Sunday, as promised, I let Mark drive back to Austin, and seeing him enjoy the drive was worth it. Riding in the passenger’s seat for those few hours gave me time to think about things. A lot had happened in the last few days. My life was about to change in a big way, but I just wasn’t sure exactly how. I had never been in an actual relationship before. I mean I’d had boyfriends occasionally, but none of them ever long term and nothing even close to what I had with Mark.

I truly had no idea what I was doing. Were we supposed to set up dates for Friday nights, or was it just assumed if we were off, we would be together? I didn’t want to suffocate him, but I didn’t want to be apart either. Damn, this relationship thing was complicated. I mean calling him my boyfriend didn’t seem like enough, but it seemed too soon to call him my partner.

“Hey, what are you thinking about over there? You look so serious.” Mark reached for my hand, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I debated taking the safe way out and saying I was worried about seeing my dad and brother, but then I decided if we were going to make this work we had to communicate with each other. “I was just thinking I don’t know how to do this. This relationship thing,” I said honestly.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m all in. 100%. I just don’t really know what I’m doing. What do I call you when I talk about you? How often do we see each other? How close how quick do I get with Emma? I don’t know where my place is in this. I want to say I want to be the kind of stepparent to Emma that Ron was to me, but Tom already is that stepparent. Then I think, well honestly, I’m not a stepparent at all to her. What I am is her father’s boyfriend. And crap, Mark, I just don’t know.”

“Okay, hold those thoughts,” Mark said. “Just give me a minute to find a place to pull off and let’s talk.”

We just drove a few more miles, but the whole time my mind was whirling. Finally, Mark found a roadside park and pulled off. “All right, let’s talk this through.” And wasn’t that just classically Mark. Calm. Sweet. Caring. As I turned to face him and our eyes met, some of my tension eased.

I took a deep breath and let it all spill out. “Basically, I’m scared. This weekend in San Antonio was perfect. We were perfect. It was like a dream weekend. But real life back in Austin isn’t a dream, and I’m afraid I’m going to screw this up. I mean, I haven’t even met your parents; what if they hate me? I just want this so bad, and I don’t know how to make it work.”

He reached over and pulled me closer. Not close enough, stupid console, but still close enough to touch. He put both hands on the sides of my face and looked into my eyes. I didn’t know what I thought he was going to say, but I wasn’t expecting what came next. “I understand everything you said, and I get it. I do because I’m terrified too.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I mean shit, Justin, I have wanted this with you for so long, and I’m terrified you’ll decide you were wrong and that I’m not enough for you.”

I started to argue with him, but he stopped me with a light sweet kiss.

“Shh, let me finish. I know you love me. I do. My heart feels yours beating in it like you’re part of me. I know this is real, and we are both all in. But what I feel in my heart and what my stupid brain says aren’t the same. My heart says ‘this is it’ and my brain says ‘but what if.’ I think that’s where we both are. It’ll just take our brains a minute to catch up with our heart, that’s all. We can’t do anything about that, but let’s address the simple things we can. You can call me whatever you want. I’m going to call you my boyfriend.

“We will see each other as much as possible. Let’s plan on at least every weekend. I won’t make any plans without talking to you, if you’ll do the same. During the week, we can play it by ear. I’d prefer that we were together every night, but that probably isn’t a reasonable idea at this point. I’ll go with you to Arizona. You’ll come with me to my parents for the 4^th. They’ll love you or they won’t, but it doesn’t matter to me because I love you. As far as the thing with Emma goes, I say we let her set the pace. Divorced kids have two full sets of parents all the time; this is no different. Anything else?”

I just sat there for a minute, looking at him. This man was so amazing. I don’t care what my brain had to say, he was right; our hearts knew the truth. The truth was this was all going to be okay. We were going to figure it out.

“Nope.” I smiled, kissing him. “I would say that about covers it.” He chuckled as he put the truck in drive and took us the rest of the way home.

* * *

I swear Emma must have been sitting in the front window waiting for us to pull in the drive when we got back from San Antonio. We barely even made it in the house, and she was tapping on the back door. Before I could even get to the door, the lock turned, and Emma ran in with Suzie right behind her.

“I tried to get her to give you time to unpack, but she was hearing none of it,” Suzie complained, giving Emma a look that let me know she was less than thrilled with her.

“It’s okay, Suzie. I was going to head right over to get her anyway.”

“Okay well, I’ll leave you to it. I’m missing the end of my show.” And with that, she turned and headed back to her house. That was a bit abrupt for her, but I didn’t have time right now to worry about that. I’d talk to her tomorrow.

Justin met my eyes over Emma’s head, silently asking me what was up. I just shrugged back and swooped Emma up. “How is my sweet pea? Did ya miss me?”

“I did, Daddy, I did. Did you bring me something?” Then she looked over at Justin, and she squealed that excited little girl squeal and reached for him. “Jay Jay, I missed you too. Did you miss me?”

He wrapped her in a hug and answered, “Yes, princess, I did miss you. But I brought you something back.”

“Really! Can I see it now?”

“Yes, you can. Let me get it out of my suitcase.” He put her down and went to his bags. He pulled out the new book, the stuffed Sneetch, and a coffee mug. I knew he bought the book and the stuffed animal, but I didn’t know he bought the mug. “I got you a special cup for when we have hot cocoa. Look at it right here.” He pointed at the picture of the hotel on the mug. “That is where Daddy and I stayed all weekend. It is big hotel. But here is the special thing. Look right here.” He pointed at the writing on the building.

“That’s my name,” Emma gasped. “My name is on the building, Daddy! Did you see that? My name is on my cup and it was on the building.”

“Sure was, sweet pea. We stayed there all weekend and your name was everywhere.” I laughed.

“What else is in your hand?” she asked Justin, trying to peek around to see.

“Oh, just a book and some silly ole stuffed animal. You know he kinda looks like the guy on the front of the book. Hmm, whatta ya know about that?”

“Let me see! Let me see! I know who that is. He is a Snitch. The lady at story time at the library read that story to us. It was so good.” We couldn’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm.

We messed around for a few more minutes, telling her about the trip and all the things we saw and what we did. Of course, Justin had to read the book to her a few times before she was finally ready to let him go. I picked her up and thought to myself that she was getting so big. It wouldn’t be long at all before I couldn’t just pick her up like this. Justin left, but before he did, he hugged Emma and gave me a quick kiss. Then we headed back to the living room.

I noticed Emma was looking at me, and I could see about a hundred questions floating around in her head. “Jay Jay kissed you,” she stated.

“Yes, he did.” I figured the simpler I could keep it the better. No point in answering questions she wasn’t asking.

“Why?”

I chuckled. She was so my daughter. “Because he loves me and sometimes you kiss people when you love them.”

“Like Bampás loves Mommy?”

“Yes. Just like that.”

“Sometimes Mommy kisses Bampás too.”

“Yep, she does. I have seen her do it,” I said seriously.

“Do you kiss Jay Jay sometimes?”

“I do.” I agreed.

“Do you love him too?”

“Yep, a whole, whole bunch, almost as much as I love you.”

She took a minute to think through all this new information. Then she got a look on her face like she had made up her mind about something. Sometimes, she was so much like her mother it was scary. I had seen that look on Suzie’s face a hundred times.

“Okay, so that means we get to keep Jay Jay, and he’ll come here to live.” She nodded her head affirmatively like she had just made a royal proclamation. Yep, Justin was right to call her princess.

“Maybe someday, sweet pea, but not right away. That just isn’t the way things work.”

“Well, why not? Bampás lives with Mama, so Jay Jay should live with you and then we will all be a family together.”

That’s the plan, baby girl. That’s the plan, I thought.

As soon as I got her to bed, I called Nathan to see if he and Linc were busy. I needed to tell him about the weekend as soon as possible, or I would never hear the end of it. Linc was out with who knows who doing God knows what, but Nathan said he was headed over.

Nathan didn’t ring the bell; he just let himself in since he knew Emma was sleeping. “Hey there, hon. I’m here to hear all about your weekend away. I brought ice cream in case we were crying and wine in case we are celebrating. Oh, who am I kidding, sweetie, I brought the wine to drink either way. So, which is it? Are we laughing or crying? Let Mama get a look at you.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“Okay, so that sounds like laughing to me,” Nathan said, getting serious. “Tell me all about it for real and let’s put this ice cream in the freezer.”

“I love him, Nathan. I really love him.”

“Well, no shit, Mark. I could have told you that months ago, but did you tell him that?”

“I did.”

“Okay, out with it, sugar. What did he say?”

“He said that he loves me too. This is really happening, Nathan.”

“Tell me everything.”

I told him about the weekend and our planned trip to go see Justin’s family and then I ended with, “I’m going to ask him to marry me.”

Nathan looked at me wide-eyed. “Seriously? Doesn’t that seem a bit rushed?”

I smiled. “No, it doesn’t. This has been coming for months. It just took us a while to figure it out. I just need to find the right rings. I kinda know what I want. I thought about this all the way back from San Antonio. I want something that says that we are all becoming a family. I am thinking a Celtic symbol with Emma’s birthstone as an accent. I just don’t know where I could find one like that.”

“Oh, Oh, Oh, I know,” Nathan squealed. “When I went to that stroke conference in Alabama last year, I found the coolest shop. They sell rings made by this guy named James Eldridge. I loved them so much because they were so original. They are just what I’d want because you know, someday my prince shall also come. But anyway, I follow him on Instagram. I bet if you either told him what you want or found an inspiration picture he could make them for you.”

We spent the next few minutes or so going through the Circles of Love Instagram page. Nathan was right; the rings were amazing. He had an inventory of ready-made rings, but I had an idea what I wanted, so I was thinking I was going to have to go the custom route. I was worried about the timeline on those because now that I had made up my mind to do this, I just wanted to hurry up and make it happen. Nathan was flipping through the pictures when, suddenly, I saw it.

“Stop. Go back one. Look at that it is exactly what I was thinking.” It was a beautiful ring made of white gold with Celtic heart knots and sapphire stones. I was sure I could find something similar elsewhere, but there was something special about this one. It managed to be beautiful but masculine at the same time.

“These are the ones.”

“His stuff isn’t cheap, you know. Are you sure you’re ready to do this? Or better yet, are you sure Justin is ready to do this?”

“Seriously, Nathan? Way to be supportive dude. Some friend you are.”

“Hey. I didn’t mean that quite the way it sounded. I’m just having a hard time wrapping my brain around the idea of Justin in a relationship at all much less married. I didn’t mean to sound like I doubted what you’re doing here. I’m just, I mean wow. I never thought I’d see the day, but if he is going to get married, I can’t think of anyone better for him than you. But come on, you have to admit this is a bit of a shock. A couple of days ago you were both swearing what you had wasn’t serious, and now we are sitting here looking at wedding rings. That is a pretty big change.”

“Okay, you are right. I’m sure if you weren’t there with us, it would seem strange. Did I tell you he traded in his Z4?”

“He did what!” Nathan exclaimed. “He loved that car. I mean to an unhealthy level even.”

“I said the same thing!” I laughed. “I said, ‘but you love that car,’ and you know what he told me? He said he did, but he loved me more.” I watched Nathan for a reaction, and it was priceless. He had his hand over his mouth, and he looked like he had just seen the sappiest scene ever in the sappiest rom-com on the planet. “Guess what he bought to replace it?”

“What did he buy?” he asked, his anticipation obvious.

“A crew cab pickup so he’d have room for Emma’s car seat and so we could carry our bikes and kayaks.”

“Shut up!” he exclaimed. “Oh my God, you are totally getting married. Wait. You don’t own kayaks.”

I laughed. “You goof, we’ll buy the kayaks. But you really think he will say yes?”

“Sweetie, if that man traded in his car so he could buy something that better fit with your life, he will totally say yes. Are you going to buy the rings?”

“I’m going to buy the rings.”