Chapter Thirty
Iris
Tomorrow’s monetary economics exam would suck. I stared down at the study sheet helplessly as I tried to retain the information written there.
I had no idea why I couldn’t concentrate like usual. The library was utterly quiet, and there weren’t any distractions anywhere. Still, I had a horrible sinking feeling that something was wrong from the way students in the English Department had looked at me on my way out of the building earlier in the morning.
“I give up,” I said, sighing. “I’m not going to get any studying done if I can’t concentrate.”
Closing my textbook, I tucked it back into my backpack. I powered on my computer one last time to check through my emails before heading back to the apartment. My heart skipped when I caught sight of an email from the admissions office.
Dear Ms. Paige,
The dean has requested an emergency meeting with you in his office no later than this evening. Please stop by as soon as you receive this email.
Admissions
That sinking feeling returned as I reread the email over and over again. Why would the dean want to see me so quickly? I closed my computer slowly as panic started to claw its way up my spine.
It had to be for another reason. Maybe something with my scholarship. It couldn’t be because of what happened between me and Noah. No one knew about it besides Bailey, who had been cheerful over coffee with me.
I gathered my things up before leaving the library with a pounding heart. I tilted my head up to absorb the sunshine for a moment. Students were milling about campus to enjoy the fresh warm air as long as possible. Their cheerful voices echoed behind me as I walked toward the admissions office.
The secretary looked up at me in mild annoyance at me entering the office at five minutes before 5:00 o’clock. She dropped her purse back down on the ground before looking up at me impatiently.
“Can I help you with something?”
“I got an email earlier from here saying that the dean wanted to see me,” I said, nerves garbling my voice. “I can come back tomorrow if that’s-”
“Take a seat,” she barked. “Why didn’t you get here sooner?”
My own irritation levels boiled at her snide tone. “Because I just got the email,” I said through clenched teeth. “I don’t keep my computer on me 24/7.”
“Well, you should. We’ve been waiting for you all afternoon. Have a seat right there.” She pointed at the chairs across from her desk. “I will fetch the dean for you. Stay here, please.”
I took a seat in one of the chairs while she disappeared behind a door. Resting my head on the wall behind me, I gazed up at the ceiling while a torrent of emotions went through me. There were only two reasons for the dean to want to see me: it either had to do with Noah, or it had to deal with my grades. That was all I could think of.
Most of the time, none of us ever saw the dean unless it was at important events around campus. He stayed in his office a majority of the time, or down on the rugby field with the coaches who tolerated him there.
It couldn’t be about Noah. I chewed on the pad of my thumb nervously. Despite how bitchy Bailey tended to act towards me, she never spilled out any of my secrets to people. She spilled everyone’s secrets out to me, but I knew many of hers, too. I knew way too many things about people because of her gossiping. It had to be about something else entirely besides Noah.
The door opened suddenly. I looked up to find the dean standing in a long hallway, and he motioned for me to follow him.
“This way, Ms. Paige,” he said. The warm smile on his face seemed forced when I rose from my chair to greet him.
I followed him down the hallway to the very last door. He held it open for me and waited until I stepped in before closing the door tightly. The smell of black tea and faint cigarette smoke filled the room. I’d only been in here once, and that was when I had come in as a freshman student to talk about a special scholarship that the dean was in charge of himself. I had walked out his office on a cloud back then when he selected me for the $20,000 creative talent scholarship.
From the grave expression on his face, I had a gut feeling that I wouldn’t be walking out with that same feeling again.
“Take a seat, Ms. Paige,” he said, breezing around me to sit at his desk. “We have something that we need to talk about.”
“Okay,” I said, sitting down in the chair across from him. I played with the strap of my backpack nervously. “I have no idea what this is all about, sir. Have I done something wrong?”
“I’m afraid there is something serious we must discuss,” he replied, scooting his chair forward to pick up a piece of paper on his desk. “We received an email from an anonymous student this morning about you and Professor Webber.”
My heart sank to the pit of my stomach.
“It states that you and Professor Webber have engaged in a consensual sexual relationship with one another, possibly on campus, but also off campus. There are also allegations that you stayed with or saw Mr. Webber over spring break,” he continued, looking up from the paper. “Is that true, Ms. Paige? You and Professor Webber have had a consensual and sexual relationship with one another?”
“I-I-”
“This email also states that you admitted the relationship to a fellow student. Is that true?”
Bailey.
Anger tore through me so fast that it left me breathless and utterly speechless that Bailey had gone to the dean about what I told her. And not out of concern, either. It was out of pure spite. I remembered that jealous glint in her glittering eyes when I admitted what had happened.
I sunk back against my chair with a ragged breath escaping my lips. How could she do something so low? It occurred to me right there and then that I had trusted the wrong person entirely with my friendship and life.
“Do you understand that I will have to investigate these claims?” he asked. His gaze didn’t lift once for my face. “We take claims like these very serious. We do not want relationships between students and-”
“Don’t bother,” I cut in with a trembling voice. I caught his gaze then and forced myself to keep my eyes rooted on him only. I'm sorry, Noah. I’m sorry. “It’s true. Professor Webber and I have had a sexual relationship with one another. It was consensual all the way, and I have no regrets over it.”
“I didn’t ask if you had regrets,” he said impatiently. “You signed the Code of Ethics your freshman year as a PHU student.”
“Right. I know that. I-”
“You also do understand that Professor Webber has a well-known reputation with women, right?”
I shook my head. “I don’t care about that. It wasn’t like that. It-”
“Ms. Paige,” he cut in loudly this time, folding his hands in front of him, “I’m afraid that I have to hold you to the same rules that I hold everyone. Relationships between students and professors are strictly forbidden for a reason. We cannot tolerate that type of behavior here.”
“Sir, I-”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Paige,” he said, shaking his head with a sigh, “but you are expelled from this university starting today citing your own confession to having a sexual relationship with a teacher on and off campus.”
His words washed over me numbly. This had to be some sort of nightmare. I pinched myself for good measure, but nothing happened. I was still sitting in the dean’s office with him staring at me with a sad frown that I suspected was more of a show than actual sympathy.
“You are no longer allowed on campus after leaving here,” he continued. “I suggest that you get what things you have, or have a friend collect them for you.”
“What about my classes?” I asked, tears starting to burn my eyes. “Please, sir. It’s only a few weeks until graduation. I can’t-”
“We can transfer credits to another school,” he said firmly. “You are not graduating here on the PHU campus. I wish you luck, Ms. Paige.”
I dimly gathered that our conversation was over. Slowly, I grabbed my things, and walked unsteadily down the long hallway. The secretary who had greeted me was already gone, and I stepped out into the warm evening while tears slipped from the corner of my eyes.
Four years of hard work: gone. The simple fact curled in my stomach bitterly as I walked along the pathway in the direction of the English Department. I needed to talk to Noah now that I was expelled. His job was next on the chopping block, and I needed to warn him.
Jen stepped out of the doors before I could reach them. She took one look at the tears streaming down my face before rushing down the steps to my side.
“Iris? What’s wrong?” she asked, taking a hold of my elbow. “Why are you crying?”
“Where’s Professor Webber?” The lights to his office were off, and I couldn’t remember if he had a class in the evening.
She frowned. “He just left after tutoring sessions. What’s going on, Iris? You can tell me anything. You know that.”
I teetered on telling her the whole truth. I was already expelled. What else could happen? Bailey had betrayed me because I trusted her with the wrong information. People were already talking about it. Nothing worse could happen because it already did happen.
“I slept with Professor Webber,” I blurted out, not looking at Jen directly. I felt her stiffen beside me in surprise to hear that. “A couple of times. I stayed at his house over spring break. Everything just sort of happened, and now I’m expelled. The dean expelled me.”
“He expelled you?” Jen repeated, her eyes widening at that. “That’s not fair, Iris. You’re both consenting adults.”
I shook my head bitterly, wiping at the tears on my cheeks. “It doesn’t matter. You can’t have relationships with professors. I am fucked, Jen. All my hard work is gone and down the drain. What am I going to do?”
“It’s not down the drain exactly,” she said firmly. “I’m going to talk to my father about this, Iris. I promise that you won’t lose everything you worked hard for.”
I turned away from Jen to gaze out at the sun slowly setting in the horizon. Brilliant hues of pink and orange filled the sky. It should’ve been a peaceful spring evening. I should’ve been walking to the library to study some more, but I was no longer allowed on campus after tonight. A surreal haze fell on me, and I turned to look back at Jen with a watery smile.
“I already have,” I said. “I made the decision to be a part of the relationship. Now, I get to pay the consequences for it. That’s just how it goes.”