She what?

“You what?” She laughed, but I couldn’t hear it over the music. I leaned in closer to her.

“Come on, I want to dance.” She tugged me into the crowd. She thinks I can dance after dropping a bomb like that?

“Lori!” I shouted over the music. She shook her head with a big smile and kept dancing. I watched her hips sway to the music, her arms flay over her head as she moved with the beat.

I tried to forget about it and dance with her. I was stuck here, her words playing over and over.

I want you to take my virginity. I want you to take my virginity.

That’s what she said, but what I heard was I trust you. I choose you. I want you.

Maybe not the way I want her, but she has wants me in this way.

People were shoving against me, stepping on my toe but Lori looked like she was having so much fun, really letting loose. It’s why I wanted to take her out, her internship gave her a crick in her neck I was watching disappear. When I could finally stop questioning myself I danced a bit with her, though I couldn’t dance at all.

“You still suck!” She shouted in my ear. I shrugged. It was true.

“You want another shot?” I shouted back. She shook her head and got back to dancing.

She didn’t leave until she was covered in a light sheen of sweat. We stepped out into the cold and she shivered, I offered her my jacket.

“So, were you just on a shot-high or do you mean what you said?” I asked her. We were seconds away from my apartment.

“I meant it. I thought about everything you said and I just felt it. I know you’ll do it the right way, that I’ll feel safe and I know I need that now.” I parked the car and turned to face her. She looked awfully adorable in my jacket that swallowed her tiny frame. Her glossy blue eyes tore right into mine.

“That guy…a total stranger would be awful. His hands on me…” she shuddered with disgust.

“You have this way about you, you always have. When I was in trouble or something, you’ve always been there to make me feel better. After tonight…I know it’s weird but I’m sure we’re not the first ones to do it—be best friends and just have sex.” I nodded.

“I don’t think so either…and that’s all I want. For you to be okay. During and after.” I smirked. She smiled a little.

“You’re so full of it.” She laughed a little bit. I swallowed nervously.

“Um…when do you want to do it?” I asked, for lack of a better way to phrase it. She glanced up at the apartment, chewed on the inside of her lip and shrugged softly.

“I don’t know…now?” She’s asking me? Oh, she is.

“It’s whenever you want…unless you want me to surprise you.” I joked about our conversation from earlier. She blushed a little bit and got that same nervous look in her eye. It took me a while but then I got it.

“Oh…you do.” She nodded slowly. So cheesecake has some kink to her. I never would have thought. I assumed she was just joking earlier, playing herself up or something.

“Yeah. Just nothing crazy. Don’t blindfold me or anything.” I nodded with a slight chuckle.

“Okay.” She shivered again. I could see goosebumps on her bare leg.

“Let’s go inside, it’s cold.”

We crossed the threshold and she stopped in front of her door.

“Just don’t wait too long, my period starts in four days.” She said, her hand on her door knob. I smiled softly.

“I won’t…and we both know your calculations aren’t always right.” She glowered at me.

“Shut up, we don’t talk about that.” She laughed and shut her door behind her.

I laughed all the way to my room, remembering our freshman year in high school when her period had suddenly appeared whilst we were shopping in the mall. I’m a good friend, a great one because I let her wear my pants while I walked around in my briefs till I bought a new pair. I marked that day as the day we officially became best friends.

There was no way I could fall asleep. Not even after I took a hot shower, and a cold one because I started thinking about having sex with Lori. I lounged on my bed in sweats, sans shirt and my anatomy book. It’s nerdy, but it helps calm me down, helps me stop thinking for a while, and I needed that.

I honestly thought she would say no. I wasn’t prepared for a yes, at all. And now she wants me to just surprise her; ‘hey, let’s go have sex now.’ It was too much for me. yeah, I like to be in control, I like telling a girl what to do in bed, what guy wouldn’t? But Lori was different. I knew I would be second guessing everything because I don’t want to hurt her, or worse, scare her.

I distracted myself with the principles of human anatomy. Particularly the heart. I want to be a cardiac surgeon so bad. I feel it in my gut, in my soul, I need to do it or I’ll always feel like I left something behind. The kind of regret you can’t get over here. I was on to the mitrovalve when there was a knock on my door. It could only be one person.

“Yeah.”

Lori swung the door open and I took her in. Is it normal for her to be this beautiful? Her gray shorts were rolled up even shorter, barely more than boy-shorts. Her white tank top didn’t reach the waist band of her shorts so I could see her cute little belly button. I always made fun of her for still having an outie and she hates it.

“Can I sit?” I nodded.

“Yeah, sure.” I patted the space next to me on the bed. She climbed up with her book.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her. She shook her head. I patted my lap, she laid down on my thigh. The only thing keeping her from my crotch was my seven-pound anatomy book.

“Nothing. Just didn’t want to be alone for a bit.”

“Well, I’m here.” She smiled up at me and started reading. I went back to reading too.

Only occasionally distracted by how her hair looked in the dim light, how her creamy skin flowed and I had no choice but to follow it with my eyes. Her breasts were spilling over her tank, she rested her book on them. Must be nice.

With a heavy sigh, she closed her book and turned to look at me. Holding her head up on her hand with her elbow over my thigh.

“Are you nervous?” Her eyes bored right into mine.

I arched a brow, “about?”

She glanced down at my anatomy book then looked back at me.

“About us having sex.” I couldn’t help but laugh. A deep, throaty laugh that shook us both. Her full lips parted as she stared blankly at me.

“No. Should I be?” She shrugged.

“I don’t know.” She sighed.

“It won’t be a hard thing, or something. I doubt you’ll be anything like the last virgin I had sex with.”

“It was bad?” She furrowed her brows.

“No. She just kept trying to see me again even though I already told her I don’t do the dating thing. I met her a few times for lunch before I let her down easy though.” I chuckled softly.

“Oh.” I nodded.

I sighed, not sure if I should tell her.

“But just so you know, I’m giving you the full experience. I won’t sugar coat anything—I won’t treat you like a random hook up, of course. But I won’t exactly see you as my best friend in the moment. You’ll be…” I looked down her body, “a really sexy woman that I care a lot about.” She gasped inwardly. I obviously struck something inside of her. She was rubbing her legs together again. I saw her face flush in the dim light.

“You got a problem with that?” She shook her head slowly.

“No.”

She laid back on my legs and started reading again. I wasn’t sure how long she wanted to stay but I was perfectly relaxed so I put my book away and sunk down into the bed. She moved her head to lay on my stomach. I rested my hands behind my head and stared at her.

“You’re staring.” She murmured.

“Just thinking about what I’m going to do with you.” She elbowed me in the gut. It didn’t hurt too much though.

“I’m nodding off.” I said after a while. She moved onto the other pillow. She laid on her side, her back to me as she kept reading.

I turned the other way, because I couldn’t do anything but get a hard on staring at her ass, and drifted off to sleep.