CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Beau
Beau thinks Ash is awesome. I think he’s awesome too. ~ Love, Kenny
“Oh, hey. I’m not sure if you remember me. I’m Lincoln.”
I rolled my eyes at my best friend, who sat in a booth at Blazes, a diner across the street from the firehouse. I’d finished my jog with Ash, who’d headed home afterward, and since I’d still had a little bit of time before I had to get to the station, I’d called Linc to have breakfast. We gave each other shit, but I missed him. Linc was typically the one I spent most of my time with. Now I was always with Ash, and I didn’t know how to be with Lincoln and Ash at the same time. Not when no one could know what we were to each other…not when I still didn’t know what we were to each other besides friends who fucked around.
“Lincoln who?” I asked with a smile before sitting across from him. My eyes darted toward the second cup of coffee beside him.
“Rush is in the bathroom. I was with him.”
“Oh fuck. Not again.”
“We were lonely. Not everyone is like you.”
Rush and Lincoln had a habit of fucking like rabbits when they were feeling lonesome, and well, horny, only they weren’t in the mood for Grindr. Technically, I wouldn’t give a shit because I didn’t make a habit of sticking my nose where it didn’t belong, but I had a feeling Rush cared about Linc in ways Linc didn’t care about him. Rush would never admit it, and Linc didn’t see it, but there was no denying the way Rush looked at him. “I don’t want him to get hurt, is all. And it would fuck up the group.”
“Oh, you mean the group you never hang out with anymore. And what about me? I have feelings too.”
I opened my mouth to call Lincoln on the fact that Rush truly was just a good friend with a dick to him, but that I wasn’t sure Rush felt the same. Unfortunately, he came out of the hallway and nodded at me. “You have a hickey on your neck.”
My hand shot toward my throat. Holy fuck. Ash had given me a hickey and I hadn’t noticed?
“Oh shit. How did I miss a hickey?” Lincoln leaned forward, trying to see.
“You didn’t, but I know you were wondering if Beau was hooking up with someone we didn’t know about. Now you have your answer. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have looked like he was about to vomit.” Rush winked at me, the bastard.
“Grindr trick,” I replied.
“Nice try. You hate Grindr,” Rush added.
My eyes shot to Linc. Why in the hell would he have mentioned the fact that he thought I was hooking up when he knew that if I was, it was with Ash, and he was in the closet? I hadn’t spelled it out for him, of course, but Linc had to know. “So did you two have fun last night?” I asked, cocking a brow at them.
“Yeah,” Rush replied with a shrug.
Lincoln bit his bottom lip, looked at me, and I could see the apology there, that it had been an accident. And he was also likely feeling guilty for fucking Rush again.
“I thought you went home with that guy you met at the club a while back.” Lincoln was trying to cover for me, but the truth was, Rush likely didn’t give a shit if I was fucking anyone. It wasn’t his style. He’d only said something for Linc, which was the shit that made me feel like he had feelings for him.
“Coffee?” the waitress asked, effectively putting an end to a conversation I was pretty sure both Lincoln and I wanted to be over.
“Yes, please,” I replied.
We ordered after that and then chatted about everything other than fucking because we all had shit we wanted to keep to ourselves at the moment. Rush had his arm around the back of the booth, around Lincoln, and I could see the guilt swimming in Linc’s eyes because of it. We needed to make time to talk—or I guessed I did. Linc obviously had some shit going on that I’d been too busy to notice, and despite his outgoing personality and his large group of friends, he didn’t typically talk when he felt like that, except to me.
When breakfast was over, the three of us said goodbye outside. Rush left first, ruffling Lincoln’s hair in a weird way I didn’t quite understand. The moment he walked around the corner and out of view, Linc said, “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t say much. We went out without you last night, and I might have drunk a little too much, complained you would rather fuck someone than hang out with us, and then took Rush home with me.”
“Jesus, Linc.” I ran a hand through my hair, wishing I had my damn cap. It was apparently lost to Ash for good now.
“He doesn’t know it’s…you know who.”
“You don’t even know who it is. I never confirmed anything.” Plus, after our conversation about me always being with Ash, I was pretty sure Rush knew. Not that he would ever say anything. I trusted Rush.
“This is what happens when I’m needy! You should know me by now!”
I shook my head, then pulled him into a hug. “Don’t make me admit it.”
“I might need you to admit it,” he replied, looking up at me and fluttering his lashes. Linc and I had a strange relationship. We were nothing alike, but we needed each other, we understood each other. I wasn’t sure he let anyone else really get him. In some ways, he was like Ash. They both had that strong exterior, both hid behind their sarcasm so no one dug deeper. I apparently was a digger and hadn’t realized it.
“I love you. You’re my best friend. I just…” How in the fuck did I finish this sentence? I just what? Wanted to be with Ash every moment I could? That sounded needy as hell and not like me.
“You’re mesmerized by his magic dick?” Linc teased.
“I don’t know who you’re talking about, and I haven’t fucked him.”
Linc pulled back, mischief sparking in his eyes. “Oh, Beau, I’m disappointed in you. Do you need some pointers?”
“Fuck off.”
“I love you too.”
“I know you do.” I kissed his forehead. “I need to get to work.”
I waited until Lincoln walked away, and then I jogged across the street to the station, my conversation with him still fresh in my mind. There was something going on between Ash and me. That much was obvious because…fuck, even then I missed him, wanted to spend time with him. I’d never had that with anyone, this desire to be in their presence the way I did with him.
I liked having him in our kitchen, with my family. I loved the bond he formed with my brother. And I was also beginning to feel like his house was mine; I wanted to be there all the time, because it both reminded me of when we were kids and still felt fresh and new—like us. It was unnerving and exciting and sort of felt like someone else was trapped in my body. What had Ash done to me?
We got a few calls throughout the day. An older woman had fallen and broken her wrist, and we got there before the EMTs and made sure the situation was stable. Then there was a false alarm on a house fire. Nothing too exciting.
It was an hour before the end of my shift. Ash and I were texting about the game that night, and Jace was sitting on the same couch as me, talking to whatever girl he was with at the time, when we got a call for a warehouse fire on Old Mills Road. The area was abandoned, and apparently the flames were spreading quickly.
My adrenaline started pumping, transporting me to another world, that place I went when I was heading into the flames.
We were dressed and in the engine in no time flat, the sirens loud, fueling the spike of courage and determination we needed to do what we did.
As always in a situation like this, Mom was there, in my head…joined by Kenny…Lincoln…and now Ash. All the people I had to make it home to.
I shook those thoughts. They were okay. We would be okay. This was what we did.
Flames danced in the distance, a large billow of smoke, and I felt the familiar stab of guilt that I was letting Kenny down tonight. I wouldn’t be able to coach…but Ash could. I didn’t like depending on anyone else, even other assistant coaches, but this was…this was Ashton Carmichael.
Fire. Won’t be at the game. Can you let Mom and Kenny know, Coach? You got this.
The reply was almost instantaneous. Be careful. I kind of like you. Get yourself home safe. I’ll take care of everything else.
In that moment, I knew I was one hundred percent gone for Ashton Carmichael.