“Are you pouting?”

“Is it that obvious?”

Chase laughed, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me back into his chest. He gave me a quick kiss on the side of the neck. “I’ll make you fajitas tomorrow. Promise. A double batch. Heavy on the Lunacy Sauce.”

“She doesn’t even like to cook,” I said.

“Isn’t that why Stephen’s grilling out?”

I felt like a three-year-old who had an ice cream cone waved in their face and then snatched away. Psych!

“Humph. He wouldn’t even need to do that if we’d just stuck to the plan.” I spun around, facing him. “I know. We could make them and bring them over.”

“That’s probably the reason why Perry wanted to switch places to begin with. Yes, we could make them, but they wouldn’t be the same without the heat.”

“Maybe that’s part of it, but she’s also scared of the wild turkeys in my yard. Says they’re mean this time of year and last time they tried attacking her.”

I didn’t know where the hell she came up with that stuff. But Chase was right about the fajitas. If I waited, I could have them exactly the way we liked. But my cravings were something fierce. I’d been looking forward to them all day. We’d invited Perry and Stephen over for dinner, but at the last minute, she asked us to come there instead.

“And here I was already planning on making something else just for her. Something bland and boring.”

He sat on the couch, pulling me onto his lap. “I think you’ll survive another night. It’s not as if I’m asking you to stay away from me.”

I smiled, snuggling into him. God, I loved this man. My son had been home for several weeks, and Chase and I still weren’t sleeping in the same bed. I missed him so badly, and I knew he felt the same. But he was being so patient about it. It made me love him all the more.

That night I’d make it up to him. I’d make it up to both of us. Daniel was in Chicago; he had a callback for a second interview and decided to make a weekend out of it. I didn’t ask, but I could almost guarantee that Cassie was suctioned to his side. I was trying very, very hard not to think about that.

“We could just skip this dinner altogether,” I said. “Lie in bed naked the whole weekend. If we get hungry, we can order in a pizza.”

“Just lie there? I’d rather fuck until we can’t move anymore.”

“Or that, please.”

I rubbed my thighs together. I swear he could just breathe on me and I’d get wet.

He played with my hair, twirling it around his fingers. “You think I wouldn’t take you up on that offer in a heartbeat? Fuck, Jillian. Of course I would. But I know you’ve been waiting for this. We’ll be home soon enough.”

“We could do it over the phone?”

“Perry said the news was big. Is that how you want to hear it?”

I sighed. “No, I guess not. I’m jittery about it, though.” Stephen took Daniel out the night before to this corner bar. It appeared that Perry’s plan worked because he opened up about something, but Perry wanted us to get together to discuss it. I was a little relieved that she was making me wait because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear it or not.

I perked up. Maybe it was positive. Maybe Cassie wasn’t strapped to him this weekend at all. Maybe she was gone for good.

I bolted off his lap. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“That was a quick turnaround.”

“Because I just realized it could be something I really want to hear. And going over there will work to our advantage. It’ll be easier to leave whenever we want instead of kicking them out. The sooner we go, the sooner we’ll be home doing whatever you want to do.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Whatever?”

God, I was horny. Hornier than usual. Just knowing that I had him all to myself for the next couple days revved me up hard. It took a lot of restraint not to hop back on top of him.

“Come on, let’s go.” I pulled him off the couch, and he encased me in his arms. Throb, throb. “You’re not helping, Chase.”

His lips touched mine for a brief second. “I only wanted to tell you I love you.”

“You can show me how much later.”

He laughed, letting me drag him into the kitchen so I could grab the cupcakes I’d picked up for Perry. As an afterthought, I stuffed the bottle of Lunacy Sauce into the bag as well. “We might need it.”

We took his car, and just when I was about to reach over and give him a hand job, he said, “How do you feel about me spending more time with Daniel, getting to know each other better?”

“I’d love it.” It made me a little nervous; I didn’t want anything to go wrong, but I still loved the idea. “But good luck. I’ve been wanting to spend more time with him too, but he’s been… occupied.”

Ugh. I was surprised he was able to break free to meet up with Stephen for a few hours without her. My stomach flipped. I wasn’t feeling so chipper anymore. Maybe he confided in Stephen that Cassie was pregnant. Already? Fuck. Damn fucking Chicago hotel rooms.

Chase grabbed my hand, and I looked over at him. He didn’t say anything, just stroked it with his thumb. His touch still riled me up, but my inner horny teenager now had a protective mom to contend with. Those were usually battles that left no victors.

Perry was waiting at the door when we pulled up to the curb. She waved through the glass, motioning for us to hurry up. I tried to read her expression, but all I was getting was regular, hyper Perry.

She swung the door open when we were halfway to the stoop. “Ohmigod, what took you guys so long?”

“We’re not late.”

“It still took too long.” She glanced down at my hand. “Are those for me?”

I handed her the cupcakes frosted in a thick layer of pink gunk. “Seriously?”

“Oooh. I’m starving.” She popped one out and took a big bite. “Hi, Chase,” she garbled.

We kicked off our shoes and hung up our coats in the mudroom, then followed her into the front room. “I know you’d rather do dinner over by me.” Perry felt the place was too cramped for preparing the food she didn’t like to make anyway. Stephen had lived in the small house by himself before Perry moved in. He could’ve afforded much bigger, but he liked simple.

She shrugged. “It’s fine once in a while. Since we’re more in the city, there’s not all that rabid wildlife to deal with.”

“The turkeys weren’t attacking you, Perry. They were flying into the trees. That’s where they sleep at night.”

“You weren’t out there with me. It was fucking freaky, Jills.”

And this was the same woman who planned to get married on a farm. “Stephen out back?”

“Yes, he’s grilling up some steaks.” She stopped and turned around, hands on hips. “You haven’t even asked me about Daniel yet. Aren’t you the teensiest bit curious?”

“Yes and no.”

“Well, I can tell you right now. It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“How do you know what I’m thinking?”

She gave me a ‘get serious’ look, plopping down on the dining room chair.

“Is it good or bad?”

“Both, depending how you look at it.”

“How the hell can it be both?” And why the fuck are we playing fifty questions?

“I’m gonna see if Stephen needs a hand,” Chase said, heading towards the back patio.

We watched him leave. “Your boyfriend’s being a wimp.”

“I don’t blame him for not wanting to stick around. I’m not sure I do either. I feel a little sick right now.” I took a chair beside her. “I know you’re probably waiting for Stephen to tell me since he was the one there, but can you please just let me know one thing?” I bit down on my lip hard. “Just tell me Cassie’s not pregnant.”

Perry’s eyes widened then she busted out laughing. “No, Jills. She is definitely not pregnant. I mean, I suppose she could be, but it wouldn’t be Daniel’s.”

“What—”

“Dinner’s ready,” Stephen shouted from the kitchen.

“Already? We just got here.”

“That’s what you get for taking so long,” Perry said.

She got up and went to the kitchen, leaving me hanging. For not being sure if I wanted to know anything before, I suddenly wanted to know everything very badly. Chase came back in, handing me a beer. “I don’t think I need it yet, but thanks.”

“Hungry?” he asked.

“Not really.”

Stephen carried in a plate of foil-wrapped potatoes. “I didn’t think we were eating so early,” I said to him.

“Perry said seven.”

“She said to be here at seven.”

He shrugged. “I’m just around to cook and eat tonight.”

“No, you’re also around to let Jills know what happened last night.” Perry set down a bowl of green beans in the center of the table.

“You’re the one who wanted to tell her,” Stephen said.

“Yes, but you wanted to be here when I did.”

“No, I didn’t, Perry.”

“Dammit, guys. Just tell me what’s going on. I don’t care who tells me.”

“I need to get the steaks.” Stephen left the room and I sighed very, very loudly.

“Sit down, Chase, next to Jills. You’re making her nervous.”

“Fuck, Perry. Just—”

“He’s a virgin.”

The room got quiet until Stephen plunked down a large platter of meat and the sound seemed to ping-pong off the walls. I looked up at him. “A virgin?”

He dragged a slab onto his plate. “That’s what he says.”

“But….” Out of all the possible scenarios, that one never entered my mind. I smiled big, regaining my appetite. I scooped up some green beans. This definitely fell smack into the good category. A bit unusual maybe, in this day and age, but excellent news.

“This makes you happy?” Perry said.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it?” I broke open the foil covering my potato and slathered on a hunk of butter.

She snapped her fingers in front of my face. “The good news is that he was a virgin last night. The bad news is that he might not be one right now.”

“What are you talking about?” I glared at Stephen, who’d already inhaled half his food. “Did he tell you he was planning something this weekend?” With that fucking Cassie?

“No, Jillian. He did not.” He pointed his fork at Perry. “Don’t put that shit in her head.”

“I didn’t mean now, as in right this second, but what if he wants Cassie to be his first? She could forever have that hold on him.”

I wasn’t staring into a damned mirror, but I’m pretty sure my face went white. “Perry, fucking stop it,” I heard Stephen say.

I turned my head towards Chase. I don’t think he even knew what to say to me. We were sitting around the dinner table discussing my twenty-one-year-old son losing his virginity. Something wasn’t right.

“I’m not telling you this to upset you, Jills. Just to be prepared. I think it’s more important than ever to keep them apart now.”

“How did this even come about, Stephen? Why did he tell you?”

“I don’t know, Jillian. I guess he’s comfortable with me. We were just shooting the shit, and I don’t even know how the fuck it came up. It’s none of my damn business anyway.”

“But is he glad to be a virgin or not? That could make a lot of difference.”

“You do realize this is a fucked-up conversation, right?”

“Yes.”

Stephen shook his head, filling his mouth with steak. Probably enough to keep him chewing for the rest of the night.

“I don’t think he’s proudly carrying around the virgin badge, Jills. But I don’t think he’s ashamed of it either. It is what it is. He told Stephen he was focused on school, and it just hasn’t happened yet.”

“But why even mention it unless he’s planning on doing something about it?” I asked, directing my questions towards Perry, since she obviously knew the story and would have no issues talking about it. “And he’s still with Cassie?”

Perry nodded, placing her hand over mine. “I’m sorry. But now we know how someone like Daniel could let himself get manipulated. If she starts dangling that carrot in front of him, he’d jump off a bridge to get it.”

God… she was right.

“Why do you assume he’s being manipulated?” He speaks. “He has a fucking brain, Perry.”

“He has a fucking dick, Stephen.”

I dropped my head to my chest. Fuck. Me.

“Let’s get back to the issue here,” Perry said. “Daniel needs to get laid, pure and simple. Sorry, Jills. You can plug your ears if you want, but that’s not going to solve anything. At the end of the day, he’s still a man, but at least if he’s not a virgin, he’ll be a little more immune to Cassie’s skanky charms.”

“And shouldn’t that first time be with someone he at least likes?” Stephen said. “Because he likes her, Perry. He told me he did. That’s what you wanted me to find out, so just let this shit go. We hung out, we had a good time, and I found out more than I wanted. The. End.”

“When are you guys getting together again?”

“I don’t know.”

“Because I declare Operation GDL.”

“What the fuck is that?”

“Operation Get Daniel Laid.”

“So fucked up,” he muttered under his breath, shaking his head. “What, are you suggesting I take him down to Fifth Ave? What the hell, Perry?”

“No, not a streetwalker. That’s disgusting. No, I suggest finding him a nice girl.”

“A nice girl who’ll jump into bed with a strange man because I ask her to?”

“Okay, I can see your point. I can be reasonable. How about that visit to the strip club now? The one down by—”

“I’m not taking him to a damn strip club, and that’s fucked up too. Should I order him a lap dance? Push his face into some stripper’s tits? This is my nephew here.”

What the fuck? This was going way too far. “Excuse me?” I pointed to myself. “This is the mother right here.”

“Yes, Stephen. I think you need to tone it down a notch.”

I heard Chase chuckle softly beside me, and I took his hand under the table. He’d been very quiet during the whole dinner, but again I couldn’t blame him. And this was a bit funny, in a really screwed-up way. I started to laugh. The whole thing was so disturbing, but it was also frickin’ hilarious.

“See?” Perry said. “You’ve pushed her over the edge.”

“Can we just drop it?” I asked. “I’m not a fan of this conversation, although I completely agree with you. I don’t trust her, and now I’m even more worried that—”

“He’ll sleep with her and then fall in love? Or at least think he’s in love. First times can mess you up like that.”

Ugh. I completely lost my original train of thought. And I definitely wasn’t laughing anymore.

“How about if you just spend more time with him, Stephen? Maybe Chase too?” She glanced at Chase and he nodded, looking reluctant. He’d just told me he wanted to get to know Daniel better, but I think he was a little freaked out to hear Perry’s version of quality time. “We’ll keep the plan simple. Invite him over and just stick around the house if that’s better. I’ll make sure to leave. But the whole point is to wean him away from Cassie.”

“In other words, manipulate him into staying away from the woman you think is manipulating him,” Stephen said.

“No, silly. Just do guy things with him.” She jumped up. “Oh! Be right back.”

Stephen muttered under his breath again, refilling his plate. Then Chase did the same. I rested my head back on the chair. My dinner was barely touched. I’d have to wrap it up; I didn’t want the food to go to waste. It was then that I felt the familiar twinge in my side.

Really? Everything that was going on around me and my body decided that now would be a good time to ovulate? I shifted back and forth a few times. It wasn’t painful, but there was always a weird pinching feeling for a minute.

“Are you okay?” Chase asked.

“Yes, just—”

“Cramps?” Perry clunked a cardboard box on the table. “Do you need something?”

“No, not cramps.”

Her eyes flicked up. “Right. Ovulating, then. Sorry, can’t help you there.”

Perry knew about my uncanny fertility-related ability. I was better predicting my period; I could pinpoint when that’d come a week ahead of time to within a couple hours. But with popping out an egg there was a whole day’s window, and I never knew exactly in that twenty-four hours when it was going to happen until I felt it. Like now.

“What the fuck is that?”

Come on, Stephen. Perry was on the pill, but surely he knew a little something about—what the fuck is that?

“My Box o’ Porn.” Perry had the box opened and was littering the table with DVDs. The food dishes were pushed off to the side. I picked one up: Sensual Sexcapades.

“That’s a sweet one, Jills. Now if you want something kinky….” She handed me Boning with the Babcocks.

“Where the fuck did this stuff come from, Perry?” Stephen looked extremely confused.

“I had a life before I knew you, you know.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Long story.”

“I have time.”

“Geez. We’re not here to talk about me today.” She went over and gave him a kiss, plopping in his lap. “Don’t worry, baby. I haven’t given any of this a second thought since I met you. You know how you do it for me, and then some.”

“Perry, where have you been keeping all this?”

She shrugged. “Where do I keep anything?”

I held my hand over my mouth, shaking my head. “How old are these?” The laughter bubbled out. “Is this John Holmes?” I held up a case that was so scratched up the title was illegible. “That’s before your time.”

“And how do you know about 70s porn stars, Jills? Hmm?”

“How do you know, Perry?” Stephen asked her.

Chase showed me a copy of Bend me over, Bobby, and I giggled even more at the obvious housewife on the cover vacuuming naked. “Why did you bring these out here?”

“Two birds, one stone. Since I didn’t want them, I figured the guys could give them to Daniel when he comes over. Kinda like a rite of passage thing because you know… he hasn’t experienced this stuff before.”

“That’s a horrible idea,” I said. “And what is he supposed to do? Bring them home and pop one right into the player in the family room?”

“Just thought…. Yeah, I guess it wasn’t one of my better ideas. I can’t be spot-on every time. That’d be scary.” She whacked Stephen and pointed at Chase. “But this just means all the male-bonding crap is totally up to you two now.”

Neither of them said anything because really, there were no words. I tossed her the movies, and she stacked them back into the box.

Maybe I could drop them off somewhere with the vibrators.