Pregnant?

“I mean, I think I am.”

I stared into her gorgeous face streaming with tears. “Jillian,” I said softly.

“Oh God, Chase. I don’t know. But I’m almost positive I am. I hadn’t really thought about it much until today, and what I thought was my period was likely implantation spotting because it correlated around the same time and I got my ovulation twinge that same night I said I wanted a baby and I’d misjudged everything because I was so stressed, and then I felt so safe with you and you loved me so soft and so hard and—”

She gulped in a breath, and I did the same. I hadn’t been able to follow a single word. She had me at ‘pregnant.’ I was lost to everything else.

“You… you haven’t taken a test yet?”

“No, I….” She looked so dazed. I set down my guitar and pulled her against me. My life would never be the same, and I fucking couldn’t be happier.

“Jillian.” I palmed the back of her head, stroking her hair as she pressed into me. I needed her fully there with me, or I’d sail off as well. We needed to anchor each other, or I’d fucking start crying along with her.

“You trusted me, Chase. With everything in you. You trusted me to know my body enough to know when it was safe. What if you hadn’t wanted a baby? What if—”

“No,” I said. Fuck no. She was not going there. I couldn’t hold her hard enough, but I didn’t want to hurt her. Hurt the baby. Holy fuck, my world was spinning. “There are no what-ifs. There is only fucking amazing. There is only right now, and we want this. I want this. Oh fuck, Jillian. Tell me you want this too.”

It hadn’t even crossed my mind until that instant. Her off mood all day. Was she having doubts? Second thoughts? I had never felt so high and out of control.

“I still want a baby. It’s just the timing. It happened so fast. I wasn’t prepared. We never discussed it properly. We never sat down for that serious conversation to plan it all out.”

I started to laugh. Thank fuck.

She pulled her head back. “How is this funny?”

“It’s not funny. Those are happy laughs, baby.” I gave her a dozen kisses all over her face. “You can’t always plan everything. Sometimes things just happen, but they turn out to be the best thing you could ever imagine.”

Holy fuck.

It really hit me then. Jillian is having my child. At least she believed so. I was in such a rush I couldn’t think straight. I wanted it so badly. I had to know. I had to know that very moment.

“We have to take that test, Jillian.”

“I know. We will soon.”

“No, I mean now.”

“Now?” She looked at me funny. “Even if we were in an appropriate place, I think it’s still too early yet to get an accurate result.”

“You think, or you know?”

My heart was pounding so hard. My world was still spinning at warp speed, but it was a ride I never wanted to fucking get off.

“I think, but—”

I slipped the ring onto her finger and she glanced down at it. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t answered me yet; that’s where it belonged.

“Then give me a good reason why we shouldn’t,” I said.

I was sure I could find a drugstore somewhere. It didn’t appear that we were needed for any more rehearsal shit. I didn’t even know where Perry and Stephen were. I was riding an extreme buzz; a kid jacked up at Christmastime. I could easily slip out unnoticed, but I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Jillian—I wouldn’t do it. But it’d also be too reckless to take her with me, considering the fucking crazed trip I was on.

“Chase?” Jillian touched my jaw.

Fuck. I rested my forehead on hers. “Sorry, baby. I lost it there for a minute. I’ve never done this before.”

She laughed. “Me neither.”

“Another first for us.” I cupped her face and looked into her bright blue eyes. Could she see how fucking happy I was?

“Even though the right test could be accurate, it’d be better to wait a few more days, okay?” I nodded. “If we do it now, we could get a false negative. I don’t want to go through that.”

That was when I saw everything I felt reflected back to me. Staring into her eyes was like staring into a mirror. She wanted this child just as much as I did, and she couldn’t handle getting her hopes crushed for even a short while.

I pulled her more deeply into my lap. I needed to focus, remain solid for her. All while feeling as fucking giddy as a schoolgirl.

“What if I’m not pregnant, Chase?” she whispered.

“Then it’ll happen next time.” I ran my fingers over her stomach. “But what do you feel? I trust you, Jillian. In this quiet moment, what is your body telling you?”

She didn’t answer right away. I cradled her in my arms, holding her as much for me as for her. It kept me grounded. I was flying so high, never having experienced anything so surreal. We’d have to wait for official confirmation, but I already knew the answer in my gut. It’d all happened sooner than expected, but bring it on. I was ready.

“I feel I’m pregnant.”

“I believe that too, baby,” I said.

When you know, you know.

I caught her gazing down at the ring again, and I brought her hand to my lips. “I’ll say it again—some of the best things aren’t planned. I tried so many times to put together the perfect proposal for you. Waited for the right moment that never seemed to happen. Until I remembered that we’re the ones who make the perfect moment. It doesn’t make us. I wasn’t planning on asking you to marry me today. I only saw a chance and took it. And you know what, Jillian? It was still fucking perfect.”

“It was perfect, Chase.” She stroked her finger over the stone. “But… I don’t understand. You had the ring with you.”

“I’ve carried it with me for a while now. Even longer than that, I’ve known what I wanted. You as my wife.”

“And the song?”

“You don’t think my biggest fan deserves a song of her own?” I smiled, taking her hand in mine. “I changed the ending for the occasion. Would you like to hear the original?”

“Yes. But not now. Right now, I want to remember it as is.”

I tilted up her chin so she’d look at me. “Will you marry me, Jillian?”

“There could only ever be one possible answer.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “Yes. God, Chase, yes.”

I tasted her sweet lips, feeling the wetness on my skin as she cried against me. What a day. I was in a fucking dream.

She moved back, wiping her cheeks with the side of her hand. “Happy tears,” she said, laughing.

“I know, baby.”

She brought the lantern closer, shining it on her ring. I looked forward to her seeing it in the morning light. “An amethyst. I love purple.” She smiled wide.

I laughed hard. Fucking giddy. “I know.”

“It matches my dress.” She set the lantern aside and leaned back into me. “I wonder how long until I’m not able to fit into it anymore.”

“I can’t wait to find out.” I kissed along the side of her neck. “I told you I’d make you feel so good you’d never want anything between us ever again.”

She giggled, trembling under my touch as I heated her skin with my mouth. The fact alone that she was carrying my child was sexy as fuck. If she started moaning for me too, we’d never get off this hill.

“We’re going to need to use protection again eventually, just not for a while.”

I started down the other side of her neck. She smelled so fucking good. “Why? Who says we can’t have more?”

“Chase!” She slapped my arm, laughing. “Let’s get through one at a time, okay?”

I chuckled. Yeah, I was getting ahead of myself, but…. Surreal. What a fucking mind-blowing day. My passion, my entire heart was wrapped in my arms, and the good was never going to stop coming.

“Do you know what another first is for us? Marrying the one you were meant to be with. I’m so happy, Chase.”

She choked up at the end, expressing what I also felt deeply. “So am I, beautiful.” Although, ‘happy’ was much too tame a word to describe what I was experiencing.

“You know, people might think we’re only getting married because of the baby.”

I smiled. “Since when do you care what other people think?”

She burst out laughing, spinning forward and circling her arms around my neck. I fucking loved this woman. She’d come a long way to get to this point. To see our relationship through our eyes and no one else’s.

“What kind of wedding do you want?” I asked.

“Hmm… something very small and private. As long as you’re there, everything else is irrelevant.”

“I’ll always be there.” I gathered her hair in my hands and brought her lips to mine. It amazed me that we’d already managed so much time away from the others. It was certainly long enough to raise questions. I had good reason to think that Perry had a hand in giving us our privacy. Yeah, I was definitely fortunate to have her in my corner.

“This is as small and private as it comes,” I said. “The officiant is still here. We could ask him to marry us tonight.”

“What?”

“We both know what we want. I see no reason to drag out the engagement.”

She laughed. “This isn’t Vegas, Chase. There’s a waiting period for the license.”

The more I thought about it, the more I fucking loved the idea.

“We can exchange our vows now and do the paperwork later. It wouldn’t be legit until then, but to us, this would be our day.”

A coworker of mine had done something similar. She’d had her ceremony overseas, then filed for the license and handled all the legalities after returning home. I knew it was possible, even if I didn’t know if the officiant would be willing. But it was worth more than a shot to find out.

“But....” She flicked her eyes up and I could tell she was considering it.

“We could even do it again later for everyone else, but this day would just be for us.”

She planted her baby blues on me and smiled. “The opposite of practical.”

Her eyes misted and I palmed the sides of her face. “Yes, Jillian. Not practical but passionate. Unplanned and—”

“Perfect,” she finished.

We exchanged vows that night. Up on the hill and under the stars. Only Perry and Stephen had witnessed the simple ceremony. It felt over before it started, but the promise we made to each other couldn’t have been more meaningful, more lyrical.

I’d be making it legal as soon as the state allowed, but this would always be known as the day I made her mine forever.

Our day to celebrate the unexpected.

Good thing we had many more unplanned days ahead of us. We’d never stop making those perfect moments because we’d never stop loving each other.

Fortunately, forever was a long time.