Keith

 

“She wants too much, Thane,” I huff, landing another punch. “It does not matter if she physically said it or not. Her eyes told me everything I need to know. She wants more than what I can offer her.”

I have no idea what I’m going to do about the situation I find myself in now. It feels like everything is turned upside down, and I’m fighting to catch what little air I can. It’s been that way since Natalie jumped into that blasted cab last night. It felt like a piece of my soul went right along with her, as if beckoning her to come back to me. It’s hard to explain, but somehow, I feel… broken. And that’s not a feeling I’m too amorous with. The last time being all those years ago when I watched my childhood home burn to the ground from the shadows of the forest.

“Did you even try to talk things out, or did you go in balls to the wall like you always do,” he muses, jolting each time I hit the punching bag.

Breaking my stance, I straighten and wipe the seat from my brow as I lock a firm glare in his direction. “What do you think I did?”

Nodding briefly, he rolls his eyes. “Balls to the wall it is then.” Shaking his head, he steps away from the bag to retrieve his water bottle and towel. “Do you not know anything, Mr. Uptight-And-Ignorant? Women don’t like it when you come at them trying to defend your actions. They like it when your defense is shown toward the people trying to hurt them. Being with a woman isn’t an exact science.”

“Then why are you still single?” I ask, arching a brow in question.

Shrugging, he takes a sip of his water before recapping it. “Simple. I haven’t met the right woman who can put up with everything I do yet.”

“Is that still your excuse?” I scoff, dumbfounded.

Snapping the towel off his neck, I see his gaze harden on me. I know I’m pushing my luck when it comes to Thane, because he actually does care about Natalie, but damn, I need advice that isn’t put in some type of riddle he thinks is easy to solve. I need it put to me straight.

“What is this really about, Keith?” he fumes.

Well, I thought I made myself pretty clear when I first said the problem being is she wants more, and I hate repeating myself, but I will just in case he missed it the first time.

“She wants more!” I whisper-shout, flicking my arms out to my sides. “I can’t do more.”

“Is this about your past, because seriously man, it’s not that big of a deal,” he groans.

The blood running through my veins turns arctic. What the hell does he know about my past? There is only myself that knows about what went down when I was eighteen. Well, myself and the family I wronged, because I thought I was too hot to trot. But, even then, they wouldn’t say anything to anyone because that would in turn implicate them of illegal activity.

“What do you know of my past?” I hesitantly ask, feeling my legs slowly beginning to turn to rubber.

Sitting down next to him, I’m silent as I watch him inwardly debate. There’s something. I know there is. Thane isn’t the kind of man to just throw things like that out there unless he has the information to back it up. He’s not like that; never has been.

My heart drops to my stomach as his head slowly turns to me, his eyes void of any true emotion. “I know you were into peddling drugs. If that’s what you’re asking?” He gives me that little spill, but there’s something else in his eyes. It’s as if he knows more than he’s letting on.

I’m completely speechless.

“Wha—ho—huh?” I spit and sputter, trying to backtrack this conversation and backtrack it fast.

“Duh, duh, duh… How did I know about it?” he inquires, raising the towel to his head and wiping the sweat away. He’s smiling, but I see the humor doesn’t reach his eyes as he stares across the gym. “You’re not the only one that checks people out, my friend. I may be a few year’s older than Natalie, but I’m just as paranoid as you are; maybe even more. Especially, when it comes to the money I’ve worked hard for.”

And the shitty thing about it is, I still don’t know what he does for a living. Yes, he’s successful, apparently, since I’m the one overseeing his finances. However, what he does to make that money I do not know. He’s a very private person, and even me being his best friend doesn’t constitute knowledge of the personal variety when it comes to him.

What happened to Thane to make him this way? I know I’m fucked up, but with good reason. So, what’s his? Every person has a backstory, it just depends on what choices you make whether it’s completely fucked up or not.

Withdrawing into myself, his words forces my mind to go back to that night I made the biggest mistake of my life. One so big, it still follows me to this day, floating in the shadows awaiting the time it can come out to play with everything I’ve worked so hard for.

“You sure you want to do this, boys?” Cash? Nash? —or whatever the hell is name is—barks out to the me and the other six boys I’m standing next to. “Once you’re in, you’re in for life. The only way you get out is in a pine fucking box with a bullet between your eyes.”

I want freedom. I want to be able to make my own choices, to show people that I’m an adult and my choices are my own. Fuck Dad. Fuck Mom. Fuck my baby sister, and fuck my baby brother. Fuck them all. I’ll prove them all wrong. I’ll make them rue the day they ever thought to tell me I would be nothing more than a pathetic little tyrant that doesn’t live up to anything.

Nodding my head, I eye the leader. “Hell yeah! I don’t know about those fuckers, but I’m ready. What do I have to do?”

Being only sixteen at the time, I know the whole world is at my feet. I can be who I want to be, make my own choices, because that’s what men do. And I’m a motherfucking man. It’s time to go big or go home.

Coming to a stop in front of me, he eyes me skeptically. “What’s your name, boy?”

Swallowing hard, I reply, “Luca McKayne, Uh—” 

“The name is Cash, but you’ll address me as sir, boy.” The leader chuckles menacingly. “Or you’ll be the first to go.”

I barely refrain from trembling from his soulless gaze, his eyes being blacker than night as they trail up and down my body.

“Yes, Sir,” I mimic his earlier words, never once taking my eyes from him.

Giving me another maniacal smile, he steps forward. I dare not show my fear of him. I may be a man, but I can see danger as clear as day and know when to keep my mouth shut. “Then let’s play, bitch boy.”

And play we did.

Blinking rapidly, I shake my head once before turning my eyes on Thane. Seeing his have taken on a worrisome gaze, I smile briefly. “Where did you go just now?”

Shaking off the unsettling feeling I got from my flashback, I stand up to my feet. It’s time to get back to the callous, cold persona I’ve perfected over the years. “It is nothing, I assure you. But, I do need to get up to the office. Lunch?” I ask, eyeing him.

He silently stares up at me, as if to tell me this conversation isn’t over. I beg to differ. He may know some of the things that happened in my past, but I’m just like him in that fact, he’s not going to get the details. The information he spouted is public record, but the other stuff is something I had buried when I made my first million as a financial advisor. Even if no one is supposed to know, even I know nothing is buried so far people can’t find it if they’re really looking; no matter how much money you pad the politician’s pockets. Your record can always be retrieved. If there have been no changes in your identity. And I made sure to cover every track I left behind when I was eighteen. That’s what worries me in this moment. How did Thane get my information if he doesn’t know my true name?

Luca McKayne died in that fire for all intents and purposes, which is why I’ve been as lucky as I have been to fly under the radar when it comes to those people. But, with the way Thane is looking at me right now, I’m not going to be hidden for much longer if he keeps searching for shit. I should be angry, but every person has a right to know the logistics if the person in question is handling their multi-million dollar account.

“Keith,” he says my name in warning. “You can run all you like, but I will find out what this is all about. Just remember, I’m your closest ally and it would be a pity for me to learn about this on my own instead of from you. Trust me, I have my ways of getting the information I’m seeking.”

I have no doubt about that. If anything, Thane is a persistent little shit that reminds me so much of myself when I was his age. And that makes me just a little hesitant of just what lengths he’s willing to go, and what resources he’s willing to use, to get the information I’m withholding. Because no one needs this shit on their conscience, and I know Thane would do everything in his power to make it right and get himself killed in the process. That’s not something I’m willing to do. Why does he think I’ve kept my circle small? I didn’t do that shit on purpose. I knew, one day, that I’d have to disappear again. And the less people I’m close with, the better.