What are you doing?

I stared into his dark eyes and felt my heart love him even more.

“There’s a part of me nobody knows about,” I said.

“Okay. You have a thing for men in princess dresses? Because what we just did…”

“Funny,” I said. “I was engaged, Jake.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Yeah. Really serious stuff.”

“Obviously.”

“He was a little older than me. Mid twenties. I was just nineteen at the time. I was sort of confused in life. I fell in love with his daughter more than him. I realize this now.”

“His daughter…”

“Yeah, Jake.” I swallowed hard. “He got a girl pregnant when he was twenty. She left him with the baby and he raised her. I think in some strange way I was just looking for a family. I didn’t want the party life and all that. He seemed stable. And we were… whatever. I took care of his kid. For a couple years actually. I did everything. I taught her to read. Write. Everything. He was out going to law school and working. But the thing, Jake? He was with his daughter’s mother.”

“Shit.”

I swallowed again. I had never told anyone the story before. Anyone who knew me then knew I had a boyfriend, it was serious, but it didn’t work out. He had a kid. Things didn’t work. Life goes on.

“He decided to get back with her for real,” I said. “He took her away from me. His daughter, I mean. I was so close to her. We talked about everything. And he just… ripped…”

Jake touched my hair. “Fuck, Em. Why didn’t you ever tell me this?”

“I didn’t want you to think I was crazy,” I said. “That I’m looking for a single guy with a kid. I’m not. And it hurt so bad before. So fucking bad. I guess… I guess what I’m trying to tell you, Jake, is that the way I feel about you and Sadie, I’m willing to risk my heart for that. I stood there with his daughter clinging to my leg. Begging me not to let her go. Crying her eyes out. Wanting to know why she had to go. She thought she did something wrong and I didn’t love her anymore. And maybe that’s what he told her. To lessen the blow on himself and the mother. I don’t know. I never saw them again. I never heard from them again. I was empty. Alone. I had no idea what to do after that.”

“Jesus, Em,” Jake said. “You held all that in because of me and Sadie?”

“Crazy neighbor,” I whispered.

“Hardly. I’m really sorry you went through that. You lost someone you loved. More than one person. Then you took care of your grandmother. Shit.” Jake hugged me. His strong hands against my skin. “You’re so fucking strong, Em. So fucking perfect. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Stop,” I said. “I just don’t want you to think I’m crazy. I would never hurt you or Sadie. I would never try to steal Sadie from you. I would never try to steal memories from Sadie either. I would…”

“Em, I know all of this,” Jake said. “I don’t want you worrying about that shit. Sadie loves you. And I love you. In my head, I’ve got things playing out that scare me.”

“Like what?”

“You being there when she’s older. Think about it from my eyes for a second. I have to be there for everything. Her first crush. Kiss. Breakup. When she gets her period. How the fuck do I handle that, huh? On top of that, I have to keep working, managing the schedules, cooking, just so much. And not that I look to you to cook me food or something, Em, but if you’re there and you guide Sadie down that unknown road, the parts I know nothing about, then, shit, I’ll give you the rest of my life. I promise. Because that’s something that would matter so much…”

Jake swallowed hard. A lump in his throat. He blinked fast.

“I’m not going anywhere, Jake,” I said. “You are the biggest asshole I’ve ever met. You were mean, crude, rude, a prick… but I knew there was something behind it all. Because you never actually tried to hurt me.”

“I’m really sorry you went through that,” Jake said.

“Me too,” I said. “I let myself get too exposed. I thought I was doing something right. Something nobody did for me. And it hurt bad. Sometimes I fear the same could happen with you, Jake. I mean you could wake up tomorrow and just be done.”

“Em,” he said, stroking a piece of hair out of my face. “Listen to me. I would never expose my daughter’s heart in a way that would crush it. If I didn’t trust this, us, you and me, I wouldn’t let Sadie get so close.”

“Thank you for trusting me,” I said.

“Thank you for being naked with me in your bed.”

I laughed. “Perv.”

“You’re the one that took a dress off me,” Jake said.

“For good cause,” I said and kissed him.

I reached down and felt him. Growing harder by the second.

I broke the kiss to look at the clock.

“Em,” Jake said.

“What?”

He grinned. “We’ve still got plenty of time to fool around…”

* * *

I sat on the top step of my porch with a cup of coffee when Jake got back with Sadie.

He got out of the truck with a smirk on his face. That crazy wild in love feeling, our eyes locking, knowing all the stuff we had been doing to each other all afternoon.

Sadie got out of the truck and my thoughts were erased.

She was still in her princess costume.

When she looked at me, she smiled big and started to run across the yard.

“Sadie!” Jake yelled.

She climbed over the little white fence and hurried to my porch.

My heart was tender, aching, thinking about what I had confessed to Jake. It was a different time in my life when all that happened. I fell in love too fast, and I fell in love with a kid that wasn’t mine. I really thought I had been doing good by it all but it all fell apart. I still had dreams of what had happened.

Sadie plopped down next to me.

If I ever lost Sadie it would be worse than anything I could imagine. The way she looked up at me just told me everything I needed to know. I vowed to myself to forever talk about Everly. I would spend the rest of my life loving Jake, taking care of Sadie, and learning as much as I could about Everly so Sadie would never feel as though she would forget her mother. It was a huge burden, but when I looked over and saw Jake standing with Sadie’s pink bag on his shoulder, I knew it was worth it. The wild hunk of a man, looking ten feet tall, ten feet wide, tattoos everywhere, dark, forever brooding eyes, he was worth anything and everything.

“How was your day, Sadie?” I asked.

Sadie put her hand to mine. “You were there for most of it, Emily.”

“I know. What else happened today?”

“Lisa’s house was boring. But I did color something.”

“Can I see it?”

“That’s why I came over. But I forgot my bag.” Sadie stood up. “Daddy! I need my bag!”

Jake walked across the yard and held the bag out. Then he bowed. “Anything for the princess.”

“Thank you, good sir,” Sadie said.

I cracked up laughing.

Sadie opened her bag and took out a picture. It was a picture of a woman holding the hand of a little girl. They were standing under an apple tree. With a swing set.

It was a drawing of the backyard.

I swallowed hard.

Sadie drew a picture of herself and her…

“It’s you and me!” Sadie said. “I made it for you.”

I sucked in a breath. “Really?”

“Yeah. You don’t have any drawings on your frigerator,” Sadie said.

I looked at Jake.

“It’s true,” Jake said. “You need something on your frigerator.”

“Sadie… this is so beautiful.”

I felt like I could cry.

“You really like it?”

“I really love it,” I said. “I’m going to hang it up right now.”

“And then you’re coming over for dinner?” Sadie asked.

“Oh. Sadie. I…”

I glanced back at Jake. He shrugged his shoulders, smiling.

“I would love to come over for dinner,” I said.

“Can we have a tea party? Just you and me?”

“Of course we can, Sadie.”

“Best night ever,” Sadie said. She jumped up. “I have to get home. I have to get prepared.”

She jumped off the second step and screamed as she started to run.

I looked at Jake. “Are you sure?”

Jake put a hand out. I gave him my hand. He kissed it. “Anything for my two princesses…”