Chapter Three
Trystan
I was literally growling when I staggered my exhausted ass out of the bed at exactly four thirty in the morning. What kind of person got up at this time of day? Hell, I didn’t even know life existed this early in the morning. My sluggish limbs carried me to the over-sized bathroom where I took a morning piss before I climbed into the shower. My scream echoed off the tiled walls when the ice-cold water smacked rudely against my morning wood. “Shit! Fuck! Damn!”
That precious baby was accustomed to a much warmer good morning caress from either my loving hand or the lips of whomever I’d let spend the night with me. Needless to say, the cold water took care of what my hand would much rather have done. Didn’t matter—I didn’t have time for the basic luxuries of life this morning. Today was the beginning of my ‘win Guppy over’ campaign. I was hoping for a two-day plan, but Alexander insisted I might be looking at least a month’s work of groveling before I could get my Guppy to stop looking at me like he wanted to eat me alive one minute and punch me in the face the next.
Yeah, I supposed Alex was now the gay-relationship expert since he had been with Lincoln for almost two months. That thought would be comical if I wasn’t painfully aware of the fact that he was getting fucked soundly on a daily basis while I was currently suffering through the first dry spell of my entire life. In my defense, it was more of a self-inflicted dry spell because I could be getting plenty of ass, male or female, but ever since my eyes wandered across the cafeteria one afternoon and landed on Dakota Jacobs, aka Guppy, I hadn’t been interested in any ass except for his. This had never happened to me before so I was chalking it up to the fact that I’d never had to chase anybody before. To believe it could be anything other than that would mean I believed that everyday life really was a Disney movie—the Wonderful World of Alex and Lincoln. Yeah, shit like that only happened once in a blue moon and those two horny bastards had taken all the love at first sight phenomena and tucked it into their pockets. What they found, or stumbled upon, was true love, but I was experiencing a serious case of the ‘lusts’. As soon as I fucked him, everything would be back to normal. That, of course, brought me full circle to my problem—he clearly wasn’t interested in me fucking him. I guess there was a first time for everything.
Last night, after he reamed me out for the Guppy comment, Alex told me I was completely insane for even glancing in the direction of a guy like Dakota. When I took offense, he quickly explained that he only said that because there was an innocence in Dakota’s eyes that told him my new infatuation wouldn’t be interested in the rough sex, borderline BDSM shit I enjoyed. I guess I could see Alex’s point because there was definitely a shy innocence halo hanging over Guppy’s head but I’d seen something that Alex didn’t see—a little bit of devil managed to sneak through every now and again. Oh, he tried to hide it by keeping his head down and ignoring virtually every other human being on campus, but I’d seen it when he didn’t know anybody was watching him. I’d witnessed it and I damned well wanted to make that devil come out and play with me. On top of that, the dude had the tightest ass I’d ever laid eyes on and if I didn’t get to touch it before long, I was afraid I was going to go nuts. And, yes, only his ass would appease this hunger burning in the pit of my stomach.
The problem was, no matter how many times I’d given myself the ‘it’s just the chase’ lecture, the voice inside my head would suddenly grow a middle finger and flip me off. So, if it wasn’t just the chase, what could it be? Was I shallow enough that it could be based only on his looks? Yeah, I surely was. Did I think that was it? No, I wouldn’t get that lucky. Sure, I would like to say it was solely because of how fucking awesome he looked in those tiny speedos the swim team wore and how well he filled his out, but he hadn’t been wearing those skimpy fuck-me itsy-bitsies when I’d first laid eyes on him. No, he had been wearing loose-fitting jeans, an over-sized sweater, and chunky boots. His silky caramel colored hair had been hidden beneath a beanie cap and since he’d stared at his food the entire time, I’d been forced to make a commotion to even get him to glance up so I could see the color of his eyes. Bright green—like trees in early spring…near a trickling waterfall…in a fairytale world. The pain I had seen swirling in those beautiful depths had taken my breath and made my heart ache. Maybe it had been that pain and sadness that had originally sparked my interest, but it was his smile that had turned it into an obsession.
Don’t get me wrong—he didn’t smile often. I’d narrowed it down to only when he came in contact with small furry creatures. People just didn’t seem to do it for him. Oh, he smiled. Well, he smiled at most everybody except me, but it wasn’t his real smile—the one he saved for any and all animals he came across while on campus. That reminded me—I needed to ask Alex if I could borrow his Beagle for a day or two. Maybe I could use that squishy little monster to attract Dakota’s attention. As I climbed out of the shower and started drying myself, I couldn’t help but think Alex would not approve of me using his dog. Maybe I could dog-nap Big Al?
Naked, I strode across my bedroom and started sifting through clothes. Trying to dress to impress was something that was also new to me. Generally, I grabbed whatever was hanging at the end of the closet and went with it. Thanks to good genes and hard work on the football field and in the weight room, I pretty much looked damned good in anything, so I’d never worried about it before. Dakota had me second-guessing everything about me, including my attire. The skittish little swimmer definitely hadn’t indicated that he found my usual slouchy look appealing, so I needed to mix things up—Alex’s words, not mine.
Alex had spent the entire ride back across campus split between laughing at me for getting shot down and bitching at me for being such an arrogant ass. While I didn’t enjoy his laughter or bitchiness, that didn’t mean I didn’t listen and learn. I would probably never admit it to him out loud, but he had some pretty good ideas on how to try and win Dakota over. One of those ideas involved me hauling my lazy ass out of bed at the butt-crack of dawn and dragging that same lazy ass across campus in the freezing cold. I’d rated that idea much higher on the scale last night than I was this morning. Seriously, did people really start their days this early?
His other comment really had me knocked back on my heels. He had called me a stalker, and not the cute kind that I’d used to refer to myself after I’d shown him the pictures I had taken of Dakota—the ones Dakota hadn’t known I was taking. Yeah, apparently that wasn’t cool. Following him around campus when he didn’t know about it or when I’m not wanted? That’s not cool either. Stalker. That’s what he had called me. I didn’t look at myself that way because I knew I didn’t mean Dakota any harm, I just wanted him. Really bad. I viewed it more as me on a knowledge gathering expedition…with pictures. When I explained this to Alex, he looked at me like I was an idiot and then I’d been forced into listening to the differences between stalking and getting to know somebody. I listened. I might not have agreed, but I listened and I was going to try my best to mix things up and go for a totally different angle. Today’s approach would be referred to as flirting. Riiight—me, flirting. I guess time would tell.
I tossed several T-shirts aside before settling on a black button-up that hugged my muscles in a blatantly sexual way. After that, I slipped on my best jeans and most expensive boots. Since my body was pretty much a human-heater, I could pull this look off without freezing to death in late-January temperatures. I was about to head out the door when I realized I hadn’t spent one minute on my hair and a razor hadn’t touched my face.
Fuck, I was never going to make it on time. I hadn’t even started stage one of flirting and I was already exhausted.
Dakota
My head was pounding and my eyes were blurry as I climbed out of the shower. I swore that my limbs felt like they weighed a ton this morning. Every single morning of my life except on Sundays, involved me getting up promptly at four in the morning and by fifteen till five, I’d showered, dressed, eaten, and was at the pool. It was a routine I should have already grown accustomed to, but this morning was proving me wrong. Of course, I knew what the problem was, I just was not crazy about admitting it to myself.
I’d spent the entire night wide awake, envisioning rock hard muscles, tree trunk legs, and an arrogant smirk that had kept my cock preoccupied each and every hour that needed to have been spent sleeping. I was torn between wondering why I was always attracted to the wrong kind of men to thinking maybe Trystan was different. I knew he wasn’t different, I just wanted him to be.
Glancing at my watch, I realized there was no way I would have time for breakfast and make it to the pool on time, so I resigned myself to starving to death because I sure as hell didn’t want to give the coach another reason to dislike me. The qualifiers were coming up in early March and I had to be ready, regardless of the fact that I’d lost nearly six months as I’d dealt with the fiasco at Texas.
Yeah, I was behind with my training due to dealing with issues of switching schools after the semester had already started, dodging questions about where I came from and why I’d left, and, like that wasn’t enough, I now had visions of Trystan Matherly messing with my head. To be honest—I didn’t need anything Trystan Matherly in my life. Period. End of story.
As quietly as possible, I slipped back into my dorm room, dressed, grabbed my gym bag, and slipped back out. My roommate hated me. Apparently, he had the sweet life of not having a roomie until I showed up and virtually destroyed his sex life—his words. I’d not done a damned thing to hinder his sex life—he had a different guy in his room at least three nights a week. I knew this because I was forced to stay late at the library so I didn’t interrupt them. The dude could not be a bigger prick, but I still managed to feel sorry for him. The desperation to be loved literally oozed out of his every pore. Thank the fuck I realized love was just a fairytale.
As I scrambled down the stairs, I was thankful that at least nobody else was up at this time in the morning. That way, I wouldn’t risk getting sucked into any of their conversations. Friends were dangerous. Lovers were even more dangerous. I didn’t plan on having either while I was here.
The minute I stepped outside the dorm, I let out a string of curse words and jerked my hood over my head. It seemed to get colder and colder with each passing day, and I had nearly a mile hike across campus to get to The Aquatic Center. I flew down the concrete steps, my head bent low to avoid the cold air from stealing my breath. I didn’t notice the freakin’ brick wall until I ran smack into it. “Humph!” The breath rushed from my lungs on impact.
“Slow down, Guppy,” a husky voice said, making me realize it wasn’t a brick wall—just Trystan Matherly’s solid chest. He hadn’t even budged when I slammed into him.
When I started to teeter backward with my momentum change, he reached out, grabbed my belt, and jerked me upright again. I looked down to see his fingers curled around the band of my jeans and belt…and they didn’t move, even after he knew I was standing upright. The backs of his fingers were touching my bare skin right under my waistband, only inches from my cock.
He tugged me closer. “You okay?”
I stood there, staring at the hand that still held me prisoner in his grasp. Everything about him was so fucking huge and powerful. My desire to submit to that power stole my breath. I couldn’t do this again.
“Hey, Dakota,” he whispered. “Say something. You’re starting to worry me.”
My eyes fluttered upward, soaking in every inch of him in their slow travels. He was dressed differently. He looked delicious.
He looked dangerous.
“Stop touching me,” I finally managed to answer. At least those were the words that tumbled from my mouth. Inside my head, I was begging him to touch me more, to give me what I so desperately needed. I hadn’t allowed another person to touch me since that last night with Evan. Hell, I was afraid I might never want anybody to touch me again after that night, but here I was, practically swooning with the brush of his fingers against my skin. It was so pathetic that I could take something so harmlessly innocent and twist it into a show of dominance inside my head.
“Yeah, okay,” he muttered. He didn’t sound angry, just disappointed. His hand fell away from me and just as I’d suspected, I instantly felt cold.
Fighting against my cravings, I forced myself to take a couple of steps backward, away from his heat and erotic scent. I stood there a second, realizing it would take a lot more than two fucking steps to block out the pheromones racing through my body.
“Why are you here?” I asked, trying to make my voice sound snappy and angry instead of burning with lust. “We talked about this last night. Leave me alone.”
He reached down to pick something up off the ground and instead of watching to see if it was some kind of weapon to beat me to death with, I watched how his muscles moved and slithered against his clothing. He was a work of art. How could one look so powerful and yet so graceful at the same time? Confidence practically radiated from his body.
“I brought you breakfast,” he said as he offered me a brown bag and a large drink that looked and smelled enough like a latte to make my mouth water. “An extra-large caramel latte with double caramel and extra whipped cream. There’s a sausage and egg croissant and a blueberry muffin in the bag.”
That was exactly what I ordered on the days that I could actually afford to purchase breakfast instead of eating off the meal ticket my scholarship offered. Well, I ordered a small caramel latte because an extra-large was a luxury I could not afford. How in the hell did he know? Why in the hell did he care?
Suspicion caused me to take another step away from him. “Why?”
A huge grin spread across his face, making him look much more like the arrogant Trystan Matherly that ruled the entire campus like it was his own personal kingdom, which made the rest of us his personal slaves. “Because Alexander said I acted like an ass last night.”
“You did.” I could not believe I was talking to him. Just walk away. No, run away. This was a trick. Men like Trystan Matherly didn’t flirt with gay men…at least not in public. I was something that football stars kept hidden away like a sexual disease.
He took a step toward me, taking away one of the safety steps I’d just put between us. Only two of those left and I would be inches away from him again.
“We may have to agree to disagree on that one. I call it flirting, you and Alexander call it me being an ass.” Another step closer. “But in the interest of playing fair, I’m here to prove that I can flirt in other ways.”
I smirked. “Like bringing me breakfast?”
“Like bringing you breakfast,” he confirmed.
“You wasted your time. I don’t want it. Don’t do it again,” I said, hoping against hope that my voice sounded cold instead of like I was desperately pleading for him to stop tempting me. I tried to take a step around him but his big body blocked my escape.
“I kind of thought that’s how you might respond,” he whispered. His lips were mere inches from my face now—so close I could feel his warm breath tickling my eyelashes. My nostrils flared to take one last drag of his intoxicating scent.
“Move,” I said and this time I knew my voice gave away my desperation.
“Take the breakfast, Guppy. I bought it for you and I want you to have it.”
“No.” I was being a stubborn idiot. I wanted the breakfast. Really bad.
“This is how it’s going to play out. I dragged my rock-hard ass out of bed a good six hours before my regular time so I could bring rock-hard ass all the way across campus to hand deliver this food. While here, I also planned to get another thorough look at that swimmer’s physique I’ve come to admire so damned much so you’re either going to politely take my token of affection or I’m going to follow you all the way to the goldfish tank, begging you to accept my gift. If you take it now, I’ll eye-fuck you one last time and then be on my merry way.” He grinned at me. “So, what’s it going to be? An escort to the fish tank or a nice breakfast?”
While I seriously doubted he would follow me across campus because someone might see him, I was not really ready to take the risk. If I was around him much longer, I would toss safety, security, and pride out the window and beg him to fuck me with more than his eyes, and I knew that would not end well for me. It never did. I rolled my eyes and snatched the bag from his hand but was much more careful when I took the extra-large latte—that was precious cargo. “Thank you, Trystan,” I gritted. “Now, go away.”
Stay with me.
“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” He started walking backwards toward the parking lot where I assumed his car awaited, his sexy smile firmly in place. I put my head down so he could not see the small grin that was fighting to make an appearance.
“Oh, and Guppy?” he called in a voice louder than necessary.
I’d frozen, afraid of the insult that was probably about to tumble from his sexy lips, proving he was no different than Evan and that I’d been a fool for falling for his trick.
“You’re looking damned fine in that speedo you wear to practice, damned fine!”
Therefore, it began—the breadcrumb trail that would eventually lead to my destruction.
I didn’t expect to see Trystan again the next morning when I left the dorm, but there he was, bright and early, looking sexier than a man had the right to look and carrying my breakfast treasures. He didn’t try to harass me and his flirting was nothing more than a few innocent teases before he handed the breakfast over with a wink. The third morning, he was there again but this time he included a pair of heavy wool gloves, with the fingers cut out, along with the breakfast and latte. I could not believe he’d noticed I didn’t have a pair of gloves and that I was obviously too something to buy my own pair. I suspected he knew I was poor as dirt, but since he didn’t say anything about it, I didn’t either.
I just accepted the gloves and didn’t try to hide the appreciative smile. At the moment, after what I’d been through, that was the best I could offer. Oh, I wanted to offer more—such much fucking more, but I couldn’t. Trusting Trystan was so far out of my comfort zone that I didn’t see any way that I could ever get there.
The fourth morning was the same with breakfast but this time, he walked across the campus with me—not too close, but not too far away from my side. He didn’t try to get me to talk to him. He just chatted nonstop the entire time about absolutely nothing important, but I hung onto every word. When we got to the fish tank, as he called it, he leaned in close to me and whispered, “You smell so fucking good. Have a good swim, Guppy.” Then, he’d walked away, acknowledging folks he recognized when they passed. He didn’t try to hide the fact that he was in a section of the campus he didn’t belong or that he’d walked side by side with me to get there. He’d just strutted away with the arrogant swagger that I’d come to recognize as Trystan Matherly.
That same day he, Alexander, and another guy I didn’t know, but who had to be on the football team judging from his massive size, showed up in the cafeteria when I was having lunch. Alexander offered a friendly wave which I answered with a chin nod and from the grin on his face, I was pretty sure he recognized what a big deal that was for me. The big guy that I didn’t recognize studied me like I was indeed a guppy in a fish tank, but he didn’t send out any negative vibes or anything that made me feel uncomfortable. Trystan blew me a kiss, which I promptly ignored.
I stared at my food the entire time, a heated blush scorched my face after the air kiss, and as soon as I’d put the last bite in my mouth, I gathered my stuff and made a quick exit. To say I was disappointed that he didn’t follow me out and at least try to flirt with me would be a mild understatement. It kind of made the rest of my day suck.
The next morning, and the next morning, and the next morning after that followed the same routine. Trystan brought me breakfast and walked me to the fish tank—yeah, I called it the fish tank now…inside my head, of course. I learned all sorts of stuff about him but whenever he asked me a question, I made sure he understood I was not ready for that. I’d vowed I would not speak, just keep my lips slammed together like I was wearing gorilla glue for lip gloss, but I’d crumbled after the sixth day. I was not a chatty chipmunk or anything as desperate as that, but I did finally manage to gather the courage to answer when he asked if I thought the winter was unseasonably cold this year. How the fuck would I know? I’d never been to Alabama before. I tried to ‘pretty up’ my answer, but it turned out to closely resemble ‘how the fuck would I know.’
I could not believe how out of practice I’d gotten with just trying to answer simple questions in a conversation. One would never be able to guess it by how I acted now, but I used to have friends. I would laugh at stupid jokes, go to trashy bars, and have all-night study sessions with friends where we never once cracked open a book. I would drink to get drunk because I had not realized the dangers that accompanied being incapacitated. I’d trusted people. I’d loved people.
Those days were so far gone that I could barely even remember them. Actually, I’d totally forgotten them until Trystan started trying to drag me back into the land of the living. I needed to cut this off before my heart was hurt.
I was swimming laps in my morning practice when I made that decision—I was telling Trystan this had to stop. I’d already fallen head over ass for him, which I was sure was his plan all along. This was it. I was done. I could not let myself be damaged like before. Trystan Matherly didn’t care about me. He was either flirting with me because Evan had found me and Trystan had agreed to help him finalize his plan of completely destroying me, or he just wanted to fuck my ass and then toss me away with a disgusted laugh. Either way, I would not survive it.