Chapter 7
Monroe
There was a knock on my bedroom door Monday morning that woke me.
“Come in,” I called out.
I rolled over toward the door and saw Nikki walking in with a new bouquet of flowers. This would be the third bouquet I was receiving in as many days.
Yesterday morning, like Saturday morning, had me sitting at the island in the kitchen eating breakfast with Nikki and Vaughn when the second bouquet of flowers was delivered. They were different, though. A short, round, glass vase filled with violet hyacinths preceded Vaughn as he walked into the kitchen. My lips parted as the fragrant flowers were set in front of me. I pulled the card from the envelope and read it.
I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Monroe, but I’m going to ask for it anyway. I’m sorry, my angel. Please forgive me. -- Stone
My stomach felt funny after reading his card. It wasn’t a good feeling either. I didn’t know why, but for some reason this felt worse than hearing what Stone said about me. Reading his words made me feel like he was hurting and remorseful for what he had done and I wasn’t doing anything to let him know that I forgave him. I had. I forgave him the moment he said he was sorry as he stood in my doorway the night before. I forgave him, but I wasn’t sure I’d so easily forget.
Nikki and Vaughn both read the card. They took one look at me and knew that if they spoke about it I’d be a mess. In that moment, I was grateful for their willingness to let it go for the time being.
So now, watching as Nikki walked into my bedroom with another vase filled with flowers I knew I was going to be in for a discussion with her about it. Vaughn left last night to go back to Ventura. As much as I adored Vaughn, he took his job as big brother seriously and I knew he’d insist, once again, that I was too good for Stone. I was going to need some time to sort this out without his overprotectiveness guiding me.
“At least he’s persistent,” Nikki pointed out.
She brought the vase filled with white tulips over to me as I sat up in the bed. I took the flowers from her and set them on my nightstand. As I pulled the envelope from them I looked back to her and confessed, “I’m not sure I can handle any more of his words.”
“I’m certain you are too curious to not open that envelope,” she countered.
I nodded as I confirmed, “You’re right.”
I pulled the card out of the envelope and read it.
Thinking of you always, my angel. I’m sorry. -- Stone
My eyes filled with tears as I looked from the card to Nikki. I couldn’t do this much longer. How long was I supposed to put someone through this?
She took the card from me and read it. “Oh, mama…” she said, as her voice trailed off and she pulled me into a hug.
“I can’t keep doing this to him,” I cried, tears spilling down my cheeks.
Her brows pulled together. “What? What are you doing to him?”
“I feel like he’s gone well over the top to apologize to me and I keep ignoring him. Between the flowers every morning and the text last night, I’m beginning to feel like a real jerk by not even thanking him for them or telling him that I forgive him.”
“Text?” she repeated.
“Yeah, he sent me a text last night,” I informed her as I reached over to grab my phone. I pulled up the text and read it to her, “I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about how I hurt you and the look on your face when I said those words. I fucked up, Monroe. I’m sorry.”
“He delivered these flowers today,” she stated.
“I know, that’s what I’m saying. I don’t want to keep punishing him.”
“No, babe. I mean, Stone personally delivered these flowers himself today. When I saw him at the door, I didn’t know what his expectation was. He asked if you were here. I told him you were still sleeping and that I didn’t think it’d be wise for him to be here waiting when you got up. He handed me the flowers and asked me to see to it that they were the first thing you saw when you woke up. He said he wanted you to have something beautiful to look at when you opened your eyes.”
“He brought them here?” I asked, still in disbelief.
She nodded.
“What should I do?”
“What do you want to do?”
I looked to the flowers, took in a deep breath, and let it out before I looked back to her. “I want to forgive him. No, that’s wrong. I already forgave him, Nikki. He hurt me, but he’s apologized. A lot. I believe he is sincere. I know he could hurt me again, but I moved here because I felt something there with him. I don’t have it in me to shut him out.”
“Then don’t. Take some time this morning to consider everything and then if you’re still feeling that this is what you need to do, reach out to him. I hate that he hurt you, but I agree that he’s making a valiant effort in asking for your forgiveness. I mean, having every single flower that he’s had delivered be so meticulously planned is a testament to the remorse he’s feeling.”
“What are you talking about?”
She looked at me in disbelief. “Monroe, these aren’t just flowers for the sake of flowers that he’s been sending you. When someone gives white tulips and violet hyacinths they are asking for forgiveness. Even the roses, the red mixed with the white. He’s sorry for what he did to you and the flowers were a big part of that sentiment. He was thoughtful in choosing the ones he did.”
I swallowed hard at this news. I had no idea. “I don’t think I need the morning to think about it. I already know what I want to do,” I noted, my voice rough.
“I knew you would. It’s who you are and it’s okay to want and hope for more with him. My only piece of advice, especially considering all that has happened, is that you guard your heart until you have no doubts that he’ll do everything to protect it.”
“I’ll try,” I answered.
“Going to go make breakfast. You want some?” she asked.
I shook my head. “I’ll grab some tea and a piece of toast on the way out. I need to dance this morning and figure out how I want to do this.”
“Okay. Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will. Thanks, Nikki.”
“No problem, babe,” she finished as she walked out of the bedroom.
I knew I’d be able to work through everything I was feeling much better if I got to the studio and started dancing. On that thought, I shifted, got out of bed, and got myself ready to go to the studio. Before getting dressed, I used the bathroom and brushed my teeth. Then, I threw on a pair of black V-waist dance shorts with a lavender sports bra. I put on a pair of sweats over my shorts and a V-neck tee over my bra. After tying my hair back away from my face and off of my neck, I grabbed my sweatshirt and took off down the hall to the kitchen to grab some tea and toast.
Twenty minutes later, I was letting myself into the studio. I wasted no time in getting down to business. I went to what I had officially dubbed the heartbreak room since it was the last room I was in with Stone before I kicked him out a week ago.
Cranking up the music, I tore off my tee and sweats and began dancing. I ran through a couple of numbers that I was looking to start teaching once I officially opened. This week I’d start accepting signups for lessons. I didn’t know how quickly people would realize I was here, but with any luck I’d have a decent turnout and could start teaching again immediately.
I had been dancing for a solid hour when something caught my eye in the mirror. There he was. Standing in the doorway to the room, Stone was looking at me. I stopped dancing and turned around so that I was no longer looking at his reflection. Stone’s heated eyes traveled the length of my body before coming back to my eyes. Then, he walked into the room and stopped about a foot in front of me.
I held his gaze a moment before I dropped my eyes from his. It was difficult to look at him knowing what he thought of me. He held something out to me. It was then I noticed he had more flowers. It was a bouquet of primrose flowers; I wondered what they signified.
“Wanted to personally give you flowers today. Stopped by your place this morning, but you were still asleep. Decided I wanted you to have those when you woke up, but that I’d need to get more so I could give them to you myself.”
My lips parted, but I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I was too nervous. And, I was still so uncomfortable standing there with him as I remembered what he had said a couple nights ago. I still couldn’t look him in the eye. Either Stone didn’t notice or he didn’t mind because he wasn’t finished talking.
“I’m sorry, Monroe. I am so fucking sorry and I have no clue where to begin telling you everything I want to say to you.”
Shit. I could feel it starting already. That funny feeling in my belly was coming back and it was becoming awfully difficult to swallow past the overwhelming tightness in my throat.
I took the flowers from him, walked to the stereo to turn off the music, set the flowers down, and walked back to where Stone was standing.
“Many years ago, I made a decision about how I’d live my life. I’ve been successful in following through on that decision all these years. Then, a couple of months ago, I met you for the first time. There is no denying how much I was attracted to you. I won’t lie. At that time, it was purely a physical attraction and I would have had no issues with making you another notch on my bedpost. That didn’t happen since you weren’t in town for very long and, well to be honest, I’m glad it didn’t. You see, the more you came out to visit the more you became something else to me. I didn’t want to admit it...not to myself, and certainly not to you. After everything that happened with Emme, I saw a side of you I’d never seen before. You were so vulnerable, but completely okay in it knowing that, no matter what, there were people around that would get you through it. The way you feel for those you love and care about...fuck, anyone would be lucky to have someone like that in their life.”
“Then, there was karaoke night at Lou’s. I’ve already told you what that did to me. I’ve thought about you every single day since that night. I’ve done things I’m not proud of to try to put you out of my mind. None of it works. Most recently, I see you for the first time after Lou’s pulled over on the side of the road with a flat tire. You know everything that’s happened since then, but Monroe, let me make something very clear to you. That decision I made years ago to live my life a certain way involved making sure I didn’t form new attachments to people. I can’t seem to do that with you. I spent an entire day with you a week ago painting walls, hanging mirrors, and changing toilets here and it was the best fucking day of my life.”
He paused a moment. When he spoke again his voice was warm and gentle. “I was wrong. I am sorry. I want the chance to fix what I broke inside you. More than anything, I want you to look at me and smile again.”
I brought my wet eyes to his and whispered my question. “What do they mean?”
His brows drew together, confusion marring his features. “Come again?”
“The flowers. They all have a special meaning based on what they are and their color. What do these stand for?” I asked, gesturing to the primrose bouquet.
He struggled with this. I could tell he wanted me to know, but didn’t want to say it. “I can’t live without you,” he finally bit out.
I sucked in a sharp breath and felt a single tear trail down my cheek.
Stone watched as the tear fell before he brought his pleading eyes to mine. They were begging me to say something.
“I forgave you that night when you came to my place to apologize. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner…” I managed to get out before I was cut off.
Stone immediately wrapped his arms around my waist. He pulled my body tight to his and held me without words for a long time, nuzzling his face in my neck. I held him back, just as tightly.
“I need to know you understand how sorry I am, Monroe. I never should have said what I did Friday night. I rejected you last weekend and then saw you looking better than ever that night. You looked beautiful and your hair was…God, your hair was incredible. Despite that, all I could focus on was the jealousy I felt in seeing Christian’s hand on your thigh at the bar and then his body pressed up against yours on the dancefloor. I had no right to feel the way I did when I made you believe I didn’t want you. I want you, angel. I want you so bad I can’t think about anything else right now. Please tell me you understand and you know that I regret every horrible thing I said about you.”
“I believe you, Stone. I understand.”
Just then, my phone rang. Horrible, horrible timing. “Excuse me a minute,” I sighed, upset by the interruption.
Stone nodded as I walked over to my phone. Even though I couldn’t see him and I refused to look in the mirror, I could feel his eyes on me the entire time.
I picked up my phone, looked at the display, and answered.
“Hey Deacon.”
“Why didn’t you call me?” he asked his greeting.
“I’m sorry?” I responded, caught off guard by what sounded like anger in his voice.
“Just got off the phone with Vaughn a few minutes ago and he told me what happened. Why didn’t you call me?”
“For what? What would you have done?”
“I would have been there for my sister is what I would have done. Monroe, I can’t fucking believe some guy essentially called you a whore and you didn’t call your big brother.”
“Vaughn was here; I was fine.”
“Not according to Vaughn, you weren’t. And, if he hadn’t been there I’m not convinced you would have called us anyway. All the shit that happened leading up to this weekend and we didn’t know anything about it. Hell, Monroe, some shit happened before you even fucking moved and you didn’t tell us. What the fuck, kid?”
“I’m sorry, Deacon. It’s all new stuff to me and I’m doing my best trying to figure out how to handle it all. You know I don’t have much experiencing dealing with this type of thing, mostly because I’ve never been given that opportunity, no thanks to the three of you. I need to try to clean up my own messes.”
“This isn’t a mess, Monroe. And you shouldn’t have to worry about cleaning anything up. You should be home with us so we can make sure this doesn’t happen to you.”
Damn it. If Deacon was this fired up I was sure to be getting a call from Remi later. I was totally going to kick Vaughn’s ass the next time I saw him.
“You can’t protect me for the rest of my life, Deacon. I’m going to be twenty-five this week; don’t you think it’s time I fight my own battles and take care of myself?”
“No. I think it’s time someone treats you like the princess you are.”
“Deac…” I whispered as I trailed off, not knowing what else to say to that.
“I mean it. You deserve way more than it seems like you’ve been getting in the last few weeks. Had I known before you left that this was happening, I’d have brought your ass out there myself and made sure it was known that nobody makes my sister cry.”
Yep. That was Deacon. He used intimidation to make sure nobody messed with me. I went on two dates ever in my life and each date was with a different person. I never got a second date because the guys were too scared of my brothers. Deacon was usually the ringleader of Operation Scare-All-of-Monroe’s-Potential-Suitors-Away.
“That’s life, though,” I stated, knowing it was a lame excuse.
“Not yours, Monroe Archer. The dreamer who has had stars in her eyes since she was a little girl wanting Prince Charming to come and sweep her off her feet. You’ve always been a princess, kid. Don’t settle for anything less than your prince.”
It seemed like he needed a lesson in fairy-tales, too. I knew, though, that this wouldn’t be a wise thing to address now so I kept my mouth shut on that subject.
“Okay. I’ll try to remember that.”
“You better call me.”
“I will,” I promised.
“I’m fucking serious, Monroe. If I find out that someone makes you cry again and you don’t fucking call me, I’m not going to be happy.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll call you next time.”
“There better not be a next time.”
“I hope there isn’t either, but I promise to call you if there is,” I repeated, hoping I was reassuring him.
He stayed silent so I continued talking.
“Remi’s going to call me, too, isn’t he?” I asked.
“I’m guessing that’s a safe assumption,” Deacon answered honestly.
“Shit.”
“We worry about you. You’re going to have to let him have his words. We aren’t calling to upset you. It just doesn’t feel good to us to know we aren’t there for you when you need us. And considering you don’t call us when shit happens it makes us even more pissed. I’ll reach out to Remi after I hang up with you. Tell him to give you some time before he calls you.”
“I’d appreciate that. And, I understand your concerns, Deacon. I’ll call next time. Thank you for looking out for me.”
“Love you, kid.”
“I love you, too.”
I disconnected the call and dropped my head back to look up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and took in my conversation with Deacon.
“I’m sorry for that, too.”
I whirled around. I was so caught up in the lashing I was getting from Deacon I forgot Stone was standing there. I pulled my brows together at his statement and instead of asking him what it meant I began defending myself.
“Just so you know, Deacon is my brother.”
He winced.
“I figured that much.”
“I didn’t want you to get the wrong impression so I thought it best to tell you.”
“I’m sorry for what I said, Monroe. I know it may not seem that way after what you heard me say, but I don’t think that of you.”
Since I was already having a hard time keeping it together I looked away. If I continued to look in his sad, blue eyes I knew it’d make me cry. I hated that the thought ever crossed his mind enough for the words to ever be said.
“That’s what hurt the most,” I admitted.
“What?” he asked.
“When you walked out of Lou’s after karaoke, I felt like I was nothing. That hurt. Last weekend, when you told me you couldn’t pursue anything with me after you kissed me, that really hurt. But, when you basically called me a whore Friday night in front of everybody, that was like shoving a knife in my heart and twisting it. Anyone else, I wouldn’t have cared. But you? I hate that you think that of me.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I feel like I keep saying that, but I don’t know what else to say. I don’t think you’re a whore, Monroe. We aren’t together, so who you sleep or slept with is none of my business. I’m no saint, trust me. It was wrong for me to make assumptions when I heard you on the phone with your brothers, obviously not knowing that that’s who they were, and as a result I made a huge mistake.”
What was I supposed to say to that?
“So, what now?” I quizzed him.
Stone’s eyes searched my face a moment before he shared, “I’d like you to do something with me that I’ve never done with a woman before.”
My heart rate picked up.
“Will you let me take you out for dinner tonight?” he pleaded.
I froze. My body was immobile. Xander Stone just asked me out to dinner. Tonight.
“You mean, you want to take me on a date?” I asked, the shock in my voice obvious.
“Yes, Monroe. I want to take you out on a date.”
I tilted my head to the side, contemplating what he said before he asked me, and realized I was intrigued.
“Wait, you’ve never gone on a date?” I challenged.
He shook his head and explained, “Not on a pick-the-girl-up, take-her-to-dinner, and make-out-in-my-truck-afterward date.”
I bit my lip. The promise of making out with him again had all my senses firing.
“And you are sure you want to do that with me tonight?” I confirmed.
He dipped his chin in acknowledgement.
And because I was a sucker for punishment I continued asking questions. “All of that?”
He nodded again. This time, his blue eyes were swirling with an intense heat in them.
“If I say yes, will you promise to not rip my heart to shreds again?” I asked, really hoping he didn’t take offense to it.
“I ripped your heart to shreds?” he countered, incredulously.
“Would you prefer I said shattered it into millions of tiny pieces?” I answered.
A look of defeat washed over his face. “I’m sorry for that. I can’t promise what will happen down the road, but I will promise you that I will do my very best to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I won’t intentionally hurt you.”
I needed to protect my heart. He had already hurt me, Nikki told me to be careful and guard my heart, and I really didn’t want to have to make good on my promise to call Deacon if Stone made me cry. Even though I knew there was the chance that I’d experience more heartbreak the possible reward of finding a real love made the risk worth it.
“Okay. Then yes, I will go out on a date with you tonight.”
He ended up blinding me with his smile next and, I couldn’t help it, I smiled back at him.
“Fuck,” he began. “It feels good to see you smile again.”
“It feels good to have something to smile about,” I responded. “But I have a question.”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“What should I wear tonight?”
He smirked and expressed, “I’d be more than happy seeing you in this the rest of the night.”
I looked down at myself and back up at him. “You aren’t serious?”
Stone chuckled and maintained, “Well, yeah. I’d love to see you in that the rest of the night. You look fucking amazing and though I might spend most of the night in pain, I’m certain it’ll be more fun when we get to the making out in my truck part of the date.”
“Why would you be in pain?”
He cocked an eyebrow and questioned, “Seriously?”
“Yeah,” I answered honestly.
“Angel, I’m in pain right now just standing here seeing you like this. Not only do you look hot as fuck, but the innocent act is too fucking adorable.”
He snaked an arm around my waist and pulled me next to his body. I felt his arousal between us. It was the second time I’d ever felt that. Realization dawned on me and I understood what he meant.
“Oh,” I whispered.
“Yeah. Oh,” he began. Keeping me pressed to his solid body he explained, “I think it might be frowned upon in most respectable restaurants for you to show up in your underwear.”
I gasped. “This isn’t underwear! These are dance shorts.”
“Right,” he said as though he didn’t believe what I was saying. “Okay, then I don’t think they’ll go for dance shorts either. Wear whatever you are comfortable in. If you go casual, I’ll take you to a laidback restaurant. You want to get dolled up, I’ll take you somewhere fancy.”
“Alright, then. I would like to get fancy. I won’t ever get the opportunity again to be your first. I think that means it’s worth making it special.”
He grinned at me and revealed, “Fuck, you’re cute.”
I gave him a big smile.
“Can I kiss you before I leave?”
I nodded.
Stone brought his mouth down to mine and teased my lips with his. Both of my hands were pressed against his chest, so I slid one up and wrapped it around the back of his neck. I pushed up on my toes and kissed him. My other hand took the same journey and met with the other at the back of his neck before sliding further up into his hair. I wasn’t sure if I was doing any of this right, but it felt good to me. Stone’s arms, which were both wrapped around me, separated. One hand traveled up my back to the back of my head. The other began traveling south. I loved the feel of his hands on my body and was seriously turned on. As our tongues tasted each other and my body reacted to everything I was feeling, I moaned. That must have been encouragement for Stone because his hand that had been resting just above my ass drifted down to cup my ass and squeeze it. That’s when he groaned. This was incredible. It was the most wonderful thing I’d ever felt in my entire life. I was thoroughly enjoying kissing Stone when he tore his mouth from mine.
His intense eyes looked at mine and he promised, “Looking forward to more of that tonight.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “Me, too.”
Stone gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and advised, “I’ll pick you up at your place at six.”
I nodded.
With that, he turned around and walked out. The minute I heard the door chime indicating he walked out, I turned and ran to my phone. I found the number I was looking for and tapped on the screen. It rang three times.
“Hey, babe, what’s up?” Nikki answered.
“Where are you?” I asked, panicked.
“At the salon. Aren’t you next door?”
I was talking a hundred miles a minute when I explained, “Stone was just here. He brought me a bouquet of primrose flowers, told me he was sorry again, told me he couldn’t live without me, and then asked me if I’d do something with him that he’s never done with another woman.”
“Which was?”
“Go out on a date. A real date, though. The kind where you pick up the girl, take her to dinner, and make out with her in your truck afterward.”
“What did you say?”
“Yes.”
Nikki gasped. “When?”
“Six o’clock tonight.”
“Get your ass home. I’ll call Charley; you call Emme. Tell her to meet us at the condo for an emergency meeting. Tell her what you just told me. She’ll bring chocolate, I’m sure, to help with this. I’m following right behind you.”
“Okay, Nikki. Thanks.”
“Love you, babe. See you at home.”
“Love you, too.”
I disconnected with Nikki, threw my sweats, t-shirt, and sweatshirt back on, grabbed my things, and locked up. The minute I got to the car, I put my earbuds in, called Emme, and drove to the condo. I told Emme what was happening and she said she’d be there in less than an hour.
I pulled my earbuds out of my ears, cranked up my music, and tried to remain calm about the fact that I was going to get to make out with Stone in his truck tonight.
It didn’t work.