Chapter 10
Eli hasn’t slept in over thirty hours. It’s not the amount of work that needs to be done on the house, or the fact that Michelle has her vehicle packed and is urging him to come along. His mind has been focused on Clarke. He never got to ask her if she was happy. They didn’t get to have a proper goodbye in the past, or when she visited. Eli knows he’s not going to feel better until he can at least apologize, and in order to do so he’ll need to stick around town until he can gather up the courage to face her again.
Michelle sits across from him at the kitchen table. He’s playing with a tape measure, while staring at the drawing of a reconfigured kitchen. He stayed up all night visualizing all the things he’d like to do to the old house, and what will happen when he finishes.
At first he considered renting it out. He’d make a profit and eventually be able to retire from the investment. Then he contemplated selling outright. What Eli knows best is flipping. It’s what he does for a living, so why not put his own skill to work? He can skip the subcontractors and do all the labor himself, keeping costs down. When it’s all said and done the improvements will increase the market value of the home by twenty percent. It’s enough to make him want to take on the task, even if it costs him Michelle.
It’s something Eli needs to do. He needs to separate himself from everything and take the time to decided what he’s doing, where he’s headed, and how he’s going to get there.
“You’re not coming with us are you?”
He smirks and taps his thumb against the draft paper. “I think I want to stick around and get this house in better shape before I decided what to do with it.”
“How long will it take?”
“Six weeks maybe. Seven tops. As long as the weather stays nice I’ll finish well before that. There’s nothing tough. Dad had the plumbing redone after my mom died. There’s new electric in half of the house already. Everything else is cosmetic. I’m going to gut out the existing kitchen and bathrooms and put a new coat of paint everywhere.”
Michelle leans back and crosses her arms. “I feel like this is goodbye.”
“It’s not,” he assures her. “It’s just another flip.”
“Says the guy full of secrets.”
Eli takes in Michelle’s features. She takes good care of herself and looks younger than her actual age. Nearing thirty, she’s a spitfire in the sack, and one hell of a cook. Eli wonders if she’ll ever be enough for him. He’s curious to know if he’ll miss her when she leaves, or if he’ll carry on without concern. It’s these reasons that make him question his commitment to the woman. “It’s your negativity that pisses me off, you know. I’m trying to do something good here.”
“I can see that. Just tell me one thing. Why did you leave? Siobhan wouldn’t answer. She mentioned a bad breakup. Is that it? Was it the woman who came here to see you?”
Eli puts his fists down on the table with a firm bang. Michelle jumps in her seat before meeting his annoyed gaze. “I told you already, it’s not important.”
“It is to me. You forget what I’ve been through with my ex. I can’t sit around wondering if you’re ever going to come back. Home is home. It’s as simple as that. I always thought yours was in Louisiana, but now I find out you were born and raised here in Georgia by people who loved you. You have a little brother you hardly know. You’ve now inherited property from a father you obvious care very deeply for. It would only make sense for you to question whether you’re better off coming home.”
She’s absolutely right and Eli knows it. If only he could tell her the real reason he left and how Siobhan is the devil in a red dress.
Sighing heavily, Eli knows it’s time to do the right thing. “Siobhan isn’t a good person, Michelle. She did things that would make you sick to your stomach. When I found out about them I wanted to tell my father. He deserved to know. She blackmailed me. She told me she’d sabotage my relationship if I stuck around and ran my mouth. Plus she knew I didn’t want to hurt my dad. I left because I couldn’t look him in the eye and lie day after day. It would have eaten me alive.”
“So you stayed away all this time because of Siobhan?”
“Basically.”
“And the woman that came to visit, does she know?”
Eli shakes his head. “No. I left everything. One morning I got up, packed a bag and never returned. I never gave anyone a reason. They just assumed I’d walked out on them, and honestly it was better than learning the truth anyway. I left because I loved them. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true.”
Her eyes are beginning to water, and he can tell she’s about to cry when she bites down on her bottom lip. “So you left things unresolved?”
Eli shrugs, accepting that his mistake will probably cost him this relationship too. “Yeah.”
“Did that woman come here to talk about it?”
“No.” It’s one thing he’s pretty certain of. “She came to tell me she was sorry about my dad. You don’t have to worry about Clarke. She’s married, or getting married. I noticed the ring she was wearing. Trust me, that woman wants nothing to do with me.”
This puts her mind at ease. Eli watches her exhale and finally manage a smile. “I’m sorry for all the questions. I’m usually not the jealous type, but after my ex…”
“No need to apologize, Michelle. This isn’t about us. I feel like I need to do this one last thing for my father to make up for stepping out on him. Does that make sense?”
She nods. “It does. For what it’s worth, I’m so sorry for what you went through back then, and for being all chatty with Siobhan. If I’d have known she was a horrible person I wouldn’t have done that. I was only trying to be polite.”
“Yeah, I know. You’re a good person. Unfortunately, she’s the opposite. It’s a real shame too. That boy deserves better.”
“We don’t pick our parents.” As soon as the sentence rolls off her lips Eli grins. She’s right. It’s not the boy’s fault his mother is an idiot. He didn’t ask for this life.
“No. We don’t.”
“One day you’re going to be an amazing father. You’re great with kids. Maybe when you get back we can talk about that happening.”
For the first time in a few days Eli smiles. It’s a real smile, not one fabricated to pretend all is right with the world. He doesn’t know if he wants a long-term deal with Michelle, but the idea of being a real father gives him a glimmer of hope that not all love can hurt him. A child would give him that unconditional relationship he’s prevented himself from having for far too long.
Michelle and her son leave after lunch. For a little while Eli works on a small bathroom, ripping out cabinets and starting to pull up the old tile flooring. When the room gets too hot, he pauses for a short break before attempting to remove the large tub.
He sits on the newly framed back porch and sips on a glass of tea, staring out at the old yard he used to play in. A tire swing still hangs from a low branch of a willow tree in the back far corner of the property. For a moment Eli wonders if Jonathan used it, or if his mother told him it was too dirty to touch.
His mind continues to be restless until he decides to take a drive out to the old pond he used to fish in with his dad. Eli baits an old rod and casts it out into the dark water. The last time he fished this exact spot he caught a two foot long catfish, gutted it, and cooked it up for supper. The best part was the fact that neither his father or Eli really cared much for that type of fish. They did it to bond.
Flashes of other fun times flood his mind as he sits back and drinks a cold brew. Before he knows it he’s thinking about another time he visited this pond. He’d been fighting with Clarke over something stupid. Instead of driving her home where she’d ignore his calls, he sped up and parked where no one could interrupt them.
She used to be so cute when she was mad. She’d huff and puff and then finally allow him to coax his way back to her good side. It never failed. Little tiffs turned into the best makeup sex. That particular night she’d gotten out of the car and tried to run away from him. He recalls catching up to her and carrying her back to the vehicle while she kicked and screamed. They yelled for a time, and then he kissed her. She slapped him, so he did it again. After a while they were in a full blown make out session, forgetting what the whole fight was even over.
That’s how easy it used to be with Clarke.
Reminders of their love are all over this small town. It’s funny. Eli spent years trying to rid himself of the guilt and agony, and now he’s right back to being miserable again. It’s like he’s glutton for punishment.
When he returns to the house he’s surprised to see Siobhan’s car sitting in the driveway. Feeling as if his hard work to settle down was for nothing, Eli parks his truck and takes his time entering the home. Nothing she could say or want will lighten his shitty mood now.
Jonathan meets him at the screen door. He’s holding a hammer and Eli’s big tape measure. It’s so large the kid is having trouble gripping onto it with one hand. “Eli, I came to help you.”
He crouches down without opening the door between them. Figuring his mother is somewhere in the background, Eli speaks louder than usual. “Is that so? Where’s your mother?”
The clanking of her heals causes him to stand up. He backs away from the door to allow her room to exit. As usual, she’s dressed to impress, not that he gives a damn what she has on. To Eli, she’s the ugliest woman he’s ever known. Everything she touches is cursed. “I’m headed to a fundraiser at his school. Your dad was going to keep him for me.”
“And you think I’ll fill in? I’m not a babysitter, and if you haven’t noticed this place ain’t safe for a kid right now.”
“Get over yourself, Elias. Jonathan knows not to meddle in your messes.” Siobhan rolls her eyes then turns to look out in the yard. “Your father would want you to know your brother.” She tells the child to go play in the yard so she can finish talking without his little ears hearing. “The kid needs a father figure.”
“So marry someone.”
“I have high standards. You of all people should know that.”
“Maybe it’s not your standards at all. It’s possible the men you pick can see right through the fakeness.” Eli feels enraged. Every time he looks at the child he sees his life ruining again and again. It’s like a record on repeat. No matter how much he tries to let the past go, it haunts his every waking thought where Jonathan is concerned.
She whispers while gritting her teeth, speaking closely to avoid being heard. “Need I remind you that he’s your only family left? He’s a little boy. You can’t tell me you don’t feel something when you look at him. Like it or not, he was your father’s son too. He’s having a hard time. Getting to know his big brother might ease his pain.”
She’s completely ignoring the fact that Eli doesn’t want to do this. “I packed him a bag of his favorite things. Snacks and juice boxes, as well as his pajamas. I’m not sure what I left here the last time he stayed with your dad. He needs to be in a booster seat if you go anywhere. There’s a spare in the garage. Don’t let him drink past eight. He’ll pee the bed. My number is programmed into the house phone if there’s an emergency.”
Eli opens his mouth to give her a piece of his mind and order her to leave, but Siobhan is already making sure it’s not going to happen. “Jonathan, come here sweetie. You’re going to have so much fun with your brother tonight. He’s so excited. Give Mommy a kiss so I can go.”
Eli watches the boy wrap his arms around his crouched mother, before kissing her on the lips. He doesn’t want to imagine where those lips have been when she’s not pretending to be the world’s greatest mom.
Siobhan flashes him a wickedly pleased grin, as if to say she knew she had him by the balls the whole time. Then she stands and heads to her car, leaving someone that hates her to care for her son. It’s unbelievably bold and low. So very low.