NO MORE SECRETS
“I’m doing it! I’m really doing it!” I shouted as we made our way around the circular path for the umpteenth time.
Landon had decided that his first order of business in Michigan was to teach me how to drive. He was totally amused that I was having so much fun. Granted, with no other cars around, there really wasn’t anything to be scared of.
“Slow down a bit, baby. The turns don’t need to be that sharp.”
Landon had taken me to the nearly empty parking lot of the mall we used to frequent growing up. The shopping center had closed down years ago, and they never rebuilt. The area was like a ghost town, and some of the old store signs were still intact even though the building was boarded up. But he was intent on running my driving lesson at this exact place.
I turned another corner. “Woohoo!”
“Go a little easier on the gas.”
“I think I might be ready to try the street.”
Landon seemed skeptical. “Let’s stick with step one today. Once you really get the hang of it and ease up on the lead foot, we’ll take you out on the road. We might not get to do that before I leave, but I promise to finish what I started.”
Screeching to a halt, I put the car in park before turning off the ignition. “How long are you here? You never said.”
“A few days. I couldn’t leave the truck for much longer than that on such short notice. My coming out here was really impulsive, and I didn’t take care of everything I needed to before I left.”
Turning my body toward him, I took his hand. “Long-distance relationships don’t have a very good track record, do they?”
“Well, I’m counting on this not being forever.” He looked down at his phone and grimaced.
“What’s wrong?”
“My mother just texted me to confirm tonight. I sort of told my parents I’d go visit them.”
Disappointed at the prospect of not spending time with him later, I frowned. “Oh.”
“I want you to come with me. I want them to know about us.”
A rush of panic hit me. “You do?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know how they’ll react to me.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“What do they know about your…” I hesitated. “Life in California?”
“If you’re asking whether they know about the escort stuff, they don’t. I never had the nerve to tell them, and I really don’t think anyone benefits from them knowing. My mother would be devastated. My relationship with my parents has been strained pretty much from the moment I decided that I wanted to move out west in search of Beverly. They’re good people, and I know they love me and mean well, but I’ve sort of unintentionally distanced myself from them since moving. I do regret that and figured the least I could do is visit them while I’m out here.”
“When was the last time you saw them?”
“About a year ago, they came out for a visit over Christmas. But before that, it had been a couple of years.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. I need to work on being a better son.” Landon squeezed my hand. “So, you’ll come with me, right?”
Sucking up my insecurity, I smiled. “Yeah…sure.”
I let out a deep breath as we stood in front of his parents’ house. It was emotional for me to be back at the place where it all started with Landon so many years ago.
He rubbed my back. “Don’t be nervous. It’ll be fine.”
“They’re gonna freak out when they realize who I am.”
“Well, then, that’s their problem if they do.”
Marjorie Roderick answered the door and immediately pulled Landon into a hug. “Landon...honey, welcome home. It’s so good to see you, son.”
“You, too, Mom.”
With short, blonde hair, Landon’s mother had a very all-American look. She really hadn’t changed all that much. She had to have been in her late fifties or early sixties now.
She looked at me. “I didn’t realize you were bringing a friend.”
“Yes. She’s the reason I’m in Michigan.” Landon smiled at me reassuringly and paused. “It’s Rana, Mom. You remember her…”
She squinted, examining my face. “Rana? Rana…Saloomi?”
Grinning nervously, I shrugged. “Yes, it’s me.” My jitters caused words to stumble out. “I’ve…had a nose job.”
I probably shouldn’t have just come out and said that. But I was so nervous and figured I would just address it head-on.
Marjorie leaned in to hug me. “Oh, my. You look so…”
“Different, yes,” I said.
“I was going to say beautiful. But you always were, honey.”
“Well, thank you.”
Marjorie looked at her son. “But admittedly, I’m confused…”
“I can understand that,” I said.
Landon finally offered the explanation she was waiting for. “We reconnected this past year, started talking on the phone. And then Rana came out to visit me in Cali. The rest is history. Now, she’s my girlfriend.”
It warmed me to hear Landon call me that. Even though he’d told me he loved me, it was the first time he’d labeled me his girlfriend.
As expected, she seemed genuinely shocked. “Wow. This is just so unexpected, but honestly…anything that brings Landon back to Michigan for a visit is a great thing in my book.”
Landon’s father, Jim, entered the room.
“Son!”
Landon and he embraced and patted each other firmly on the back.
“Hey, Dad. Missed you.”
Marjorie introduced me. “Jim, you remember Rana Saloomi, don’t you…from years back?”
Jim looked stunned. “Well, I’ll be damned. You look completely different.”
“So I’ve been told.”
“Landon and Rana have reconnected. They’re dating.”
I felt the need to immediately address the elephant in the room with Landon’s dad. “I’m very sorry for what happened years ago, the way my parents left the apartment.”
Jim lifted his hand up to stop me from going on about it any further “You don’t need to apologize for that. It wasn’t your fault.”
Marjorie added, “You were always very respectful. We never blamed you. I actually remember feeling sad for Landon because he’d lost a friend when you left.”
Landon and I looked at each other for a brief moment, exchanging smiles.
“Things were pretty messed up back then with my parents,” I said. “Thank you for understanding.”
“No thanks necessary,” she said. “Honestly…I feel that we owe you now for getting Landon back here for a visit.”
I actually felt really bad for Landon’s mother. It was clear that she’d been hurt by his virtual disappearance from their lives.
Landon offered her another embrace. “I’m sorry it’s been so long.”
Marjorie then looked right at me when she said, “We really love our son, and we’ve always just wanted what’s best for him. But you know, you can only hold your kids close for so long. At some point, you just have to let them go, let them discover themselves. I couldn’t keep him here no matter how much I begged, and then I realized that he had to live his life and learn from his experiences. Letting him go to California was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I knew I couldn’t stop him.”
Landon’s situation was proof that even people with two parents and a seemingly perfect upbringing can screw up in life.
“I didn’t always have my head on straight, but I finally landed on my feet, Mom. You don’t have to worry about me anymore. But I do need to apologize for alienating you guys somewhat all these years. The separation was just something I had to go through to get to where I am now. Believe me, you both did everything right. You were the best parents anyone could’ve asked for.”
His mother looked like she was about to cry. “Well, that’s very nice of you to say. And I will take what I can get in terms of visits from my handsome son.”
We ended up sitting down to dinner and over the course of the evening, I actually found myself really enjoying their company. We laughed a lot, in particular when Landon told the story of the first time his parents saw his tattoos.
It was really strange being back in the place where I used to live, although the garage was back to being just that—a place to park cars and store things. An air of nostalgia definitely followed me around the entire night.
After supper, Landon and I took a walk around the old neighborhood. It was surreal to be back on this street, looking at the very same cracks in the sidewalk I used to ride over with my bike.
We strolled and reminisced until an unexpected run-in interrupted our evening.
We’d just made our way around the circle block when we ended up in front of Mrs. Sheen’s house. A female was in the driveway, leaning into a car. She looked up for a moment and saw us approaching.
In an apparent warning, Landon squeezed my hand before he said, “Hey, Kelsie.”
She used her hand as a visor despite the fact that there wasn’t any sun. “Holy crap. Landon? Is that you?”
Even though he’d said her name, it took me a few seconds to realize it was Kelsie, Landon’s ex and my former thirteen-year-old nemesis.
Holy shit.
What timing.
Did she still live at home?
“Wow. I haven’t seen you in years. I barely recognized you,” she said.
“Yeah, I’m here visiting my parents.”
Kelsie had the same dark blonde hair I remembered, although she was definitely a little heavier now.
Landon peeked into the car. “Who’s this little guy?”
“This is Bryce. His dad is in the military and was just deployed, so I’m spending some time with Mom. We actually live on base in Illinois.”
“Wow. Well, thank him for his service.”
She nodded. “How’s California? You find what you were looking for?”
“Yeah.” He looked straight at me. “Yeah, I finally found what I’ve been looking for.”
“Good. Good.” She looked at my face but didn’t acknowledge me or introduce herself. “Well, you guys have a good night.”
“You, too,” I said.
Once we had walked out of her earshot, Landon finally said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know whether you wanted me to introduce you or not. I know you hated her, and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I suspected you didn’t want me to say anything.”
“I was praying you didn’t say my name. I’m really glad you didn’t. That’s the beauty of looking different. If I run into someone from my past who I don’t want to see, they don’t know it’s me anyway.”
“I didn’t want you to feel like you had to explain shit to her.”
“Good call.”
Our hands were intertwined as we continued on our walk.
“Aren’t you proud of me?” I chuckled. “We saw Kelsie, and I didn’t even get jealous.”
He dragged me playfully toward him. “That’s because I think you finally know you don’t have anything to be jealous about.”
We stopped in front of his parents’ house, both of us hesitant to go back inside.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I looked up at him. “I’m really glad we came for this visit.”
“Me, too. There was a part of me that had been ashamed of what I’ve been hiding from my folks. I was avoiding them so I didn’t have to deal with that. Your acceptance of me after everything I told you really helped me to forgive myself. It gave me the courage to face my parents again tonight. I had to forgive myself first, I think.”
Landon was only going to be here a couple more days. Soon I was going to lose the opportunity to tell him my own truth in person. Tonight made me more certain than ever that there couldn’t be any more secrets between us.
I knew there was a good chance that telling him could backfire, that he could turn on me if he took things personally in any way. He could very well lose respect for me.
Telling him the truth was a huge risk but one I needed to take.