Sitting through a ceremony where two people declare their love for each other was harder than I thought it would be. I assumed it would just be awkward being around Lori because of what happened…but no.

It was unbearable.

Anytime the word ‘love’ was said or anything relating to loving someone, I looked right at her and she looked away. Either that or I would avoid looking at her entirely. I almost took my mind off it with alcohol last night—at Ryan’s bachelor party.

It was pitiful, don’t ask.

But that didn’t work. I didn’t want to show up hung over. Carrie didn’t do anything to me and she didn’t deserve that. So, there I was at the altar with Ryan, watching the love radiate between them. I used to deny love—pretend it didn’t exist because it was easier but it really isn’t. Especially not now that I’ve told Lori. It’s out there. It’s real. And it fucking sucks.

“Dillon! Come get in the picture!” Carrie shouted from across the field.

Their ceremony was in the Florence Civic Center. Pretty much anything of importance in this little town happened here. It wasn’t far from where we lived but Ryan and Carrie booked rooms for a select few guests for one night. Which I was about to go to before she lured me over to the open field.

Their theme was white and purple—I think. Everything was either white or purple. Even the flowers. Whatever kind of flowers they are.

“Stand next to Lori.” I groaned internally.

Lori exchanged a glance with me. It might have been the first time she looked at me since the other day in my bed room. Even on the ride here. We didn’t speak to each other.

“Sure.” I stood behind Lori in the prom-style line. She stiffened when I brushed against her, I assumed it was just out of shock, I had to for my sanity.

Getting this close to her was harder than I thought it would be. From afar she looked beautiful, of course—always. But now, inches from her…goodness. Her dress was strapless and long, but the skin it exposed at her chest was enough for me. Every breath she took made her breasts strain against the sweetheart neckline. I only know these things because we used to watch Fashion Police together. The burnt orange color would look like prison on anyone else but on her, it matched her skin perfectly. Like the Clemson t-shirt she always wears. Her hair was tied up in a bun with wisps of hair framing her face, giving me a perfect view of her creamy neck.

“Can everyone get in closer!” The photographer must hate me. I stepped closer just a bit and heard Lori gasp. She glanced at me quickly but then faced back forward.

“Sorry.” I muttered.

I gently placed my hands on her waist and smiled like nothing was wrong. The photographer had us in all different kinds of positions—I swear he had us out there for twenty minutes before I snuck off. To the bar.

“Scotch. Neat, please.” The bartender gave me a look but filled my glass.

I downed it and dropped it on the table. I exhaled with a heavy sigh and rubbed my face. Somehow, I was exhausted and the day wasn’t even over yet. I guess a broken heart does that. Funny how I’ve avoided this my entire life and it all came crashing down with one sentence from my best friend.

“You look beat, son.” A heavy hand hit my shoulder. Theo.

“Oh, no I’m just…pretty tired.” I smiled softly. He grinned. He never grins. Must be because he just gave his daughter away. Proud moment for a father, I guess.

“Yeah, I understand. Weddings’ll do that to you.” He got a Jack and coke from the bartender.

“How is Lori doing up there? I feel like she doesn’t tell me the truth.” My jaw clenched at the sound of her name, but I had to play it cool. He picks up on things easily.

“She’s really good. Her boss has her reading a new manuscript every day. She’s…really happy.” Before two months ago, that was completely true. I don’t even know if she was particularly unhappy about what happened. I know I was.

“That’s good. I’m glad. I’m just a little worried about this New York thing…the city is ruthless.” He chuckled a bit but I was completely lost. His steel blue eyes stared back at me. “She didn’t tell you? The job with Simon and…shmuck? Shelly? I don’t know. Some big company up there.”

“Simon and Schuster. Yeah. That.” I lied. He smiled proudly again.

“I know it’s a big deal. I’m happy for her. Just wish she wasn’t going to be alone.” He rubbed his neck and shifted in his black tuxedo. He’s never this dressed up.

“Yeah. Me too.” I played along but I was hung on the fact she hadn’t told me. How long did she know? Then I remembered I hadn’t spoken to the girl in over two months. Shit. I’m usually the first person she tells her good news to. I felt it then. In the back of my head and in my heart—being her best friend, her person; is more important than anything else to me.

“Sure, you can’t go to NYU instead?” He joked. I shrugged it off. Was I even sure? “Congratulations on USC though.” I nodded.

“Thank you.” He clapped my shoulder again and walked off.

I watched him hug Carrie and lead her to the dance floor. Everyone made way for the father daughter dance. I felt her eyes on my before I saw her. Lori was staring at me. When she saw my eyes meet hers she smiled a bit. I couldn’t return it. God knows I wanted to get over this…resentment I was carrying but I couldn’t. It hurt too much. I just wanted a chance. I deserve at least that, right?

The acting was eating me alive. When Carrie finished her dance, I congratulated her before taking my silent leave. Well, I tried to.

“Dillon!” Jeez, Ma.

“Hey, Ma.” I turned at the elevators.

“You’re leaving?” she smoothed out her salmon colored dress and shot me a concerned look.

“Yeah I…I’m just really tired.” Her brows knitted with concern. I smiled to reassure her. “I’m fine, ma. I’ll meet you for breakfast tomorrow, yeah?” I clicked the up button. She nodded.

“Okay.” She reached up and kissed my cheek before walking off.

I entered the elevator and rode up to the top floor. It stopped a few floors up. The doors opened to a cute girl—maybe my age or a year younger. She saw me and giggled softly before stepping in. She pointed to her cheek and then I knew.

“Oh. My mom.” I explained. She laughed a bit more.

“That’s sweet…is something going on today? I’ve seen so many people dressed like you…but you look the best.” She batted her eyelashes and puffed out her chest. On any other day, I’d get her in my hotel room. Not today.

“My best friend’s sister got married. I was one of the groomsmen.” She nodded in understanding. She looked like she was going to the pool; shorts, tank top, flip flops. She was the definition of pretty blonde but all I saw when I looked at her was everything she was missing—everything that Lori has. Fuck. I can’t even fuck the heart ache out of me.

“I’ll see you around!” She called after me as I exited the elevator. I offered her my best smile so she would have at least something to tell her friends.

I found my room and immediately stripped off my jacket and tie and loosened my shirt. I was too tired for anything else. I collapsed on the bed and started surfing channels. The setting sun was the perfect addition to my somber mood.

Lori didn’t tell me about her job. That’s tough shit. Is this worth losing her? Is not having her really worth never being the same with her again? I hated to admit it—it made the last two months useless. But I was leaning towards a no.

About three hours into my disappearing act I hear a jostling at the door. I was too tired to get up. They’ll go away. Then the door opened. Did I give anyone a key? I don’t think so. So…I’m about to die.

I thought so.

I heard the footsteps and figured out who it was before I looked up. Lori stood in the archway between the little living room and the bedroom. I wanted to say something but I was at a loss for words. Why didn’t you tell me about New York? Did you change your mind? Can you love me, please?

None of those are very flattering.

She wasn’t saying anything either. Then I noticed it. Cheesecake caught the bouquet. She set it on the table and then stared back at me. I tried to read her eyes for a hint, or something. But I came up short. Her big blue eyes held so much mystery. I couldn’t guess.

“Lori…how did you get in here?” I asked her. She didn’t answer.

She held my gaze and she walked towards me. She stopped at the side of the bed and took off her heels, losing about two inches. What’s she doing? She was biting her lip so hard it turned white.

“Lorraine…,” now I was confused.

She hitched her leg over the bed and straddled me. She had hiked her dress all the way up to her hips, exposing her fleshy thighs. Her heated sex was right above my cock—not very comfortable at all.

“I can’t do this with you…not after…,” her finger pressed against my lips. When she was sure I wasn’t saying anything else she leaned in to kiss me.

Just before her lips found mine I turned away and they touched my cheek instead. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I have to resist her. I have to. Or else it will be too hard.

“I can’t Lori—I’ve told you what I want. Casual sex isn’t it.” I whispered.

I turned to face her. We were inches apart, her forehead against mine. I inhaled her scent and realized how much I fucking missed her. The way her body is against mine right now…it’s too much. I’m not that strong.

She cupped my face in her small hands and forced me to look at her.

“I want you.” It was barely a whisper from her. I shook my head.

“There’s a difference between wanting me and wanting to be with me.” I replied.

“I know.”

“You don’t know if you want to be with me.” I stated. She nodded slowly. I let out a shaky breath.

“I know…that I should have given you the chance before—and I know I want this.” She ground her hips into me and that was it. I’m a man. I’m weak. I was finished.

When she leaned in to kiss me again I didn’t protest. Her lips were soft against mine. Hesitant and sweet. I let her lead for a second before I parted my lips and took her bottom lip between mine. She sighed when I sucked softly and deepened the kiss.

My hands went to her thighs, dragging them up slowly until I reached her ass. I grabbed onto her and pulled her closer to me until she was flush against my body. Her fingers shook as they undid my buttons. I surrendered to the perfect feeling of her hands against my skin, appreciating each hard line of my body until she reached my shoulders and shucked off my shirt.

My hands went back to her dress and found the zipper on the side. I teased the skin on her chest, dragging my fingertips over the swell of her breasts until she shuddered against my lips. I kissed my way down her neck, over her skin—really appreciating every inch of her body.

I slid off her dress slowly, revealing a black lace bra. My breath caught at the sight of her—so, so perfect. I trailed my hands across her chest and back down her body. I lifted her up easily and slid off her dress.

“Dillon, I want it like the first time.” Her voice was sure. The surest I have ever heard of it.

“Sure, Cheesecake.”

When she kissed me again all my anger, frustration, pain…it all faded away. I love her too much to hold onto any of that. Her lips were soft against mine and timid—her innocence and lack of experience still sparked something inside of me. Her response was so natural when I flipped her over and pressed my body into hers. We fit together so perfectly—doesn’t she see these things too?

It wasn’t like any of the other times. Her hands roamed across my body—fisting in my hair, traveling over my shoulders and back. My body shook as she trailed her hands over my hips, stopping at the zipper of my pants. I waited to see if she would undress me herself. She did. The sound of my zipper ripped through our kiss. I lifted myself up to get out of my pants before my lips went back to her neck.

She mewled as I kissed the skin below her ear and sucked on her earlobe. I wondered why she never got her ears pierced—now I'm glad she didn’t. She felt every sensation. I looked into her eyes and a silent communication passed between us. We were so good together…it’s never like this with anyone else. Ever.

A deep groan flooded my chest when her fingers wrapped around my swelling cock. It felt so good it almost hurt; a flood of desire spread through my spine as she moved her hand up and down slowly. It almost disabled me.

She kept going as I took my mouth to her nipples. Her back arched right as I closed my mouth around her nipple. I sucked harder and she cried out. Music. I did the same to the other over and over until she was shaking so hard beneath me I thought she might come.

“Dillon!” She cried out as her body continued to tremble. Hold up.

“Did you just…” her eyes glazed over as she nodded slowly. I couldn’t help but smile. I thought that was a myth—but my Cheesecake came just by me working her nipples.

“Jesus.” I whispered just before I kissed her.

Her hand moved on my cock again, her thumb swirled around my tip and she moved up and down again. My hands went to her panties and I didn’t waste time getting them off. The most innocent, sweet little gasp left her lips when I slid my finger through her slick folds, finding her clit immediately.

My eyes gazed at her sea-blue eyes as I worked her over and over. She was so perfectly responsive, I thought she would come again after a few more passes of my finger. She did. I circled my thumb around her clit as she came again, her hand clenching around me. I moved her hand away when I almost came. I needed to come inside of her.

“Lori,” Her eyes could barely stay open, “I won’t do this without you knowing how much I love you…God, I’m so in love with you.” Her eyes widened and I silenced her with a kiss. I didn’t want her to say anything. I just wanted her to know.

Then I was inside her. She was so tight and warm uuughhh…. I didn’t think I would make it.  My right hand was on the small of her back and the other was on her hip, holding her close to me. I moved inside of her with such a slow, steady pace it nearly killed me. I didn’t know how much longer she could hold off; it seemed she was a bundle of orgasms beneath me.

Her arms wrapped around my chest and brought me closer to her. Her breasts pillowed against my chest, her nipples grazing against me every time I entered her. I don’t know what I was doing the first time—maybe just going slow. But this…this was making love and I never thought I would do it with any woman. But here I was. With my best friend in the whole fucking world, making looovvve.

I wished I could last longer but once she bucked her hips toward me and met my thrusts I was finished. I came in such an earth shattering way I was lost for air.

“Lori, God, Lori…” I groaned into her neck as she clenched around me.

“Oh Dillon,” she moaned as her nails raked down my back and settled where we joined.

I couldn’t move. I was mush. I was still inside of her, my cock twitching in spurts. I was frozen. It was so good…felt so right and perfect. I nearly purred when she started curling my hair around my ear. Good thing I didn’t get the hair cut I needed.

When I found my senses, I rolled off of her with a heavy sigh. She turned to face me and I laid on my side, my head on my hand as I propped myself up. She looked almost ethereal like this; the setting sun was behind us, lighting up her hair and casting a sort of halo around her naked body.

“You’re so beautiful.” I whispered. She blushed even further. I couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and touch her so I laid my hand against her hip, drawing smooth circles around. She stared back at me.

“Why didn’t you tell me about New York?” Her chest froze with her breath before she answered.

“I…you weren’t speaking to me. I thought you wouldn’t care.” I grimaced.

“You know why I wasn’t speaking to you.” My voice was dark. She nodded slowly.

“I know…but it was so hard without you…” her voice broke. Tears flooded from her eyes suddenly.

“You hurt me Lori. More than anyone has ever hurt me before. Every time I thought of you…” I shook my head as I brushed her tears away, “I went back to the day I told you the truth and you shot me down. I get that I don’t have a good track record with relationships but I expected something—anything else from my best friend.” She sniffled but nodded at my words.

“I shouldn’t have said those things, Dillon. You’re so sweet, and kind. You are a good man…I was just afraid. I thought that if we tried and it didn’t work I would lose you—I’m not strong enough for that. These past few months have been hell without you. To think it could be like that forever…I was too afraid to risk it.” She inhaled sharply as she cried harder. I pulled her closer to me in a tight hug and kissed her cheek.

“That’s what I thought before I told you—it’s why I didn’t tell you all these years. But I had to.”

“You’re braver than me.” She mumbled against my chest. I chuckled softly.

“No. Just Foolish.”

She twisted her head up and her gaze went to my lips. I leaned in and her lips found mine. It was slow, sweet. My conscience ruined it by asking what it meant but I ignored it and pulled her closer. A little gasp muffled from her lips when she felt my erection against her thigh. Her hand trailed down my chest as she deepened the kiss but the rational part of me pulled away.

“What does this mean, Lori?” She gave me a funny look. I almost waved the question the longer I stared at her swollen, parted lips.

“You’re asking that? I never would have thought…” her giggle softened the mood.

“I guess I am.” I smiled crookedly. She shook her head as her expression changed.

“It means I want more of you…I know I don’t feel exactly the same way as you but I know I feel something other than you just being my best friend.” It wasn’t perfect but it was enough for me.

In less than a second my lips were on hers again and I was fully hard. She arched her body into mine and straddled me, her chest was flush against mine. My hands roamed down her body until I reached her sex. The sexiest little whimper left her lips when I touched her softly. She was already so wet.

She reached down between us and curled her hand around me, eliciting a deep groan from me. Then she was sinking down onto me so agonizingly slowly. But I knew she had to go slow, she had never felt me this way. I waited until she was ready and she rose up again. She leaned up, a smile spreading across her face. God. She was pure woman.

I let my eyes appreciate her before I even moved my hands. From the swell of her thighs and dark tufts of hair to where we were joined, watching myself disappear inside of her was the most beautiful thing. Her protruding naval, her full breasts bobbed slightly…it was all too perfect. My hands went to her chest, palming her breasts in my hand as I toyed with her nipple. She cried out even louder. I had no doubt the people next door could hear her. Between her loud gasping moans her eyes found mine and I realized I had probably never looked a girl in the eye while we had sex. It was like communicating on a deeper level and I know it only felt like that because it was Lori.

I lifted her off me, she pouted with a soft whimper as I laid her on her side. My chest pressed against her back and I entered her again. She gasped and bucked her hips with mine as I found a steady rhythm. She craned her neck and found my lips. I kissed her deeply, our tongues tangling as we moved together.

I reached around her and circled her clit softly. She moaned into my mouth. Her hand reached around and gripped my ass. She broke away and sighed deeply, her moans getting louder and louder. I knew she was close.

“Dillon…Dillon…” she breathed. Then she cried out as her body seized in pleasure.

I held her closer as I moved inside of her faster. I buried my face in her neck and she turned her lips to my ear.

“Come for me Dillon.” Yes, fucking ma’am. That was it. I stilled inside of her as I came harder than before.

I stayed frozen inside of her until I could breathe like a normal person. I eased out of her and she turned to face me. I kissed her again softly and she nuzzled closer to me. When she pulled away I saw fresh tears in her eyes.

“What’s wrong, Cheesecake?” She shook her head as she sniffed. A sad smile found her face.

“I just…I’m going to miss you so much—when I go to New York. I don’t know if…” I wiped her tears with my thumb.

“We can still see each other. It will be just like when we went off to college.” She shook her head again.

“Things are different now…by then we’ll have been dating and—and it will just be harder.”

I saw it then when I looked in her eyes. Filling with tears. I couldn’t leave her either. And for what? More sunlight? Fuck no.

“It’s going to be fine. I promise.” Her brows furrowed as she stared at me.

“How do you know that?” She made a face as a smile stole my face. I don’t know if I was smiling so much from my orgasms or the happiness I seemed to find in the last hour. But it was a big fucking smile.

“Because NYU has a great medical school.”