Chapter Thirty-Four
Iris
My bags were thankfully untouched when I stepped back into the apartment cautiously Thursday morning. The only sign that Bailey had stayed the night was the pizza box on the kitchen counter along with an empty cereal bowl with milk in it still.
I resisted the urge to clean it up. I was done trying to clean up other people’s messes. Instead, I spent the next hour packing up what I could into the back of my car. The hour drive back to my mother’s house again was the last thing I wanted to do after moving, but I had to do it.
I had nowhere else to go.
“This is why I don’t trust relationships,” I grumbled out loud, closing the trunk door to my car. “Eventually, someone either betrays you, or just lets you get away without even a fight.”
That stung worse than Bailey. It was vividly clear that the dean only cared about Noah’s wellbeing out of all of it because he was famous. He already had lived a good life, and the dean wanted that around his students as an example.
Some fucking example Noah turned out to be.
I snorted under my breath as I climbed the stairs to get the rest of my bags. After grabbing a few more things, I closed the apartment door with an irritated sigh. I would have to make one more trip to get the rest of my things and risk running into Bailey again.
My phone vibrated in my back pocket as I made my way down the metal steps to the parking lot. Balancing a box on my hip, I reached back to grab it and smiled slightly to see that it was Jen calling me, not Bailey, or even Noah.
“I didn’t think you’d answer,” she said, relieved. “I’m so happy that you picked up, Iris. I’ve been worried sick over you.”
“Don’t be,” I said, fumbling with my car keys to open the trunk. “I’m fine. I’m picking up my stuff from the apartment right now.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear you’re moving out. I heard Bailey crying non-stop in the dining hall about the entire thing. She acts like she’s the one who got expelled and crushed.”
I shoved the box into the car trunk with a grunt of effort. “That’s Bailey for you. She just wants sympathy and attention.”
“She doesn’t want to be the bitch in the situation, either,” Jen added.
“That, too,” I agreed and closed the trunk to my car with a relieved breath. “What else is being said around campus?”
“I don’t have to tell you. I’m sure you already know what people are saying.”
I did. “Right.”
“I wasn’t calling to talk about any of that, actually,” Jen said. “My classes are cancelled this afternoon since, well, I’ll explain when I see you. Do you want to get some lunch? I’m tired of the dining hall food. I have some news that you’ll like.”
“I could use some good news,” I said, sliding in the driver’s seat. “Where do you want to meet?”
She rattled off a tiny sandwich shop ten minutes away. When I pulled up into a parking spot in front of the building, she was already waiting for me on the sidewalk. She gave me a warm hug the second I stepped out of the car. I inhaled the comforting scent of spring air on her clothes before she pulled back.
“Come inside,” she said, tugging me by the hand. “You’re going to love this place. They have awesome sandwiches, and lunch is on me,” she added before I could protest. “Don’t bother fighting with me about it. I asked you to come here with me.”
“Thanks,” I said, following her into the shop. My stomach grumbled in appreciation. I couldn’t even remember the last time I ate a decent meal. It’d been a few days.
We ordered our sandwiches and carried them outside to sit in the warm sunshine. Spring had officially started the other day, and the warm weather was a welcoming change. We sat together a small table in the corner of the patio away from the crowd of people in the shop.
“So,” Jen said, taking a large bite of her sandwich. “How are you doing with everything that has happened?”
I took a bite, as well, despite my stomach threatening to upchuck everything. I ignored the feeling because I felt famished. “Fine,” I said, shrugging. “I don’t know what else I can really say since it’s said and done.”
“Do you regret it at all?” she asked, curiously. “I mean, woman to woman, was Noah worth all of this?”
I picked at a few stray pickles that had fallen from sandwich. I didn’t know how to answer that exactly. We both had made the decision to sleep with one another. It was never once one sided, but I had fallen for him in a lot of ways I had never imagined. And, it made that hole in my heart that much worse.
Regret was one of those big words you rarely voiced out loud.
“It hurts that it happened this way, but I don’t regret it in all honesty. I never expected to be excluded from that rule. We broke it, and this is the consequence of it.”
“Still, there are only a few weeks of school left,” Jen said, shaking her head. “Miles could’ve just suspended you and told you to finish up the semester from your apartment.”
“He had other ideas on how he wanted to handle it,” I said sourly. “He needed to make a loud and clear example out of the situation.”
She lowered her sandwich back to the wax paper it came wrapped in. “Speaking of that, I talked to my dad about everything. He’s the dean at the University of Utah.” My eyes widened at that. “Don’t ask why I’m not there. Everyone always asks me that question.”
“Right,” I said. “Won’t ask the question.”
“Anyway, he said that you that you could take summer online classes to graduate there. He’ll make the transfer happen if you want. I can help you fill out the paper work and everything.”
I sank back in my chair with a pounding heart. I stared at Jen, utterly speechless at the news.
“Jen, wow,” I said breathlessly. “I honestly don’t know what to say, besides thank you.”
“That’s all you have to say,” she said, grinning at me. “You’re my friend. I wanted to help you out, and none of what has happened is exactly fair to you. You deserve to finish school like the rest of us. This way, at least, you won’t have to go longer to do it. You don’t even have to go to campus except to take final exams.”
Tears filled my eyes, and I wordlessly stood out of my chair to hug Jen tightly. She patted me on the back when I pulled away to wipe my eyes with an embarrassed laugh.
“I’m never this emotional in front of people,” I confessed.
She laughed lightly. “That’s okay. It’s nice to see it as a change. I promise that everything will work out.”
“Yes,” I said, heart lifting for the first time in a few days. “Thank you, Jen. I can’t say it enough, but I owe you big time. No matter what it is, call me. I will be there in a heartbeat.”
“Thank you,” she said. “I appreciate the gesture.”
We finished up our sandwiches thirty minutes later. Jen glanced at her phone with a disappointed sigh as we stepped out from the patio area to our cars. “Not to rub it in your face,” she said, “but I have to get back to campus and get to class.”
“Right,” I said, glancing down at the time, as well. “I better go, too. I have an hour’s worth of driving to do.”
“It’s a shame that I won’t see Noah every single day,” Jen said then, shaking her head. “Not to hit on your man, but he was certainly nice to look at. The entire female population is jealous of you.”
I stopped rummaging through my purse for my keys. I frowned at Jen when she looked back at me in confusion.
“What?” she asked.
“Why wouldn’t you see Noah every day?” I asked. “You have class with him every morning, along with other students.”
Jen gave me a strange look. “Right,” she said, slowly, “but not anymore. Have you talked to him at all since you were expelled?”
“Once,” I replied, confused as much as she was. “Why?”
“He resigned on Wednesday when the dean questioned him about it,” she explained. “The dean wanted him to coach the rugby team, but Noah refused to stay if he didn’t reinstate you. My dad said Noah walked out when the dean refused to do it. He walked out even after being offered triple the pay.”
My heart slammed repeatedly into my ribcage. Guilt flooded me when I thought back to what I had said to him in the parking lot. I had never let him answer my questions. I had just assumed the wrong thing, and he let me run away with that assumption.
“I can’t believe it,” I said, looking at Jen, who now looked even more confused. “He never said a word to me about it.”
“I don’t know why,” she said, “but he packed his things up Wednesday night, and he wasn’t in class this morning.”
“How did your dad know about this?”
“One of the professors at PHU called in a favor for Noah on an open teaching position there,” she said. “My dad called in to talk with Miles about Noah, and that sent everything spiraling downwards even more.”
I couldn’t believe it. For weeks, I caught sight of that tormented side Noah wore well when it came to relationships. He never once professed to be good at relationships. He admitted that he was the one always making mistakes, but letting a job go because the dean wouldn’t reinstate me put him high on a pedestal in my eyes.
It was me making all the wrong decisions. I was the damaged one between the two of us because I had pushed Noah away from no reason when he had tried to help me.
I needed to find him.
“Thanks, Jen,” I said, hugging her once more. “I’ll be in touch with you soon.”
“Text me to let me know how it all goes,” she said, smiling at me. “Good luck with Noah. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”
“Maybe,” I said, softly. “We’ll see.”