Elliott
As much as I’ve tried not to let it happen, Cassidy and Cameron have completely taken over my thoughts. Cameron has been using his Mum’s phone to send me texts and he’s rang me a couple of times. My heart is full right now, I don’t think can’t get any happier, but it definitely makes me wish things were different before.
My mind has steered back to my son again and I can’t get anything done, not that I have a lot to actually do but I’m trying to sort some sets out for Friday night at work.
Tapping my pen on the paper I’m using to write down my favourites, I go back to our songs in my head. Travelling back ten years, I remember the songs we loved, or Cass loved. One song that she played all the time was Careless Whisper by George Michael. I write that down as a knock comes at the door. Running down the stairs, I see a shadow through the window but can’t make out who it is. Pulling open the door, the small boy stands in front of me with a guilty look on his face.
“Hey Cam. this a nice surprise, how did you get here?” I smile but I’m a little worried has to how he got here.
“I rode my bike.”
Nodding... “Come on in.” Dropping his bike on the drive, he walks past me into the house, picking it up with a shake of my head, I lean it against the wall at the side of the house then follow him into the house, entering the living room, he’s sitting on the couch, so I take my place next to him.
“So, does your Mum know you’re here?”
“Yeah.”
He doesn’t look at me as he answers which tells me she doesn’t know.
“Cameron?”
I know I sound stern, but I need to him to understand that she should know where he is. Eyes matching mine look back at me. Guilty eyes - I can tell them a mile away because mine were like that ninety percent of the time when I was a kid.
“Does she know you’re here?”
“No.” His head shakes on a loud sigh. Taking a seat next to him on the couch, he turns his head to look at me.
“You should’ve told her. You can come here whenever you want I told you that, but you have to let your Mum know where you’re going to be. Okay?” He nods in agreement as I take my phone from my pocket. I pull up her number and click dial.
“What are you doing? Don’t tell her she’ll go mad...” Cam panics as her sweet voice comes on the line making me smile.
“Hey. Erm I’ve had a visitor.”
“Oh yeah, please don’t say it’s my mother?” she sounds stricken.
“No.” I laugh. “It’s Cameron.”
“What! How has he got there?”
I can hear the anxiety in her voice as she answers me.
“He has to cross roads to get to yours.”
“He’s on his bike. Don’t worry, let him stay for a bit I’ll bring him back later and I’ll take him out for dinner too.”
“Are you sure.”
“Cass he’s my son, of course I’m sure.”
“Okay then. Thanks, Elliott.
“You don’t have to thank me, see you later on.”
“Right then bud, what do you want to do?”
He smiles at me. My heart dissolves into mush as I realise I’m sitting here with my son. A boy that looks just like me and pretty much acts like me. God help us all.
“Do I have to go home?”
“No. Don’t worry. You can stay here for a bit.”
“Ace. Can I have a go on your guitar again?”
My whole face feels as though it’s lit up like a Christmas tree. My boy wanting the same things as me, makes me so happy.
“Of course. I’ll go fetch it.”
I come back down with my guitar, make him sit back on the couch and sit it on his legs, showing him again how to hold it and positioning his fingers.
“You could do with a child’s guitar they’re not quite so big as this one,” I mumble as I’m trying to show him.
“So, are you into music, Cam?”
“A little bit, not much.”
“And you want to learn how to play a guitar.”
“Yeah. Because then It’s something I can do with you.” Looking up at me he grins, I smile back before adds the rest, “Because honestly, what else can you do, you’re rubbish on the PlayStation.”
“Thanks a lot.”
Cam laughs. Just being here to hear him laugh makes me the luckiest man in the world.
“To be honest I’m rubbish at football too.”
“See, told ya!”
I take the guitar from his lap because I don’t want it to drop, locking his head in the crook of my arm I rub the top of his head then tickle him. He giggles wriggling his way free.
“I’m glad you came here today.”
“Me too. Is Mum going to tell me off?”
“Nah! She was fine, she was a just a bit worried about crossing the roads that’s all, but you have to tell her in future okay? Or I’ll pick you up, I don’t mind.”
“Okay.” He looks down at his fidgeting fingers, but they aren’t on the strings of the guitar; his arms are using it to lean instead.
“Are you okay?”
He attempts to nod but it’s very slight.
“You can talk to me…. if you want to that is.”
Taking a deep breath, he looks at me.
“Mum said you didn’t know about me.”
“I didn’t Cam.”
“If you had would you have come back sooner?”
“Without a doubt. The worst thing I ever did was to not sort things out with your Mum. If I’d known I had you, I would have been back like a shot. Nothing would have kept me away, even playing on stage, I promise you that. He rests his head against my arm.
“Remember when I asked if I was allowed to call you dad?”
“Yeah…”
“Can I?”
“Are you kidding? I’d love nothing more Cam.”
He looks up at me from his spot against my arm and smiles. I may be a twenty-nine-year-old man but right now I feel like crying and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I lied to myself earlier, because this moment beats every single one of my life.
Wrapping my arm around his shoulders, I hold him against me and kiss the top of his light brown short hair. Grabbing my baseball cap from the back of the settee, I place it backwards on his head now he really is my mini-me...
My boy.
“What’s happening here then?” Dale comes in smiling from work. “Hey Cam, I didn’t know you were coming over.”
“It was a surprise visit, wasn’t it bud?”
Cam nods while he concentrates on the strings.
“You know Cam you don’t have to play the guitar, there’s always drums if you really want to play an instrument. If you can tap a beat with your fingers, then you can do it with sticks.”
“Really?! His eyes widening as he asks.
“Yeah! Put the guitar down on the floor, just watch where you’re stepping, when you get up.”
Pulling the coffee table closer to us I think of a song and tap the beat to show him.
“Now listen to that beat, remember it, now you try.” Closing my eyes, I wait for him to start and apart from the tap out of sync he copied every one of them.
“Was that it?”
“Yeah you got it. Right let’s do another, a harder one,” I tell him smiling. Tapping out another beat to a The Final Countdown by Europe, just the opening beats, he listens with pure concentration then takes his turn. He gets everyone right.
“Well I think we have a budding drummer on our hands, Dale.”
“Really? You think I can do it?” Cam asks excited.
“Yes, I do.”
“I can’t wait to tell Mum.” He jumps up on down where he sits excitedly.
“Yeah, she’ll be ecstatic.” My tone sarcastic, Cass will be happy.
“Can we do another?” His eyes pleading with me. “Pleeease.”
“One more then we need to grab some food, okay?”
“Yeah alright.”
I tap another beat out a longer one and listen as he gets most of that right too. My gaze finds Dales and he’s watching him with amazement until he glances at me and smiles. I pull my son into me and hug him.
“You did amazing son.”
A huge grin spreads across his face, a proud grin and I put it there. That feeling that I did something to make my son smile makes me proud too. Now I know what I’ve been missing out on.
“Right then Bud, Maccies, KFC or Burger King? Your choice.”
“Hmmm... Maccies. Please.
“Come on then.”
Dale sits back in the chair grinning at us.
“Wait, do you think we should ask Uncle Dale?” Cameron nods.
“No, you guys go, I’ll be fine.”
“No come with us....”
“Please Uncle Dale? I want you to come too.”
Cam and I ask him at the same time, but it seems to do the trick.
“Weeelll…. since you asked so nicely, how can I say no? Let me have a quick wash and change and I’ll be down.”
“Yayyy.” Cameron cheers as his arms cling around my waist. My arms wrap around his head holding him to me my heart flooding with so much love.
We come out of McDonalds and jump back in my car. I head back to my house first.
“We’ll just drop Dale at home Cam and I’ll take you home, it’s almost eight now.”
“Okay.” A small voice answers from the back seat.
“Are you okay with that?” I ask Dale.
“Of course, I am. I don’t want to be in the same room as you two.” He smirks.
“Hey Cameron? How about one of the night’s when your Mum is at work you can stay at mine with me... would you like that?”
“Really? I’d love that. Can I stay Friday night then?”
“I’m sure we can work something out, what you say Elliott?”
“Definitely, but we’ll ask your Mum first to make sure it’s okay.”
“Yes!” My heart swells at his enthusiasm, I hope Cass is okay with it though. Today has been the best unplanned day I’ve ever had in my life. Forget playing in front of hundreds of people - today getting to know my boy, tops everything I’ve ever achieved.