I disappeared into the kitchen to make dinner. I think Lori was working in her room or something. It gave me time to think. I thought some space would do me good. Since we first had sex, we had still been around each other a lot. It was clouding my judgment. Especially since she was going on her date tomorrow—I couldn’t be here or I would say something else stupid.

I was making alfredo pasta with farfalle noodles and garlic bread. Lori loved Italian food, I wanted to make something for her. Once I set the pasta in to bake I went to tell her dinner was ready. I knocked softly and found her in her signature position reading. At least this time she was wearing tights. Not really any better when she rolled over.

“Hey I made dinner—alfredo pasta.”

“Ooo.” She bookmarked her book and followed me out.

She sat at the small dining table off the kitchen, staring at her phone. Probably reading a book.

“So, I read all your blogs. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to help you out with them.” I broke the silence halfway through our meal.

“That’s okay. I know you’re having a busy semester…have you done your intent to graduate and stuff?” I nodded.

“Like the middle of last month or something. Everything is in place I guess.”

“Good, I’m happy for you.” She smiled and kept eating. She ate four of the six slices of garlic bread I made and finished her pasta. We both had a glass of wine.

“I’ll wash.”

“I think I’m going to go home tomorrow—to see my parents.” I stood next to her at the sink. She glanced up at me.

“Oh. Why?” I never usually go home unless there is a holiday.

“I just want to see my mom. I miss her.” she raised her brows and made an ‘aww’ face.

“That’s sweet.” I hip butted her playfully.

“Shut up.” I laughed a bit. She racked the last plate and turned to face me. she leaned on the counter and crossed her arms, pushing her shirt down between the swells of her breasts. Fuck.

“You’re not leaving because of my date tomorrow, are you?” I shook my head a little too fast.

“No. it just so happens that I…just finished midterms and I’m tired. I want to go home and rest and eat my mom’s food. Maybe tell your dad about how we had sex.” She laughed aloud.

“Okay Dillon…I actually needed to tell you, um--” she bit her lip nervously and looked up at me.  I arched my brow, urging her to continue.

She leaned off the wall and instead stood in front of me, backing up against the counter. This couldn’t be good. She was making a face.

“We shouldn’t do it anymore. Have sex, I mean.” I had to admit my heart sunk a little. But how long did I think it would go on? I exhaled slowly and nodded.

“Okay.” She sighed in relief, as if she expected a different reaction.

“It’s not that I don’t enjoy it—or want to.” I nodded.

“Of course not.” I smirked. She shook her head as she rolled her eyes.

“I just don’t want it to get in the way of our friendship. I know it didn’t, but I’m…afraid it will. I don’t want to lose you that way.” I nodded.

“I understand. Completely.” I smiled to reassure her. “I did have fun though…whatever lucky guy has you next won’t be able to get enough of you.” She grinned slightly.

“I am glad it was you though—that was my first. I guess it’s kind of cool I can say my best friend took my virginity.” She giggled softly. I crossed the space between us and hugged her. Her hands went to my sides and I stepped closer to feel her body against mine.

“I’m glad it was too.” I kissed the top of her head.

“When will you be back?” She asked, pulling away.

“Sunday night, I guess. I have class early on Monday, so I won’t be back too late.”

“Okay.” I smiled down at her.

“Why? You gonna miss me?” She shoved my chest.

“No. A little. You’ll miss Kit.”

“Who the hell is Kit?” She giggled.

“My date.” I scowled but then calmed my expression.

“Oh. I don’t want to meet Kit Kat.”

“Kit.” She corrected.

“I don’t care.”

I shuffled into the living room to watch Grey’s Anatomy. Lori joined me later with a book. After a few episodes, I kept dozing off. Riggs had just come in so Owen was a raging mess. It was my favorite part of the season.

“Are you leaving early?” Lori whispered. She was settled against my lap reading on her phone.

“Yeah. I want to be there by eleven or so.” It was only a three-hour drive, if I left by seven there would be less traffic.

“You should go to sleep, you’re dozing off.” The corner of my mouth tugged into a smile.

“You worried about me, Cheesecake?” she shook her head but smiled.

I stared down at her. I stared at her a lot. She was just so damn perfect. I wanted to reach out and touch her, but that wouldn’t be good. The soft curve of her cheek, the smooth roll of her nose, the outline of her lips…just perfect. Kit Kat was a lucky guy. Fuck. What if she likes him? One date turns in to two and then all of a sudden, they’re getting married. I was over reacting but it was possible.

When I dozed off for the fourth time I gave up and went to bed. I was gone as soon as I hit the pillow.

My blaring alarm went off at six thirty. Surprisingly, I got up immediately. I took a warm shower and dressed in sweats. I was lucky I had no assignments due on Monday, and I finished all my readings during the week so I could truly relax. I drank a quick cup of coffee and ate a granola bar. I didn’t need to pack a bag because I pretty much had two wardrobes.

I went into Lori’s room to say goodbye. She was fast asleep and cute as a button. Her hair was tangled all over her face, her mouth open and letting out small snores. I leaned down and brushed her hair behind her ear.

“Lori?” She was a light sleeper. She stirred softly and blinked her eyes open.

“I’m leaving.”

“Hmm. Okay.” She murmured. I chuckled softly and leaned down to kiss her forehead. Her hand brushed against my cheek softly and then she tucked it back under her face. I smiled softly and then left her.

The drive was easy. I blasted YelaWolf and Eminem all the way there. I was really at ease about going home, I knew it would help. I pulled in just after eleven like I wanted to. Driving past Lori’s house made me think of her. I wanted to go in and speak to her dad but I had a feeling he would just see it all over my face and beat me up.

I entered through the back door. I wasn’t even sure if mom would be here. I went up to my bedroom to take a piss and freshen up. When I exited my bathroom, I was attacked.

“Dillon!” You didn’t tell me you were coming home.” Mom caught me in a suffocating hug. Her familiar brown sugar and Chanel scent filled me immediately. When I was no longer surprised I relaxed into the comfort of her hug.

“Yeah, last minute decision. Can I breathe now?” She released me and held me at arms distance, looking me over.

“Honey, you look awful. You’ve got bags.” She pointed to my eyes.

“They’re designer.” I smirked. She cupped my face in her hands and squeezed, her eyes glistening. She really missed me. I should call her more.

“Why don’t you settle in; I’ll make you a quick lunch.”

“As long as it’s a big one.” She smiled over her shoulder on the way out the door.

I smiled to myself, somehow, I already felt better. I changed into my jeans to feel like less of a bum and met her in the kitchen. She was whipping up an omelet. I noticed her outfit. She was in brown boots and a blue shift dress.

“Are you going out?” I asked her.

“I’m meeting with a client in an hour, nothing serious. Just a follow up.” I sat at the island.

“I’ll go with you. Like I used to.” She gave me a look.

“I’m all for it…are you sure you’re okay?” I nodded. She didn’t believe me but she didn’t press any further.

She set the finished omelet in front of me with a glass of orange juice. She watched me eat, it was kind of her thing. But I also knew she wanted to pry answers out of me.

“How were your midterms?” she asked me.

“Good.” I finished my last bite. “I should have my grades by Monday.”

“I’m sure you did excellent…I got a letter from your advisor about your graduation info.”

“Yeah. I finished all my paperwork and everything.”

“I also got letters from USC and NYU.” I nearly spat my juice out. “You’re lucky I saw it before your father did.” I sighed in frustration.

“I forgot to change the address.”

“They both seem to want you…USC is offering you eighteen thousand a year. Not that we need the money but…they were pulling out all the stops. NYU is stingy but isn’t this the second letter since your acceptance?” I nodded once. She gave me a sad look.

“Do you know where you want to go?”

“I’m leaning towards USC. But NYU is still good. I have to make a decision soon but…I was hoping to have dad on board before I did.” I admitted. Much as I like to pretend, his blessing is important to me.

“I know. You should talk to him.” I sighed. “But he’s away on business. Won’t be back until Monday.”

“He’s been leaving for ‘business’ a lot.” She glowered. I blame it on the lack of sleep. That was an asshole thing to imply.’

“Your father is a lot of things but a cheater is not one of them. He’s working on the new firm in North Carolina. It’s taking a lot more leg work than he thought.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry I’m just…I don’t know.” She nodded and squeezed my arm.

“Is that why you came? Because I know you didn’t just want to drop in.” I gave her an easy smile.

“Don’t we have to leave soon?” I stood up. She shook her head with a heavy sigh. I knew she wasn’t giving up.

I wanted to tell her everything about Lori but I wanted it to be at the right time. When she didn’t have any weapons to throw at me. I changed into a button up shirt, so I could at least look like a respectable son.

“So, who is this guy?” I asked her on the drive over. She was in a new Bentley, must be new because I have never seen it before.

“He is renovating his house and I’m just working on the design. Nothing serious.”

“Is he old?” She shot me a look.

“Not really. maybe your dad’s age.”

“I don’t like you hanging around men too much.” I said. She laughed, even though I was completely serious. Well, maybe mostly joking.

“You are so goofy Dillon.” She laughed.

We pulled into a community I had never been in before. The houses were all the same size, two floors with a balcony. We reached the end of the lane and she pulled into the driveway of a more modern home.

“This is it.” She got out and I followed her.

She rang the doorbell of the door, glass barred by wrought iron.

“I already think he’s weird.” She pinched my arm.

“Behave, Dillon.” She brought out the motherly tone.

Said weirdo answered the door. He was about dad’s age. With silver hair and a tanned body, complete with brown linen pants and an ugly white polo. Well, it wasn’t ugly per say.

“Natalie, good afternoon.” They shook hands.

“Hey Patrick.” He glanced at me. “Oh, this is my son, Dillon. He’s visiting from Clemson.” His brows raised.

“Oh, I knew I recognized you. I watch all Clemson’s games, you’re quite the WR.” I couldn’t help but grin.

“Thank you.”

He ushered us inside. I drowned out their conversation. It was all boring design talk. His house was fairly large, but I wasn’t paying much attention. I just didn’t want to be home alone twiddling my thumbs, thinking about Lori.

I followed mom around like I was twelve years old again. Fun fact, I always liked drawing and design stuff. Going to work with her was fun back then. I stopped around high school when dad tied me down to football. It got me in touch with my childhood again, the simpler side of life. Where I was just excited to hang out with my best friend. Falling in love with Lori was the best mistake I ever made. I knew then, that when I got back, I had to tell her.

“Let’s go, Dillon.”

“Done already?” I came to.

“Yeah.” Patrick walked us out.

“Nice meeting you.” He shook my hand firmly and then we were on our way.

“I have to go to the studio and file these.”

I settled into the seat as she drove downtown to her office. halfway there, her phone rang on Bluetooth.

“Hello?” she called out.

“Hey sexy lady.” I threw up in my mouth. Yep, threw up in my mouth.

“Aw, dad!” Mom turned a bright red color and dad just laughed.

“Oh, hey son…what are you doing there?”

“Visiting mom.” My voice was still laced with disgust.

“Oh.”

“You’re on Bluetooth in the car.” Ma explained.

“Oh, you took the new car out?” I heard the smirk in his voice.

“Yeah, I had to see a client today.” 

“It drives nice, doesn’t it?” I assumed it was a gift…shit, their anniversary did come up. I didn’t say anything about it. It was February third.

“Mmhm, very nice.” She smiled again.

“Maybe because we had a chance to break it in.” It took me a second to figure out what that meant. I wanted to hurl again.

“Matthew, stop torturing him.” Dad laughed with a boom and I shuddered again.

I drowned out the rest of their conversation.

“I’ll be back Monday morning—I miss you, honey.” Dad says. Mom smiled brightly.

“I miss you too, I love you.”

“I love you too—talk to you later…bye Dillon, I love you.” Was he dying? I haven’t heard that in a long time.

“You too dad…” I replied. The call dropped in two beeps.

Mom ran a few errands before we got back home. She gave me some time to myself, but after dinner—her delicious meatloaf and twice baked potatoes, she confronted me.

“Something is bothering you.” She sat on the couch next to me. She paused the movie I was watching—Deadpool.

“I’m fine, ma.” She turned to face me, her expression stern. Even in pink, silk nightwear she commanded attention.

“Is it about Lori? Is it getting too hard living with her?” I shook my head. I hadn’t told her the final outcome of the conversation we had about her earlier—about my proposition.

I took a shaky breath and twisted to face her. Her expression was motherly and scary at the same time. Here goes nothing.

“I had sex with Lorraine…a couple of times.”

“How many times?” She didn’t take a beat.

“Four I think…well twice at the same time—two times.” If that made any sense at all. She nodded slowly and thought for a second.

“Because of her blog. Only because of that. I didn’t do it because of how I feel about her—mostly.” I added.

“And you still haven’t told her?” I shook my head. She gave me a ‘what is wrong with you?’ look.

“I can’t. Not now. She will never believe that I’m genuine.”

“Not if you tell her the truth…wait, if it was because of the blog why did you do it more than once?” Shit.

“I…it’s complicated?” Her face said, ‘nice try.’

“I told her she could use me to…take charge of her sexuality if she wanted. Women should be able to do it just as much as men do.” She pursed her lips.

“I guess I should be glad I did something right with you.” I smiled softly.

“I’m not that bad.”

“But she told me just before I left that we weren’t going to do it anymore. I’m totally fine with that—it was getting to be too hard anyway.” she nodded.

“So why did you run away?” My brows arched.

“I didn’t. I just missed you, ma. Honest. I needed a break. I’ve been wanting to tell you about what happened with Lori anyway.”

“Okay,” she sighed, “I missed you too.” She looked at me like she never wanted me to go, I’m pretty sure I looked at her like I didn’t want to go either. Mom just makes me feel so much better. Lori makes me feel that way too, but a different kind of ‘better.’

She pulled me into a tight hug that lasted just as long as I needed it to, then she went off to bed. I finished the movie and went back to my bedroom. I tossed and turned for a good while before I could go to sleep. I was worried about Lori, thinking about her date. I wanted to ask her how it went but I was supposed to be playing it cool.

I woke up to the smell of breakfast. It was probably my favorite part of being home, big as our house is I still smell it from the kitchen. I washed up and trekked downstairs.

“Oh good, you’re up. I just finished.”

I ate the best batch of pancakes and bacon I’ve ever had.

“Do you need me to get you anything before you go back?” Mom asked me.

“No, I think I’m okay. Did you finalize everything for graduation?” She nodded.

“I did. We’ll be there the day before. You’re sure you don’t want to keep the apartment?” I nodded.

“I won’t be anywhere near here after graduation.” I regretted what I said when I saw the sadness cover her face.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Ma.” I said softly. She held my hand in hers, shaking her head.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll go ahead and list it then.” She smiled at me.

“You can visit me all the time. I won’t object.” I laughed.

“I definitely will.”

Ma insisted on cooking me some food to take back. I left around five after a very long hug and a few tears—from mom, not me. She had gotten better at watching me go since Freshman year. Much better.

I pulled into the apartment complex just after eight. I had to admit, I was excited to see Lori. Two days had me missing her. I entered the apartment, expecting to see her in the living room or something. She wasn’t.

I unpacked the food mom made in the fridge. And looked for her in her room.

“Lori? I’m back.” I swung the door open with a smile, expecting a nice welcoming hug. I did not get that at all.

“You asshole!” She stood from her desk and glared at me.

I stared back in shock for a good second, my mouth dropped open in surprise. First, I saw her barely there shorts and think tank top. Lucky for me her angry face killed my hard on.

“What?” I finally said. She crossed her arms and shook her head.

“I know what you did.”