Past
WHAT SHOULD’VE BEEN A BLISSFUL homecoming for Lennox and me was cut short by my unease with the Violet scene back at the restaurant. I thought seeing him for the first time in months would trump all other emotions, no matter how erratic, but even after we made the sweetest love, caught up on what was happening in our daily lives, and cuddled in the safety of each other’s arms the way we used to each night when he lived at home, I had a desperate need to clear the air for once and for all.
“You okay, baby? You seem off.” He twirled the strands of my hair around his middle finger, his other hand holding his head up against a plush, oversized pillow.
I hated to lie to him, but there was no need to spoil the little time we had together with my plague of inescapable insecurities. I tapped his nose and smiled the brightest grin I could muster. “Nothing to worry about, QB. William was his regular passed out self when I left earlier and I should probably get home to make sure he’s still breathing.”
Lennox grumbled and threw out a few choice words for my father. To say William wasn’t exactly his favorite person was an understatement, but then again, he was only taking me at my word. I spared my boyfriend the unpleasant details of my screwed up family; I wanted to keep him, not scare him off. There was no need for him to meet them. Ever. They wouldn’t be a part of my life once we were out of here, anyway—Lennox insisted time and again. He wanted to make sure I was safe, warn my father not to do anything stupid, tell my sister to step up to the plate and take the load off me—but I’d found a way to divert his attention elsewhere until now.
“I can come with you.” He shot up into a sitting position. “We can sleep at your place for once. I can make sure nothing happens with your old man.”
It was the same tune every time. A melody I chose to ignore, no matter how enticing it would be to have Lennox ward off the big, bad, ugly monster that was William Hayward.
“No, Lennox. It’s okay. He’s probably still in the same spot I left him. If I need you, you know you’re the first person I’ll call.” I kissed him once more, lingering when his hands cupped my face and his tongue delved deeper. He wanted me to stay and I wanted more than anything to submit, but there was something I had to take care of before I could have any form of peace of mind.
I should’ve just told him how I felt about the whole Violet thing. But if I said anything to Lennox about what was bothering me, he’d think it was silly. We never did the jealous thing. We had no reason for it. I only had eyes for him and he for me. Long distance was hard, but we trusted each other, and Lennox made it clear that falling for someone else was equivalent to pigs flying. We’re written in the stars, Edie, destined to be together forever.
So why was I harping on this? Why? Because we were talking about Violet. I’d purposely gone out of my way to keep her and Lennox away from each other. Violet didn’t play by the rules and if she and I were clashing—like we were right now—all bets were off. I’d known her her whole life. She was ruthless. Violet always hit below the belt and went for the jugular. It was exactly what I walked in on tonight at the restaurant and, call me crazy, but I wanted to keep my jugular, and Lennox’s, intact.
It was a small miracle that I had any benevolence at all left for the girl. I guess I was the kind of person who liked to see the good in people, no matter how deep it was buried underneath bad decisions and malicious actions. It wasn’t always like this with Violet. That’s why I hung on to hope that this was merely another episode of her acting out and that things would go back to an enjoyable normal once we had a chat.
It was tough to leave him, but I made the decision to come home anyway. I opened the fridge for a snack, but gave up almost as quickly. I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t tired, either, so I found myself sitting at the beat up kitchen table, fingering the warped grain of the oak surface. The humming of the rusty old fridge interrupted my train of thought from time to time. With my head down and my leg tapping at an endless pace, my jaw clenched as I played out in my mind exactly what I wanted to say to Violet when finally given the chance—if ever.
He’s my man! Stay away!
You’ve gone too far this time.
Leave us alone for good, already. I’m done with you.
Every last word, phrase, and rant I could think of sounded too harsh, yet far too forgiving at the same time. I wanted her to understand—clearly—that Lennox was off limits. I wanted her to understand—unquestionably—that her disregard for our relationship and my feelings stung like a slap across the face. I wanted her to understand—unmistakably—that she’d gone way too far and it was never to happen again. Lennox Dean and Violet Hayward were not supposed to cross paths. Not then, not now, not ever.
I had no idea how long I’d been sitting there stewing when she finally stumbled through the front door. Violet didn’t just walk into a room—she made an entrance. Whether it be her choice of risqué clothing, or lack thereof, the varying state of her non-existent sobriety, or her constant need to make some kind of noise. This time, it was all of the above.
Her black uniform tank top was tied in a knot right beneath her boobs, revealing her pierced midriff. She’d changed from work shorts to a tight leather skirt that exposed the rounded bottoms of pert ass cheeks. Her pink-tipped hair was a mess of snarled clumps covering the smeared streaks of eye liner that had accumulated under her heavy-lidded eyes as she bellowed an unrecognizable song. Nothing new. Business as usual. A typical night out for our guest of honor here.
When she spotted me, she stiffened but then immediately narrowed her eyes and slurred, “Well, well, well! Under the same roof again. To what do we owe this honor?” She swayed as she made her way to me, the pungent smell of alcohol wafting off of her with such potency I could probably get drunk off her stench alone.
“Cut your shit. I know what you’re doing.”
“And how, pray tell, would you know that? You’ve cut me off. I’m no one to you, remember?” Her condescending tone almost made me gag. Drunk or high or whatever the hell she was, she knew exactly how to push my buttons.
“Listen to me.” I stood, getting right in her face. Violet faltered backwards, nearly losing her footing before grabbing one of the mismatched kitchen chairs for support. “Do not go near Lennox again!”
The words flew from my mouth with such velocity my head nearly spun. It was ultimately all I wanted. Violet could be in my world, but not his. My little bubble of happiness with Lennox consisted of only the two of us, with the occasional peppering of his snooty parents and our few close friends. Cozying up under a Christmas tree or at a Thanksgiving feast with the Hayward’s would never happen. Not in this lifetime.
“You’re fucking scared, aren’t you?” Violet ignored the gravity of my demand and looked right through me.
Truth was . . . How could I admit a truth so troubling my heart rate kicked up at the mere thought of confessing? I was scared. She destroyed everything she touched, and I didn’t need her anywhere near Lennox for that exact reason. I wasn’t afraid Lennox would fall for her antics, or even like her as a person, for that matter. He’d see her for what she was, I had no doubt about that. But I knew deep down if she got close to us she would try to ruin what Lennox and I had with her sick, twisted outlook on life.
With an audible gulp and false courage gathered from within, I lied. “I’m not scared at all, Violet.”
Dismissing me, she twirled around the dingy kitchen as if this were a joke, and sang, “Oh, you so are. And you should be, too. I could show your jock a real good time. And I could tell he wanted me to. A change of pace from whatever you’ve been boring him with for the last four years. You’re so rigid and righteous—Saint Eden,” she mocked. “You should’ve seen the way he was looking at me. Devouring me with those hungry green eyes. A devoted man doesn’t do that, Eden. Maybe it’s time I show him the way a Hayward ought to treat a man.”
“You evil bitch!” I lunged at her, yanking her hair and pulling her head back. She squealed at my assault but then laughed as her dilated, bloodshot eyes met mine.
How could she laugh? How could she not see what this was doing to me? Where was the little girl who used to look up to me? Who relied on me in the absence of our mother to be her rock, her everything? Tears pricked my eyes, my nostrils flaring with heat as I released my hold on her tangled hair. “I’m your sister, Violet! Your only fucking sister! Please don’t do this to me. I’ll do anything for you if you leave him—leave us—alone.”