CHAPTER TWENTY
Beau
Beau says my smile is contagious. I think his is too. ~ Love, Kenny
So…on a scale of 1-10, I’m guessing I’m at least a 20 when it comes to gay dry-humping, right?
I chuckled, rolling my eyes at Ash’s text, then looked over my shoulder to make sure none of the guys were lurking around. The last thing I needed was someone finding out I’d fucked around with Ashton—and not because of me, either, but because of him. He’d trusted me…wanted me…was still trying to figure himself out, and I didn’t want to hinder him in any way.
I still couldn’t believe it happened. Ashton Carmichael was gay. Not bisexual, not some kid who randomly kissed me when he was drunk. He was a gay man, and he’d been in denial, buried deep in the closet his whole life. I hated that he’d had to live that way, that I hadn’t seen it or been able to help him. Would things have been different for him if I’d known? If I could have been there for him?
You’re so cocky, I replied.
Ash: Could feel that through my jeans, huh? It’s tough being so big.
Me: You’re big? I didn’t notice…
Ash: Oh, fuck you, Campbell.
Me: Any regrets?
After our mutual orgasm yesterday morning, we’d cleaned up separately. I’d borrowed a pair of shorts, and then I’d been on my way. I’d made up some excuse about shit I had to do, and he’d basically pushed me out of the house, likely having to work through things himself, but I wanted to make sure he was doing okay. Ash would never bring it up himself. He’d joke his way through life if he could.
Ash: Just that I didn’t take my pants off so you could see my monster cock.
Me: That I fixed, apparently.
Ash: Who’s cocky now?
Me: It’s tough being so big. ;)
When he didn’t reply right away, I added, Seriously, Ash. Not trying to coddle you. Trying to be a friend.
Ash: I know. I’m good. It’s you. That helps. Wanna have dinner tonight?
I closed my eyes, leaned my head back against the couch. The fact that it was me helped him. It was strange to think of that, to acknowledge that I could help Ash with anything, that Ash needed someone. He’d always been so confident, larger than life, but that had obviously been a front.
Me: I have to coach Kenny’s practice…you wanna go? Then the three of us can have dinner afterward?
Ash: Wow…you must really like me, Campbell.
Me: Who is this? I think I have the wrong number.
Ash: :/
“Pretty sure your face is about to split open, you’re smiling so big. You must have either had a good time with someone, or you really want to.” I fumbled my phone, hiding the screen as Jace plopped down beside me on one of the fire-station couches. “That good?”
“Sex isn’t the only reason to smile.”
“It is for the way you just smiled.”
Did I still need to continue thinking, fucking Ash? He didn’t even have to be there to shake my life up. I opened my mouth to reply just as the alarm went off. Jace and I shoved to our feet, everything else forgotten as the team rushed to get our gear, which hung on hooks on the wall, before running to the engine.
My heart slammed against my chest, adrenaline surging through my body the way it always did when I went out on a call. The sound of the sirens echoed through my head, a familiar song I knew by heart.
Smoke billowed in front of us as Langston pulled up at the house, and we jumped out.
“Please!” a woman shouted. “Please save our home!” Flames licked up the side of the house.
“Is there anyone inside?”
She shook her head. “No one. Not even animals.”
It was exactly what I needed to hear. I reacted. I’d done this so many times that there wasn’t any thought. Ladders were pulled, hoses hooked up. Everyone had a job, and we did it, all with the same goal—to put the fire out as soon as possible.
It was later as I stood under the shower at the station, coming down from the rush of a fire, that I thought about Ash and the fact that I’d left him hanging earlier. I was mentally and physically exhausted, my bones and muscles feeling too heavy as I turned the water off. I wrapped a towel around my waist and went into the locker room to grab my phone.
Sorry about that. We had a call.
My phone rang a second later, Ash’s name on the screen. “Hey.”
“You fought a fucking fire today?” he asked.
“Um…yeah. That’s what I do.”
“That’s strangely hot and uncomfortably scary at the same time. I mean, I knew about your career, but I didn’t think about it until now… You fight fires, Campbell. When people run out, you run in. That’s some crazy shit.”
My pulse thumped wildly against my skin. I didn’t know what it was about that statement that made the reality of Ash and me—if there was an Ash and me…and did I want there to be an Ash and me?—slam home. One night…all it took was one night for me to stumble into something with him. Something that would likely end with Ash walking away again. “It’s fine, Carmichael. I know what I’m doing. So, do you want me to pick you up for practice, or what?”
“That felt awfully close to a diversion.”
“You’re imagining things.”
“You’re speaking to the king of subject change here, but I’ll let it go. Yes, you can pick me up. It sounds like you’re taking me on a date.”
“Pfft, you wish,” I teased. “I’ll be there in an hour. Then we have to go get Kenny.”
“An hour? How am I supposed to get ready that fast? Give a guy some time.”
“And you’re just admitting you’re gay?” I said playfully.
“And that sounded suspiciously like a stereotype. I’m ashamed of you.”
“You’re the one who said gay dry-humping earlier. We don’t put gay in front of everything, you know.”
“Hey! I’m new at this!”
And he was taking it surprisingly well. At least on the surface. “I’m giving you shit. I’ll see you in fifty-five minutes.”
I went to my locker, put on a pair of boxer trunks and deodorant. After I put on my pants, T-shirt, socks, shoes, and another cap I’d gotten from the station, since Ash stole my other one, I was on my way out of the station and heading for my truck.
I made a quick stop at my house for some equipment I’d forgotten, then headed out to Ash’s place. I’d hardly pulled into the driveway before he was coming outside, wearing a pair of shorts and a tee.
I could see the muscles in his calves when he jogged, remembered the feel of his weight on top of me and the taste of him on my tongue. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I wanted more of him. He was too damn tempting for me not to.
“Hey,” Ash said as he climbed in.
“Hey.”
“I didn’t have time to do my hair, so I need this.” He again plucked my cap off my head and put it on.
“I know you have hats of your own, and if you don’t, you sure as shit have the money to buy one. Plus, you happen to have my old one. Do you like driving me crazy?”
“First of all, that one’s dirty. And second, of course I like driving you crazy. Do you know us? I’ve spent my life driving you crazy, which is why I’ll pretend I don’t have a hat and take yours, and you’ll pretend you don’t love the fact that I give you shit all the time.”
Fucking Ashton Carmichael. I needed to get those words tattooed on me.
I ran a hand through my hair, then drove away. We were running a few minutes late, so I called Kenny to have him wait outside for me to swing by and pick him up.
Kenny grinned when he saw Ash in the passenger seat.
“You’re coming!” Kenny said when he got inside.
“Yep. I begged and pleaded. What’s up, K?” Ash turned around in the seat and held up his hand for a high five. Kenny immediately gave him one. “Ooh. We should come up with our own secret handshake. We’ll do that after practice.”
“Okay!” Kenny replied. He smiled, and I realized I was smiling too. That I was like all those people I used to roll my eyes at who got blinded by Ash’s bright light. He was addicting, enthralling, a force of nature even I couldn’t seem to deny.
“What are you smiling at, Campbell?”
“I’m not smiling, and you don’t always have to call me by my name, you know? I know who you’re talking to.”
“I like calling you by your name. I could always use Cranky Campbell if you prefer.”
“I can always make you walk if you prefer.”
“Fine, you win this time, but don’t think I won’t get my revenge.”
“ABC,” Kenny said from the back seat.
“Huh?” I caught eyes with him in the rearview mirror.
“Ashton, Beau, Carmichael, and Campbell. You’re ABC.”
“Well, shit. If that isn’t cute as hell, I don’t know what is,” Ash replied. “See? We were meant to be best friends.”
“I thought Linc was your best friend?” Kenny asked.
I glanced over at Ash, who looked away. He almost seemed…hurt, but I knew that couldn’t really be the case. “I guess I have two best friends,” I replied. A week ago, hell, two days ago, I wouldn’t have said that about Ash, but really, it was true. We had history I didn’t have with anyone else.
“Oh, then I have two as well—Beau and Ash.”
“Good taste.” Ash winked at him, then nudged me. “You have good taste too, Campbell.”
Yeah…yeah, I thought I did.