CHAPTER SIXTEEN
was hard to admit that the pace Corsica set was impressive. I had forgotten that she ran every morning, usually along the beach, and that underneath her pretty sundresses was a fit, athletic body. She marched along the trail with fiery determination. There was nothing to do but focus on the hike and enjoy the view.
Corsica had switched out her breezy sundress for a pair of tailored, khaki shorts and a sky-blue tank top. Every time I glanced over the curve of her back, I thought the shirt was the color of her eyes. After the silly thought reoccurred a few times, I wished the incline was more punishing. I was having trouble keeping my mind on our trip.
The biggest problem was I couldn't believe we were out there. I kept thinking Corsica must be a daydream in front of me. I was still amazed and pleased that this had been her idea.
"Couldn't find a bigger pack?" I asked.
Corsica tossed a look over her shoulder. "It's the same size as your pack."
"Except mine is full of necessities like a frying pan and food. How many dresses, skirts, and outfits did you pack?"
She stopped on the trail and spun around to face me. "I've got the coffee grounds and press, plus half the water. What, is your pack too heavy? Do you need me to take on more?"
I laughed and brushed a wavy curl out of her face. "No. I'm just teasing you."
Corsica swatted my hand away. "Why? You can't think of anything better to say?"
I shoved her along the trail and was glad when she turned back around. It was annoying how quickly she saw through me. What was I supposed to talk about? How beautiful the day was or how the sound of the stream far below us was slowly lulling me into a happy stupor?
I could have told her how happy I was to be out with her and how my heart tripped every time I thought about having her all to myself for days.
"Just so you know," I said, "I'm not going to dress for dinner. I left my suit and tie at home."
Corsica snorted. "That's your loss. Don't you know how great it feels to dress for dinner?"
I caught her hand and pointed across the stream. "There's a good spot to camp. How about I set us up and then you can explain how a stuffy, snobby ritual can feel good."
By the time I was done with the tent, Corsica had the fire pit dug and ringed with large rocks. She'd even gathered a few nice logs and a decent pile of kindling. She was laying out the cooking stuff when I finished securing the rain flap.
"See? What's the point of dressing for dinner when there's only going to be one course. I hope you like roasted veggies and hot dogs," I said.
"And pasta," Corsica said. She unearthed a cooking pot and box of macaroni from her pack. "And wine. Your father snuck it in before we left."
I pulled over a log and sat down. "So you're really going to make me dress for dinner?"
Corsica brushed back her hair and put her hands on her hips. "What's so bad about it? Everyone takes a few minutes to relax, get cleaned up. I think changing clothes and freshening up sets the whole tone for the evening."
She held out the cooking pot. "I'll start the fire while you filter some stream water. Once the pot's set to boil, we'll retire to our separate quarters and dress for dinner."
I took the pot. "Separate quarters?"
"The stream side of the tent is yours and the hill side is mine. No talking, no teasing. I'll see you in ten minutes or so." After lighting the fire, Corsica rummaged through her pack, pulled out a black, cotton dress and her brush, then disappeared behind her side of the tent.
I filled up the water filter and splashed cold water on my face. After scrubbing off the sweat and putting on a clean shirt, I almost had to admit she was on to something. Then I saw her and knew I had to admit she was right.
Corsica's hair was loose and soft, brushed to a glossy shine. She'd worn it in a braid all day but now let it spill over her shoulders. The black dress was soft, billowing and clinging to her tight form in turns.
I stood up and offered her my log. "My lady," I bowed.
Her lips quirked up. "Thank you, kind sir. So, don't you feel better?"
The peace of the burbling stream and the idle call of the songbirds had lulled me into contentment. My body was tired from the long hike, but in a loose and relaxed way. I felt calm and happy, but I couldn't admit all of that to her. "I always feel better when I'm out camping. That's why I started the business I did."
Corsica chopped up the vegetables while I uncorked the wine. "So you're an entrepreneur," she said.
I didn't like the way she said the word, like I was just some rich boy playing at a job. "I prefer innovator. I spend most of my time on camping trips like this so I have firsthand knowledge of how my equipment works and what improvements can be made."
She tossed the vegetables in the frying pan with a slosh of olive oil. "Are you one of those people who doesn't think inspiration can strike in the office?"
I laughed and dropped down to sit beside her. "God, how do you always call me on everything? So I've built up the perfect excuse to stay out of the office. I've found a job I love."
Corsica nudged me in the shoulder. "I like seeing you at work, out here. Makes me feel like I'm actually starting to get to know you."
"We might not know each other yet, but we know this." I caught her smile in a kiss.
There was a hunger between us that was far more important than dinner. Our passion ignited faster than the campfire.
While the water heated and the vegetables began to sizzle, I laid Corsica down on the soft moss. She skimmed her hands up to my shoulders and drew me down. Our mouths tasted, then devoured, our bodies consuming each other.
The rest of the night was a velvet blur of happiness. The food tasted all the better for us working up an appetite and we were both so thirsty, the wine went down too easily. We laughed and lounged around the fire until late in the night, then tangled up together in the tent.
It was hard to unwind myself from Corsica in the morning. My mind kept diving back into dreams and fantasies of future camping trips. Corsica and I would explore all of Pinnacles, then adventure through Joshua Tree. We'd bring our children out before they could walk and sleep all snuggled together.
I slipped out of the tent, started the fire for coffee, and then got ready. I left Corsica a note telling her I was just over the crest. There was a rock face there where I needed to test out some new rock-climbing shoes.
Work was a good reality check, I told myself as I started up the sheer rock wall. It wasn't very high, but it jutted out and I needed to concentrate to keep my footing as I clung to it and inched higher. The trial run of the shoes and the exercise was supposed to knock Corsica out of my thoughts, but it only doubled the effect she was having on me.
I couldn't think about anything else, just her. Corsica flashed through my thoughts, a mix of passionate memories and moony daydreams. Since when did I waste time thinking about a happy relationship? And children? I must have gotten drunk off the wine. I shook my head and tried to keep concentrating.
It was just a passing phase. I had been so stressed at the thought of losing my mother that I had tried to find someone to take her place. It was all just a change of pace and soon my life would get back to normal. I scrambled to the top of the rock wall, snarling as I wished Corsica was there to see me.
I didn't want a wife or a family. I didn't even want a serious relationship. On the crest, I turned to the breeze and took a deep breath.
All I had ever wanted was freedom. First, it was to get away from my father and his volatile moods. Then, it was to crawl out from under my father's shadow and the oppression expectations of my inheritance. After that, I wanted to be my own man and not let anyone try to press me into the mold they thought I should fit.
If it was up to Corsica, I'd be dressed in linen sports coats and having brunch at a country club.
That thought fortified me, but it was lost when I got back to camp. Corsica had the fire stoked, the coffee made, and she was rolling up the tent.
"There you are," she smiled. "I'll make us some scrambled eggs."
The only response I had prepared was a ranting defense of where I had been and why I had left her alone. So, I grunted and nodded towards the stream. I sluiced off the sweat from my climb and came back to the campfire bare-chested just to annoy her. Corsica only licked her lips and smiled at me again.
My body erased all thoughts of freedom as all I could think about was getting closer to her.
"We should get going. I have to get back to my mother's encampment," I said.
Corsica took the eggs off the fire and looked up at me with a frown. "Why? Is everything all right?"
"These shoes are not going to work at all. I've got to get the design team my notes before they present it to the shareholders. We can't sell them like this."
I ripped open my pack and yanked on my dirty shirt from the day before. "So, you got lucky. Our camping trip is getting cut short."
"I don't think that's lucky. Do you really need to go back to call them?" Corsica dished out the eggs and stirred hers without eating them.
"I have to teleconference. I have to show them what's wrong with these pieces of garbage." I tossed the shoes into the bushes, despite the fact that they had performed great. Not that I had noticed; I was too busy mooning over Corsica like a moron.
I almost changed my mind a dozen times as we hiked back. Corsica kept her mood light, despite my grumblings. She pointed out other viable campsites and talked about coming back on another trip. In the early afternoon, she stopped in a sweet-smelling meadow and pointed out the grass was long enough to shade us.
"Are you sure you don't want to rest for a while," Corsica asked with a mischievous smile. "We could spread out a blanket here and no one would see us."
I shook my head and marched towards my mother's encampment as if a swarm of bees was behind me.
"Whoa, what are you doing back so soon?" The first person we saw when we arrived was my father. I almost didn't recognize him in wrinkled dress pants. His shirt was unbuttoned to his sternum and the sleeves rolled up.
"I had an idea about work and it couldn't wait," I snarled. "Is my mother inside the yurt?"
Xavier nodded then helped Corsica off with her pack. She smiled at him, despite her expression looking faded and confused. "We found the wine. It was wonderful; thank you."
It was irritating how clean the connection was on my mother's neglected laptop. I shouldn't have been surprised that Xavier had given her the latest and best technology, despite how she stacked in under mountains of books. The teleconference also went too quickly and all of my nit-picking suggestions were immediately addressed. I closed the laptop and couldn't think of any other excuses to avoid Corsica.
She had showered and changed into a flowing sundress. Bright beads winked on her impractical sandals as she swung a Gucci purse over her shoulder and headed towards the spa.
"Glad to be back in civilization?" I snapped.
Corsica stopped, but didn't turn to look at me. "I would have happily stayed out on the trail for two more days like we planned. Now, I have an appointment."
"Let me guess, pedicure? Or hot stone massage?"
She took a deep breath and let it out in a controlled sigh, then pinned me with a guileless look. "You seemed busy with work, and I didn't want to interrupt any more. So, I made an appointment to talk to the resort manager about the glamping sites. I want to know more about it."
I snorted. "One night out there is driving you straight back to excess and luxury, huh?"
Corsica looked hurt. "I really enjoyed our night 'out there.' The whole 'dressing for dinner' gave me a great idea for ways to weave little luxuries into a rustic, outdoor experience. I was inspired."
My chest hurt and I tried to loosen the knot there with a sigh. "I was inspired, too. I'm sorry that that meant we had to cut our trip short. I finished talking to work. Do you maybe want to go on a hike?"
Her eyes narrowed to blue lasers. "I told you, I have an appointment. I'm not just here at your beck and call, Penn. Besides, now that I didn't even interview at the Ritz-Carlton, I better start exploring other job opportunities."
I caught up to her again and grabbed her wrist. "You know, maybe we should work together on the whole glamping thing. I've got equipment designers that would drool over the possibilities of a luxe line."
Corsica yanked her wrist back. "You made it very clear this morning that your work is solo. I'm sure you have more equipment you need to test by yourself. Good luck with that."
She marched along the path with her delicate dress billowing, and my heart went with her. It was impossible. No matter what I did, Corsica was in or around every thought. I had tried ignoring our connection, then I tried indulging it, but no matter what I did I couldn't get her out of my system. Every muscle in my body ached to follow her, but I knew I would only make things worse.
Instead, I went back to the campfire outside my mother's yurt and brooded over the flames. I wanted Corsica, but what did that mean?
She didn't know what she wanted, and I think that was what irritated me the most about her. Corsica was lovely, talented, strong, and resourceful. I wanted her to find a job, a lifestyle, that was near me and that suited me, but it was impossible to figure out where she was headed.
The idea of glamping circled in my head as once place where our two worlds overlapped. If only I could get her settled there, it would be natural for our connection to continue.
So, I needed to get her a job. Then, a place to stay. Then a reason to run into me every day, multiple times a day. Scratch that, it wasn't enough, I needed her with me. Maybe we'd find a place together.
My mind drifted into more daydreams about Corsica and I living together. There wasn't much sleep, but there was her singing, our spirited debates, our red-hot kisses, and those blue eyes of hers seeing right through me when I tried to be something I was not.
"Let go of me, Xavier, I don't care what you say." My mother's angry hiss slashed through my fantasies. "Let go of me right now or you'll be sorry."
"Alice, please, just listen to me. Why can't you ever listen to me?" My father's voice was rough with frustration.
It sent rapid waves of panic over my skin. Had he started drinking again? He gave Corsica a bottle of wine–maybe he was hiding more alcohol. Maybe he was blind drunk and looking for a fight again.
I stood up, every muscle clenched. I had been a scrawny and frightened boy the last time, but now Xavier wouldn't know what hit him. I charged around the corner of the yurt and skidded to a halt.
My mother had twisted her wrist free in a practiced, self-defense move. Then she caught Xavier's face with both hands and disarmed him with a kiss. My fists dropped as did my jaw. There was no fight, no violence, just a volcanic outpouring of passion that sent me back two steps.
I stepped on a twig and it snapped like a gunshot.
"Oh! Penn, I was just coming to find you. We have something-"
Xavier interrupted her. "Alice, please, now is not the time."
"If you lay another hand on her, I will kill you," I snarled.
My mother's eyes flew open first with surprise and then with painful compassion. "Penn, darling, I'm safe. Your father is not hurting me. We were just arguing over when to tell you something important."
"Looks like it better be now," Xavier muttered.
I clenched my fists again. "What is it?"
Alice swept back her flowing sleeves and pressed her palms together. After a cleansing breath, she said, "Your father and I have reconnected over these past few years. This battle with cancer has burned away all our past mistakes and made us realize that we still love each other. We're getting married."
Cheers went up around the encampment, and I realized we had all been talking loud enough for everyone to hear. My mother looped her arm through my father's as they walked past me to meet their well-wishers around the campfire.
I stood where I was even after a bottle of champagne was unearthed and the toasts began. I couldn't help watching like a hawk as my father turned down a pour of the sparkling wine. It was impossible to admit that they looked like a happy couple. From the outside, minus the traumatic childhood, my mother looked radiant and my father looked like he was about to burst.
Alice stood up and thanked everyone. "Xavier and I discovered that, finally, after years of smoothing out all our rough edges, we are a perfect fit. It only took raising our wonderful son, facing our own demons, and battling our own stubbornness to bring us together. So, we are finally going to tie the knot!"
Every one raised a glass. Every face was a smile, every voice was a laugh. I stood there and couldn't believe what I was seeing. I knew it was the picture of happiness, but I couldn't believe it was real.
"Penn? Can we talk?" Xavier asked.
I stalked off behind the yurt and crossed my arms before facing him. "If you hurt her again, I will kill you."
Xavier nodded gravely. "I heard you the first time. Penn, I need you to know that I've been sober for years now. It hasn't been easy and I failed a few times, but now I really value this life, your mother and you, more than alcohol."
"And I'm supposed to just believe you?" I snapped. "You didn't even tell me she was sick."
"I know. That was wrong of me."
I tore my hands through my hair. "We wouldn't even be talking now if you hadn't thought she was on the edge of dying. She was on the edge of dying."
Xavier straightened up, his eyes bright. "And that's why this is happening now. I love her, Penn, I always have. I can't waste another minute drunk or separated from her. We want your blessing, but first, I have to ask your forgiveness. I need to make amends."
"That's it, isn't it?" I snapped. "You need me out of the way. That's how it's always been."
I couldn't face him, so I walked away.
Corsica ran after me and stopped me before I could hit the trail. "Penn! Isn't it wonderful! Did you know? Is that why you decided to come back early?" She looped her arms around my neck and bounced while she hugged me. "I'm so excited for your parents. Your mother looks positively radiant."
She moved to look at me, but I held her tight. I couldn't let Corsica see my expression. Her whole body vibrated with joy. I wanted a moment, just a moment, to feel it through her.
I couldn't let myself be happy for my parents. There was a cold weight in my chest when I thought about it. But, Corsica was so ecstatic for two people she hardly knew, and I was jealous of how free she was with her emotions.
I buried my face in her hair. "I'm glad my mother is happy. She deserves it. She deserves all of this and more."
"Come back to the campfire," Corsica urged. "They're opening another bottle of champagne. Are you going to make a toast?"
I let her go and shook my head.
Corsica rolled her eyes. "You should make a toast. But, if you aren't, the least you should do is have some champagne and hear about what I found out about glamping."
"Wait, so you're not mad at me?"
Her smile went crooked, but did not diminish. "I was. I was going to be mad at you all evening, but don't you think this happy news kind of knocks that out of the way?"
I took her hands. "I shouldn't have cut off our camping trip because of work. That's something my father would do and I want to make sure I never follow his example."
She squeezed my fingers. "Don't you think you'd feel better if you forgave your father?"
"I'm not sure he deserves it, yet." I thought saying yet proved that I was not unbendable.
"Maybe it shouldn't have anything to do with him," Corsica said. "I'm not mad at you anymore, and I've got to say the rest of the evening looks a lot better because of that. Why keep wasting all your energy like this? If you forgive him, then you can move on."
"You make it sound so easy," I sneered.
She brushed my unruly hair out of my face. "I just think it would be best for you. I'm on your side, Penn."
That did it. It felt like a dam was splitting open inside me. I couldn't name what I was feeling, so I turned it into anger.
"You're not really on my side," I snarled. "You're just like every other woman who’s had her head turned by the better things in life."
Corsica stepped back. "You reminded me how much I love camping. You're right; I don't need a lot of extra things or fancy things-"
"You just need things," I said. The cracking sensation in my chest was blinding. "You'll say anything you can to make me believe we're perfect together. Well, guess what, no couple is perfect. My parents are the best illustration of that."
"They are not perfect, but they are a great couple," Corsica declared. "They've been through so many ups and downs and missed connections and neglected opportunities, but they still love each other and they are still willing to try."
I shook off her grasp. "You'll really say anything, won't you? Just to make-believe in romance and lure some man down the aisle."
The words flowed out before I could stop them, and when I finally got myself under control, Corsica was gone.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
" decade does Penn think it is? The fifties?" I shouted. Ginny covered a smile, but my friend's humor did not take the edge off my anger. "He thinks, he actually thinks that I graduated from college with no other ambition than to catch a man and get married!"
"Thank God he’s wrong," Ginny muttered. ”Because if that was true, you'd be marrying Joshua. Ugh, he would be so ready to jump right into this conversation and try to marry you. How's that for a reversal! Does Penn know that? Maybe you should tell him."
"Tell him what? That I have someone who wants to marry me? Then I'm just proving his egotistical, chauvinistic, pig opinion."
"Whoa," Ginny said, holding up both hands. "That's a lot of names. Penn never struck me as a pig."
I snorted. "He'd be happy living in a muddy ditch the rest of his life. You should have heard him explaining it so carefully in the woods. As if I were hanging on his every word and just waiting for him to propose."
"But you did sleep with him."
"Ginny! Whose side are you on?" I threw my hands up in the air then clenched them into fists. "Penn has been a pig this entire time. I just got a little distracted."
Ginny choked back a laugh.
I spun around. "This is all your fault, you know. If you hadn't teased me about being stuck in my shell… If you hadn't challenged me to be more spontaneous, then none of this would have ever happened."
My friend smiled to herself and shrugged. "Maybe you'll thank me some day."
"For letting him sleep with me and then accuse me of trying to coerce him into marriage?" I scoffed. "Not in this lifetime."
Ginny sighed. "He was upset about his parents' big announcement. Maybe he'd gotten used to be the only man in his mother's life."
"No. Not true," I shook my head hard. "Penn hadn't seen his mother in years. He'd stopped talking to her after she defended his father. Penn said she needed to make her own mistakes, and he needed to get on with his life."
"But now his parents are back in his life. And, so are you," Ginny said. "It's got him in a panic. He doesn't know how to deal with a family suddenly popping up and surrounding him. He just accidentally took it out on you."
I dropped down and yanked my suitcase out from under the bed. It had been a long bus ride back to Monterey, but Ginny had arrived just minutes after me. She'd heard more than enough via cell phone to know that I probably needed a ride back to Santa Cruz.
I stood up and slammed the suitcase on the bed. "Maybe. Maybe we'll never know, because I'm leaving. He doesn't need me around anymore, except for one thing–that is definitely never happening again."
Ginny clapped her hands and then swung open the closet door. "All right, then, let's do this. We'll get you packed up and out of here. You can stop by the lounge on your way out of town and tell them you can't perform this weekend."
I unzipped the empty suitcase, but the zipper felt heavy. "I forgot about my gig."
"It's okay. There's karaoke tonight in Santa Cruz. I bet we could even get Joshua to give it a try. With you back in town, he can finally stop moping around. Maybe this was the perfect way to shake him out of his rigid, little plans. Joshua's probably ready to finally hear what you want." Ginny pulled out my short row of sundresses.
I caught them before she dumped them in the suitcase. "I'm not going back to Santa Cruz for Joshua. This is ridiculous!" I marched my clothes back to the closet and hung them back up.
Ginny smothered another smile. "So, you're not leaving?"
"The thing is, I don't need a man," I declared with my finger up to the ceiling. "I finally broke away from Joshua, and thank God for that. He had my whole life planned out as if I were some paper doll. And, we only ever looked good on paper. Did you know he couldn't even light a fire in the big fireplace at his parents' home?"
"Not the outdoors type," Ginny said.
"And, I don't need Penn," I bellowed. "I only used him to break me out of a rut, and now I'm out. I've got great ideas for my own company, my own brand of hospitality, and I don't need him for any of it. I'm going to be a success on my own."
Ginny couldn't stop a giggle. "Which is why you and Penn got along so well in the first place."
I glowered at her while I dumped out my suitcase and shoved it back under the bed. "I'm even going to stay here just to prove how little he means to me. His parents still think we're engaged, and I still have my singing gig in town. I've got everything I want and I don't have to let Penn mess it all up for me."
"So, you're not coming back to Santa Cruz," Ginny grinned.
My hands dropped. "Oh, Ginny, I'm sorry to make you drive all this way."
"Not a problem," she said. "How about we make use of Penn's great kitchen while you're still here."
I laughed, feeling lighter than I had all day. I linked arms and led Ginny out to the kitchen. "And leave a huge mess for him to clean up when he gets back. If he gets back. Maybe he got the point and will leave me alone for the rest of the summer."
"I don't think that will be the case," Ginny nodded to the door.
My chest filled up with hot ash as I saw Penn's car sweep into the driveway. "How about we go out for dinner? There's a great place just up the beach; we can use the back door."
Ginny waved over our shoulders at Penn as I dragged her down the steps from the deck to the beach.
#
was shocked to see Penn leaning against the kitchen counter when I headed to the door for my morning run. His hair was a mess, as if he'd just rolled out of bed, but he was dressed in sweat shorts and a black tank top. I refused to notice how great his arms looked. The tattoos were the in the way, a definite detraction, I tried to remind myself.
"Good morning?" Penn asked. He handed me my water bottle.
"You're up early." I snatched the full water bottle from his hand and headed for the deck door.
Penn followed me. "I was worried you'd be gone. I don't want you to go. Please, can we talk about it?"
"No," I said. I heaved open the sliding door and stepped out into the chilly morning breeze. "There's nothing to talk about. I'm staying because I want to hold up my end of the deal. Remember, it's just business."
"So, you'll stay?"
His flabbergasted expression made me turn around. "You'd been hit with big news and you were upset. Or do you actually think I've been sitting around daydreaming that you'd ask me to marry you?"
"I just thought-"
I didn't let him finish whatever he was going to say. Instead, I bounded down the deck stairs to the beach. Penn was right behind me, but I ignored him and started running. He caught up to me and settled into a pace that matched my own.
I scowled and veered away from him to the wet sand. There it was easier to run and I picked up the pace. Penn groaned, but matched me stride for stride. So, I headed away from the water to where the sand was deep and hard to run through. It was punishing, but I was in a foul mood and every time Penn grunted, my anger got lighter.
He was still keeping up, and now, I was starting to sweat. My lungs burned but I ran faster. I didn't need Penn in my life. I knew how to be alone, and I preferred it that way. So, I ran to escape him and the feelings I had decided to shut off.
"What is this, a race?" Penn gasped.
"If it was, you'd be the loser," I snapped and stretched into a sprint.
"Damn it." Penn charged after me, and I felt his fingers grab my tank top.
He pulled me to the side and my momentum swung me all the way around to crash into his arms. We fell to the sand. I shoved him away from me, but couldn't get my footing in the loose sand. As he struggled to stop me and I struggled to get up, we both started laughing. The battle turned into wrestling and when I ended up on top, Penn took my face with both hands and kissed me.
I should have slapped him, or clubbed him with some nearby driftwood, but my body ignored me. I could still feel the smile on his lips, the challenge met with equal force. We were evenly matched and it was delicious.
Too bad Penn was too egotistical to notice, I thought. I had the sinking feeling it would take a huge scene to make him notice I was in love with him. The thought revved up my heart faster than our sprint through the deep sand.
I pushed him down in the sand and got up. "That doesn't mean you won the race," I said and started jogging back.
Penn scrambled to brush the sand off and match me stride for stride again. "So, what does it mean?"
I blew out a labored breath. "It means that I'm staying, but only for a few more days."
We climbed the steps back to his beach house. I could barely lift my feet, not from the run, but from the realization that it really did matter what Penn thought of me. I wanted him to love me, and the only reason for that was because I loved him. It felt like a fatal diagnosis. I wondered how many days I could take before my heart couldn't take any more.
"Will you be here tomorrow night?" Penn asked as he opened the sliding door for me.
"Yeah, I guess," I muttered.
Penn caught my wrist and cleared his throat. "Speaking of our business deal, there is a charity ball at the golf club tomorrow night. My parents are going, part of their engagement celebration. I'd like you to come with me."
I gaped. "A formal event? Tomorrow night? I don't have a dress."
Penn rolled his eyes. "That would be your first thought. Don't worry. I have a tailor coming to fit me with a new tuxedo. I'm sure he can bring along some choices for you."
"Penn, that's asking a lot," I stammered.
"What if they are all designer labels? You can have your pick." Penn dropped my wrist.
I slammed the sliding glass door behind me. "I told you I would hold up my end of the deal. Now, how about you honor yours. You told me I would have a place to stay rent free, where I wouldn't be bothered."
I shoved past him and headed for the guest room. The steam and heat of the shower had finally unlocked the knots in my shoulders, but not the confusing tangle in my heart. So, when there was a knock on the door, I tensed up again.
"What now?" I snapped.
No one responded. I cranked off the shower spray, wrapped a towel around myself, and stalked into the guest room. No one was there, except three, beautiful dresses hanging over the doors of the antique wardrobe. One was a Ralph Lauren dream in sleek ivory. The next was a bold pattern from Vera Wang.
"No contest," I whispered as I moved to stand in front of the third dress.
The classic, Yves Saint Laurent dress was in deep, midnight blue. The tight-fitting corset featured a sweetheart neckline and a satin band before the full skirt billowed to the floor. I knew it was perfect, and I hoped with every fiber of my being that it would knock Penn on his sorry ass.
#
stopped at the bedroom door and opened it a crack to listen. Xavier had arrived, Alice was freshening up downstairs, and we were scheduled to leave for the ball at any minute.
I turned for the eight hundredth time and gazed at the beautiful dress. It hung untouched in its place on the wardrobe. The tailor had not needed to do any adjustments. The dress fit so perfectly I didn't even need to wear anything under it, no push-up bra, nothing. But, still, I was wrapped in a robe and the dress was on a hanger.
I couldn't go. Penn already thought I was shallow and materialistic. There was no way I could enjoy the spectacular dress, navigate the opulence of a high society charity function, and prove to him that I was more like him than anything.
It was insane and my hands reached out to the dress again, but I pulled back and stayed strong. What I really wanted from the evening was to spend time with Penn. The real Penn, not the Penn that was constantly harping on how dependent people were on images.
"What is she waiting for? Her fairy godmother?" I heard Penn snap.
"Don't be unkind," Xavier said. "You have a beautiful woman dressing up just to spend the evening with you. Trust me, it's worth waiting for."
I heard Alice join them with a throaty giggle. "Oh, stop, Xavier. You're embarrassing Penn."
"I'm not embarrassed. I'm just trying to figure out where he gets off telling me how to be kind," Penn said.
"Your father is a very kind man, Penn." Alice's voice was soft but firm. "I know you remember good times, too. So, we have our dark memories and we haven't been the closest family these last few years. Maybe that's a good thing because it means you two can start fresh. Just think how amazing that would be-a fresh start and our family all back together."
"And expanding," Xavier said. "Just wait until you see the dress that Corsica chose."
"If she ever comes out," Penn groaned.
Alice cleared her throat. "Be nice, Penn. For goodness sake, I don't know how she puts up with you."
I leaned my head on the door. I should have known that Xavier had made suggestions and helped select my wardrobe choices. He was thoughtful and kind, but his son was determined to remember only the very worst of him.
Now Penn was fuming because he was so used to thinking he was better than his father, and here was Alice pointing out it wasn't true.
Penn stomped down the hallway. In a panic, I vaulted over the bed and spun around to pretend I had just come from the bathroom. I had done my hair and make-up before I came to my senses, but it was too late to undo the elaborate upsweep style now.
"Corsica?" Penn knocked hard. "I'm coming in."
I crossed my arms over the robe. "I thought we agreed that since this is a business deal, I would have my privacy."
"This is my room," he said.
"Only because you insisted I get ready in here," I hissed. "As if your parents would care if I was using the guest room."
Penn's eyes flew open. "You aren't even dressed yet. Corsica, what are you doing? I thought you'd be dying to go to the fancy snore-fest."
I deliberately turned away from the siren call of the beautiful gown. "If you're not excited about it, why do you care if I'm ready or not?"
"We're going with my parents. They're ready to leave," Penn gestured to the door. "Come on, let's go."
I turned my back on him and faced the bathroom door. "I'm not going. In fact, I was just getting ready to take a bath. Your suite does have the better bathtub."
Penn's hands were on my shoulders and he spun me around. He was devastatingly handsome in his tailored tuxedo. The crisp black shirt and sleek tuxedo jacket covered up the majority of his tattoos, and I noticed that he had trimmed his beard. It was short and smelled of a bergamot vanilla aftershave that weakened my knees.
"What are you trying to do?" Penn asked. His dark eyes peered into mine.
I blinked. "I'm not trying to do anything. I'm telling you that I'd rather stay here and soak in the bathtub with a good book than go to, what did you call it? This 'fancy snore-fest.'"
"You're lying."
I looked him straight in the eyes and hoped he saw what I meant with my whole heart. "I would rather stay here and talking about camping and outdoor sports equipment all night than go to this charity ball."
Penn let go of my shoulders as if I had burned him. "Since when did you make a one-eighty?"
"I'd tell you that I've enjoyed my summer, especially visiting Pinnacles and camping, but you seem determined to not believe me." I wrapped the robe tighter around me. "Maybe I've changed. Maybe you've helped me figure out who I really am."
He snorted. "Maybe. And, maybe I should remind you of the high and mighty speech you gave earlier about holding up your end of the deal. We're pretending to be engaged to make my mother happy and to keep my father off my back. So, tonight we're going up the country club together."
He marched to the door, but stopped when I asked him. "What would you rather do tonight?"
When Penn didn't answer, I got angry. He slipped out and announced loudly to his parents that I was almost ready. Fine, he wanted to be so blind, that was his problem. I would hold up my end of the deal. I ripped off the robe and slipped into the heavenly dress. The full skirt whispered as it settled around me. I glanced in the mirror, but my only thought was I needed the stunning gown to be my armor.
I felt Penn's eyes sweep over me for the twentieth time as he helped me out of the limousine later. My cheeks were hot from the glances he'd given me in the car. Xavier and Alice were happily whispering and shooting us knowing looks. My gut twisted as I thought about how disappointed they would be when they found out it was all a lie.
"I'll save you all the formal introductions," Penn said. "Just look around and enjoy yourself. I'll get us some drinks."
He left me standing in the arched doorway to the ballroom, and I was glad the dress I chose fit to perfection. It didn't matter that I was now alone or that I was the only woman not sporting blinding amounts of jewelry. I smiled back at the heads that turned my way smiled. I knew how to handle a crowd like the one at the country club. Joshua had taught me well.
Still, I found myself drifting away from possible conversations. I slowly and casually made my way to the open patio doors. The party spilled out into the night and some guests were even strolling through the darkened gardens.
"You read my mind," Penn grumbled. He appeared at my elbow and handed me a crystal flute of champagne. "Did you write my name on any silent auction items?"
"No, but I should have," I said.
Penn chuckled at my prickly tone. "You'd do that to the penniless black sheep?"
"Oh, is that who I'm with?" I asked, keeping a pleasant smile in place. "I could have sworn you were my perfect and perfectly fake fiancé. Thanks for the drink."
"Now what are you mad about?" He sipped his champagne without batting an eye and surveyed the room. A half dozen faces nodded to him.
I studied him. "You seem to know a lot of people here. How long ago did you cut yourself off from your father?"
"Not soon enough," he muttered. "I can't believe they are getting married."
I watched Xavier and Alice strolling arm in arm and felt a twist of jealousy in my chest. They deserved their happiness, while I was faking mine. It was becoming more than I could bear.
"Now that your mother is feeling better and they have a wedding of their own to plan, don't you think we could tell the truth?"
Penn shook his head. "Not yet. It'd look bad."
I wondered if he meant he would look bad, but his friends joined us and saved me from my dismal thoughts. Phillip, determined to be happily single, brought another round of champagne while Bill and Tamara stood smiling at each other.
"I know, right? They're disgusting. Happy couples are so strange to me," Phillip said.
"That doesn't mean you're giving up on being part of a happy couple, does it?" I asked.
"No, I'm not going in for the Penn Templeton everyone-for-themselves outlook on life." Phillip laughed and took another sip of champagne. "Oops, I mean… Are you having a good time?"
Phillip's slip-up nagged at me, and I couldn't keep up the polite conversation. "No. I'd never thought I'd prefer some back country camping site, but this just seems so forced."
I didn't know Penn had been listening to our banter until he leaned over my shoulder. "It's not so bad. Phillip can teach you all his fun society games, like test-the-hair-extensions and spot the Botox injection site."
I turned to Penn. "Is your last name still Templeton?"
Alicia appeared at Penn's elbow and slipped an elegant hand through his arm. "You don't know your fiancé's last name?"
"Stay out of this, Alicia," Penn warned.
"Out of what?" Alicia tossed her glossy hair. "It's ridiculous for her to pretend she doesn't know you're Penn Templeton, owner and CEO of the largest and most successful outdoor sporting goods retailer. His biggest success is in research and development."
The willowy heiress winked at me as if the whole subject was incredibly boring and old news. I struggled to return her nonchalance, but my stomach took a sick dive. I handed Phillip my glass of champagne and staggered backwards out of our conversation.
"Oh, darling, that dress is fantastic, but you don't look so good," Phillip said.
Alicia tittered. "What an actress! I am impressed. As if you don't know every dime of his multi-billion dollar fortune. Penn's only been all over the headlines since his company made the Forbes list."
My mind ground in tight circles. I had been in Monterey with Penn and had completely left off keeping up with headlines. My whole summer had been Penn, the mansion that I now realized he had bought himself, and those visits out to Pinnacles. I clung to the tattered memories of our nights around the campfire there, but they burned away under my fierce blush.
"Am I just some joke to you?" I asked Penn. "Is that why you've been making such a big deal out of me liking nice things? You can have anything, custom-made or designer, so you think it's childish of someone to actually want something?"
Penn's mouth was a stern, suspicious line. "Frankly, I'm surprised it took you this long to find out. I don't mean to brag, but Alicia was right, my name has been making headlines."
"I wasn't paying attention to headlines. I was helping you through a family crisis, or was all that just a big joke, too?"
My voice was getting too loud. I spun and headed out the patio door. "Don't follow me. I just need some air."
I heard Alicia's silken voice as I retreated. "I knew you two weren't really engaged. Honestly, Penn, she's not your type at all. I can't believe your parents ever fell for it."
"They fooled me," Phillip said.
I sucked in my breath and refused to cry. I couldn't let Penn and his friends get any more entertainment out of the poor girl from South Dakota.