Present
SHE’D BE BACK. SHE HAD to be. She was coming back, right?
I stared out the window and watched Eden’s rental car skid off the gravel driveway and onto the road, headed west. She never said where she was going or if she’d return, but she had to. Don’t leave me again, Eden. Please.
I lit a cigarette and paced the fraying carpet as anxiety fucked with my head. Much like everything else in my life, my plan had backfired. Not that it was much of a plan to begin with. Therein lay the problem; I had no idea what I was doing. I only knew I needed Eden’s help to get it done.
At first, my sole focus was on fixing Lennox. Rehab, counseling, a straightjacket, anything. As I tried to express to Eden, he was in the darkest, lowest place I’d ever seen him. Worse than after the accident. It wasn’t only that he was depressed and miserable; he was nonexistent. Most days he was so high he may as well have been dead. A vegetable. He’d become a waste of human life. Seeing him that way used to kill me, but I was used to it now; so numb it barely made me feel anything at all.
It was clear from her reaction, though, that Eden didn’t take his transformation so well. It was obvious that shock and devastation overwhelmed her when she first laid eyes on him today after all these years. It was hard to witness. It was my fault. I’d done it again. I’d done so much to push her away, and seeing her that way made me hate myself even more. If I could turn back time . . .
My imagination got the best of me as I finished my cigarette, picturing where the three of us would be had none of this happened. I momentarily pushed Lennox out of my mind and only visualized Eden and me in this what if scenario.
We’d live in New York where she worked. The bright lights and massive buildings would tower over the memories of my past, representing the rise of a new Violet. Maybe I would’ve made the time to go to school and found a passion worth devoting my time to. Or maybe some eclectic New York artist would discover me while I was working in a coffee shop and make me his muse. Somehow, it didn’t matter if I was picking up garbage or directing the next Broadway smash hit. I’d have my sister by my side, and that meant more than any other trivial thing. We’d be happy away from William, enjoying everything our new life had to offer. Friends, experiences, maybe even a chance at real love.
I smiled to myself, letting the made-up fantasy warm me from the inside out. Closing my eyes, I let the daydream unfold before me, only to be startled back to reality by the slamming of the front door.
“Eden?” I hoped, snuffing out the cigarette in an ashtray. But when I turned around, staring back at me was the last person I wanted to see. “What are you doing home?”
“Home is the operative word, darlin’. As in, this is my home and don’t you ever forget it.” William poked a dirty finger in my face, causing me to turn my nose up in disgust. The dream was over.
I backed away and ignored his irritability—I was used to that, too—but before I could escape his presence, a grimy hand was pulling my arm. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Work,” I lied, looking down at his tight grip on my bicep as if it was normal for my father to lay his hands on me, to leave a mark.
“The hell you are. I heard that sister of yours is back in town. We’re gonna sit right here and wait for her to walk through that door.”
I felt my eyes go wide and my body tense. I didn’t want to give anything away, though, so I swallowed my fear and lied some more. “She’s already gone. Came and left. There’s nothing for her here.” I found myself coming to her defense, protecting her from dealing with William. It was the least I could do. Hopefully, he’d believe me and go back to wherever he was before he walked in here emitting his stench of booze and wickedness.
But he didn’t buy it. “I might be a drunk but I ain’t dumb, girl. I know she’s here. I saw your boy down at the bar, bumbling like a fool about the love of his life.” He air quoted the phrase and mimed a giddy girl, swaying his hips. Then he laughed, his face inches from mine. “I knew he wasn’t talking about you! So, where is she?” He looked around the house as if Eden would appear from behind some hidden corner, yell “Surprise!” and offer her father a welcoming hug.
It was my turn to laugh, to patronize. His remark about me not meaning anything to Lennox stung, but it had no staying power. I wasn’t a fool. He was the asshole for thinking he could get to me and convince me to hand Eden over to him on a silver platter. Fat chance, buddy. Covering for her was the least I could do to make up for my sins.
A sly grin painted my lips that were so accustomed to frowning, and I let a chuckle escape. It was almost maniacal because nothing about the way I felt was funny. “I told you. She’s not here. She got out of here because she didn’t want to see your sorry ass. She hates you. Just like I do, so why don’t you leave us all the fuck alone already?” I didn’t know what came over me. I never spoke to my father that way. He took me and Lennox in when no one else would. Sure, there was a price to pay, but I was willing to overlook that as part of my penance. But today, it was as if a beast had been let loose from a cage. I couldn’t hold it in anymore—the anger, the hurt, the humiliation, the guilt. It boiled inside of me like a bubbling brew of hate, and the person deserving of the most potent taste stood right before me.
“You stupid bitch!” Rage blistered in his bloodshot eyes, ugly and chilling. I’d seen it many times before and knew what to expect, but I was so numb I didn’t even flinch. Not when he pushed me to the floor with dizzying force. Not when he bent over to wail on my face with a slap so hard my ears rang in pain. Not when he took to kicking me in the ribs like I was a worthless piece of roadkill instead of his own flesh and blood.
I didn’t utter a word. I didn’t beg him to stop. I didn’t even cry. I took it submissively, like a woman deserving of punishment, because that’s what I was. Just when I thought I would concede and let the tears fall, William ceased his assault at the sound of someone screaming, “Stop!”
With his greasy hair splayed over his face and sweat from his exertion beading his wrinkled skin, he turned to the mysterious voice and stood stunned-still when he realized it was Eden.
I had the same dumbfounded reaction, though not for the same reason, of course. I’d seen her only a few hours ago, but the sight of her standing there, offering me salvation, made me cry harder than I had from the terrible pain of William’s attack.
Our father stood tall—as tall as a man could who’d just been caught beating on his own daughter—and puffed out his chest. His reaction made me sick to my stomach, or maybe that was the splintering sting of my sore ribs. Either way, witnessing his smug response to Eden’s appearance made me wish I had a gun to put an end to this once and for all.
“Back from the dead.” He stared her down without bestowing so much as a kind expression on his long-lost child.
Eden’s chest heaved, her hands balled in fists at her sides. Her eyes looked glassy with unshed tears, and her lips were sealed tightly shut with nothing to say. She didn’t have to, though. Words weren’t necessary. It was clear from the abhorrence on her face that William would be sorry Eden had ever come back home.
Present
I’D WALTZ RIGHT IN THERE, collect my shit, and be on my merry way. I’d think about giving Violet an explanation, or, you know what, maybe I wouldn’t.
I wasn’t sure. I would decide in the moment. Spontaneous. That was the new me. The new selfish me. If it suited me, she’d get a goodbye. If it didn’t, oh well, good riddance. It was long overdue anyway.
Pulling up to the house, my heart pounded, inciting me in a way I didn’t expect. When I put the car in park, I noticed an unfamiliar car in the spot where the old truck had been before Lennox disappeared. Sourness swirled in my belly at the thought it could be William. I had no desire to see him, especially now that I was leaving, but I needed the bag I left behind. It held my return flight information, my wallet, and everything necessary to get the fuck out of here and move on.
Storming up the steps while alternating between deep breaths and soft exhales, I gripped the handle of the screen door and heard a loud thump followed by rustling and grunting. What’s going on now? I could walk away, but my gut told me something wasn’t right.
Swinging the door open, I entered the house and couldn’t believe my eyes. “Stop!” It was automatic instinct. Seeing anyone beaten so brutally, let alone a woman by a man, my sister by my father, brought upon a feeling so powerless my limbs felt numb, my skin turned clammy, my mind spun into overdrive.
William startled at my demand, his foot jerking back from Violet’s rolled up body. When his eyes met mine, it was as if I’d taken a step back in time, transporting me to my childhood. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run. I wanted to kill him. But I was motionless. A meek little girl, defenseless against the fear of her father. It was pathetic. I was a grown, established, independent woman. Just moments ago, I was writing this place off—Violet, Lennox, and William included. Yet, the mere sight of him, so vicious and brutal, erased all my strength and replaced it with vulnerability.
“Back from the dead,” he sneered at last, eyeing me with expressionless eyes.
“No! Back for her,” I replied without thinking, surprising myself with the declaration and my bravery.
William smirked, flicking his demonic gaze to an injured Violet on the floor.
Violet’s eyes sparked to life, becoming large and round with my unexpected response.
Time stood still, the air thick, noise nonexistent. I brushed past a speechless William, for once unafraid of the consequences, and held a hand out to Violet.
“Can you stand?” I asked, analyzing her body and focusing on the reddening bruise on her cheek.
She nodded but winced as she tried to sit. I felt her pain the same way I used to when we were children. I felt for her the same way I did when we were kids.
I extended my hand once again, and this time she grasped it. It had been so long since we had any physical exchange. It was strange at first, something I wasn’t sure I even liked, but with William scrutinizing us, I put all that aside and did what I knew how to do best.
I abandoned my previous vow of selfishness and put Violet’s needs first.