It was weird to have my friends over here hanging out at Mark’s. Not bad, just weird. We sat around the table eating good food and laughing. They had the typical reaction when they realized Mark’s ex was his neighbor, but I had to admit it didn’t seem all that weird to me anymore. More than once we’d been hanging out on the couch, playing video games, and Suzie would just walk in, looking for her grandmother’s bowl or some other thing. I really thought Emma would run back and forth more often, but it seemed like when my car was here, Suzie tried to keep her over there. At least, I assumed she did, because if I didn’t have my car, Emma was constantly running between the two houses.

I was almost certain she didn’t approve of mine and Mark’s arrangement. She liked me as a person okay, but I was pretty sure she thought I was taking advantage of Mark. It was easy to see how much she cared about him, which I thought was awesome, especially since they shared a daughter. And honestly, I couldn’t blame her for thinking Mark deserved more and better. I thought so too. I just wasn’t a big enough man to let him go so he could find it. I figured at some point, he would decide it was time to find someone who wanted to build a life with him, Emma, Suzie, and Tom because they were all a package deal for sure, and when that happened, I would let him go. But not until then.

Emma was running around with a couple of her friends, and they were having a great time. She was dragging Mr. Monkey around, but when Suzie yelled to her not to drag him in the dirt, she turned around, looking for something. When her eyes met mine, her face lit up. She marched straight toward me with purpose. Then to my surprise, with the utmost seriousness, she thrust the precious monkey to me. “Jay Jay, Mr. Monkey says he wants to stay with you. He knows you’ll keep him safe while I play ‘cause you are my knight.”

Princess and Knight was a game we had been playing since we first built her castle, but this was the first time she had entrusted me with Mr. Monkey. “You got it, princess; I’ll guard him with my life.” She nodded her head, turned around, and ran to her friends to play. I looked up from watching her run off and everyone was looking at me like I had grown two heads. “What?” I asked, trying to act like being trusted with that stupid stuffed monkey wasn’t a big deal, when everyone who knew Emma knew better.

“Nothing,” Tom said with a knowing grin. “Nothing at all. Anyone ready for pie?”

I shot him an appreciative look as everyone moved on to which pie was the best pie—umm chocolate—as we all dug into dessert.

My friends seemed to enjoy themselves. We launched into a conversation about baseball, and I was thrilled to find out that Tom was a huge Texas Rangers fan.

Mark’s neighbor Denise and Casey got on like a house on fire. They were laughing and cutting up until she tried to set him up with her yoga instructor.

“Absolutely never, under any circumstances, are you to try and set me up. After my grandmother set me up with a nice young man at her church who turned out to be at least fifty years old, I made that my number one rule. No setups.

“Oh my God,” Mark said. “You guys and your rules. What did you all do? Sit around one day and come up with a freaking list?”

Matt, Casey, and I looked at each other and laughed. “Actually, we did,” Matt said. I could tell he was about to launch into a story about our rules, so I quickly changed the subject to our recent kayaking trip, hoping to avoid discussing my no kids rule in front of everyone, and I was glad that they let the subject drop.

The only damper on the whole day was Matt and Linc. They spent most of the day ignoring each other and the rest of the day antagonizing each other. It was weird, but about halfway through the get-together, Lincoln got a call to see if he could come in and cover a shift, so he left. After that, everything was relaxed.

I figured between the two of them, there was just too much testosterone and ego floating around. I hoped they found a way to get along, though, because we were heading into summer and Mark loved to cook out, and I wanted to be able to invite them over again because this was fun.

I was sitting there thinking about how well it was going when Mark said, “Justin, can you help me with something in the kitchen?”

“Sure,” I said, confused. There was no more food, so I had no idea what he needed, but I got up and followed him inside. I was just about to ask him, when he turned and looked at me, and then I knew what he wanted.

He pushed me against the wall and kissed me. It was so much like the first time we kissed. Hot and needy. Wanting and desperate. God, I loved it when he got like this. He rubbed his body against mine, and I could feel how hard he was. “I can’t wait until all these people go home and I have you all to myself,” he growled into my ear.

“Fuck, Mark.” I moaned and grabbed his ass and pulled him tighter against me. “How long until they leave?”

“Too long,” he answered, kissing me again, much softer this time. “We had better get back out there.” He sighed.

“Yeah, well, let’s clean up in here real quick, because there is no way I’m going back out there like this.” I chuckled.

“Good idea. I just couldn’t wait to touch you. You have been driving me crazy all day.” He ran his hand lightly down my arm as he stepped back.

“Just wait until all these people leave; I’ll show you how crazy I can drive you.” I kissed him lightly and headed to the table to start putting things away.

* * *

I was just finishing up with my last patient of the morning when my phone rang. For just a second, I forgot Mark was in San Antonio for the day and thought maybe it was him wanting to hit the food truck park for lunch. Instead, it was an unknown number.

“Hello.”

“Justin, it’s Suzie. I’m trying to get a hold of Mark; is he with you?” She sounded panicked. My first thought was how odd it was to hear her sounding so out of sorts. She always seemed so calm and put together. My next thought was that something was obviously wrong.

“No, he had to go to San Antonio today to get the details for that new project they are working on down there. He won’t be back until late tonight. What’s wrong?”

“Crap, I knew that. I just forgot. Shit, I need to go and try to get Rachel or….”

“Suzie, just slow down for a minute. What’s wrong? Is Tom okay? Or Emma, is Emma all right?” I asked her, praying there wasn’t anything seriously wrong.

“Everyone is fine. Well, mostly fine anyway. Tom took off work today, and we headed up to Waco to shop at that silo place. I left Emma with Abby’s mom, Denise, you know from next door. Anyway, she just called, and Emma is running a slight fever and threw up. I’m at least a couple hours out, and I needed to see if Mark could leave work and pick her up. Denise will keep her, but Emma is upset and wants me. Plus, I don’t want her to get Abby or the baby sick.”

“I’ll go get her. It’s no big deal. I had an office day scheduled for this afternoon anyway, so I don’t have any patients. I used to take care of my brother Jake when he was sick, so don’t worry, I know the drill. I’ll pick her up, fill her full of fluids, and keep her company until you get here.”

“Are you sure?” She sounded hesitant. “Can you get into Mark’s?”

“Yeah, seriously. It is no big deal. I’ll just use the key he has hidden under the frog. Most obvious key hiding place ever, by the way,” I pointed out, and she laughed.

“I know, right? Tom and I tell him that all the time.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll leave now and be there in about fifteen minutes. Just let Denise know I’m coming.”

“Okay,” she said. “Listen, Mark has children’s fever reducer in the bathroom medicine cabinet, but don’t give her any unless her fever is over 100°. If it’s over 100°, she’ll take it, but she doesn’t like it; I’m just warning you.” I could tell that while she was unsure about me doing this, she was also relieved to have a solution.

“I’ll let you know when I get her and give you an update, okay?” I hung up and saved her number in my contacts. Then I let my boss know I was leaving and headed out. I was a little worried about how Emma would react to me getting her since Suzie said she was asking for her, but I was hoping I could pinch hit for a couple hours anyway. I ran into the local supermarket and grabbed some Popsicles because I knew they worked as a way to get kids to down some fluid if they didn’t want to drink. I let myself in using the spare key, tossed the Popsicles in the freezer, and then headed next door.

I rang the doorbell, and Denise opened the door, holding the baby. She looked exhausted and a little bit frazzled. “Justin, I’m so glad to see you. Emma is so upset. Bless her heart. Partially because she doesn’t feel good, and we have to cut the play date short, but mostly I think because she wanted Suzie and she wasn’t here. She has been crying on the couch for the last ten minutes or so.”

“Well, let me grab her and take her home, and I’m sure she’ll be feeling better soon.” I went into the living room, and there she was, curled up in a little ball, quietly crying and hugging Mr. Monkey. I reached down and moved that big mop of black curls off her face. “Hey there, princess. How ya doing?” She opened her eyes and looked at me. “Jay Jay!” She reached for me. “I don’t feel good. I think I’m sick.”

“That’s what I hear. Your mommy called me and asked me to come get you and take you home until she gets here. You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” she said, rubbing her eyes. “Will you carry me?”

“Of course, I will, princess. What kind of knight would I be if I let a sick princess walk all the long way home?” I asked her as I hefted her and Mr. Monkey into my arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist.

“You’re silly,” she said, snuggling closer. “It isn’t a long way home; it’s just next door.”

I rubbed her back and headed next door. Once I got her in the house, I went to the bathroom and found the ear thermometer. I took her temperature, and it was 100.2°. I decided to go ahead and give her the fever reducer. Suzie was right; she took it, but she didn’t want to. I bribed her with a Popsicle, hoping it would stay down, and I sent a text to Suzie, letting her know what was going on. Then I asked Emma if she wanted to read a book and of course, she wanted the one with the wild things.

We curled up in the recliner and started to read. We barely made it through the first half, and she was sleeping. She was curled up on my chest, softly snoring, and it was just about the sweetest thing ever. I reached over and grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. I started to look for something to watch. I figured I might as well get comfortable, because there was no way I would risk waking her by moving her.

A couple hours later the door opened, and Suzie came rushing in. I put my finger to my lips to shush her, and she just stopped there in the door, looking at us for a minute. Then, really quietly, she asked how Emma was doing.

“She’s good. I think the fever is down. She kept down the fluids I gave her and she’s been asleep ever since.” I expected her to pick up Emma and head next door, but she just sat down on the couch and looked at me for a little bit.

I wondered what she was thinking, but I decided to wait her out. If there was one thing I’d learned about Suzie: it was that she was never quiet for long.

She looked at me really thoughtfully. “You know I’ve been really worried about Mark ever since you guys started this thing.”

“Yeah, I kinda got the feeling you weren’t too thrilled.” Emma stirred a little, and I rubbed her back to help her settle back down.

“I just worry. You are the first guy he’s dated or whatever you want to call what you guys are doing since we split up. I don’t want him to get hurt. But what confuses me is he said you don’t do kids. But, I mean, for real Justin, look at you. You’re a natural; I just don’t get it.”

“It isn’t that I don’t ‘do’ kids, Suzie. I love kids and, come on, Emma is really hard not to love. It’s that I don’t do stepfamilies. Mark and Emma, along with you and Tom, are a package deal. I get that, and I do want kids someday. Kids that I can love and take care of. But I don’t want a temporary family. I want a forever family.” I have no idea where that came from. I mean, I hadn’t really given much thought to a family, to be honest. But sitting there with Emma curled up in my lap, I knew that really was what I wanted.

“You don’t believe stepfamilies are real families? I’m pretty sure Tom’d be greatly offended by that. He loves Emma like his own daughter.” And just like that, we were right back to her looking at me like I was a waste of space.

“I have no doubt that Tom loves Emma like she’s his own. You can see that in everything he does. But if tomorrow, you decided you were done… Like if you woke up and thought to yourself: you know, this marriage thing just isn’t working for me, do you know where that would leave Tom? Shit out of luck, that’s where. And you know where that would leave Em? Wondering why someone she loved so much, someone she thought of as a father, was just gone. Poof. No longer a part of her life. Just like that. I’m not willing to put myself through that and I for sure am not willing to put Emma through it.”

“Is that what happened to you?” she asked.

“Yeah.” I sighed. “My mom and my stepdad got married when I was ten and my stepbrother Jake was three. He lived with Ron full time though, so he was with us all the time. I was glad to have a little brother. I always wanted one. Well, a dad and a brother. It was like I had hit the jackpot. Ron was a great guy and an even better dad. But then one day when I was fifteen, my mom decided she didn’t want to be married anymore, and we packed up and went to stay with my grandmother for a little while. Then we moved here to Texas and that was that. No more dad, no more brother.”

“That is horrible, Justin. Have you told Mark about this?”

“No. I never talk about it. Never. I don’t know why I just told you all that. You’re a little scary, you know?” And I wasn’t just saying that. She was kinda scary in this let-me-make-you-spill-all-your-secrets kinda way. I could see what Mark saw in her.

She just laughed. “Yeah, that is what Tom tells me too. But seriously, I think you should tell him, Justin. I think it’d help him to understand what is going on with you two. So, whatever happened to your stepfather and brother?”

“I don’t know. I wonder about them sometimes. Usually on their birthdays and holidays. I’ve been thinking about Jake a lot here lately. He should be graduating high school this year. I haven’t seen him since he was eight, but he was so smart and creative. I hope he has great plans for his future.”

“I can’t even imagine what that was like. I’m an only child, and I always wished I had siblings. You know? Honestly, Mark is the closest thing I have to a brother. I know that probably sounds strange, but we should have never gotten married. Neither one of us understood that what we had was a really strong friendship. We were young and had been dating for a couple years. Getting married is just what was next, you know. Naturally, I wouldn’t trade Emma for anything, but still, what we had was never true love. Once I met Tom, I understood the difference. But it would have killed me to lose Mark from my life; I don’t even want to think about what that must be like for you. Well anyway, I should take Em and head home. Just think about talking to him, okay?”

I nodded my agreement and stood up, taking Emma with me. “Jay Jay,” she mumbled, snuggling her head in the crook of my neck.

“Hey, there, princess. Your mommy is here to take you home.”

“But we didn’t read the wild things. You said we would.”

“We read most of it, but you fell asleep. We can finish it next time, okay?”

“Okay, next time. Maybe tomorrow can be next time.”

“Maybe. Do you have Mr. Monkey?” I asked. She didn’t even answer, she just burrowed in deeper and held one hand up, waving him in the air to indicate she had the monkey. Then she lifted up her head and looked me right in the eyes. Lord, I swear those were Mark’s eyes looking back at me. She kissed me on the cheek, leaned down, and whispered in my ear, “I love you, Jay Jay.”

I closed my eyes for just a minute, holding her tight and letting the feelings wash over me. “Back at ya, princess.” I handed her off to Suzie as she looked at me knowingly.

“Let Mark know she is fine. I texted him and told him, but he worries. And, Justin, just one thing before I go. There is a flaw in your theory about stepfamilies. It’s based on the idea that there is anything in this world that would make me decide ‘this marriage thing just isn’t working for me’ and that will never happen. Tom is it for me. I love him and he loves me. We are a forever family because we have both decided we are. I can’t speak for your family, but from things you’ve said, I’m guessing that wasn’t the case for them. Just think about it.”