Chapter Four
Trystan
“No, Trystan, you cannot borrow Big Al,” Alex snapped. “I’ve told you that was just creepy. Anyway, it would confuse Big Al. Come up with another plan—one that doesn’t involve using my pet as your wingman.”
I was listening to Alex fuss at me while keeping one eye on my Guppy across the cafeteria. Something seemed off about him this afternoon. He’d been fine this morning and by fine, I mean he spoke exactly twelve words to me the entire trek to the fish tank. That was three more than yesterday so from where I was standing, I was only nine hundred eighty two days away from a quick peck on the lips. Hell, this was moving much slower than I’d ever anticipated, but I kept telling myself it would only make the victory even sweeter. I’d never worked so hard for anybody or anything in my entire life. His ass was so going to be worth it.
“Oh, come on, Alex. That dog loves me. Just for one afternoon walk on campus.
Those big brown eyes might be able to score me an afternoon chat on top of my early morning one-sided conversations.”
Dakota looked sad. What had happened? I always ended up sneaking in to watch his practices (since I was already up) and everything seemed to be going as usual during his morning practice. My Guppy was the best-damned swimmer on the entire team, not to mention he looked better in his itsy bitsy speedos than any of the other guys. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up when I caught Trey and his bunch of idiot friends headed toward Dakota’s table. That group of idiots generally meant absolutely nothing but an ass-load of trouble.
My suspicions were confirmed when they stopped only a few feet from Dakota. Trey leaned in and whispered something in his ear, and Dakota’s face was suddenly flaming red. I watched as his entire body tensed up and a look of bitterness marred his beautiful features.
I slammed my diet soda onto the tabletop.
“Hell, okay! One walk, but no more than that,” Alex surrendered. “But you have to take him to the pet store and buy him a treat afterwards. If he’s going to be your wingman, he needs to get something out of it.”
“I think Guppy’s got some problems,” I growled, nodding in his direction. Alex and Rock both swiveled around to see what was going on. When I heard Rock’s groan of disgust, I knew I was not over reacting.
“Yeah, those guys are trouble—a bunch of homophobes, from what I’ve heard.” Rock said and stood up. “Come on, let’s go make sure they don’t start any trouble.”
And that was one of the many reasons why I loved my friends. Alex, who would not be worth a damn in a fight with his hand fucked up, started following Rock’s lead without question. These guys were the best and from everything I could determine from Dakota, he didn’t have this kind of support in his life. Hell, he didn’t have any support in his life. He simply existed—nothing more, nothing less. No, maybe less.
“Let me handle this,” I said as I took the lead. I mean, he was my man, so I was going to be the one to defend him. I could not imagine I would need any help taking out Trey and his mob, but it was nice to know they were there just in case. No, it was just nice to know they were there—no matter what.
I got to Dakota’s table just in time to hear him tell Trey to fuck off. Good for him! Of course, these over-grown steroid users would rip Dakota to shreds in a fight, but I was still glad to see he didn’t take shit off anybody. Anyway, I was there now, so he didn’t need to worry about a damned thing.
“Hey, Dakota,” I said in a friendly voice, intentionally not calling him Guppy just in case Alex was right and it might not be a cool nickname. I was pretty sure it was a cool nickname, though. “Mind if we join you?”
We didn’t sit down, just glared at Trey and the Trey wanna-bes.
“That would be…good,” Dakota answered softly, shocking me with the fact that he felt threatened enough that he would even accept me stepping in without giving me one of his arguments or at least the usual silent treatment that was always accompanied by one of his angry scowls.
“Hey, Tank! You know this guy’s a fag, right?” One of Trey’s friends said with a smirk, and then flinched when he looked at Alex and probably remembered the whole picture around campus episode. His face turned sickly shade of green right before my very eyes. He disgusted me.
I turned to Trey, giving him one opportunity to make things right for Dakota before I made things really wrong for him. I waited. He shuffled his feet and then said, “Come on, guys. Let’s just go.”
That was not what I’d been waiting for. “What’s wrong, Trey? Don’t you remember me?” I asked, loving how he started turning the exact same shade of green as his friend.
“Just drop it, okay, Trystan? We didn’t know he was a friend of yours.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at all of them. “Didn’t know he was a friend of mine? Why would that even matter? My friend or not my friend should not matter on whether you treat someone with respect or not. You’re a pathetic bully—all of you.”
“No, we just don’t like fags,” the biggest of the group growled. Stupid fucker.
“Trey does,” I said softly. My eyes never left Trey’s face as I searched for some sort of shame for how he had treated Dakota. It was not there. The only thing I could see was that he was terrified of what was about to happen—probably as terrified as Dakota had been a few minutes ago. “Don’t you, Trey? Please tell me you remember. It would just break my heart and snuff out my ego if you didn’t,” I teased, but a smile never reached my eyes.
Trey’s friends looked at each other and then at Trey. “What’s he talking about, man?”
“Nothing,” Trey snapped.
Yeah, he’d made a big mistake messing with what was mine. Hell, I would have done this to him regardless of who he’d been bullying. My motto was that if you were big enough to dish it out, you needed to be big enough to take it.
“I’m saying that if Trey doesn’t remember our special time together, it’s going to be damaging to my ego.” I lowered my head to meet Trey’s eyes again. “It was at that party your fraternity hosted earlier in the year. I was there. You were there. Alcohol was there.” I grinned at his discomfort. “My cock was there. Your mouth was there.” I turned to his friends. “Do I need to make myself any clearer? Your good friend, Trey the gay-basher, sure did seem to enjoy the taste of cock…at least on that night.”
Every ounce of blood drained from Trey’s face before he turned and practically ran out of the cafeteria, tail tucked between his legs. The fool had seriously thought I was not going to tell them. He’d been wrong. I was not ashamed of what I was and what I enjoyed and it pissed me off when somebody tried to make me ashamed. If you didn’t like it, that was fine, but it didn’t give you the right to judge what other people do—to try to take away their happiness just because it might make you uncomfortable. Fuck that shit.
“Gross, man!” Rock exclaimed loud enough for everyone at least four tables over to hear. “I can’t believe you let his lips touch your cock. Just how drunk were you, Tank?”
“Pretty damned drunk,” I murmured. My fun was over. The rest of Trey’s friends had magically disappeared and now I only had eyes for Dakota. I had to make sure he was okay, that they had not said too much crap to him before I’d gotten there.
I looked at his empty food tray and said, “Let’s take a walk, Guppy.” I was not sure how he would react after what had happened but I did know enough about him to know he wasn’t enjoying all the attention he was currently receiving in the busy cafeteria. “Come on,” I urged, offering him my hand. I was not surprised when he didn’t take it.
I was surprised, though, when he stood up and said, “Let me get rid of this first.” He nodded toward his tray but Rock snatched it up before he could even reach in the direction of the table.
“We’ve got it, Guppy. Go with Tank.” Rock looked down at the tray and said, “Damn, man, you didn’t leave me anything.”
“First of all, you don’t get to call him Guppy, that’s just me. His name is Dakota—use it. Secondly, he is a swimmer and they have to eat a lot of calories. Thirdly, just take the damned tray and shut your trap.”
Rock smiled. “It was nice to meet you, Dakota, I’m Rock, the beauty of this football trio. You have got your hands full with this one,” he indicated me with his middle finger. Asshole.
Dakota didn’t say much of anything, just nodded and turned to walk away. I obediently followed him, feeling like a mix between a whipped pussy and Big Al the Beagle. Shit, wait—I had a nice view of his ass while following him, so I was suddenly okay with being obedient. This just went to prove how flexible I could be when the need arose.
Outside, we walked side by side in silence. The quietness that always surrounded Dakota was something I continued to struggle to get accustomed to—no, didn’t want to get accustomed to. Had he just been a naturally quiet person, I think I could have accepted it, but I don’t think that’s what it is in his case. I thought he was withdrawn into himself for some reason and I wanted to be the one to make that sadness and loneliness disappear from his eyes.
Finally, he said, “You didn’t have to do that. I was okay, it’s something I’ve grown used to over the years and since I don’t expect it to change anytime soon, I may as well suck it up and accept it’s always going to be a part of my life.”
See, I had a feeling that was what he did—just shoved feelings, whether anger or happiness, into a tiny compartment and hid it away—anything to keep from showing true emotions. “Yeah, I did have to do that. Trey and his shifty minions cannot be left alone to continue to hurt and insult people. Sure, it pissed me off more than usual since it was you, but I would have stepped in regardless of who it was, Dakota. I hate bullies.”
He stopped walking and turned to look at me, really look at me. I was not sure he had ever really looked me in the eyes before. It intimidated and excited me at the same time.
“I don’t understand you, Trystan. I don’t,” he paused and then continued, “I just don’t understand.”
I frowned. “I’m pretty basic, Guppy. Primitively basic if you listen to Alex.” His piercing green eyes were both gorgeous and unnerving as he continued to study me like a lab specimen. I tried for humor. “Basic—I like food and fucking. If I get those things, I’m pretty much a happy guy.” That was so not true but the intensity on his face had me knocked off balance.
“That’s strange. You’re the one bringing me food and I’m not planning on you fucking me, so I guess I’m back to my original statement—I don’t understand you or, better yet, I don’t know what game you’re playing at.” He frowned. “What game is this, Trystan? Guys like you aren’t interested in guys like me.” He puffed out a soft laugh and added, “At least not in public domain. I may be the dirty little secret you all keep under the sheets, but that’s where I stay—under the sheets.”
“Game? Guys like me?” I asked. “I’m not getting what kind of game you’re playing, Guppy.” My hands rake through my hair in frustration. “I’m giving you every damned thing I’ve got. I flirt shamelessly. I haul my lazy ass out of bed in the dead of winter so that I can steal a few minutes with you and carry on a very one-sided conversation. Fuck, Guppy, I think about you around the clock. If you can’t see how desperately I’m interested in you, then you need to get some professional help. Come on, Dakota, give me a break here.” I felt myself getting more and more frustrated with each passing second. What the fuck? I‘d done nothing, absolutely nothing, to make him take this attitude with me. “And what the hell do you mean by ‘guys like you’. What is that, Dakota? What kind of guy am I?” My voice was loud enough to draw the attention of several people standing around us.
He gasped and took a couple of steps away from me. Instinctively I wanted to yank him back into my space and fuck him into submission, but the look of self-loathing in his green eyes froze me in my spot. It was self-loathing and something else—something that made my blood chill. He was afraid of me. I took a couple of calming breaths and whispered, “Listen, Dakota, I don’t know what you’ve been through but what you’re thinking about me? It is not right. Don’t compare me to somebody from your past. Give me an opportunity to prove myself to you before you shut us down without giving it a chance to see what it might become.”
I watched the inner struggle going on inside his head. The look of hope swirling in his eyes left me thinking I might have a chance—he might be willing to at least give me a shot to prove that I was not like whoever hurt him so badly. I also knew the minute I’d lost.
“There is no ‘us’, Trystan. Drop it and leave me alone.” As what looked like a second thought, he added, “You’re popular, Trystan—probably the most popular guy on this campus. You can have anybody you want. Don’t worry—there’s another fragile gay guy out there that you can play with.”
With that, he turned and walked away and I let him go. I let him go because if I opened my mouth at this moment, there was no telling what I might have said. I was furious. He was not fucking worth all this shit. He’d ignored me, insulted me, and all but accused me of using him just because he was gay. What did he think I was? A homophobic bisexual? That shit didn’t make any sense. Hell, my Guppy didn’t make any sense and I was tired of it. I was done.
I remembered the sadness in his beautiful eyes.
I was not done.