CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Epilogue
ran down the beach as fast as I could, but even the punishing pace couldn't burn away the joy I felt. The beach house was more than my finish line. It was my home.
"What's your hurry?" Penn called from the deck. "Now that you're done with your morning run, we're going back to bed, right?"
I laughed despite my heavy breathing. "I thought you wanted to sleep in."
"Only with you." He caught me as soon as I stepped on the deck.
"Stop! I'm all sweaty!"
He nuzzled my neck and growled deep in his throat. "And, you taste delicious."
"No, really stop. We have to get ready. Today's the big day," I reminded him.
Penn didn't stop until his kisses made me lose track of all time. Then he leaned back and beamed down at me. "We can be late, can't we?"
I shook my head, though I was too content to leave his arms. "The ceremony can't start until we're there."
"I can't wait to walk you down the aisle," Penn said with another hungry kiss.
This time I did push him back, the bright ring on my finger glinting in the morning sun. "That's not until April. Today is all about your parents."
"Today is all about love, as my mother keeps reminding me. Surely, she'll understand if love is what makes us late."
I couldn't resist Penn any longer. I distracted him with a kiss and then lunged for the sliding glass door. "I'll race you to the shower."
He caught me halfway through the kitchen and I was overjoyed when those hard, tattooed arms closed around me. I looked up at him and wondered again how lucky I was.
Once we were done with assumptions, it was just us and we were so very happy.
VACATION
By Claire Adams
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2015 Claire Adams
Chapter 1
Vivian
It was still relatively cold this time of the year in New York. Heading to Miami wouldn’t help much. It was liable to be cold there too. With the shifting of the seasons, spring break was stacking up to be miserable. Not that I was in the mood to enjoy anything more than a good book and my pjs, but my roommate wasn't going to let me back out of our trip. She was far too excited to let anything dent her mood.
"I really don't think this is the best idea, Casey. Maybe we could call the airlines back and see if they're willing to move the flight just once more." I ran my fingers through my long crimson hair and dropped down on my small bed in our dorm room. "Just think about it. We could stay here and go to all of our favorite places. You know you love Central Park this time of the year."
"No, Viv. This is going to be great. You've been moping around this place since the beginning of February. We're getting the hell out of here for a little while. It will do you some good. It will do me some good. I'm tired of this frigid-ass weather. I need to see the beach and pretend like one day I'll get out of here." She moved to stand in front of me and touched my shoulder gingerly as I shifted my gaze toward the floor. "Hey, it's going to get better."
My eyes filled with tears, though I honestly didn't figure I had many more left in me. I'd known Jackson my whole life, and dated him most of it. I couldn't see myself beside anyone in life but him, and yet he felt differently. Not having the balls to tell me that he was sleeping with half the student body at NYU, I happened to find out the hard way – by accidentally witnessing him in action.
"Right." I pulled from her and got up, walking to the short window that sat at the far end of our dorm room. "I just wish it would hurry up."
"It's only been a month." Casey wrapped me in a hug from behind and I sunk down into it. My spunky roommate had been my best friend since kindergarten; her commitment to living life with me being one of the only things that was sure to help me through the break-up with Jackson.
"I know, but this was supposed to be our trip, Case. We'd been dating for ten years on Valentine’s. That was the reason for the trip, remember?" I pressed my hands to my face and took a shaky breath. "I just don't know if I want to go hang out in Miami for a week, even with you. I'll do nothing but drag you down and be a complete killjoy. The last thing I want to do is have you upset with me because I can't be anything but depressed right now. I'm trying to pull myself out of it, but I just can't seem to. You're going to be disappointed and the trip's going to suck because of me."
"That's not true. Not one damn word you just uttered is true." She moved back and tugged on my hair. "Get packed up. We got the tickets from Valentine’s moved to now, and we're going. You're going to meet some fantastic hottie and have loads of great, unattached sex."
She gasped dramatically as I turned to pin her with a 'get real' stare. "Me?"
"Yes. You. Just think – it will almost feel like you're a normal college girl. Having fun and living in the moment. What? What will the media think?" She wagged her eyebrows as I wiped the last of my tears away.
"You're dumb." And she was, but she was right. I needed to figure out how to start living a little. My life had revolved around Jackson and my grades for so long that having fun didn't seem attainable.
"Right, and you're dumber. Get that cute, little, black string bikini that you hate. It looks killer on you." She nodded to my bed. "Grab your pillow, too. You know how much you hate sleeping on anything but Hilda."
"It's too cold to wear a bikini. I'm going to need a full length coat and sweats just to be able to walk outside." I moved toward the bed and picked up my pillow, which we'd lovingly named Hilda years ago. I was on Hilda number six by then, but our traditions stuck – even the odd ones.
"Florida is vastly different than New York, Viv. Check the weather on your phone, and while you're at it, check the flight times, too. I want to run by the store on the way to the airport. I need some gum and want to grab a couple of beach towels before we go."
"The hotel doesn't give them to you?" I picked up my phone, forever minding my bossy-ass friend. She was president of every club she could get her hands on, energetic and an extrovert to the nth degree. I wasn't her polar opposite, but pretty damn close.
"No clue, but I don't want to chance it, and the gum is for your ears. You know they pop like crazy on takeoff." She picked up a nightie from her open suitcase on her bed and wagged her eyebrows again. "Whatcha think? Hot enough to catch some guys attention?"
Her blonde pixie cut and vibrant blue eyes drew everyone in quickly, and even after all the years of us being close, I was no different. She had a warmth to her that made you want to get close enough to warm your hands by her fire.
"It's rather naughty. You sure you want to take that with us? You're going to be mighty disappointed when I don't ask you to put it on." I gave her a silly look, which melted into a smile. She wouldn't wear the nightie even if there were a good-looking guy she wanted to impress. She was too self-conscious about her curves, though I didn't think she had any reason to be.
"Now who's being dumb?" She chuckled and tossed it back into her bag. "I'm going to find us some handsome boys to have a little bit of fun with."
"Right. You do that." I finished packing a few t-shirts and shoved the last of my jeans in before sitting on the top and motioning for her to come help me close the thing.
"Why am I suddenly concerned that you didn't bring anything dressy or skimpy?" Casey bent down and zipped up my suitcase as I wobbled on top of it.
"Because I didn't. The weather says that Miami is in the low seventies right now. That sounds warm, but we're right on the beach in Miami. It's going to be cold. You're going to freeze your ass off, and when you do, don't say I didn't tell you so." I shrugged and slid off the side of the suitcase. "Let's get going. The flight is in three hours. That gives us just enough time to grab the stuff you want and get there."
"Killjoy. Already." Casey popped the side of my leg and picked up her bag. "You're going to meet someone sexy that sweeps you off your feet. Mark my words. Karma's a bitch, and Jackson will get his, but you'll get yours too."
"I believe you." I slung my satchel strap over my shoulder and brushed my sweater and jeans to smooth them out. "I'm going to meet lots of sexy men that are going to leave me panting."
She smiled brightly before heading to the door. "There's my girl. I know there's an optimist deep inside of you. Are you thinking we'll meet them at the hotel or the beach, or maybe a bar?"
I walked out of our dorm room and turned to close the door as a smirk lifted my lips. "I'm going to find them in a book. Lots of books. Safe sex without the herpes."
"Oh Lord." Casey rolled her eyes, shook her head and moved down the hall, starting her murmuring as she always did when I acted up.
I chuckled and ignored the pang of regret I felt over letting her talk me into the trip. I wasn't ready to move on from Jackson, and not that the trip would force me to, but it was a first step toward taking back my life as a single person.
Too bad I would trade anything to make things go back to the way they were. It wasn't possible, though. Trust meant everything to me, and nothing to him.
As long as I don't have to see him for the rest of my life, I'll be good.
*****
Casey drove us to the nearest shopping center and waited ten minutes for someone to pull out of one of the front parking spots. I bit my tongue, but wanted to berate her for sitting there for so damn long when we could have already gone in and been back out.
"Are your legs hurting?" I asked as we got out of the car.
She smoothed down her short blonde hair and gave me a cheeky grin. "Not yet, but they will be next Saturday. Open 24-7."
I shook my head as we walked into the store. "You're corrupt."
"You love it. I'm your fixer-upper project." She elbowed me.
I started to respond, but noticed the way her face fell as she glanced just beyond me to someone else. Her voice was curt as she stopped me from turning, her fingers biting as she pulled at my arms.
"Hey. Let's just go this way."
I had no doubt who was behind me. My luck never held up for too terribly long. There was a moment where I contemplated following her advice, as I did most days of my life, but I couldn't seem to shake the need to turn around.
"I'm good. Really." I turned and met eyes with him, the boy I'd given my heart to, my virginity, my future.
He waved once as he moved up in the checkout line he was in and reached for a busty blonde, pulling her against him and laughing at something she'd said. His jeans fit him beautifully, his broad shoulders almost stretching the thick t-shirt he wore. To say he looked good would be a vast understatement. Jackson was the all-American boy with dark brown hair, warm brown eyes, and a way about him that made almost anyone melt – especially me.
Turning on my heel, I walked down the nearest aisle as languidly as I could. Why of all the people in the whole world to run into, did I have to run into him? He should have been gone on his own spring break trip. In all the years we'd been together, I'd never known Jackson to not have a huge trip planned for mid-March. What was he doing still in New York?
Casey was speaking rapidly under her breath, but all I could hear was the rushing of my own blood by my ears as my body lit on fire and anger burned up the center of my chest.
How could he be with someone already?
He was with someone when we were together, so him being with someone now that we're not shouldn't have been that surprising.
"Vivian. He's not worth it." Casey moved in front of me, and I hadn't realized that I'd stopped in the middle of the paper goods aisle and bent over, my hands pressing to my knees. Air was hard to find and the agony that pumped through my chest was unable to be ignored.
"No?" I whispered and sucked in a shaky breath. "Why does it hurt so fucking bad still?"
She ran her hand over my back rhythmically as she bent down to put her face beside mine. "Because losing someone that you plan to spend forever with is like a small death."
The sound of his voice behind us caused my blood to run cold. "Viv. You alright?"
I stood and brushed my hands down the side of my hair before turning and crossing my arms over my chest. "Sorry? Did you say something?"
His expression was almost caring, kind, loving. He watched me like he actually wanted to know how I was, as if he cared at all. "I just wanted to check on you. I saw you run for the aisle and–”
"Running? I didn't run." I moved toward him as my nervous system shot into overdrive. It was all gone. All the nights of having him make love to me then wrap his big strong body around me. All the promises, the dreams, the future. Gone.
"You did, but it's whatever. You're good?" His eyes moved down the length of me. "You look good. Really good."
"Fuck you." I couldn't pull the words back as they left my lips. I didn't want him to know that I was still swimming around in self-pity, that I was crushed by his decision to cheat on me over and over again. He had no right to stand there and look at me as if I was the woman he wanted in his life. He'd chosen everyone over me. He could sit on it and rotate.
He lifted his hands into the air and took a step back. "Whoa there. Okay. Sorry. Just wanted to–”
"Well don't. Go trip over something and bust your teeth, you jackal." Casey's words were biting and filled with venom. She moved around me to stand between us, her shoulders stiff and body posed aggressively toward Jackson. "She's not upset about you. Something happened back home. Go away, Jackson. It's none of your concern anymore."
He ignored my best friend and tilted his head to the side, reminding me of so much more than I was capable of handling in that moment. "Your momma okay? Everyone at home?"
I turned and walked down the aisle toward the back of the store to the bathroom, leaving Casey to rip into the man that was supposed to be my best friend forever. Now there was nothing left but small pieces of my dreams to pick up. It wasn't just the loss of my tomorrows that hurt so damn bad, but more so the questioning of my worth. If Jackson was willing to sleep with another woman, then surely I played some part in making that happen. I wasn't good enough or pretty enough or wild enough in bed.
It couldn't have just been him, and if it wasn't just him, then it was me too.
If he knew every part of me and didn't want anything to do with me anymore, why would anyone else?
I picked up my walk to a jog, and then a run. I could pretend that I was fine, but I wasn't. Miami was a horrible idea, and regardless of what Casey wanted...I wasn't going.