?” she said, bemused as he bucked beneath her.
“I’m going to come, baby doll, if you keep doing that.”
She frowned. “Isn’t that the point?”
He managed to smile at her confused expression as he propped himself on his elbows to see her face better.
“Well, yeah, but then it’ll be over too quick. Gotta pace myself.”
“Is that what you do—pace yourself—with me?”
She looked slightly hurt.
Daniel tried to explain, while his dick cursed him. “It depends. Sometimes I just want to fuck, hard and fast, right?”
She swallowed and felt her insides tighten in response.
“But sometimes,” he continued, “sometimes I want to make it last—like right now. I want to touch you, I want to taste you, I want to see your face when you come, I want you screaming because you don’t want it to stop—and because you do. I want to make it good for you, baby, real good.”
He looked down at his cock, that was almost purple with urgency.
“And then I’m going to fuck you hard and fast. How does that sound?”
“Um, okay.”
He grinned at her. “Good. Come here.”
While she crawled back up the bed, he shoved his unhappy and painfully rigid dick back in his jeans, then unfastened the buttons on her shirt one by one.
“I know it’s dumb,” she said, quietly, “but I feel sort of nervous. You know, because we haven’t done this for a while.”
“Tell me about it. I’ve got fucking blue balls, and your hymen has probably grown back by now.”
“What?” said Lisanne, looking panicked.
Daniel chuckled. “Kidding! Jeez!”
“I knew that,” she muttered.
He pulled open her shirt and saw the brilliant jade green Victoria’s Secret bra that he’d caught a glimpse of when she’d been drunk. The night she’d slapped him and thrown him out of her room. It looked sensational against her pale skin. He might even have groaned out loud: he didn’t know.
He buried his face in her breasts while she ran her hands over the bunched muscles of his biceps, following the swirling lines of his tattoos.
“I’ve missed this,” she sighed, even though Daniel couldn’t hear her.
With one hand, he unhooked her bra and slid it from her small shoulders.
Her nipples were already standing proud, but using his tongue and teeth, he teased them into tight little fists.
“Mmm, strawberry,” he said to himself.
Lisanne flushed, the heat traveling from the center of her body to every furthest inch.
She rolled onto her back and Daniel tugged off her jeans. She shivered slightly and he looked up.
“Okay?”
“Y-yes!”
Smiling, he worked her panties down until they were tangled around her ankles.
He eased a couple of fingers inside her and watched with pleasure as she stretched out her body and shuddered softly.
“Have you made yourself come without me, baby doll?”
She mumbled something but Daniel couldn’t read what she’d said.
“Say again, baby.”
“Um, yes. Once,” she muttered.
“Way to go, Lis,” he said, trying not to laugh at her mortified expression. “Did it feel good?”
“It was okay. It’s better when you do it.”
Daniel grinned—he wasn’t going to argue with that. “Do you like it when I do this?”
Lisanne gasped.
“Or this?”
Her hips bucked off the bed.
“Or this?”
She screamed out and clutched the sheets with stiff fingers.
Smiling to himself, Daniel couldn’t resist licking her. Damn, she tasted good. He wondered if he could make her come again with just his mouth.
Five minutes later, he had his answer.
Lisanne was a sweaty mess, lying flat on her back, utterly open and exposed, glowing from a second, stunning orgasm. Daniel was happy his girl was satisfied, but the granite in his pants was giving him some serious grief. He kicked off his jeans, with a feeling of relief, and she opened one eye.
“I can’t move,” she gasped.
“You don’t have to, baby,” he said. “I’ll do all the work. Just … enjoy the ride!” He reached for his jacket and the packet of condoms, before he remembered that she’d said they weren’t necessary. He hesitated for a moment. He’d done a lot of shit with a lot of women, but he’d never gone bare before. He was more than happy for Lisanne to be his first. The thought made him smile.
Gently, he rolled her onto her right hip and lay down behind her so they were spooning. He pushed up her knees with his own, wrapped one arm underneath her, pulling her tightly into him, then rubbed his straining tip against her, feeling her warmth and wetness.
He pushed into her faster than he’d meant to, but she didn’t stop him. Feeling her skin to skin, her satiny walls clenching all around him, Daniel almost came on the spot.
“Fuck, that feels so … baby doll…”
As it was, he was having trouble holding on. She pushed her ass back against him, and he was a lost man. He pounded into her hard and exploded in a rush of heat, pulsing into her, emptying himself into her.
Fuck, that was intense. He was almost embarrassed that he’d come so quickly—that hadn’t happened in a long time.
He pulled out and saw with fascination that his cum was running down the back of her thigh. Goddamn it but that was sexy.
Lisanne squirmed in his arms until she was facing him.
“Hi,” she said, shyly.
He kissed her soft lips. “You are so fucking amazing, you know that, right?”
She giggled. “So are you. I’ve missed having, um, orgasms with you.”
“You sure have a way with words, baby doll.”
She pretended to pout, and he laughed.
“I’ve missed all of this,” she said, lifting her hand to stroke his cheek.
“Me, too,” he sighed, planting a soft kiss on the tip of her nose.
“Ugh!” she sat up suddenly.
“What’s the matter?”
Daniel’s eyes darted to the window. Maybe she’d heard her parents coming back?
“I’m … oh God, this is so embarrassing!”
Daniel stared at her with worried eyes. As Lisanne started to get out of bed, he laid a restraining hand on her arm.
“What is it, Lis? You’re freaking me out here.”
“Oh, God. Just … nothing. Wait here.”
“Lis!”
“Oh for God’s sake, Daniel! I’m dripping, okay? I’ll be back in a minute.”
She heard Daniel’s loud laughter all the way to the bathroom.
Muttering inaudibly, Lisanne cleaned herself up. Nobody had mentioned that side effect of taking the pill. She suddenly wished they’d used condoms. It had felt amazing, not having any barrier between them but even so, condoms were so much less messy.
She wondered if she had time for a shower and decided it was an absolute necessity. Then a thought occurred to her—maybe they could have a shower together. Kirsty had given a rather too vivid description of when she and Vin had done exactly that in his private bathroom at the frat house. Lisanne thought it sounded rather dangerous, what with all the slipping and sliding around on tiles, but now she had the chance, Lisanne found she rather wanted to try it for herself.
She wrapped a bath towel under her arms and brought a spare one for Daniel.
He wasn’t lying on the bed anymore, but leaning out of her window, giving Lisanne a very fine view of his very fine ass. She hoped he wasn’t smoking: her dad had a nose like a bloodhound when it came to things like that.
But he wasn’t smoking and now Lisanne thought about it, she hadn’t seen him have a cigarette since she’d picked him up at the bus station.
But before she had a chance to ask him about it, he turned around and jumped when he saw her.
“Fuck, Lis! You nearly gave me a heart attack—I thought your folks had come back early.”
She smiled smugly, glad that he was the one on the wrong foot for a change. Her eyes traveled up and down his body. He’d definitely lost weight but otherwise there was nothing to suggest he’d been through an invasive surgery—nothing except the gauze on the side of his head.
“I’m going to have a shower. Do you want to have one with me?”
Daniel’s eyes lit up but then he frowned.
“Yeah, but I have to keep this dry,” he said, pointing to his ear.
“Okay, I’ll be gentle with you,” she said.
He raised his eyebrows, then chased her into the bathroom.