I sealed the last of Lori’s boxes and loaded it on my truck.

“What about my car?” We stood in her driveway, ready to leave before she freaked out.

“I have two up in Clemson, you can drive one of them. We should ride together.” She looked back at her car sadly but then agreed.

She already said goodbye to her sister yesterday, so we stopped at the fire station to see her dad before we set off. I hadn’t spoken anything about medical school and the draft to my father since that day in the house, so when I said goodbye it was amicable. My mom was sad to see me go, as she always is.

“You coming inside?” She asked. I nodded and shut the engine off.

Her dad was sitting in the break room with his colleagues. I knew most of them, but not all.

“You be careful, sweetheart.” Theo hugged Lori tight. She kissed his cheek and nodded.

“I will.” We were on our way out before her dad stopped us.

“Dillon.” I turned, Lori was already out the dor. He gave me the stern look I had been waiting for and pointed at me with his face in a tight grimace.

“You take care of her, understand?” His eyes were beady and hooded, sending daggers right through my heart.

“Yes sir.” He nodded and I left briskly.

“What was that?” Lori asked as we walked out.

“Nothing. Let’s hit the road.”

The drive was only three hours so I hit it in one shot. We arrived just before dinner time. I led her up to my apartment in The Gallery. It was two bedrooms, and a pretty good size.

“It’s really nice.”

“Why do you say that like you’re surprised?” She shrugged and walked farther inside.

The island faced the front door and the kitchen was off to the side. Mom made sure I had the best, stainless steel appliances and good furniture. I had a leather loft couch and two side chairs. The entertainment system was my favorite. I watched Lori walk around, looking at the few pictures I had. I hoped she wouldn’t notice there were quite a few of us. I had to say, I imagined her standing in my living room a bunch of times, but seeing her here for real, in her shift dress and wool boots, was a hundred times better.

“I’m not.” She smiled a bit.

“This will be your room; I’ll clean the equipment out tomorrow.” I showed her the bedroom next to mine, the bathroom was in the middle. “Only one bathroom though, so knock before you come in.” I joked with her, she shook her head in mock disappointment.

“It’s pretty nice.” She sat on the bed, my mom insisted on me keeping it dressed. It had been like that since she bought the place for me two years ago.

“Yeah. We should eat after we bring your stuff up.” She nodded.

She didn’t do any of the work though. I didn’t mind lugging all her bags up either. I was sweating through my t-shirt by the time I was done, my jeans clung to my legs.

“Finished?” She chirped. I glared at her softly and she giggled.

I sat next on the small couch in the room—her room. I could get used to her being inches away, it might make my life a lot harder but I could handle it.

“What do you want for dinner?” She shrugged.

“You live here, you tell me. Maybe you can show me around a bit too.” She suggested. I stared at her a bit too long, liking how she looked in the light. She looked like a dark haired, raven. A beautiful raven at that.

“Oh, yeah. We should do that. I’m going to shower first though.” She nodded.

“I’ll wait here. Maybe snoop around a bit.” I chuckled a bit and stood up.

“Okay.” She stopped me at the door, touching my arm softly.

“Dillon,” she looked up at me. I already knew what she was going to say. I pulled her into a hug, she latched her arms around my waist and I squeezed her shoulder—being surprisingly platonic.

“You’re welcome.” She sighed and released me.

“Be right back.”

I left her alone and took a shower. I dressed in jeans and a long sleeved, crimson colored shirt. I ran some product through my hair to keep it down and then met her back in her room. She was hanging up some clothes in her closet and one of her suitcases was wide open. All I saw was lace, and it was enough to make every ounce of the blood in my body rush to one particular organ.

“Hey.” My voice was hooded. She spun around quickly and smiled.

“Hey, I’m almost finished.”

“Lori, I’m starving and your clothes aren’t going anywhere.” She made a face but held up her hands in defense, walking over to her purse.

“Okay, let’s go.”

We walked outside together. The wind blew softly, because she was right in front of me her smell hit my nose. I smiled, she smelled like lilacs and cheesecake. She was undeniably edible; I couldn’t get through one day, without wanting to taste her; without wanting more of her.

“Oh, this is one of my cars.” We walked past the Audi coupe I drove up here in the fall, I left it because I decided to fly back.

“I can’t drive that.” She eyed it suspiciously.

“Why?”

“It’s too…flashy.” I laughed to myself.

“Your only other option is the Mercedes.” I pointed to the mid-size C-class my mom drove up here…and then ended up flying back too. I guess that’s what happens when you have too many cars, they get left places. She didn’t reply.

“Let’s just talk about it later. I’m too hungry to argue with you.” My voice was a little shorter than I intended but she didn’t flinch at all.

I took her to Todaro Pizza, the best pizza here in my opinion. I ordered a large pizza that I could probably finish myself and she got a personal veggie pizza. It’s actually funny, sometimes she pretends she’s a vegetarian. It’s cute.

“I’m sorry about before, I appreciate you letting me even use your car. And live with you.” She gazed at me from across the table. I leaned back, arms crossed and legs open, my most comfortable position.

“It’s okay Cheesecake. I know you don’t like people helping you, but I’m not people. I’m your best friend.”

She smiled a bit and nodded. Then she pulled out her phone and started reading, she was good as gone.

When our food came, she put her phone away and ate.

“When do you start class?” She asked me. I finished chewing and replied.

“Next Thursday.” It was only Saturday so I had a while.

“You excited?” I took a swig of my beer and shook my head.

“God no. I held off on some core classes too long. I’ll be in class with a bunch of freshmen.” I dreaded it. I wanted to get all my pre-med courses out of the way and take my MCAT a year before med school, which I did. But now I was stuck in English and some biology electives. The only thing I was excited for was this homicide course I signed up for and my biomedical ethics class.

“Well at least you’ll have a whole new hook-up pool. Eager freshman.” She wiggled her brows and I laughed a bit, but it was uneasy.

She joked about my sexual accolades so casually, it really made me think she didn’t think of me romantically at all. Like…at all. Girls don’t joke like that when they like you. We finished eating and I paid the tab, of course she argued but I always win. She didn’t say anything about it making it a date or something, I was the only one who thought like that. I had never even taken a girl out on a date before, but I’m sure it involved paying.

“I want to show you around campus.” I said when we got in the car.

“Oh cool, I’ve never seen it, have I?” I shook my head. When she visited she had only been to my apartment.

I drove to the athletic facility and came in through there. I went in through the football stadium. It was rarely ever locked.

“Can we even be here?” She trailed behind me.

“Yeah. It’s no big deal.”

I showed her every interesting thing I could think of. My locker, the sidelines, the viewing room at the very top of the stadium. She was only slightly interested. I showed her around campus a bit but it was getting cold so we headed back.

“Hey, I haven’t read any of your blogs in like two weeks.” I thought of it in the car, the last one I read was when she graduated. She usually does a new year’s one and one after that. Sure, I could read it myself on her site but if she doesn’t give me the go ahead, I don’t read it. It was an unspoken rule.

“Oh, yeah. Um…you can read the next one.” She was acting extremely weird about it. Remember when I asked her before and she said the same thing? Weird.

“Why can’t I read these?” She shook her head. I glanced at her but she kept her eyes forward.

“I…already know it’s good.” She murmured. I raised my hand and sighed.

“Alright.” Though I didn’t believe her.

I didn’t see much of Lori until the day I had class. She was immersed in her first few days at work. I insisted on celebrating over the weekend. But first I had to tackle Friday classes. She wasn’t home when I got back, it was only two in the afternoon. She pretty much worked a nine to five. I ate a quick lunch and then I couldn’t help it. I had to see why she didn’t want me to read the last few blogs.

I hoped she wouldn’t take it badly, I figured she wouldn’t even know. I sat on the couch, pulled out my laptop and went to her site. I started with the first blog. The title completely threw me off. My Virgin Manifesto-posted on Cheesecake Write’s blog.

This may be a shock to you all, and this is very hard to even type but at my glorious age, I am still a virgin. You may be wondering how that’s possible, if you read the short stories I post then you know it may be hard to believe. But believe me, it is true. Yes, I am heterosexual. Since the beginning of time, maybe, a woman remaining a virgin meant she remained pure. People even profit off of a woman’s in-tact hymen. In Europe, the bride’s family put up a dowry for her wedding to a suitable man. In Japan, sex with a virgin is so highly valued that a wealthy man would sponsor a maiko and train her, in return he got her hand in marriage and right of mizuage—the ritual of privilege to take her virginity. Hell, sacrifices to the gods were made possible with virgins. When the Greeks needed wind to sail for Troy so they could wage war, but the goddess Artemis prevented it and asked for a virgin sacrifice.

With everything said, the end goal, the prize in all of these was a woman’s virginity. In most all of these scenarios, the woman is getting little to no profit. So let’s come back to our time, can women—like me, still profit from our attached hymens? From our undeniable purity? Not legally. What we can do is control it, at least. We aren’t being married off, we aren’t being forced by money, and we lose it because we want to. Not because we have to, or are given no choice.

I have a choice. I have chosen to believe that it is holding me back, making me feel like something is…wrong. Nothing is wrong. I know that, but I can’t stop myself from feeling that sinking pit whenever I’m with a guy, things are going well and our relationship comes to a stop because he doesn’t want to be the one to deflower me. I thought guys liked that…anyways, I have made a choice. Back to that. This little hymen of mine is going to get broken, I don’t know or care by who, as long as they don’t have diseases. I’ll start looking and get back to you. I’m losing it, guys.

This is Cheesecake, signing out.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. No fucking wonder she didn’t want me to read it. This is…wait, she’s going to what? Lose it to some rando? Fuck no…but could I stop her? Fuck no. I don’t have the right to control her hymen, she has made it clear that no one does. But I couldn’t let her do that. I know how she is. I may know her better than she knows herself and if she did that, it would kill her. She wouldn’t make it…I know that for sure.

I read the next two. They were considerably brighter. About the new year and then her internship. Good. I couldn’t read the comments on her manifesto, too many creeps offering to…it made my blood boil. I shut my laptop down and went for a run to lose this frustration. I didn’t expect her to be back when I got there.

“Oh, you’re here early.” It was only four.

“Yeah, the editor let me go early. She also wants my review on this manuscript.” She beamed.

I took in her happiness all at once. First of all, she looked amazing in her black slacks that fit all her curves, and her pink button-down shirt that strained against her breasts. Her hair was pinned back, exposing her neck. I was already straining against my sweats.

“That’s amazing.” I smiled brightly.

Shake it off, be cool. I wasn’t cool at all. I was hot and it wasn’t from my run. I downed some water, it didn’t help. She moved around me and made herself a smoothie. I sat on the counter and watched her sip at it.

“What?” She gave me a look.

I took a second. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing; she was obviously pretty bothered by this.

“I…first of all, I’m really sorry but I read your last three blogs.” I blurted.

“The last three? So.” She laughed, sipped her smoothie and then almost did a spit take.

“Oh…you read…”

“Your virgin manifesto…yeah.” My lips tugged a smile, but I wanted to be serious.

She flushed immediately and set down her cup.

“Did you really mean you were…looking for someone to—to just take it?” I asked, my voice quiet. Her eyes bugged as she stared back at me.

“Yeah. I meant it. I think it will be good for me.”

“I don’t.” I blurted before thinking. She jutted back.

“You don’t get to make that decision.”

“I know. You made it very clear that you make your own choices, and I respect that. I worship your clear mind, even when you’re just unbearably stubborn but Lorraine, I am telling you, you’ll regret it if you do it this way.” I pleaded. She shook her head.

“I won’t. Can’t you just…be supportive?” I groaned.

I sat back, running my hands through my hair in frustration. She shook her head and walked off.

“Wait,” she turned to face me. I stood up, feeling the sweat trickle down my back from my run. “I support all your choices. I’ve spoken my mind about it, so I will shut up. And I’ll always be here for you if it goes…badly.” She smiled softly.

“Thanks.” Then she disappeared inside her room.

I opted for a warm shower. But I kept thinking of Lori and sex and those two in the same sentence didn’t work for me. It’s bad to come in the shower, that shit clogs the drains. I turned the water cold and got out when I calmed down.

To take my mind off of things, I started early on some assignments. In four hours I managed to write my essay for English, complete the first online assignment for my homicide course and then some crap for my visual arts elective. Hungry, I heated up a frozen dinner. When I was finished I chugged a beer and then thought for a second…a long, confusing second but then it came to me.

I knocked on Lori’s door, my heart racing. What if she leaves or something? I was thinking the worst.

“Come in.”

She was sprawled on her bed, reading a loose manuscript with her thick black glasses on. God, this was going to be really hard. As I was.

“Hey.” I sat on her bed gingerly.

She curled up her book and then sat up, curling her legs under her. Her t-shirt covered her up but I could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra, the swells of her breasts were visible.

“Hey. Are you still mad?” She bit her lip softly.

“No,” I furrowed my brow, “I can’t be mad at you for making a choice.”

“Thanks.” I nodded. Wait.

“I uh, thought I could make it easier for you.”

“How?”

“First, how is your um…search going?” She shrugged and blushed a little bit.

“Well I was going to go out tomorrow and just…kind of like what I tried with that guy. When you were there. This time I won’t back out though.” Her eyes met mine.

“Why does it have to be a stranger?” I thought if I understood I could talk myself out of the proposition I was about to give her.

“So that there are no expectations. Those guys I’ve been with, they get weird when they find out I’m a virgin. I don’t want to deal with that. When I find the right guy, I don’t want my virginity stopping me again.” It sort of made sense. But I guess I wanted this too bad to even try and understand properly.

“Okay. The thing is…I’m just putting this out there, and you can say no. You can say hell no and I will understand that completely. So I should just tell you, I guess.” I was flustered. I never get nervous for anything but this was tearing me up.

“What is it, Dillon?” She giggled a bit.

I met her eyes, big, blue and innocent as she stared at me. I felt my heart in my ears, my stomach in my ass. I didn’t think this through, but I couldn’t back down without a fight. It wouldn’t be a good idea; I mean I’m in love with the girl for crying out loud. It would kill me, but…taking Lori as mine is something I’ve dreamt of since I was fifteen. Fifteen. I took a deep breath, a steadying breath and then let it out.

“What about me? I’ll take your virginity.”