Chapter Fifteen
Trystan
Nearly an hour later and a very intense argument with Megan over cutting Cowboy’s balls off, which I won, we were finally making our way across the parking lot to load up a kitten that would probably leave my apartment coated in a thick layer of cat hair, a dog that would slick that shit up with his continuous drooling, and a fucking handsome guppy that was chattering constantly with either the drool dog or the shedding kitten. Up until this moment, my Hummer had always been immaculately clean, well maintained, and had managed to keep the new car smell that everybody loved. Up until this moment. I had no doubt that was all about to change.
Yes, in the past two hours of my life, I had my ass kicked in the worst of ways. I now owned a dog that I didn’t want. I owned a kitten that I didn’t want. I spent way too much money to adopt the dog and kitten that I didn’t want. Dakota, Megan, and Mallary all told me I had to leave here and go straight to the pet store so I could spend even more money on the dog and kitten that I didn’t want. Looking over at Dakota’s animated face, I realized there wasn’t a dollar amount too great to spend if it made him smile like he was. You were damned, fucking straight that I put that smile on his face! Yep, that was me. All me.
I’m the badass of badasses.
When we reached my car, Dakota stopped and frowned. “Maybe we should go ask Mallary if they have an extra towel or something we could put on your seat to protect it?” While he’d been talking, he’d tried to sneak and wipe the drool away from Cowboy’s mouth, but I’d noticed and he’d noticed me noticing. “He might make a mess.”
“He might? I’m pretty sure he’s a walking, sleeping, and pooping mess, Dakota.” I reached down and stroked the dog behind the ears like I’d seen the rest of them do. His big brown eyes rolled to the back of his head and he leaned against me, nearly knocking me down with his impressive muscle mass. “He reminds me a lot of myself. I bet that’s why you were so attracted to him, wasn’t it?”
He chuckled. “I’m definitely seeing the resemblance. He has a pair of big balls, too.”
“And to think they wanted me to have them cut off! That’s fucking cruel.” I winked at him. “Just because you carry my balls around in your back pocket doesn’t mean I’m going to do the same to this big guy.”
“Whatever,” he grumbled but I could see the smile he was trying to hide.
He liked the control he had over me. Did he know just how strong that control was? No, I didn’t think so. He still acted amazed by my attention. Either amazement or disbelief—like sometimes he thought it was all some sort of joke. Where the fuck he could get an idea like that was beyond me. If anything, I’d revealed my feelings too much. I didn’t usually do that, hell, I didn’t usually have feelings at all for the men or women I had taken to my bed. With Dakota, it had always been about so much more than just good sex.
But, damn, the sex was awfully good and I had a feeling it was only about to get better. Tonight I got the fuck machine and edging. I was going to torture his beautiful body for hours, make him quiver and scream, curse and beg. I was going to give us both a night we would never forget. I’d pictured him locked into that fuck machine over a hundred times already but I was finally about to get to witness the real deal. My cock was already throbbing just thinking about it.
“Mr. Matherly! Mr. Matherly, wait up a second!”
Megan was yelling at me and racing across the parking lot, my check waving in her hand. Well, shit. This was going to be embarrassing. I really didn’t want to do this in front of Dakota. Turning in his direction, I said, “Why don’t you load the animals up and I’ll take care of this.”
He totally ignored me and kept his eyes focused on Megan.
“Dakota! Put Cowboy in the car, will ya?”
Too late.
Megan skidded to a stop in front of me. Her eyes were bright and wide. I could see her heart pounding through her shit stained T-shirt. Huh, she had nice tits. Why hadn’t I noticed that before? Oh yeah, because I rarely noticed tits anymore. I was all about the ass…Dakota’s ass.
“I…uh…I think you made a mistake,” she stammered. “The adoption fee for Cowboy was a hundred dollars and fifty dollars for Binx. That’s one hundred and fifty dollars.”
If she didn’t stop twisting that check and waving it in the wind, it wasn’t going to survive the trip to the bank.
“Yeah, contrary to how dumb the media often portrays football players, I can add.” My eyes cut around to Dakota. “I can count, too. When I tell Dakota I’m going to give his ass twenty firm swats, he gets twenty firm swats.” I laughed at my own joke but even to my own ears, I sounded nervous. “I just added in some tax. No biggie. Thanks for helping me put that smile on my love slave’s face.”
I turned away, hoping she would take the hint and keep her mouth shut. I should have known better. Neither of the shelter girls knew when to stop talking. I guess that was why I liked them both so much. Well, that and I’d liked watching Mallary slap Dakota’s ass. It had made me think…things. I would never allow another man to touch him, but could I let a sexy Domme have her way with him while I watched? Maybe.
That could be a very strong maybe. I wasn’t lazy, I just liked to watch.
“This check is for ten thousand dollars, Mr. Matherly. That isn’t tax.”
Well, shit. So much for being discreet.
I scraped my hand through my hair and tried to ignore the strange feeling flowing through me. Hell, it was embarrassment. I didn’t get embarrassed. Shit, I was embarrassed. I really may have lost my balls altogether.
“I didn’t realize you guys weren’t properly funded, Megan. Dakota explained how things work when we got here. You do good work here and I’m glad to be a part of it. I’ll make sure to add your shelter to the list of monthly donations my parents send out. It’s just a tax write-off for a family that has more money than they deserve. It really isn’t a big deal, sweetheart. Trust me, I’m no hero on this. It doesn’t cost me a thing. I’m dirt-ass poor without my family’s money.”
Fuck, she was crying. I didn’t like crying. I didn’t like feeling this way. I was just about to make a run for it when I felt Dakota’s hand on the small of my back, just resting there, nothing sexual…a connection that soothed me immediately.
“Don’t say that, Mr. Matherly. It’s so much more than a tax write-off and you know it. If for some crazy reason it makes you feel better to describe it that way, go ahead, but I know differently. Dakota knows differently. It’s all in your eyes. You’re a softie whether you want to be or not.”
I’d been accused of a lot of things, but a softie had never been one of them. Praises about my football skills and prowess in bed, I could handle. This? Not handling so well.
Dakota stepped in to save me. “Trust me, Megan, there’s nothing soft about this man.” His hand dipped lower to cup my ass, which was so my move and not his, but I liked it. “He’s hard alllllll over.”
Megan rolled her eyes, causing one of the tears that had been hiding there to fall out and streak her cheek. “Okay, that’s more Mallary’s department. I’ll leave you pretty boys alone to discuss who’s the hardest and where. Just know this, you’ve made today one of the happiest days of my life. You have no idea how many mouths we can feed and house with a donation like this. You may like to think of yourself as a devil, Mr. Matherly, but you will always be my angel.” Then, to add icing on the cake, she took two more steps and wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. “Thank you so much, Trystan. So very much.” Then she turned and raced back into the shelter, crying with each and every step.
“That was…well, that was fucking nice of you, Mr. Matherly,” Dakota whispered in my ear.
“Don’t you dare tell anybody else about this or you won’t be able to sit down for a week. Now get your pretty ass in the car so we can go to the pet store and get all the shit off the list Megan gave us, go home and get these smelly animals unloaded, get you to swim practice, and then get you back home so I can have my way with you.” I turned and smiled at him. “Fucking machine, remember?”
He grinned. “I hope you don’t think the thought of that is scaring me, Trystan. If I have had you in my ass, I should be able to take anything that silly machine throws my way. To be honest, I only have one real concern about the entire scenario.”
That caught my attention. “And what might that be?” I really didn’t think he was afraid or intimidated by much of anything in the bedroom. This should be interesting.
“I’m afraid you’ve bought this machine because you like watching me get fucked but wouldn’t dare let another person touch me. That part is okay, especially because I don’t want anybody else touching me either. I’m, however, afraid you’re going to get too lazy to fuck me yourself. Promise me that won’t happen,” he teased.
My cock twitched inside my pants. “Holy fuck, Guppy. That mouth is going to be the death of me. Get in the car before I fuck you in the parking lot in front of everybody.”
Twenty minutes later, and one really fast blow job for me while I circled the pet store eighteen times, we were finally ready to go inside. If I hadn’t just shot my load down Dakota’s throat, I might have been nervous about this new adventure. As it was, I was pretty mellow and completely satisfied. Even all the other dogs and cats inside the cramped, smelly store didn’t bother me. Strangely enough, it did kind of piss me off when every person in there seemed to want to touch or inappropriately fondle my kitten. Why in the hell would they think they could just walk up and snatch her off my shoulder. That was stupid. It was also stupid that I cared since I didn’t really like the purr-ball or the drool-dog, but I just couldn’t seem to not let it bother me. For fuck’s sake—she was tiny. They needed to keep their fucking hands to themselves.
When I growled at the last person, Dakota picked up a small carrier of some type, put her in it, and handed it to me to carry. Since it looked a hell of a lot like a purse, I glared at him, but took the carrier nonetheless. “Why the hell are they doing that? Just grabbing at her like she’s there for them to play with. I don’t see anybody groping your dog. Am I sending off some kind of pussy vibe that makes them think it’s okay?”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Trystan, your arm is bigger than most people’s thighs, so I’m pretty sure you aren’t sending out any pussy vibes, as you call them. It’s a common pet-owner practice, a way of telling the other person that you think their pet is as cute as can be. Most of the time, you’re expected to return the gesture. Like when all these people have stopped to tell you how adorable Binx is, instead of saying “I know it” or “fuck off” or “keep your fucking hands to yourself,” they were expecting you to complement their pet as well.”
Uh oh. “That’s not what I did,” I admitted.
“No, that’s not what you did. I’ve been here, listening to you and seeing the warning daggers you’ve been shooting everybody with, so I’m well aware that it isn’t what you did.”
“Are you sure? They haven’t been trying to touch drool-dog.”
“That’s because they’re either afraid of Cowboy or they don’t want his drool all over him. Call him by his name, Trystan, or he’ll never learn it.”
I was pretty sure I just got scolded in front of the entire crowd of pet lovers are us. We were acting like an old married couple and I fucking loved it. Of course, most old married couples didn’t get to go home and do what Dakota and I were going to do tonight, but that was just too damned bad for them.
“Do we have everything on the list?” I asked him, ready to be home so I could at least get everything gathered up for our playtime tonight before we had to leave for swim practice. There had been about seven items on Megan’s shopping list for Cowboy and Binx. I eyed our shopping cart. While I was no mathematician, I was pretty sure there was about forty items in the cart. Oh, and the carrier in my hand…dangling like a purse.
Dakota cocked his brows when he looked at the cart. Yes, I’d added all the extra stuff. Whenever I saw someone buying something for their cat or dog, I’d felt obligated to get my pets the same thing, or two of the same thing. That had to be my parent’s fault. Somehow I should be able to lay that right at their feet.
“Yeah, I think we’ve got everything covered,” he laughed. “Listen, I’m going to help pay for this. I know you wouldn’t have adopted two pets if it wasn’t for me. Let me pay for Cowboy’s stuff.”
Now that pissed me off. I didn’t know how much money Dakota had, but since I knew he ate in the cafeteria every day before moving in with me, I knew it must not be enough. I wanted to bark at him to put his wallet away but I didn’t want to make him mad or embarrass him.
“No, I’ve got it,” I told him as I started to lay all the ridiculous shit out onto the conveyor belt. It was some serious ridiculous shit, too. Why would I need hair bows for a cat? Holy shit, I couldn’t believe I put that in the cart. I was going to tell everybody Dakota did that. If Alex got wind of this, I would never live it down.
He still hadn’t put his wallet away. I really hoped this didn’t get ugly.
“Trystan,” he growled. “I’m capable of paying for dog food.”
“I know,” I answered, pretending I wasn’t paying him any attention.
Yeah, that was when it got ugly.
****
I cringed as he threw the second bag of nonsense into the back of the Hummer. He was seething. His cheeks were red and these ugly veins had popped up on his forehead and they were throbbing…like they might explode at any given moment. I was so fucking dead.
“Are you pouting?” I asked, standing there holding my dog purse. I would laugh at how stupid I had to look but I was pretty sure he wouldn’t see the humor in it so I settled for standing there, looking as meek and ashamed as possible.
He spun around so fast, I was forced to take a step backward. “If you ever fucking do something like that again, I’ll fucking kick your ass, Trystan. I’m not kidding with you and I’m not fucking pouting. I will kick your ass!”
The third bag went flying into the back. Cowboy sat on his haunches watching the entire show but, overall, looked rather bored with our bickering. Binx was in her pretty purse, purring like she was enjoying Dakota’s fury.
“Never again!” He hissed.
Fourth bag.
“Fuck! Thanks to your stupid show for the entire store, we forgot to get the bag of dog food.”
I’d never seen him so agitated. I’d seen him appear lifeless and dead or wild in bed, but never spitting fireballs in my direction. It was kinda hot. “Here, hold Binx, I’ll go get the dog food.” Again, I tried for meek and humble. Again, I was pretty sure I failed. It was so damned hard not to laugh right now. The look on his face had been priceless…right before I could not see his face anymore.
“You keep your mother-fucking ass right where it is,” he practically screamed. “I’ll get the fucking dog food while you try to come up with a reason why I shouldn’t go ahead and kick your ass now.” With a huff, he turned and marched back toward the store, flipping me off over his shoulder.
I watched his ass until I couldn’t see it anymore and then doubled over laughing. He might be pissed at what I’d done, but him letting the bird fly in my direction pretty much told me he was already getting over it. When he got pissed, really pissed, he would turn quiet and withdrawn. This fiery side of him had me nearly coming in my pants.
Sure, maybe I shouldn’t have tossed him over my shoulder in front of everybody and then carried him out of the store, but I’d just got caught up in the argument we were having over money, which was ridiculous because I had enough money for the both of us, and it had seemed like the only way to end the spat before it escalated any further. Add the fact that I found manhandling him that way in front of a crowd totally erotic and intoxicating, and I couldn’t dredge up one iota of regret. If he stayed mad at me, I would definitely find that regret fucking fast.
While waiting on him to come back, I looked inside my Hummer to remind myself of what I’d just done. Yep, they were still there, I was a proud pet owner. My mother would never let me live this one down. She was always so disappointed in me because of my lack of desire to snuggle a furry creature. Sure, it had started as a way to lure Dakota to me, entice him with something I was confident he couldn’t resist, but it had train-wrecked into something else very quickly. The passion I’d seen in Dakota and Megan’s eyes when they talked about the shelter and the rescues living there had made me take a hard look at myself and admit I was lacking. It wasn’t as if I didn’t have a heart and could care less about animals in need, I’d just never taken the time to stop and consider that there was a need for a service like they provided. When I’d walked into that shelter and looked at those poor, helpless animals, I’d felt ashamed of my ignorance. I had also wanted to start my sorry ass moving in the right direction and a tiny kitten seemed like a nice baby step for me. Donating money wasn’t a problem and, unfortunately, I felt absolutely no pain when I wrote that ten thousand dollar check…which kind of made it worthless. My mom always said you should give until it hurts, until you had to give up something important to you.
The kitten seemed like a perfect fit for my life. That giant drool machine? I would have never chosen that dog, would have never given it a chance. He was going to be a huge responsibility, a lot of trouble, and I was fairly certain he would suck the life out of my extra time. He was the polar opposite of a good match for me. At least he was until I’d looked into Dakota’s eyes. My boy wanted that dog and I’d known with only one quick glance, I would have moved heaven and earth to get it for him. I wasn’t exactly sure when his happiness became more important than mine, but that was exactly where I was. I wanted to be able to give him all the things he’d never had. I wanted to be the center of his universe because he damned well had snuggled himself right into the center of mine.
An excited bark coming from the back seat of my Hummer told me that Cowboy had once again caught sight of Dakota. I twisted around to hunt for him and when I saw him, my stomach did a cartwheel. He was carrying the giant bag of dog food over his shoulder, much like I’d carried him, and the grin on his face told me he was more than half-way ready to forgive me. The stain on his cheeks had toned down to somewhere between a Rudolph-nose color and the bright pink of Binx’s nose. His swagger was back.
How could he have so many secrets he kept hidden from me but I was still blown away? He told me only physical, swore that was all he could offer, and I was fighting an internal battle to not demand a commitment. I wanted him to feel the same way I did and for the first time in my life, I was afraid I wasn’t going to get what I wanted. The first time it ever really mattered and I was going to fall short.
I couldn’t let it happen.
My eyes returned to his and my heart hitched with worry. What if I couldn’t stop it from happening?
My attention was so focused on switching between my worries and lusting after his pretty smile that I almost didn’t notice the car barreling down the road behind him. I was not sure what it was, but something about what was happening caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. I pushed away from the Hummer, and started walking toward him…and then burst into a run. The stupid fucking car was suddenly halfway on the road and half way on the sidewalk. It wasn’t slowing down and Dakota’s body was right in its path.
Seconds turned into what felt like long drawn out moments as I rushed toward him. People started screaming, alerting Dakota to danger, but when he turned to see what the problem was, he froze in shock. The bag of dog food fell off his shoulder and hit the ground, bursting open and sending kibble in every direction. The damned food was rolling to safety but Dakota was still standing directly in the car’s path. I wasn’t going to make it. There was no way I could make it to him in time.
I was supposed to be the fastest fucking runner in college fucking football and I was not going to get to him before that car did. Spurred by that thought, a burst of fuel starburst through my veins and my body made contact with his only a second before the car’s impact would have certainly killed him when they collided. Our bodies hit the pavement with a bone-shattering thud and I used my momentum to keep us rolling as we made contact. With the first fucking roll, I felt a hot gush of air slap me in the face and knew it was the wind from the car passing so close to us, moving so fucking fast. They never even slowed the fuck down. I’d barely even registered that we had stopped rolling before I caught a glimpse of the black Honda disappearing down the road. A stupid non-descript black Honda with tinted windows and absolutely nothing special about it that would make it stand out in a crowd when the cops tried to look for it. Fucking moron! Dakota could have been killed.
And with that thought, all the air gushed straight out of my lungs and my head dropped heavily to the concrete. Without even realizing it, I pulled his body tight against mine and just held him there, probably squeezing too tightly but knowing it would never be tight enough…not for me, at least. The wild thumping of his heart against my chest was the only drug that would calm my nerves after what had just happened. I was afraid to open my mouth because I was not sure what the fuck would come tumbling out. I was sure I would pledge my undying love to this man and I knew he wasn’t ready for that. Hell, he might not ever be ready for that from me. I might not be ready for that. I thought I was ready.
I squeezed tighter.
He yelped in pain and then, as if something wild clocked over inside of him, he started struggling like he was fighting for his life. The people that had gathered around to ensure we were all right backed up in surprise. He was wild, cursing and fighting against my hold, for several long minutes. I tried to be as gentle as possible as I held him crushed against me, but he was much stronger than I’d ever given him credit for. Those lean muscles of his packed a powerful punch when backed into a corner.
“Shhh,” I whispered against his ear and then grunted in pain when one of his knees made pretty fucking firm contact with my junk. “I’ve got you, babe. It’s all right. You’re safe.”
His elbow caught my jaw. “I’m never fucking safe!” He hissed and then I watched as the shock of what he’d said out loud settled across his face.
Was this fear talking? The near-miss causing him to be afraid of something that had already passed? Or was it something else? Did he really feel unsafe? Was there a logical reason for him to feel that way or was it merely something emotional?
“You’re safe with me,” I answered quietly. “You’ll always be safe with me.”
At least he’d stopped fighting me. Well, at least he wasn’t fighting on the outside any longer. There was an internal battle taking place that scared me. The scariest part about it was that I knew he would never share it with me. This was going to be yet another thing he kept locked away, another part that threatened to come between us because since I didn’t know what the fuck it was, I didn’t know how to fight it.
“Come on, babe. It was a stupid kid, probably texting instead of watching the road. Nobody is trying to hurt you. They wouldn’t dare. You belong to me,” I boasted, hoping it would make him feel better.
It didn’t. I watched as something in his eyes shattered as soon as the words left my mouth. It was a look I’d never seen on anybody in my entire life. The best words I could come up with to describe it might be an innocent person on death row, making their final walk toward execution, knowing they were innocent but that no one believed them. I’d put that look on his face. Me. I was responsible for that shit and I’d only been trying to help.
Shutters went up, blocking me out of his heart just as sure as if I’d been the one driving the car that had almost hit him. I didn’t know what to say, how to help take away the pain. Fuck, if I opened my mouth, the wrong shit would fall right out again.
He looked around, either assuring himself he was safe or noticing the crowd for the first time. “Get me out of here,” he pleaded softly.