I was six and a half months pregnant and finally started showing. I was beginning to wonder if there was even a baby in there, and then one day, I woke up and there it was. I blossomed overnight. After I had given VIP to Brooke, I went on a sabbatical, so to speak. I spent time alone, just the baby and me. I went back to my hometown and showed the baby where I came from. It was silly since the baby was still in my stomach, but it helped nonetheless. It was like closing a chapter of my life that would never be reopened. I wouldn’t be like any of them. I knew that now.
I had come so far from the broken home I grew up in. To look at it with my baby inside of me was therapeutic. I would never let anyone hurt him or her. This baby was mine. I created something amazing out of pure love, and to know that it was living inside of me, nothing compared to that or even came close. The bond that I had formed with my little person was endless.
Just like my love for Sebastian.
I knew what I did was wrong. I never claimed to be a perfect person. I’m far from it. I had accepted my mistakes and all I could do was pray that he would forgive me. I needed to love myself and know who that person truly was. It took me leaving…running…to find that there was no place like home. It was with him all along. I always knew who I was when I was with him; I just didn’t realize it until it was too late. Words could not describe how messed up I was. I never came up for air. Not one time after I left VIP. I thought leaving the first time I would be miraculously healed. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
It was just the beginning.
I had no ties to VIP anymore, and I think a part of me always knew that something was holding me back; I just didn’t know what it was until it all came to light. It may have been one of the worst memories of my life, but it was also one of the happiest. I didn’t have to wonder who I was anymore.
I wasn’t a VIP.
I wasn’t Lilith’s granddaughter.
I wasn’t my mom’s child.
I was Ysa. I was going to be a mom. I was going to have a baby and I couldn’t have been more excited. I had a best friend who would do anything for me. And I had a sister that, no matter what, was my ride or die girl.
All that was missing was…
Sebastian.
I was just a woman in love with a man who was my everything. The baby growing inside of me was a miracle and I knew that God put him or her in my life for a reason. Everything in life happens for a reason.
And he was my reason.
Always and forever.
“All right, little person, if you would like to be absolutely adorable right now, it might help. Feel free to kick and move around inside me, especially if you hear your daddy’s voice. Maybe if he tries to touch my belly, you could kick or something,” I said, rubbing my stomach as I drove my car.
“I know that I have messed up so much of your life already and you’re not even born yet. I’m sorry about that. Your daddy should have been able to watch you grow while you’ve been inside me, but I promise to make up for it for the rest of your life. I promise to be the best mom I can be. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have no idea what I am doing. From what I have been told, though…most moms don’t. We’re supposed to learn as we go or something. I think that might be a load of…shiii…poo…I think moms just tell other moms that so that we’re not freaking out from something coming out of our vaginas, and we don’t know what to do with them once they’re real people.” I rubbed my belly some more.
“I never thought I would enjoy being pregnant. That’s been a nice surprise. You have made it pretty easy and soothing. You must get that from your daddy. He was always able to comfort me when I didn’t know I needed it. He’s the best man I know and he is going to be an amazing father to you. I wish I could tell you that we’re going to get a happily ever after, but I can promise you that I will always be here for you. No matter what. You have a lot of people who are waiting for your arrival; you’re going to have so much love around you. I promise. I love you so much. I hope you know that.”
I pulled up to the estate and there were moving trucks parked right in front. I wanted to break down and cry, but the baby kicked me. I smiled and laughed, taking it as a sign to keep going. Chance, of course, went barreling out of the car and into the house.
I swear I need to teach that dog some manners.
I followed him inside, hoping to start a new chapter in my life. I found Sebastian in his office. He was on his knees, petting Chance, and stood up when he saw me leaning on the doorframe.
“I specifically told my attorneys to advise you when I would be here so that I didn’t have to see you.”
“Right…you’re supposed to meet with the new owner.”
“Yeah.” He nodded, staring at my belly.
“I’m the new owner,” I acknowledged.
He looked back up at me. “That’s why the buyer wanted to keep all their information private.”
“Mmm hmm…”
We stood there for a few minutes, neither one of us saying anything. When he started walking over to me, I thought I was going to pass out from the anticipation of what he was going to say or do. He stopped when we were a few inches apart.
“Can I?” he asked, pointing to my stomach.
“Of course.”
As soon as he placed his hand on my belly, the baby kicked, and we both looked at each other wide-eyed.
“Oh my God, it recognizes you and listens to me,” I excitingly stated.
“It?” he questioned, never moving his hand from the kicking little person inside me.
“I don’t know the sex yet. I didn’t want to find out alone.”
He sadly smiled and kneeled down, placing both his hands on the side of my growing belly.
“Hey…I’m your daddy. I can’t wait to meet you. I love you so much,” he whispered just loud enough for me to hear.
My emotions and hormones were all over the place. I cried all the time about random things, and I was never a crier. Tears fell down my face; I couldn’t stop them.
And just when I thought I had a chance…we had a chance.
“Sebastian, what do you want me to do with this?” an attractive woman asked, coming out of our old bedroom.
Then it was gone…
This was the worst memory of my life.
I’ve told you since the beginning that this wasn’t a love story but a story about love. I’ve been asked several times if it was all worth it. I used to answer that question the same way—if it’s all you’ve ever known, then you don’t know what to expect.
Not anymore.
I didn’t regret one thing.
It all led me back right where I belonged.