Keith
“Have you seen my phone?” I ask Thane as I dig through my desk.
Things between him and I have been off since earlier this morning, but he showed up anyway when it came time for lunch. And I need to get a few things off my chest when it comes to us, and the little tease that’s residing in her office icing me out. Ever since she came in this morning with that ridiculous display of sleuth, I’ve been simmering in anger. How she thought she’d get past me is beside me. Not much gets past me if I make it a point to become involved. And as much as I hate it, I’m involved—whole heartedly.
“No, ass wipe. I don’t make it impertinent to keep up with your things,” he responds as despondent as I’ve ever heard him.
“A simple no would suffice, Thane.” I grind out.
Turning a glare in his direction, I see him sitting in a seat on the other side of the desk, narrowing his eyes in my direction as he rests one leg over the other. I can tell something is on his mind, but to be honest, I don’t know if I want to know what particular thing is. There’s been enough of my past that’s been drudged up to the surface, and I don’t need any more coming into the light. Yes, Thane has been my one friend for the past five years, but that doesn’t mean he needs any information that can implicate me.
“Where did you leave it?” he asks, his monotone voice grating on my nerves.
“I had it with me down in the gym earlier, I think, and I could have sworn I brought it up here with me when I left,” I explain, tearing through my desk again.
“You didn’t bring a cell phone up here with you, Keith. I watched you walk out the door and come straight up here. The only thing you had was a water bottle and a towel.”
Shit!
“Fuck,” I groan. “I can’t let someone find that phone, Thane. It will put Ms. Bennett and myself in hot fucking water. For me it will be a written warning, but for her, they will fire her!”
“If you wouldn’t sext, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”
He rolls his eyes as he snaps to his feet, digging for his phone. Or, should I say, a phone, because the one he pulls out isn’t his, not by a long shot. This is one sleek, made of mostly some type of black coated metal. I’d bet with everything I have that it’s waterproof, explosion proof—pretty much end of the world proof. With a few buttons pushed, his chilled emerald eyes glare at me as he puts it to his ear.
“Yes, this is Alpha-zero-zero-seven-six-nine,” he says completely fucking my world right up.
What the hell is he talking about? Alpha? Did he just reference James Bond and a sexual position in the same sentence? Who the fuck is this guy?
“Yes, I need you to mask text messages between these two numbers. 718-556-7239 and 718-556-8968. No,” he replies, his eyes never once leaving mine. “I do not want them deleted; just masked until you receive another phone call from me, is that clear? Now get it done,” he finishes in a clipped tone.
I’m still staring at him like he’s grown a second head during that conversation. When he repockets his phone, straightening the front of his black Armani suit and finishes by resituating his cuffs, I’m still not able to look away. It’s like I’m physically incapable of speech, and that’s never happened to me before. I’ve always been able to say what’s on my mind, when it’s on my mind to say it. But damn. I have no clue where to begin. There’s so many things this entire ordeal that intrigue me.
Who the fuck took over Thane’s body? Who the hell was that on the phone? And what the fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck have I gotten myself into by being his friend?
“Are you finished thought fucking me, Keith?” he asks, seeing right through me.
“I have no words.” I say, putting my fingers next to my mouth and then arching my hand away while spreading my fingers out. “Seriously, blah.”
Thane chuckles, but the hilarity doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Very proper of you, I must say. But, it doesn’t escape the fact I just saved your ass, and now I want payment in return.”
“Payment?”
Letting out a belt of laughter at my nervousness, his head marginally falls back on his shoulders as he gives a fleeting glance toward the ceiling before settling his eyes on me once more. I guess the devil really does wear Armani.
“Yes, payment. I did something for you, now you’re going to fess up to what that shit was about this morning. So, buck up, buttercup, because you’re about to sing like a canary.”
At this point in time, I’m fighting to keep my expression stoic. Because, it doesn’t matter what I thought in the past about this man. Thane Daniels is now at the top of my list of people never to piss off. Ever. If he can accomplish so much with a mere phone call, I wonder what he can do if he bat’s his eyelashes at you. Hell, he can probably decapitate a person with a fucking sneeze.
“You know, I’ll never admit this to anyone else… but, this James Bondish shit you have going on—it’s a little intimidating to say the least,” I fumble with my words, because for the first time in my life I fear taking my eyes off a man.
Rounding the desk, I call out to Natalie. “I am going to lunch! I will be back in an hour! I am leaving with Thane Daniels!” I make it a point to tell her how long I’m going to be gone and who I’m going with. At this point in time, something about Thane just oozes not to trust him. I mean, he’s never done anything to me since I’ve known him, but that doesn’t mean he never will. It could possibly mean he hasn’t found the right time to drop the ax on my neck.
“I don’t care, Mr. Shaw. I’m not your ball and chain, remember?” she says with a bit of fire in her voice that has me inwardly wincing.
Shaking my head, I debate on whether trying to talk this out with her or just leaving. I know there’s a lot of things we haven’t gotten to discuss, but I just don’t know when the right time will be to bring all of that up. Is anytime a good time? Her distancing herself from me, hurts. It feels like a hot poker being pressed to the organ beating in my chest. But, for the love of fuck, nothing will be able to change.
I. Cannot. Love. Her.
Love is a weakness no one can afford.
You may say I have a defect, or that I’m just a scared little bitch boy who’s afraid to take risks. Well, I assure you I’m not. I’m not scared to take risks with most things in life. In other words, as long as it doesn’t involve giving my heart to another, I’m good. Now that is something I refuse to budge on. I refuse to give whatever’s left of it to Natalie. She will use me just like that bitch, Jennifer, did. She’ll be all buddy-buddy with me, then she will make me fall in love with her. Once I get settled in, thinking my life can get no better, she will show her true side. And just thinking about Natalie’s deceiving me already has me on the verge of exploding.
I know for a fact, if I take that next step, I won’t be able to get over Natalie. I feel things with her I’ve never felt before. She makes me feel refreshed, not like the stuffy business suit I portray daily. Natalie Bennett actually sees me for me, and she wants me anyway. If only her and I were introduced sooner. Maybe I would have been able to give this thing between her and I a proper chance. But fuck if I can’t let go of the past. It’s like it’s a taunting drifter in the shadows, only rearing its ugly head when I start getting comfortable; when I begin to reciprocate the feelings that have been lost to me for most of my life. It wants to wreck everything good in my life.
“She really hates you, doesn’t she?” he inquires.
“You have no idea, Thane. At this point, I think she would rather deep fry my balls than fondle them.”
Sighing, I gesture for Thane to exit the door before me. I don’t miss the snide smirk he tosses my way, but can’t bring myself to care. It feels like I’m already going in a thousand different directions. It’s as if he knows shit’s getting to me, and he’s loving every fucking second of it. And he would be true in thinking that. Everything is getting to me, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. It’s like a noose being tightened around your neck. You can feel your lungs burn from the restriction of oxygen, but you cannot stop yourself from gasping for each tiny breath.