Chapter Fifteen

Owned

Juliana

Now I’m the one trying to catch my breath. I lie back, panting, trying to be pissed at him, at me, at this situation, but he’s kissing me—my thighs, between my legs—as he kneads into my flesh.

He’s groaning like he’s getting some sort of satisfaction out of going down on me, an act that now, for the life of me, I don’t know why I have never let a man do.

His pussy, he said. I don’t know if I agreed that it was his, but if I did, I can blame it on the orgasm, the best orgasm I have ever experienced, with any man, including him, in my entire life.

He sucks hard on my thigh; one then the other. He does the same on each hip, then right above my opening where I am bare. Then he goes back and runs his tongue up and down outside of me slowly. Then he’s back to sucking on each thigh, each hip, and across my belly before he stands.

“Open your eyes, Juliana. Look at the mess you’ve made of my beard, my hair.”

I look up as he’s looking at his reflection, his body between my still spread legs

“Fucking breakfast of champs is goddamn right.” He smirks before bending down and pressing his lips hard against mine. His lips vibrate against mine as he says, “I’m eating that every fucking morning.”

I sigh, and he opens his eyes.

“What?”

“You don’t listen. I told you I have—”

“Me. You have me back.” His eyes narrow as he searches mine. “Say something.”

“I live with—”

“Move the fuck out,” he demands.

“It’s my house,” I tell him.

“Sell the fucking thing,” he says it as if it’s no big deal.

“It’s not that easy. It’s not. And Garrett, how can you expect me to trust in you, in us?”

He steps back and looks at me as if I have slapped him.

“Six years,” I say, pushing myself up and off the counter.

“Six years of hell, and it’s fucking over. I’m back. I want my fucking family.” He’s still looking at me like he’s shocked. “You want that, too.”

“Your family is back. You and your brothers, you and Mags, you and your mother.” I pause. “And soon Brandon will know.”

“Fuck that.” He walks around me and turns on the water. He cups the running water in his hands and splashes it on his face. Then he squirts soap in his hands and scrubs his beard. “If you think I can watch you with another man living our life...again, you’re wrong. If you think I’m gonna make Brandon go to a place he clearly hates, you’re wrong. If you think the next time that fucker is eating your pussy, you won’t fucking close your eyes and wish it were me, you’re fucking wrong.” He grabs a towel and rubs it over his face, then throws it in the laundry basket before he turns and looks at me. “Don’t be fucking wrong.” Then he walks out, shutting the door behind him.

I look in the mirror, searching for answers I can’t find.

I grab his towel and rinse it off to clean myself up. When I look down, I gasp. My entire lower body is marked purple where he was sucking my flesh.

That asshole.

After cleaning up, I walk out, ready to let him have it, when I see him sitting with his head in his hands, looking at the floor. It hurts to see him hurt, but it kills when he hurts me.

No.

Never again.

No matter how hard it is to miss him, to love him in silence, to wish things could be different.

I sit down next to him. “Brandon is the focus.”

He looks up and glares at me. “Hard to focus on what’s important when you have two hundred and fifty fucking watts of regret blinding you.”

“You’re gonna run again.” I shake my head. “I knew you were—”

“You clearly know nothing about me. And more clearly, I never knew you. I’m not running. I need more fucking time to figure out what the hell I’m gonna do.”

“Do what’s best for Brandon,” I offer up my suggestion.

“I fucking tried,” he sneers at me.

We both stop talking when Gage walks in the house. Every night after he says goodnight to Brandon, and Brandon and I are in bed, he goes to Phoenix’s cabin. I’m glad he has an outlet. I wish I did.

I stand up and wipe away a tear I didn’t know had fallen. “Gage, it’s—”

He holds up his hand, stopping me. “None of my business.” Then walks into his office and shuts the door behind him.

“We need to tell him you need more time.”

“Fine.” Garrett stands.

Garrett knocks once and opens the door to Gage’s office, me following.

“I’m working.” Gage doesn’t even look up.

“It’ll just take a couple minutes,” I tell him.

“Go ahead,” he huffs.

“We need to wait to tell Brand,” Garrett says.

He looks up, seeming a bit shocked. “We said a week.”

“I need more time.” Garrett’s eyes looked pained.

“Why?” Gage asks.

“He and I aren’t clicking. He and Gray are closer. I need more time.”

He’s mentioned this to Mags. I overheard him, but I can’t believe that’s the reason.

“I told you, as soon as he knows—”

“Shut the fuck up, Juliana. Jesus, just shut up,” he snaps at me.

“Dad?”

I look back and see Brandon standing in the doorway, and guilt washes over me. I step toward him to address the issue, but Gage is quicker.

“You have a nightmare?” Gage asks him.

“Why are they fighting? What do you need to tell me?”

“It’s nothing,” Gage tries to cover it up, but Brandon...Brandon is so smart.

His face scrunches up like he’s pissed. “Just tell me!”

“Hey, bud, come here.” Gage reaches for him.

“No. Just tell me why they fight all the time, Dad. Please, just tell me.” His pleading eyes crush me.

“Okay.” He grabs him and pulls him into a hug. “Okay.”

It is evident from the length of the hug that this is going to happen...now.

Gage. I don’t even like the man, but he is hurting, and it’s my fault. My heart breaks for him.

“Dad, you’re squishing me,” Brandon’s muffled voice comes out.

“Sorry, bud.” He releases him, stands, and takes his hand. “Let’s talk.”

We walk out into the living room behind them. They sit on the couch, and Garrett sits on a chair across from it. I take the other.

“Why does everyone look sad?” Brand knots his hands on his lap as he looks around.

“We’re not sad, bud. We’re hoping you’re big enough to understand something that’s very adult.” He takes his hand.

“I’m a big boy, Dad. Your little man. I can even use a hammer and measure.”

Gage’s eyes grow bigger, unshed tears shining in them.

I am a horrible person.

He clears his throat. “You know how we talked about Grandpa Falcon not being my real dad?”

“You mean biological?”

“Yeah, well...” Gage smiles at him. “I’m always gonna be...” Gage stops, releasing a slow breath. He can’t seem to finish the words.

I look at Garrett who looks the same as I feel—guilty.

Brandon’s expression changes, and his little mouth drops open. Then he cocks his head to the side. “Did my biological father die?”

“No, bud, but he was sick. Really, really sick for a long time.”

His brows knit in confusion. “So, you’re not my biological dad?”

“I love you and have since the day you were born. I love you and will never ever not be here for anything you need.”

His lower lip starts to quiver. “Dad, I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to go.” Tears spring to his eyes, and Gage’s held-in ones fall.

He pulls him into a hug. “I’m not going anywhere, bud. I’m not.”

“Is he gonna try to take me? Is he gonna make me see him? And Mom and you, and...”

Gage’s hug tightens. “I’m always gonna be here.”

He pushes away from him and yells as more tears fall, “No! No, you aren’t! You made me go with Mom when I wanted to stay with you! You made me go there, and I don’t even like to! You made me! You—”

“Brandon, she’s your mom, bud.” Gage tries to grab his hand.

“You made yours go away! Make her! Make her go away!” Brandon looks at me. What he says next hurts worse than anything I have ever experienced in my life. “I hate you! I hate you, and I hate Peter. And I don’t like your house!”

I try to find words to comfort him when I am dying inside. “I understand you’re angry, confused—”

“No! I want to be here! I want to be with Mags and Dad. And I want to know my uncles and Phoenix!” he screams at me.

“Hey. Hey now. What’s going on in here with you, my boy?” Mags asks, coming in from behind us.

“I hate them!”

She slowly walks over and sits down. “Come here, Brand.” She holds her arms out, and he can’t get to her fast enough. That should be me. It should be me he takes comfort in. “Tell me. Tell me what’s causing you to be so angry,” she says, holding his head against her chest as she rubs her hand down the back of it over and over again.

His body shakes as he sniffs and heaves, trying to catch his breath. “He’s gonna let my biological dad take me, Mags. He’s gonna, just like he did Mom. I wanna stay here, Mags. I wanna stay here with you and Dad. And...” He sobs. “I wanna stay here.”

“Okay, let’s try to put your worry to rest, my boy, shall we?” Mags holds his face in her hand and gives him a sweet smile.

He pulls away and looks up at her then points his finger. “Don’t you lie to me.”

“I’m not going to. Neither is your dad, your mom, or your other dad.”

“I don’t want”—he stops and takes a breath, trying to calm himself as his body shakes—”another dad, Mags. I don’t. He’s gonna try to take me. He’s gonna—”

“Hey, Brandon,” Garrett says as he gets up and walks over to sit on the arm of the couch next to Mags. “Buddy, he...I...That will never happen.”

Brand looks at him, and then at Gage.

Garrett move closer to him and takes his hand. Then he looks at me before looking at Mags again.

“Brandon, I was in a bad place.” Garrett pauses. “I was sick for a long time. I knew I couldn’t be a good dad, not like Gage. I’m really sorry about that, but I’m here now. I want to get to know you. I want to answer whatever questions you have, and I want you to know I will never come between you and Gage. But, Brandon, I wanna be a part of your life. I do. And I hope you can give me a chance.”

Brandon looks completely confused, but the tears, the worry in his eyes, they have subsided.

“Dad?” he asks, looking at Gage. “Is he my...? Is he my...?”

“Yeah, bud, Garrett’s your dad.”

“And you, too?”

Gage nods.

“And he’s not gonna try to take me away?”

“No, bud. He’s gonna live here and get to know you. He’s better now and wants to be a part of your life, too.”

“So, you’re really my”—he pauses and scratches his head in thought—”my uncle?”

“Yeah.”

“Gage is your family. Always has been, and always will be,” Mags tells Brandon. “Garrett’s home now, he’s better, and now that you’re older, it was time to tell you. But nothing changes, my boy; just more people around to love you and help raise you.”

“Like you do, Dad.” Brand pauses and swallows hard. “I mean, Gage?”

“Pretty much.” Mags smiles sadly as she looks between him and Gage.

He sits still, looking down at his hands quietly.

I need to say something, anything to let him know that I love him.

“Brandon, I’m so sorry I haven’t always been here. I really am. But please don’t be mad at me. Please don’t. I love you so much. I am begging you, Brandon. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You’re the best part of my life.”

He nods and looks up, lip quivering as he continues to nod.

“I’ve gotta tell you, Brandon...Oh, you like to be called Brand?” Garrett seems to be asking permission to call him that now.

“Dad...Gage...Uncle Gage”—he wipes his eyes, and I see a smile—”calls me Brand.”

“What do you want me to call you?” Garrett asks. “I mean, before you said Brand; does that still hold true?”

Brand looks at Gage, seeking permission. “Brand?”

He nods. “Yeah, Brand suits you.”

He looks back at Garrett. “Still Brand.”

“Okay then, Brand.” Garrett pauses and smiles. “I gotta tell you as fu—”

Mags elbows him hard, and Brand laughs.

“Sorry, Mags. Sorry, Brand. It’s gonna take some getting used to.”

Brand smiles and giggles.

“Like I was saying; as messed up as things are, you sure gotta lot of people who love you in this room. We all want to be part of Brand Falcon’s life. That’s sayin’ something great, right?”

Brand nods as his smile seems to grow, as does the wonder in his eyes as he looks at Garrett.

“Not one of us wants you to be sad or upset, either. Gage, my big brother, your daddy-uncle.” He pauses and smiles at Brand, and Brand smiles back. “He’s someone to look up to. I hope someday you can look up to me, too.”

“You’re tall; I think it’ll be easy to look up to you.” Brand giggles at his own joke.

Garrett lights up right along with him.

“Nothing’s gonna change for you, Brand,” Garrett says, and then laughs, shaking his head. “I mean, it’s a big change, but you’re old enough to handle it, right?”

Brand nods enthusiastically.

“That’s what your mom and Gage said. We’ll all be fine.” Garrett winks at him, and Brand blinks back.

Brand then holds his hand over his belly.

“Are you okay, Brandon?” I ask

“I’m Brand, Mom.” He rolls his eyes at me. “Brand Falcon.”

“I know.” I nod, holding back tears. “But you’re holding your tummy.”

He looks at Garrett. “She thinks I’m a baby.”

“Nah, I think she’s just being a mom,” Garrett says.

“‘Bout time.” Brandon smirks at Gage, repeating something he’s obviously said in front of him.

Gage looks down and then peers up at me.

“Well”—I stand—”I’m going to go make breakfast.” I quickly walk into the kitchen. Busy work. I need busy work.

I open the fridge and pull out a carton of eggs, my hands shaking as I try to remind myself to breathe in and breathe out, in and out, as I hum “Wild Horses” to myself. Right now, I need it.