Our cabin in Aspen never changes. I expect it to, but it doesn’t. It’s just north of Cripple Creek, and it’s damn cold but the snow is soothing somehow. My mom designed the cabin, of course. Her style is everywhere. It’s one level with five bedrooms, but only the master has its own bathroom.

Lori is in the room next to mine. We got there at night, it wasn’t the plan but dad had to consult with a ‘dimwit client.’ His words, not mine. My parents went out into the city to get some things for the cabin. That left Lori and I alone. We had been alone here multiple times, but last year I didn’t feel like this. It wasn’t this bad.

“Lori?” I knocked on her door. I didn’t want a repeat of last time. Well, I did but I couldn’t handle that again.

“Come in.”

I did. She was laying on her stomach reading one of the books I got her.

“Which one you got?” I asked casually. She shifted up to look at me, her sweater moved up her stomach, exposing the dimples on her lower back. My mouth watered until I could tear my gaze away.

“Private India. It’s one of the newer ones.” I sat next to her, watching her read. She didn’t notice I was staring at her.

“Are you okay?” She wore a permanent frown; one she never wears when she reads.

“I’m fine.” Her voice was dry. I grabbed her book from her and set it on the table.

“Hey!” she tried to reach for it but I gripped her wrist. She tried with the other but I grabbed that one too. her wrists were small, my fingers overlapped.

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong.” She shrieked, trying to wiggle free of my grasp.

“Don’t make me tickle it out of you, Cheesecake…” I warned. She frowned, giving me a ‘you wouldn’t dare’ look.

“Your choice.” I grabbed both her wrists in one hand and moved so that she was between my knees.

I tickled her stomach until she was shrieking. Usually it’s the only way to get answers.

“Okay, okay…” I stopped, “I can’t afford my internship.” I furrowed my brow in confusion. I dropped her hands, she rubbed her face in frustration. I still stood above her on my knees, deftly I noticed the swell of her breasts over the top of her sweater.

“That doesn’t make any sense.” She sighed, looking up through her lashes with her big blue eyes.

“I have to find a place to live. I just don’t have the money for a down payment and first month’s rent. Which is what they ask for.” I shook my head. Holding her gaze for a moment then I had to start laughing.

“What is funny?” She scowled. I shook my head.

“Your internship is in Clemson and I live in Clemson, Cheesecake.” I grinned. Her mouth turned up, she wasn’t getting it.

“So?”

“So, you can live with me dumbass. My apartment is what, like ten minutes from downtown?” Her eyes widened in shock. She smiled a bit but then her face went cold.

“I can’t make you do that. You have school.” I shook my head.

“So? That just means I’ll be in class most of the time. Besides, I need someone to cook for me.”

“God, you’re annoying.”

“True. Say you’ll do it.”

I didn’t know what I was doing. Could I live with her? I didn’t care if I could, I wanted—needed to help her. I could get past my raging hard ons, right?

“I don’t know…”

“Lorraine.” I threatened to tickle her again.

“I’ll tickle you into submission.” She flushed. I thought it was cute, how damn ticklish she was.

“I just don’t know…” I shrugged and started tickling her.

She laughed aloud and tried to push me away, but I was too strong. She took me by surprise and rolled us over. Then the world seemed to stop. She was on top of me. She has never been on top of me before. I felt her breasts pillowing against my chest, then I felt her crotch right on top of mine. I forced myself not to move, I begged myself. But she was right there, and I was so weak. I shifted my hips, my now extremely hard cock pressed against her. She gasped, but she didn’t move. She didn’t move. Our eyes met and I saw the desire in hers and felt it in mine. My gaze traveled down to her lips, her soft kissable lips. I started to breath faster, trying to control myself. To do anything but grab her hips and rub her against me until I got off.

“S-say you’ll move in with me. Just for your internship.” I finally spoke. My voice was heavy, masked with desire.

“Okay. I’ll move in with you…just for my internship.” I nodded and smiled a bit.

I sighed when disappointment when she shifted off of me, more so that she was sitting over my thighs. Her eyes were on mine, then her eyes were traveling lower, lower. Shit.

“Oh…” her eyes were on my erection, very obvious in my sweat pants.

“Sorry. Can’t help it.” She blushed until she was red from her face all the way to her neck. I wanted to kiss every inch of her blush.

She was staring at it like she had never seen one before. But then I thought…she probably hadn’t. Then I said something completely normal for me, that had nothing to do with secretly being in love with her.

“You just gonna’ stare at it or you wanna’ suck me off?” She punched me right in the gut and got off of me.

“God Dillon, you’re such a…” she fumbled with her book, fingers shaking. She laid back on the other side of the bed with a huff.

“Horny jerk?” I rolled onto my side and propped my head up on my elbow.

“Yes.” She started reading again. But she was still distracted, kept sneaking glances at it. It was kind of cute, that she didn’t really know what to do.

“Shouldn’t you go…take care of that?” She mumbled. I laughed a bit.

“It will go away on its own. Don’t worry.” I smiled sheepishly. I had to admit that I was eating it up, making her uncomfortable and all. So I couldn’t help it.

“You can’t tell me you’ve never seen one before. Or felt one.” I teased her. she sighed, shut her book and looked up at the ceiling. Still blushing.

“No.” She barely whispered.

“No what?” I pretended to be dumbfounded.

“No, I’ve never…felt or seen one. Maybe in anatomy books back in high school.”

“But you write about them.”

“Yeah, based off of what I’ve read.”

“Then you’re probably getting it wrong…so when you’re making out with a guy doesn’t he ever get hard?” She covered her face with her hands.

“No. God, why are you asking me this?” I grabbed her hand and pulled it away from her face.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed. It’s not a bad thing.”

“I’m not! I just don’t want to talk about it with you.” She shouted.

“Why? Because you just felt mine?” She shook her head.

“No, I just…don’t want to keep feeling like this.” She huffed and sat up, crossing her arms.

“Like what?” I asked, a little more serious now because she seemed really bothered.

“Like I’m missing out on something. I know it may be stupid, but it’s just how I feel.” I sat up and looked at her, though she was avoiding my gaze.

“It isn’t stupid. Never discredit your feelings, and don’t let anyone else do it either. Lori, look at me,” she did, “you get me?” She nodded slowly.

“Good. I would hug you but my cock might scare you again.” She fumed and punched my arm. It hurt, too.

“Sorry, I’m done now. I swear.”

She went back to reading for a second, I just sat on the bed messing with my phone.

“Dillon, can I ask you something?”

“You just did but you can ask me another one.” I felt her irritation but turned to face her.

She sat Indian style across from me. She toyed with her fingers nervously.

“You’ve got to stop being so…prudish, Cheesecake.” She met my gaze, her eyes fleeting.

“I’m not being prudish. I thought I was…making you uncomfortable. You’re blushing.” I laughed a bit, though my face didn’t feel hot at all.

“I’m flushed because my hard on is coming down.” I said blankly. Her eyes widened and she blinked rapidly.

“Oh.” She nearly squeaked. I laughed again.”

“You okay now?” She nodded, laid back down and started reading again.

While she was reading I started looking at the medical schools I got into. Then I thought of dad again, and what he could possibly do to stop me. Even if he cuts me off or something, I can use financial aid, get a job.

It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Lori worked two jobs to pay for school and still has loans to pay off, that’s why this internship is so important to her. It can get her in the industry, get her some connections. I had to help her, right?

The rest of our trip was really relaxing. I didn’t fight with my dad, and I teased Lori mercilessly about her new fear of sex. She thought I didn’t see it, but she was growing more and more interested in it. I didn’t know why, but I guess I understood. Everyone our age was just like me or getting married, or at least in some sort of relationship.

Lori wasn’t avoiding a relationship; she just went about it the wrong way. I was always on the receiving end of the failures, so I know. It’s not that she gets too attached, she just picks people who don’t want to get attached and thinks she can change them, like the people in the books she reads. Even if I tell her I love her, as more than a friend, she’ll either feel the same and try to change me, or not feel the same and still try to change me—change how I feel. I wasn’t prepared for either.