I didn’t want to think about the last time I touched a woman the way I was touching Emily. I didn’t want to think about the last time I tossed a woman to a bed just for some mindless sex. I didn’t want to think of anything…

I broke the kiss as I stood at the edge of Emily’s bed.

Just the look from her eyes was enough to chase all that shit away.

Emily grabbed her shirt and ripped it over her head. My hands touched her skin. The warmth and softness of her sides, the way her body curved at the right spot giving way to her hips. My fingertips quickly came forward and opened her pants. Her hands clutched at my shirt as she let out a groan.

“How long, Em?” I whispered.

I came forward and kissed her chest, above her breasts as they pressed against her bra. She was beautifully full, the blue lace keeping her from being exposed, but not for long. I trailed kisses up to her neck as my hands eased around to her hips and pushed, sliding her pants down.

She quickly stepped and kicked her pants away.

I broke away from her again for a second to admire her.

“Off,” she said, tugging at my dirty shirt.

I used my hand to reach across my body and take my shirt off. Her mouth opened wide, matching her eyes, her hands touched my shoulders, following the tattoos from my shoulders to my chest. Yes, every tattoo had a story. Yes, some were done before everything happened, some after. Not that it mattered right then.

With my right pointer finger, I reached for her chin.

I made her look at me. “Answer me, Em. How long?”

She kept going down, her nails like tiny daggers, scratching with the notion that with just a little force she could slice me open. But the thing is… she had already sliced me open. Getting through skin was one thing, but Emily got through to my heart. The empty hole in my chest, she managed to find something lingering there.

I grabbed her by the waist as her hands flirted with the top of my jeans.

My hands slid to her ass and I lifted her. I pushed forward and took her down to the bed.

Her back hit the bed and I hovered over her. My left hand was flat against the bed. Her hands reached for the sheets as she knew I was in complete control.

“Fine, princess,” I whispered. “Don’t answer. I’ll find out for myself.”

I pressed my lips to her chest again. She thrust her chest up, sighing. Her hands scrambled to reach back and unsnap her own bra. She was ready to strip herself for me. Desperate for me. Needing me as badly as she wanted me.

Months…

That’s how long. She had gone months and months without attention. Perhaps even closer to a year or more.

Something about that and the smell of her sweet skin gave the hint of innocence. That we were both so broken that we somehow regained a sense of the innocence to lose to each other.

Quit fucking thinking, Jake. Just fuck her. That’s why you’re here. Just fucking kiss her body and fuck her.

I kissed down her chest and felt her bra give way. I opened my mouth and bit at her bra, tugging at it, taking it with me as I pulled back and away. At that same moment I brought my right hand up and moved over the swell of her bare breast. I cupped her tight, feeling her nipple rub against the palm of my hand.

My mouth moved to her other breast as I tasted her. Finally tasted her. Kissing her breast, my lips flirting with her nipple, my nose rubbing up and down, teasing her nipple as she jumped and it became more and more erect. She let out another groan and arched her back again, thrusting her chest at me.

I kissed her and began to enjoy her. Taking her into my mouth, my tongue darting left to right. Her hands grabbed at the back of my head, digging into my skull, groaning. I quickly moved my right hand down her body. Feeling all of her. The damn perfection that existed in my hand, the woman that moved in next door, the woman that was knocking over the barriers that I built on pain and anger. A woman brave enough to challenge me and want to get involved in a mess that would never go away.

I think I loved her for that…

My fingertips felt the top of her panties.

I loved the way her bra and panties were different colors. That she just woke up and grabbed whatever and just did whatever. That she didn’t spend hours on makeup or hours on her hair. That she was okay with taking forever to unpack her new house and that she bought paint and let it sit for weeks upstairs before touching it.

Goddammit, everything about Emily just went through me. She was the lightning bolt that was needed to revive the monster back to life.

And she did just that.

The taste of her skin. Her hands pulling me tight to her chest. The smell of her skin, her sheets, the heat in the room building like we were in the middle of a heatwave.

My fingers eased down into her panties. I felt a smoothness that made me pulse inside my jeans. There was no room for comfort between my legs, my thickness growing even thicker, twisting and curling, trying to find an exit. I groaned at the uncomfortable feeling but Emily liked when I did that. I pulled away from her breast with a pop sound and looked up at her. She had her head back, she slid her hands from my head. Her right hand grabbed for my back, clawing at me, while her other hand grabbed for the sheets.

With one hand I stripped her of her panties. And my hand kept exploring…

The smoothness of her body gave way to a warm curve. My fingertips touched her wetness. Gently, using just my middle finger, I peeled her open, sliding down, curling, feeling her pulse against my touch. I came right back up, hooking against her clit. That’s when her hips bucked as she sighed.

“Fuck,” she said, sounding beautifully filthy. “Fuck, yes. Jake…”

I kissed her breast again. Then I said, “Say my name again, princess. Keep fucking saying it.”

“Jake,” she groaned. “Keep fucking going… Jake…”

I added a second finger to my arsenal.

Two fingers against her clit. I began to move in all directions, feeling her tender nub. I moved down and thrust, entering her. Her hips lifted off the bed and her body tensed up. She clenched against my touch as I sank my fingers deeper into her core. I kissed her breast again and brought my teeth together with a groan. I pulled and kept going, making Emily let out a whimpering cry. Her nails scratched at my back and I released my hold on her breast.

I brought my fingers out of her sex and brought them up, leaving her own sweet honey as evidence of just how wildly perfect she was.

I brought my hand up her body and cupped her breast again. I hovered over her body, a little distance between us, enough so that Emily could take what she wanted from me.

Her hands grabbed for my jeans again. She moved fast to open my jeans, fighting with the button, the zipper, her hands pushing at the sides, demanding that they go down. She even had the guts to grab my boxers at the same time, not wanting to waste a second.

As my cock popped free, tall and full, she lost interest in my jeans. She looked down, as did I, watching as her right hand moved down my lower stomach, shaking, as her left hand touched me. The feel of her fingers against my steel hardness made me suck in a breath. I balanced myself with one hand as I reached with the other to shove my jeans and boxers down enough to kick them off.

Just like that, we were both naked in her bed.

A moment I thought would never happen. No. A moment I said would never happen.

I was breaking a promise that I wasn’t sure even mattered. But I couldn’t help it.

I wanted Emily. I fucking needed Emily.

Her hand curled around what she could hold of me. She stroked root to tip and ran her hand over me.

I gritted my teeth and growled.

“Fuck, Em,” I said.

“Fuck, Jake,” she whispered back.

She had this little vixen smile on her face. Enough to make me want to explode.

Damn me for admitting it, but I was already halfway ready to go. My own fault for letting things get so backed up. If it wasn’t myself doing it, it hadn’t been done. This was the first time I felt something so passionate with another woman since…

Emily slid her hand back down my cock.

I grabbed her hips and squeezed. She jumped, ticklish. She let out a laughing groan. Her breasts jumped when she did. Her hair was sprawled out across the bed. We were so exposed to each other, and not just naked bodies.

Fuck.

I slid my hand to the back of her neck and my fingers into her hair. I came down and kissed her, unable to look at her anymore. I was either going to fall deeper than I ever imagined or just pull away and run the fuck away.

Her hand squeezed tight at my root, jerking at me. My hand released its hold on her hip and slid around and down, touching her slit. She was ready. I was ready.

I grabbed at her wrist and pulled her hand away from me. I took her hand and placed it against my stomach. Almost as if by instinct, her fingertips began to move up and down against my stomach, counting all the muscles.

My hand touched at her inner thigh, keeping her legs open.

I looked up at her. Our eyes locked tight. There were a few seconds where everything connected. Feeling all these things at once.

Emily gave a nod. A nod that it was okay. A nod that what I wanted was okay. A nod that everything would be okay.

I came forward with my body. I moved my hand to her hip and then up to her side. I felt her ribs and something about it was fucking sexy. I did the same with my other hand, holding her where I wanted her as my body touched hers. I felt the swell of warmth encompass me as I thrust forward, entering her.

Barely even an inch inside her and I gritted my teeth and held my breath.

“Jake,” she groaned.

Her hands grabbed my arms.

She was damn near shaking as I sank deeper into her.

With a hard thrust, I took care of everything.

I looked down and watched as my cock slid into her. Her pussy sheathed me with a dangerous tightness. I pulled my hips back just a little and thrust forward again. Emily groaned. So I did it again. And again. And again.

I watched the way her body moved against my touch. The way her nails dug so hard into my arms it hurt. But it was a good hurt. I didn’t mind the pain. Trust me, I was used to pain.

I fucked as hard as I could forward, so hard that her ass came up off the bed. Just enough so that I could bring my hands to her ass. I lifted her and walked her across the bed, putting my knees on the bed, putting her where I fucking wanted her.

My hands once again ran up her body, one hand stopping at her breast, another at her face. My thumb stroked her cheek. Emily turned her head and gently kissed my thumb. She opened her mouth and grabbed for my thumb. A move so fucking small but so fucking sexy.

She was killing me. Literally killing me. Taking whatever shreds were left of my life and heart and shredding them even more. And yet I didn’t stop her.

I gritted my teeth and fucked at her again.

She shut her eyes, groaned, and bit at my thumb.

I pulled back and thrust again. I settled into a rhythm that I liked. That I wanted. And it was the same rhythm that she liked too.

As the bed began to make noise, not nearly as much noise as Emily did, she opened her mouth, letting my thumb go. She put her head back, arching her chest at me again. I lowered myself down, my chest touching hers. Such an intimate thing to feel. The warmth and comfort of a woman’s body. Her breasts pressed against my chest. Our two hearts racing on opposite sides of our chests.

I started to thrust faster, harder. Everything in my head started to finally slip away.

Emily hooked her legs around mine as though she were telling me we were connected once and for all and I wasn’t going to get the fuck away.

Which was fine.

I pulled back and fucked even harder.

It went beyond feeling good. I grunted each time I sank into her. Memorizing her body, refusing to make any comparisons to what I had known even though that was a blatant lie.

She finally looked at me, a desperate look on her face. She touched my face, her nails pulling at the scruff on my face.

“Jake… now…”

I lowered my mouth to hers as she strained to kiss back.

Our lips touched and tongues instantly began to wrestle. She let out a long groan, unable to kiss me, her body reaching climax. I was deep inside her body as she came. An endless throbbing feeling attacked my cock, wanting me to do the same.

But not yet.

I was holding off.

This moment was for her. About her.

She kissed me again, groaning, curling her arms around my head. Groaning, growling, fucking biting at me.

The craziest kiss I could remember.

The hottest sex I could remember.

Yet I felt fucking guilty…