Keith

 

The moment I unlocked my phone and contacted Thane to ‘unmask’ the messages between Natalie and myself, I was furious with every message I read. My blood instantly began boiling in my veins as my hand nearly crushed the pathetic piece of technology holding all those blasphemous messages.

Out of all the things Natalie could do, she would find a way to piss me off worse than anyone alive. And the fact of the matter is, until now, her messages wouldn’t have upset me. I would have written her off, along with all the others that tried the very thing she’s going, and went about my business. I don’t have time for people that want to moan and groan about every little thing.

But the fact she sent that, it infuriates me to no end.

How dare she send me something like that, then at the end, give me an ultimatum. Who the hell does she think she is? What are we? Five? I am not one of her little boys that will run around with his tail tucked between his legs for fear of setting the missus off. I am a man that doesn’t give a good goddamn about what she likes and doesn’t like, and she will do well to remember that. I don’t roll over for anyone, much less a woman. And it shouldn’t matter if she’s the star in my every thought, and the person that plays in most of my dreams.

It’s simple. I give no shit, and take nothing in return. You would think she got that by now, being that she’s been in my employ for upwards to a month now.

I don’t need her shit tacked onto the fact that Cash now knows who I am—if he hasn’t all along—and what I’ve been doing with my life since I jumped ship, taking a butt load of his hard-earned money with me. Knowing Cash, he’s going to demand repentance for the things I caused him to lose out on. If anything, he will demand the sum, plus interest for his hardship, and that’s if he takes it lightly. He’s been known, in the past, to take a few digits as well, and I’m not talking phone numbers. He’s balls to the wall just like I am. Hell, how do you think I learned to be as cut-throat as I am now? It certainly wasn’t by my parent’s doing.

Things begin tumbling through my mind at a feverish pace, causing me to anxiously bounce my knee up and down. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, I just can’t push what his cryptic note said behind me. It’s like this reaper digging its claws into my back, daring me to shake him off—daring me not to take him seriously. I know I will not be able to, though. No matter how hard I try, it will always stay with me until I make it right. At least, that’s how it’s been for the last few years. I’ve constantly had to look over my shoulder, fearing that today was the day he would catch up with me. I’ve spent the better part of my life on the run, changing everything about me, and that still didn’t make a difference. Cash still found me. Now I have to play the waiting game.

Not being able to sit still any longer, I push myself out of my seat. Staring out of the floor to ceiling windows, I see the bright mid-day sun bear down on all of New York. The city I’ve come to call home for many years. I watch silently as people meander through the streets, seemingly with no care in the world. They’re free to come and go as they please, not considering their past actions and what they do in hurting those around them. I long to be as free as they all appear to be. I wish the actions from my past didn’t continue to haunt me even to this day.

My chest tightens at the thought of finally being free just as all those people are. Their faces all lined with bright smiles as they have a chipper outlook on life. What I wouldn’t give to be able to walk around without a care in the world. To be able to open myself to the thought of love without having to look over my shoulder or fear that someone is going to take what I value most away after I’ve worked so hard to achieve it.

With a huff, I break eye contact with the outside world and retreat into myself. It’s the safest option, really. Because if it’s just me, no one else can get hurt. I can stew in my own careless actions, wishing I had done things differently. Isn’t that how it always goes? You think or do certain things, wishing they can be different. But, once they are, you long to return it to what it was previously.

The sound of heated whispers and a crashing noise hits my ears within the next moment, just before a scuffling sounds and more heated whispers from the door. What the hell?

Rounding my desk, I start making my way to the door. It can only be one person coming to see me, and that person shouldn’t have anyone with them. I have a few bones to pick with her, and it would be much better without the attention of an audience. Once I pull it open, I’m met with a sight that causes all the other problems to float away. I’m still pissed, but not, I have to fight to help her.

It is, in fact, Natalie coming to see me, but she’s not alone. And dare I say it, she probably wishes she was alone in a time like this. Natalie is with some woman I don’t know, and said woman is picking Natalie up off the floor with a broken heel hanging from her delicate fingers.

“You just going to stand there, asshole?” The woman spits, causing me to break eye contact with Natalie to her as she glares daggers at me.

It may be an asshole move, but I just stand there. “Is that how you greet people you do not know? If so, I see where Ms. Bennett gets it.”

I stand there silent, watching them struggle to get her up out of the floor. I don’t want to come out and say the reason I can’t help is because I’d be touching her and I wouldn’t be held reliable for my actions. When it comes to Natalie, no matter how pissed I am, just the feel of her luscious curves under my fingers drives me insane. I lust after her as I never have anyone else before, and I can’t fathom why. She’s ordinary to say the least. Her blonde hair is something a famous salon can give women for the right amount of money, and her body is something a few trips to the gym can fix as well. Not to sound like a douchebag, but I’ve had better. I’ve had fucking models!

But, the fact that at one point in time she was involved with my brother puts her on the do-not-fuck list.

So, instead, I turn on the dick side of me—channeling the fury I feel toward those messages she sent me, and what she implied she was going to do if I do not ‘grow up and take what I want.’

“Do try not to waste my time, Ms. Bennett, and make sure to send your friend on her way.” I briskly utter, turning my back to them.

I hear her grumble a goodbye, then the door of my office slam; the artwork lining the walls shaking from the force.

“What the hell is this all about, Mr. Shaw?” she seethes.

She really doesn’t want to come at me like that. Not with the way I’m feeling right now. “Take a seat.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” she replies, and I imagine her gazes burning a hole into the back of my neatly trimmed head. “Now tell me what the heck I’m doing back at work.”

“I said, Ms. Bennett, to take a seat.” I warn, my voice lacking its usual warmth.

I hear her softly growl, but thankfully, she says nothing else as I hear her sashay across the floor to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of my desk. I stand facing away from her as I try to gain control of the emotions roaring through me. I need to gain control over my actions before I start this line of questioning. Because if I don’t, I’m afraid I’ll turn her body against her to get the answer I want, and even then, they may not be correct. When it comes to Natalie, she’s liable to spit out anything if she thinks she’s going to get pleasure out of it.

Whereas moments before, I was near the verge of showing my sympathy card, I’m now on the verge of throttling her for making me feel things I don’t want to feel. To make me see things a different way; those messages being the culprit. Just the thought of my younger brother touching what’s mine, but I will never again be able to touch, causes an insane amount of jealousy to attack me. It’s always been like that with Natalie. I can be cool, calm, and collected one minute, then the next, I’ve lost my ever-loving mind. This broad, wherever the hell she came from, is seriously messing with my equilibrium.

“Now,” I start, never once looking back at her. “You will first explain to me about the horrific text messages you dared send to my phone earlier this morning.”

Cue gasp. She quickly covers it up by clearing her throat, but not before I can hear.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Oh, please.

“I am only going to ask you this one more time,” I force out coolly, turning to meet her eyes. “Who the hell do you think you are giving me an ultimatum?”

I want to shout at her that she’s messing with my family. It doesn’t matter if I didn’t know about said family member until now. That’s beside the point. The fact is, she’s been with both myself and Jake, and just knowing my brother has gotten to see her at her most vulnerable, makes me completely livid. No man, besides me, should ever see Natalie in that type of state. And it fucking sucks that I never will again. No matter how much I want to bend her to my will, it will never come to be. She’s been with my fucking brother for Christ sakes! That’s morbidly wrong on so many levels.

“I was—”

“You were trying to make me jealous!” I boom, watching her jerk in surprise. “Do you think your petty high school games are going to help in your endeavor to brow-beat me into submission?” When she says nothing, just sits there twisting her hands in her lap like a scared little cat, it pushes me over the edge. “Answer me, Ms. Bennett! Now!” I thunder, pushing my chair out of the way with a quick flick of my wrists in order to lean over my desk.

If I don’t keep something between us right now, I will forget myself. I know I will. There are very few people that push my button so extensively.

“I thought it would help, yes,” she meekly replies.

I’m so beyond pissed I don’t know whether to take her over my knee, or fire her ass. She’s a terrific assistant, but I will not put up with childish behavior because she doesn’t get something she wants. I put up with that enough by the woman I saw in the past—Jennifer included among the bunch. I’m tired of the women around me thinking they can force me into something. There are things Natalie will never fully understand, no matter how many times I try to explain them to her.

Just then, an idea hits me. It may not be the best one to date, but it will be one to get her off my back. Maybe I should explain to her why we can never be anything other than professional with one another. We had a shot before Jakes little visit if I dealt with Cash on my own, but now, since he came to me and let me know who he is, I can see that Natalie and I will never be together—not even strictly physical. Because every time I see her, I’ll see the brother I lost all those years ago. The one that went down the same path as me, and is still living it today. I need to let the facts of the situation do the job for me and scare her off. Maybe then, I won’t feel guilt—if that’s what you call this gut clenching feeling.

Schooling my expression, I pull my chair back to the desk. Taking a seat with a huff, I eye her. “You have been saying forever that you want in, right? That it would make you know me better, correct?”

I watch as she inches her way to the end of the seat. Her eyes are lit with excitement by being able to see—even if it’s the barest of glimpses—into why I am the way I am. She’s probably going to hate me after this. Resign or do something, but she’s right, she needs to know. She may not fully understand it, like I said before, but she will finally get why her and I cannot be together—even if this isn’t the initial reason why I was withdrawing before.

“Yes, that’s all I want,” she answers.

“Natalie, there are things about me that no one knows—not even Thane.” I lie, because it’s clear he knows more that he hasn’t let me in one. “But, I want to explain a few to you so you will get off my back. You know Jake, correct?”

Her eyes scrunch up in confusion as she briefly nods her head yes. “I do, yes. What does he have to do with us?”

Holding up my hand to stop her, I quickly bring them to the bridge of my nose and pinch, hoping the headache that’s threatening to overtake me dissipates.

“I’m just going to come out and say it, because there is no other way to break something like this. Trust me, I didn’t know this until today; otherwise, I would have stayed away from you and got him the help he needed.” I babble, trying to stall for some time. I know it’s a lost cause, but I can’t help it. Just as soon as she hears the tip of the secrets I’m keeping from her, she’ll run.

“You’re scaring me, Keith,” she retorts, her tone causing my eyes to meet hers.

I can do nothing but stare at her, seeing the openness in her gaze, but also seeing a bit of doubt creeping in. I don’t know how she’s going to take this. If she’s anything like me, she’ll flip. I know I did when I found out and pieced it together. Because the mere thought of never again being about to have her in my arms, or to have her lips pressed against mine is almost too much to take. But, I have to do this. Even if it means I’m destroying any chances of there being an us in the process.

“Name’s not Keith, Sugar, it’s Luca” I reply with a hint of a smile, giving up my guise of a pristine business man, as I slip into my former mannerism. Staring into her golden orbs, I see the horror residing within as she starts to piece it all together. So, I add, “And Jake … he’s my younger brother.”