Meet me at our rock later?

I was finishing up a work call, a courtesy follow-up for one of the FAs I’d recently placed at Barclay Schmit, when Chase’s text had come in.

What time?

Six?

I’ll be there. Can’t wait.

I stared out the window of my sunroom/home office and wondered how I’d get any work done for the rest of the day. My mind would be too occupied playing elsewhere. I’d already exerted enough willpower sitting at a desk all morning, and it was becoming tougher and tougher to feel the sun’s warmth through the glass instead of directly on my skin. It was the last Friday in April, and it was gorgeous out.

Me neither. Come hungry.

Hmm… that could mean several things.

For?

Careful, Miss Hudson. You’ve already racked up enough detentions to last you until next year.

I wasn’t planning on stopping until I reached forever.

Be sure what you wish for. You just might get it.

My heart did its little happy dance whenever I pictured our future together. It was getting easier and easier for me, and that was all because of Chase. His love, his patience, his steadfastness—after a while, it couldn’t help but rub off.

It’d been nearly three weeks since Daniel had started his new job, and according to him, he was adjusting very well. Thriving. He was still at home, still looking and saving for a place of his own, still with Cassie. I couldn’t win ’em all, but at least he hadn’t shacked up with her yet. He’d purchased a used truck, something much more reliable than Mike’s heap of junk, and I was reminded of another thing to be thankful for: It wasn’t a minivan.

I did my best not to drive myself crazy thinking of her too often. Knowing she was my son’s girlfriend made me no less nauseated, but I truly felt at a standstill. Perry kept coming up with different schemes to boot her out of our lives, but I didn’t want to jeopardize my relationship with Daniel. We were close, and I wanted to keep it that way. I was stuck, it sucked, and I had to be mature enough to deal with it. All I could do was hope that time killed them off. They’d been together roughly seven weeks, and I ignored all the things I was doing way younger than him with my boyfriend at seven weeks.

Instead, I focused on Chase. He was my rock. Where once I’d only thought of him in those terms physically, he’d now entrenched himself even more deeply as my support system. What really cinched it for me was his patience regarding Daniel, his willingness to get to know him and be a part of his life without bitterness. Son or not, Daniel was still another man who had come between us, even temporarily. Things had changed when he came home, but Chase showed me nothing but understanding, never once making the slightest indication that I had to choose. If he had, I think I would have lost my sanity. I couldn’t imagine a more hellish decision.

Thank God, it never came to that. I had both men in my life and in my heart, and I intended to keep it that way. Hence the reluctant tolerance for Cassie. I could throw up in my mouth discreetly.

I went into the kitchen and pulled an iced coffee out of the fridge. I had a bad taste to wash away. Even the juice from a sardine can would be an improvement. I cracked open the bottle and chugged half of it down, giving me a nice instant caffeine boost. I placed it back next to the carton of eggs Chase and I had dyed a couple weeks back. I didn’t plan on eating them, but we’d had so much fun, I couldn’t toss them away just yet. They also reminded me of how far we’d come. Back in summer, I was adamant that we’d never make it to Easter, and now we’d passed it, stronger than ever.

Maybe it wouldn’t be eggs, but I had to put a little something in my rumbly stomach since Perry’d been too tied up at work to take a lunch. I’d decided to just work through, and now it was nearly two.

I grabbed a handful of almonds to tide me over and returned to my desk, disregarding all the singing birds outside my screen window teasing me. I faced the computer and got back to work. I had another four hours to go until I met Chase. If he wanted me hungry, I’d be hungry. For anything.

I smiled. Can’t wait.

I parked in St. Mary’s lot and headed for the concrete path that circled the hospital. It was going to be a prime night for lying on the rock. The temperature had dropped a few degrees from the midday’s high of seventy, but the sky was clear and once the night came, we’d be treated to a starry light show.

I entered the woods, wondering if Chase was already waiting for me since I was several minutes early. It didn’t take long to get my answer. As soon as I got to the clearing, my heart skipped a beat and then went into overdrive when I saw him sitting there, dinner spread out over the flat surface. God, I was such a sapsucker, but with him, it was impossible not to be.

He smiled wide upon seeing me too, jumping off the rock and coming to meet me. His lips covered mine, all softness and sweetness. “Are we skipping dinner and going right to dessert?” I asked when he moved over to my neck.

“Don’t tempt me, Wild Horses.”

“Mmm….”

“Are you hungry?”

My stomach responded for me, and we laughed. “Come on, before it gets too cold.”

As we stepped closer, the aroma hit me harder, making my mouth water. I smelled heat and spice and… “Zydecki’s?”

“Yep. I hope that’ll do for tonight.”

“Are you kidding me? It sounds incredible.”

He lifted the lid off my favorite incinerating shrimp pasta from our favorite restaurant, and I’m pretty sure I moaned. He raised an eyebrow. “Should I be jealous?”

I wrapped my arms around him. “This is perfect, Chase. Thank you.” It wasn’t like our restaurant was close by. It would’ve taken him over an hour round trip to get this food. “I can’t believe you went there just for takeout.”

“I had it in warmers, so it should still be pretty good.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’d eat this frozen.”

He chuckled, gripping my waist and setting me on the rock freshly kissed. I sat cross-legged and picked up my plate, inhaling the deliciousness. I was in absolute heaven.

I waited for him to settle next to me before twirling my fork in the pasta. I raised my hand to take a bite, but he stopped me.

“A quick toast first.”

I placed the fork back down, telling my cursing stomach to behave, and smiled at him. “Thank you again, “I said.

“Don’t you want to hear the toast first? Maybe you’ll want to slap me instead.”

“God, I hope so.”

He grinned, handing me a bottle of Spotted Cow. He popped it open and then picked up his own, clinking it to mine. “To forever, Jillian.”

“To forever,” I repeated. Simple and meaningful. Utopia.

We dug in after that, and the first bite was divine. The second was even better. My mouth was on fire, but the beer was ice cold, and the two together made the ideal marriage.

“I think their food is just as good as anything we had in New Orleans,” I said.

“Then I guess we don’t need to go back.”

I bumped shoulders with him. “Yeah, right. Next time we’re going for a week.”

“It’s a date.” I tried mumbling my agreement through a mouthful, but it didn’t work out too well. “Unless you have a policy against dating younger men or something,” he teased.

“Hmm… I think for you I’ll make an exception.”

“Lucky me.”

“No, lucky me.” I touched my lips to his after he took a sip of beer, cooling mine off. “Seriously, Chase. I can’t believe you did all this for me. We’ve never had a picnic here before. I love it.”

“Compared to everything I want to do for you, Jillian? This is nothing.”

I slowly chewed another forkful, wondering where we’d go from there. Nature abhors a vacuum, as they stay. As beautiful as the moment was, there was always something else to take its place, but I didn’t want to be spending this time with him feeling like I was in philosophy class. Yes, we’d change just like everything else, but as long as it was for the better, bring it on.

He hadn’t brought up the kid thing again, and I was starting to think it was just a spontaneous conversation spurred on by hormones and emotions. I figured that if it was important to him, he’d let me know. I wasn’t sure how I’d respond yet if he did, but I owed it to him to at least discuss it.

We quietly ate our food for a while before he asked, “Do you remember the first time we went to Zydecki’s?”

“Of course I do. Our first nondate.”

“Oh, it was a date. You just didn’t know it at the time.”

“Is that so? A little cocky, were you?”

He snatched a shrimp off my plate. “I knew you’d be mine someday, even if I didn’t know how or what we’d have to go through to get there.”

“I’m so glad we’re done with that part.”

“I don’t know… I thought it was pretty hilarious when I was sitting across from you at the table, and your face started turning white and flaking off before my eyes.”

I elbowed him. “You did not.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I was kinda freaked out, thinking the woman I was falling in love with was really part zombie. That would’ve given a whole new meaning to the word ‘forever.’”

I dropped my head. “God, I was mortified when I saw myself in the bathroom mirror. Up until then, I was having such a great time. Wearing my magic lavender dress and eating wonderful food and debating music with you. And you in that suit… wow. When you came to my door, it took a lot not to cancel and keep you there all to myself.”

“You have me all to yourself whether we’re in public or not.”

“I know that now, but then…. All those women flirting with you. Even coming out of the bathroom that night after fixing my face, our waitress was hanging over you, slipping you her number. It seemed to happen everywhere, and it made me crazy.”

I’d never experienced such jealousy as I had with Chase. Before then, I didn’t think that side of me existed, and it took me so long to even acknowledge it to myself. But thankfully by that time, Chase had proven his love many times over, and it suddenly didn’t matter how many young, perky twentysomethings bounced in and out of our path. He wasn’t chasing after them, and that was all I needed to know.

“It works both ways, beautiful. It took a lot of restraint on my part not to kick your ex-husband’s ass when we came back to your house after that dinner and he was drunk on the couch.”

“You and me both.”

He snaked his arm around my waist and tugged me against him. “In fact, I pretty much feel that way about any man who looks at you with improper intentions.”

“Improper intentions?”

He brushed his lips over the bottom of my neck, so lightly it tickled. “I was being polite, Jillian. Any man who doesn’t respect that you’re mine, who even thinks about fucking you or treating you as if he has the right to lay his eyes on you, is not going to sit well with me. That’s also putting it politely.”

Yeah, Chase had an even stronger jealous side, and he wasn’t afraid to show it.

I traced along his jaw, scratching my fingertips. “It means so much to me that you and Daniel are getting along.”

“So far, so good, baby.” He took my hand and kissed each finger. “I think he accepts me in your life well enough, and that’s as good as I can ask for right now. He knows how I feel about you and that I’m not going anywhere. Everything else will come in time.”

“I agree.”

They’d only managed to get together the once with Stephen; the rest were brief times either at the house or sometimes during family meals when Daniel could make it. I wasn’t looking for them to become good friends or for Chase to be thought of as a father figure—both scenarios felt a little on the strange side to me—but I did want there to be mutual respect and admiration between them.

As he said, so far, so good.

“What next?” I asked. “For tonight, I mean.”

“Now I rip off your clothes and spread you over this rock, so I can lick your pussy until you’re screaming those vocals I can’t get enough of.” My mouth dropped, and he caressed my bottom lip. “Sounds tempting, doesn’t it, Jillian?” I nodded and he chuckled. “Unfortunately, it’ll have to wait. We’ve been lucky so far in this spot, but I’m not taking any chances with you.”

“Tease,” I said, knowing that he was absolutely right, but he didn’t need to work me up first. It didn’t take much. “Can we stay here until we can see the stars?”

“I’m planning on it.”

It wouldn’t be much longer; the sun was rapidly dropping, along with the temperature. He brought me into his lap and wrapped me in his arms, warming me right up. He rested his chin on my shoulder.

“We definitely need to do this more often,” I said.

“Agreed. But there’ll never be another night like this one.”

“What does that—”

My cell dinged in my purse. I decided to ignore it. A few minutes later it dinged again. Then again. And again. I was about to toss my purse into the trees.

“Aren’t you going to check that?”

“No. If it’s important, they’ll call not text.” We had nowhere we needed to be or anyone we needed to see that night except each other.

Chase’s phone went off next. “Someone’s trying to get a hold of us, Jillian.” He grabbed it, holding it in front of us so we could both see the screen.

Is Jills with you? Sorry to bother you, but she needs to check her phone. It’s important.

I groaned. “Correction. Someone’s trying to get a hold of me.”

I dug into my purse, not understanding why Perry thought important equaled texting, and displayed the screen in front of us as Chase had done.

At the movies, can’t call. Okay, mystery solved. Mike texted me. He’s trying to reach you. He saw your car at St. Mary’s and can’t find you. He’s there too with Candace. She’s in pain. He didn’t go into details, but I said I’d get a hold of you. I didn’t tell him why you’re there. I’ll leave and call soon if you don’t respond.

Shit, she’s in pain? She wasn’t out of her first trimester yet. What if there were problems with the baby? Lots of scary thoughts went through my head. This was Daniel’s little brother or sister, after all.

“That doesn’t sound good, Jillian. You should probably go in and find out what’s going on.”

“I know,” I said softly.

Thanks, I’m on my way in now, I texted Perry.

Keep me posted xoxo.

“Come with me?” I asked.

“I can’t leave all this here. You go ahead.”

“It’s just food. We’ll come back and get it later.”

He kissed me, picking me up and planting me on the ground. “We don’t want to attract every animal in the forest. No, I’ll clean it up now, and we’ll find each other later. It might be better for you to go in alone anyway, until we find out more details. Now go. I know you, Jillian. You don’t want to ignore this.”

No, I didn’t. I felt connected to the baby since it was also a part of Daniel. And even if it weren’t, I’d never wish something like this upon anyone.

“Okay.” I gave him another quick kiss and darted back out to the path.

It wasn’t until I was wandering around the hospital lobby that I realized I’d forgotten to take my purse, with my cell tucked away inside it. That was fine; Chase would take care of it.

The front desk was unmanned, and I figured it was because of the later hour. I didn’t see Mike anywhere. I scanned the directory, looking for obstetrics. It was on the third floor. I hopped on the elevator and went up. If a pregnant woman was in pain, I assumed that was where she’d be.

I stepped off, taking a brief walk around, still not seeing Mike. I went to the desk, which fortunately had someone behind it.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a Candace….” Shit, what was her last name again? “She’s almost three months along and in some kind of pain. That’s all I know.”

“Do you have the last name?”

“No, sorry. But this would’ve been recently, within hours I’m guessing. I know she’s here, but I don’t have any details. Sorry,” I apologized again. I should’ve texted Mike back first and at least got some details. “Oh, the baby’s father is Dr. Michael Hudson. He’s here on occasion, shoulder surgeon.” As if any of that mattered.

“So, the last name is Hudson?”

“No. Just the father, not the mother.”

I could see her eyes scanning over the computer screen. “There wasn’t anyone admitted recently on this floor with the first name of Candace.” She looked up at me. “Could she be in a different area, getting treated for something unrelated to the pregnancy?”

Shit, I hadn’t thought of that. But then why would Mike be trying to get a hold of me? “I’m sorry, I really don’t know.”

“If we had the last name, I could check the system.”

“Okay, thanks for your time. I’ll try to find something out.”

I circled the entire wing, peeking in room windows but not getting a good view of anything. I suppose the dark curtains were there for a reason. I was starting to get antsy. I went back down to the main lobby and did another check around for Mike. Too much time had already passed with me getting nowhere, so I headed back to the woods.

I came upon the clearing, and it was empty. No Chase in sight. Argh. I had no idea where he parked because I hadn’t seen his car when I first pulled in. Hmm… my car. Maybe he was waiting for me there with my purse? He had my keys too. I wouldn’t be getting too far without them.

I jogged back, nearly tripping over a fallen log and faceplanting into the brush. I quickly righted myself from the stumble and made it back to the car. I sighed. It was also Chase-less.

Now I was just plain old frustrated. I still had concern about Candace, but if it was a serious pregnancy-related issue, wouldn’t she be admitted?

I pushed through the lobby doors once again and took another jaunt around the first floor. I finally found him, sitting in the TV lounge area, head down to his phone.

“Mike?”

“Jillian.” He stood up. “I’m so glad to see you.”

“Oh my God, Mike. What’s going on with Candace? Is she okay?”

“I need you to talk to her. She’s been in the car for hours and won’t come out and—”

“What do you mean in the car? What is she doing there?”

“I’ve been trying to tell you. She won’t come out. She’s scared, won’t talk to me, won’t listen to me. I don’t know what to do. I need you to try getting through to her.”

I was trying my damnedest to follow along. “Did something happen… to the baby?”

“The baby? Oh no, the baby’s fine. It’s Candace who’s freaking out. She refuses to give me back the car keys, and what am I supposed to do? Wrestle them away from a pregnant lady?”

“You said she’s in pain, Mike. What’s going on?”

“Yeah, emotional pain, and I don’t know what—”

I punched him hard in the arm, wanting to aim for the face. Maybe break a nose.

“Ow! Why do you do shit like that?”

“You fucking jerk, Mike,” I hissed quietly through my teeth. I didn’t need an audience, but I was fucking pissed. “You made me worry for nothing? I was with Chase, and you called me away because, what, she’s mad at you? What the fuck?”

“Jesus, Jillian. Calm down.” He glanced around. “How was I supposed to know what you were doing? I just saw your car here. Was he admitted? Perry didn’t mention anything.” His jaw dropped. “No, don’t tell me… you’re not pregnant too, are you?”

“No, Mike. Not that it’s any of your damn business. I’m leaving.”

He grabbed hold of my arm. “Can you just give me a minute to explain? Please?”

Fuck. I needed my phone. “Give me your phone first, and then I’ll give you that minute.”

He handed it over, and I typed out a text to Chase: Texting from Mike’s phone. So sorry, false alarm. Please meet me in the main lobby by the front doors.

I deleted all record of the message so Mike wouldn’t have Chase’s number, then set it back in his hand. “Okay, go.”

“She had an appointment earlier today, just a routine visit. Everything’s going great, but she just lost it, Jillian. Started crying hysterically and saying she didn’t think her body could handle any more. I couldn’t even touch her without her wanting to slap me. I thought this kind of shit only happened during labor.”

I scrubbed my hands over my face. “God, Mike. She’s growing a whole new person inside her. How can you not understand that? Just the amount of hormones involved. Maybe if you gave her a little more support, she’d have an easier time.”

“I know, Jillian. I’m getting better, I swear. I think… I think I’ll be okay.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, because this is all about you, right?”

“I didn’t mean it that way. Just that the easier it’s getting for me, the harder it seems to be getting for her. She just wants to cry all the time. Says she’s afraid of getting fat and ugly. Feels like her body is breaking apart or something and she’s not even showing yet. I’m not female, Jillian. I don’t understand this shit. I mean, women have been doing this forever. It’s not like she’s the first one ever to have a baby.”

“Let me guess, Mike. That’s exactly what you told her too.” He gave me a blank look that had ‘guilty’ stamped all over it. I sent up a silent Thank you, God that I never experienced pregnancy with him. “You are such a frickin’ idiot. No wonder why she won’t talk to you.”

“Like the name-calling is going to help right now, Jillian. I just need you to talk to her, okay? Tell her it’s going to be okay. I know you’ve never been pregnant, but you’ll know what to say much better than me. And you’re about the same age, so maybe she can relate to you in some way. You’re in better shape though, so maybe you can give her some tips to feel more confident or—” My ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ look seemed to shut him up. “All I know is that I’m running out of options here, Jillian. And… and I’m sorry before for calling you a December. You’re not, more like, um, an October.”

I shook my head. I was married to this guy for seventeen years? What the hell was the matter with me? It just proved how much I loved Daniel. It also helped that he wasn’t around much.

I felt for Candace, I really did. “Okay, Mike. I will speak to her, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t tell her to leave your sorry ass. You need to change your attitude and damn soon. I don’t care what is going through your head. You need to tell her how beautiful she is even if you feel you have to lie. Because she needs to hear it, every fucking day. No, twice a day. You need to make up for lost time. She needs to know that you’ll support her unconditionally. She may not be the first woman to go through it, but it’s a first for her, and that’s a major fucking deal, so stop being such an insensitive asshole and just be there for her.”

He raked his hands through his hair. “You’re right. I just never had to deal with this either, you know?”

I felt myself soften. But just a tad. Daniel’s mother was barely around while pregnant, disappearing for large chunks of time before taking off for good and leaving their son with Mike when he was just eighteen months old. If it weren’t for the paternity test, I would have seriously doubted he was even the father.

“Look,” I said, “I know when the baby comes you’ll be a good father. I saw that with Daniel. But what you need to realize is that you’re already a father to this baby now, and the best parenting you can do is to take care of the mother. Don’t let her go through this on her own.”

He nodded, and I prayed something was finally starting to sink in. I didn’t tell him that I really hoped this baby was another boy because he was frickin’ clueless when it came to women.

“Chase is waiting for me, so I’m going to talk to him first, and then I’ll go out and see Candace.”

“Thank you, Jillian.”

We walked back to the front entrance, and my heart leaped upon seeing Chase there, trying to reach him before my legs could. I walked over quickly and gave him a huge hug. “I’ll explain everything later, but I’m so sorry our night was ruined.”

He flicked his eyes over to Mike. “Are you done here now?” he asked.

“I said I’d talk to Candace a bit. Then I’m done. She’s waiting in the car. The baby’s fine and…. It’d be easier just to explain later.”

I took Chase’s hand. “Where’d you park, Mike?”

He pointed out the door. “Not too far from you.”

We pushed through the revolving door and into the night. The stars were just as I thought, perfectly visible all around us, but this was not how I envisioned seeing them.

After we got a few rows into the parking lot, I heard Mike say, “What the hell?”

“What’s the matter?”

“She… she left? Without me?”

I almost told him he also deserved to get run over in the process but held back because of that dejected look on his face.

“Ah, Jillian? Do you think you could give me a ride home?”

What? Hasn’t he ever heard of a cab? No, I’m not going to—

“I’ll give you a ride,” Chase said, shocking the shit out of me. “I have my car here too. In the back.”

Yeah, um… just a wild guess here, but probably not the best idea. I squeezed Chase’s hand, and he gave me a glance. “It’s no problem, Jillian. Didn’t you say that Daniel would be home around seven?”

“Well, yeah, but….” What did that have to do with anything? I’d already planned to be with Chase that night.

He handed me my purse. “You can get home and spend some time with him. Don’t worry. I’ve got this.”

“Um….” He reached down and gave me a kiss. A long kiss. A deep kiss. A ‘don’t fuck with what’s mine’ kiss.

When he pulled his lips away, I was a bit dazed. Mike was completely silent. I was still figuring out which end was up when I got into my car. As they walked away, I wanted to yell out and stop them. It couldn’t have been good that Mike even agreed to go. What if they seriously got into it? But in the end, I stopped worrying. Chase could handle his own, and Mike… well, he could probably learn a lesson or two from a real man.

The traffic was light, and I made it home in record time. Daniel wasn’t there, but he was coming from Chicago and was hitting rush hour on top of construction. Or maybe he’d made a pit stop first. A tall, blonde one. I gave myself a pat on the back. I could’ve called her a flea-bitten ho-bag instead, but I’d refrained.

I went from the garage to basement as usual and was rounding the corner to go up the steps when I noticed the rec room light on. I detoured over to shut it off. I had to go into the room since it was the far switch, picking up an empty can of Diet Coke that was sitting in the corner. Daniel must’ve missed it when I asked him to clean up after his party last month.

Everything looked pretty tidy down there, but while I was at it, I figured it couldn’t hurt to check around and make sure there wasn’t any garbage to get rid of. I stuck my hands in the couch cushions and peeked underneath. All clear. Then I looked behind. I reached down to grab an empty cracker box.

On closer inspection in the light, it wasn’t a cracker box at all. It was a Kleenex box. And it wasn’t empty.

I’d found my missing condoms.